Mmm... You need a beta reader (proofreader). I suggest BlueLion, seeing how he's/she's been the most active reviewer of yours.

Ahh i love it,

great job

OMG...so intense! Can't wait for more!

You fanfic is one of the best and serious fanfic I ever read in fanfiction.

You describe an after war with such pain and hope. I love that and I agree with your view about the whole Gaang : Aang and his friends are too young to understand the truth about war and the price everyone has to pay to have a peace.

But they not idiot either...

I like you show another villains than Ozai and Azula. It's a good idea.

In truth, I would hope the anime to be as good as you fanfic.

Thanks a lot to write this story.

I can't wait the next chapter, now.

Aang resembles an amazed child, that is overwhelmed by the world of adults ... I find that highly implausible.

As for Zuko, he has to react to the Ember island massacre in some way, and react swiftly. Otherwise he risks an uprising in the Fire Nation, that could lead to civil war.

I like that General Chao, a no-nonsense-guy who knows his job. Contrary to him, Aang and Katara, as well as Zuko so far, seem really naive ...

Thank you for the city of "Blue Lion" - I'm flattered :-)

I think by now Zuko HAS to develop some reactive policy - with a somewhat military pressure in the background as well - otherwise he'll lose the trust of the people of the Fire Nation - one should severely ask the responsible persona of the Earth Kingdom what they're doing to ensure the safety of diplomatic missions within the borders of Earth Kingdom. If they fail to deliver a convincing reply Zuko would have to ensure that safety by means of the Fire Nation's military.

It's not that Zuko would take the step lightly, or that he weren't aware of the impression he'd be giving - nevertheless that would be a necessity to take care of the safety of his people, and - as Firelord - that would be his priority one responsibility.

first, you're very welcome -

second, i love this chapter, especially the maiko part :D

hello,

This is a interesting beginning. But, now, I think you have to develop Zuko point of view on his family, and about his father. Ozai was a Firelord. He was surely not all wrong about politics. He leads his people... Zuko has to suffers and understand (not love, but understand, in some way), Ozai's point of view about Fire Nation... Zuko never really lived in his people (he leaves Fire nation at 13 years old... He doesn't know his own people, but he must have a project.

You said in first chapter "forgive and forget"... It's interesting, but is Zuko capable to forgive his father? To forgive his sister?

Azula was a genious and a military stratege. Zuko can't lose this talent... he needs her and can't lose ozai's experience of power too. He has to deal with them and the Avatar...

Aang is an Avatar, but he has not the same ideal as Zuko. You have to show that too...

Well, it's just some Idea... You're a good writer and it's seems it's a long fanfiction. Goog luck.

The storyline is progressing smoothly - still there are those issues with spelling errors.

A few examples:

the Naval base that had so been apart of their lives for the last one hundred years was closed down

a part of their lives - two words

they would now have the chance to rebuild there lives

their lives

leave a small detachment of solders there

soldiers instead of solders

The plan was show that the Fire Nation was ready to forget the pass and that they were ready to open up trading relations with them.

Besides the spelling errors in that sentence there is also a semantical problem.

First of, nobody in the other countries would give a damn if the Fire Nation was willing to "forget the past", the Fire Nation was the culprit, they were the ones to make amends. Secondly, it's not quite clear to whom the last "them" refers.

So I would rephrase that one as follows:

The plan was to show the world that the Fire Nation was trying to tread a new path towards peaceful relations with the other nations, starting by establishing trading relations with them.

And so on and so forth ...

I strongly recommend for you to find a competent beta reader, who should weed out any spelling/grammar issues as well as assisting you to express the chara's ambition in a both consistent and entertaining way.

Keep up the good work!

Very good. Touches the heart. Some phrases of a Billy Joel Song come to mind ...

I was born in '49

A cold war kid in McCarthy time

Stop 'em at the 38th Parallel

Blast those yellow reds to hell

And cold war kids were hard to kill

...

Haven't they heard we won the war

What do they keep on fighting for?

Viktor was sent to some Red Army town

Served out his time, became a circus clown

The greatest happiness he'd ever found

Was making Russian children glad

And children lived in Leningrad

But children lived in Levittown

And hid in the shelters underground

Until the Soviets turned their ships around

And tore the Cuban missiles down

And in that bright October sun

We knew our childhood days were done

And I watched my friends go off to war

What do they keep on fighting for?

And so my child, and I came to this place

To meet him eye to eye and face to face

He made my daughter laugh, then we embraced

We never knew what friends we had

Until we came to Leningrad

And it still does not end ... 9/11, Afghanistan, Iraq, Lybia ... what next? Iran?

And the question is still haunting me ... what do key keep on fighting for?

nice, i would like to see where this will be going to

one more proofreading wouldn't hurt, there are quite a few spelling errors ...