Hey y'all! Whoa...Happy-Go-Lucky speedy cutie pie runner Rev actually hates something? Love it! I think your a simply fantatsic author! I'm so glad you wrote this ;) You really match up to Rev's personality so freely. Its amazing.

Plz do me a favor - never stop writing! Your stories are too fnatastic!

Awww darn. I wanted to be the first to review it. :( Oh well. Nothing against the other reviewers though! I read it way earlier today but then I had to leave and go to Comic-Con and I couldn't review then, because I wouldn't be able to put enough time into it for it to be a good review. You probably get the picture.

I kinda wish you had sent this to me for moi to beta, because I am anxious to test out mah skillz and all that. But if you just wanted to get it up there, that totally makes sense. :) Anyway. Onto the ACTUAL FEEDBACK. :P

This is a really cute little premise. I noticed that you made Lexi more than a bit annoying, which is not a bad thing by any stretch. I like how you tweaked it to make the READER irritated with her instead of stating that Rev was annoyed with her or something. It was well done.

I noticed some of that "excessive comma use" thing, (sorry, that's just me being picky) but the only time it really got out of hand was here:

"Inwardly he wished that some kind of atomic enemy would come along and start to scare everyone so that the Loonatics had something to do, but almost as fast as he wished, he regretted speaking on his desires, because a huge, ground-shaking, beam-shooting giant robot made little earthquakes as it walked along, crushing tents, and sending people frantically running away."

One sentence. One way to avoid this type of thing is to read it out loud, either to yourself or to someone else, and see how it sounds when you say it. Because it may look fine on paper (so to speak), or you may not notice how many commas you're using, but when you say it out loud it's a little much. Not that this sentence is grammatically incorrect or anything, it's perfectly fine. It's just a mouthful. You know?

The comma thing really doesn't take away anything from the piece, because like I said it's all correct. In fact I think you only had ONE spelling error ("fgelt"), which is VERY IMPRESSIVE considering that I'm assuming you edited this yourself (no reason for you shouldn't, since you're so good at it :).

You wrote Rev very well, and at the beginning I got a good understanding of how the rest of the team thought of him, which was good. Pretty much I just loved it. :) That whole bit with the "stupid stupid stupid" thing was adorable, and sounded just like Rev in a pouty mood. You did a great job comparing and describing the shoes- they sound despicable (ha ha).

Two more tiny anal stupid picky insignificant details (Sorry but I just want to give rounded feedback like you always give me :). First, there was this:

" Rev Runner was known amongst his friends for being the fun-loving happy-go-lucky speed demon that ranks ten in the likability factor, any person that had such a good-natured personality surely could never truly hate a thing, right?"

There needs to be a semicolon instead of a comma between "factor" and "any" because they are two sentences that you want to link together. No big deal, it just helps with the flow.

And also there was a part where you put "strait" where I think you meant "straight." Both are words, but a strait is a narrow passage of water connecting two large oceans. :) I bet that was just spellchecker though. I kind of feel bad for even pointing it out.

Anyhoo, to sum up this whole ridiculously long thing, I loved it, hope there's more coming, please feel free to ignore my irritating nitpicky-ness. Very nice.

-Reenie

THAT WAS AMAZING! Rev WOULD hate shoes, wouldn't he? ;) I luv it! Who ever though sweet, speedy Rev would hate anything! ) 3

This story made me laugh! I also thoughtthe same. Rev hate somethin'? Push-a! And then this story. Haha, looks like we finally found Rev's enemy! I love it!