This Story is Beautiful

I like the plot you had.
It seemed like they're were places where you needed to put more paragraphs in. You frequently had large paragraphs in your chapters.
You provided hat the main character was thinking which is important, but you left out a lot of description on how they FELT. How did Severs feel as the time was going by waiting for Harry? When exactly did he figure it out? He thought it was Harry at one point but immediately dismissed it and then as we're reading, at the part where Severus all of the sudden is planning his thank you date Severus says he knows who it was.
Really like the plot. Like the pairing. Like the ideas you had for the presents.
Thank you for sharing this story!

awesome work keep it up.
:)

Um...COMPLETE?
I'm sorry.
Not questioning your fantastic writing abilities or anything but this barely feels completed to me. Like you've just started to touch on the real substance on the story and you've just decided to hack it off in the middle.

Would you consider adding more chapters? Or a sequel at least? Because I would really like to see how this turns out.

What will Harry's friends think? How will the public react? What will Albus say? Will there be smut? And is Harry ever going to get into a situation where he has to use the emergency portkey and Severus has to come racing to his rescue?

Cause that would be super cute.

I've enjoyed this story thus far, but it doesn't feel complete to me at all. It cuts off in the middle, no not the middle, in perhaps the very end of the beginning. There is no middle, and certainly no end. I don't mean to be critical, but I really have enjoyed reading this story and to cut it off so abruptly just when the plot is starting to form and thicken is somewhat disheartening. You need to find more to write, or perhaps allow your story to be adopted because it's really well written and full of amazing details and other characters which are easy to bear, unlike some. You should REALLY consider continuing this.

Um, why is this story in the completed section? It's obviously not done because I want more! xD But seriously, this was a really good story. Well done! (:

Lov it

*jaw drops* And you left it there? More, please, more!

For some reason, this chapter has a different "flavor" to it. Perhaps it's the different way you wrote it with the times and actions.

Well, at least Severus and Harry have answered the question if the other feels the same as well as the mutual physical attraction.

As for the sequel (yah), could you put up a notice in this one that the sequel is up...please... Thanks!

Oh, and congrats on finishing a fic! And an excellent one at that!

that is good. update soon please.

hey waz up

can u write more of this story plz? if u can

i love harry potter and the gang

i hope i can read more of ur stories

ttyl

-yuuki kuran

queen of the night

I love it. I love it. I love it. It's do cute and sweet.

I love that Severus shows such a soft side.

:)

Oh, there needs to be a sequal, it just screams that it needs one.

The first part left me misty eyed (so I cried, so what), the rest was great to read. Poor Sev, if he keeps up, the new look, he'll shock the other Students and find himself, with a Fan base, LOL!

Awwwwwwww! This whole story is just too precious! I really do enjoy reading it!