ahahahaha those last 2 sentences had me rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off for good 5 minutes xDDD

Love this - the idea, and the way it's written. Can't wait to read more!

Heh, as soon as I read 'biotics squad' and 'probably irrelevant' in the same sentence I just knew that Jack would be right around the corner. Ha, awesome.

I think this fanfic is going to turn into one of my all time favourites, even though nothing much happened yet. But I like the slow pace, it suits the setting very well. I love character-driven pieces and prefer those to action/adventure-oriented stuff any day.

I find the picture you manage to draw of a post-war ME universe very fascinating, especially in the way Miranda is presented as a symbol for it. She appears to be war-weary, changed, tired. Much like all the other people and races that participated in the war. And yet she knows, they know, that it's not over yet, that there's still much work to be done, and so no one stops. Miranda also clearly wants to keep her own mind from wandering too much and so keeps herself busy, something you already pointed out in the very first chapter. Of course, additionally her whole Cerberus situation makes her own status in this mess a special one, too.

Oh yeah, I loved how you managed to pinpoint her character in this one phrase: 'Inaction was an indolent poison that made her chaff and squirm.' That sounds like Miranda, alright.

I like how her dream was triggered. Because at first I thought it didn't fit into the rest of the story at all and found it to be quite random, but then came the explanation and I was really impressed. The action of having this vid playing on a loop seems rather strange, for her at least. Which shows how affected she really is by all that has been going on.

What I continue to find so very intriguing about your writing is all the metaphors you make use of in order to describe feelings, situations etc. They make this all so real and palpable that as a reader you can so very well relate to the protagonist. I'm a very empathic person and it's quite easy for me to empathize with someone and those ingenious metaphors even intensify this. It's rather amazing.

Good that you include her background as a Cerberus operative. For all intents and purpose she was - and in many eyes she still will be seen as - an enemy of the Alliance, and so is treated with caution and a cold distance. At the moment, where everything is being re-built and no one asks too many questions about who is helping as long as help is given freely, the authorities take what they can get of course, so Miranda has nothing to fear I guess.

Nice that you flesh out her own fight against the organization a bit. Gage's motivations are great and plausible.

Their talk is another good reminder that this upcoming task of reviving Shepard again cuts her deeper than she lets on. She also tries to start thinking of it as a 'project' again, I guess to gain some distance. Because I think very subtly you conveyed the message that there indeed was something more between Miranda and Shepard. I'm not sure what it was, maybe it was of the romantic sort, maybe it was just a friendship, but I have a feeling it was something deep regardless, at least from Miranda's point of view. In every chapter so far you have about one sentence that seems to confirm this:

Ch. 1: Shepard wasn't here.

Ch. 2: Miranda didn't know whether to laugh, or cry.

Ch. 3: Or that smile. Miranda wanted off this lift, now.

It's not a smile, it's THAT smile. You don't think this way about a person you don't care for or know pretty well.

My guess is that you don't want to dive into the fact that there possibly was something more between them right away and that's why you do it with these subtle hints. And let me tell you, you're doing a great job!

You may want to think about italicizing the dream sequence.

Well, I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter. It's a lot of fun reviewing your work.

Leene

Good flashback scene with Miranda and good chapter. Interested to see how Jack, Vega and Miranda get on. Please continue.

It's nice to read a well done post-ending story that isn't all 'and then Shepard lived and ran off into the sunset with the LI'.

Plus, I totally head-cannon Miranda fixing Shepard up after the end. And you're doing such a good job too. Lovely. :)

And yay! Jack and Vega! (Though now I'm worried about who died on the ground with Vega...)

Glad to see you able to post since things have calmed down a bit for you. It's always a nice feeling when you can actually work on something you've written and get it posted.

Anyway, I liked the brief flashback with Miranda, but it actually had me a little confused at first since I wasn't aware it was just a brief flashback until Miranda awakened with a start. Perhaps italicizing that specific area might have given the notion that it wasn't in present time. But that's just a weird nitpick thing on my end. There were also some small and minor misspellings and grammar like "fours" at the mentioning of Miranda's L1 implant and then when saying the implants weren't commercial yet, perhaps the better word instead of "got" there would be gone commercial? There are some other areas where the word choice might perhaps work better with something else and the minor typos, but overall I don't think there were too many out there.

Overall, I feel it's moving a little on the slow side thus far, but I think that's okay since you can't just jump right into the frying pan with everything, ya know? I do like that you introduced Jack into the mix. I'm sure that's going to be an enjoyable conversation and interaction there. I'm also looking forward to seeing Miranda's reaction the first time she sees Shepard and what emotions go on there.

I'm looking forward to your next update when you get the chance. Cheers.

No pressure...lol. I like the concept since from the game ending its plausible that she would be around and called upon to help. Looking forward to more.

Oh, I like this. :)

I had an inkling of where you were going but I wasn't completely sure. I really like your interactions between Shepard's mother and Miranda. Showing their tentative standoff and assessment of the other I feel was a good start to them meeting one another for the first time since neither is quite sure what to expect of the other. I'm looking forward to seeing further interactions between them and the new task at hand that you have introduced into the story.

Nice job thus far and I look forward to your next post when you're able to update. Cheers.

Although it was short, I still liked the chapter a lot. It shows great characterization on your part in my opinion. Both women seem a little uncomfortable which is understandable considering the situation.

I love the tension between RDML Shepard and Miranda. I'm actually looking forward to their dealings with each other a bit more than to Miranda and the younger Shepard's. I hope there will be some space for a few moments between Miranda and Hannah in your story.

The moment Miranda realized that they had found Shepard was very well described. Her reaction was top notch and written realistically as was Shepard's notion to 'keep her baby alive'..

What I find quite fascinating is how you manage to describe how your own Reaper war went by just casually using a few words. While others outright say that they chose the rachni you just mention them as part of the war effort without further explanation. And it is completely enough. We don't need a retelling of past events, most of us experienced those ourselves. We want something fresh, and this is exactly that without totally forgetting the events of the games.

Looking forward to many more updates for this fanfic; you're doing great so far!

Leene

Well the story is great but I hope there's going to be some romance between Shepard and soon.

Well the story is great but I hope there's going to be some romance between Shepard and soon.

Good story and chapter. Please keep writing.

I am amazed. Please keep writing.

I love it. Its great, keep it going!

I'm hooked!