This was honestly so cute and I could hear the voices so easily! I love how you expanded upon the universe, upon whatever scant details the second movie provided. This just made me very happy to read and though I don't ship them, this was very well written.

Such nice reading! Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. So good, I love Jeremy and together.

Once again, I really enjoy how you write the interactions between Ms. Brisby and Jeremy. Not just dialogue and standard paragraphs, you show their fleeting thoughts and observations that anyone would have and it makes the characters really come to life.

And as someone who lived much of their formative years up North, I must also give you kudos on describing the weather and how they behave because of it so well. From just shaking off the snow to the coziness of a warm fire and how it just makes things feel content and you don't want to do anything but sit and enjoy it.

I miss the snow and winter weather. One day I shall return!

The actual speech of the characters fits as well, their mannerisms are spot on and how they talk is too.
People often write them talking grammatically correct, but real people don't actually speak like that.
So they feel very natural in this since you have them shorten or abbreviate words or just having them run on or be incomplete.

Is it weird to say that I actually like this pairing? Well, in the same way I enjoy other weird ships. Inter-species romance is so bizarre, yet I always seek such parings. (Don't judge me.) Jeremy and Mrs. Brisby would be one example. You are very courteous in keeping their relationship tame.

I really like your writing style, as well. It is so refreshing from the boring strings of dialogue I see much too often. You balance the dialogue with emotions and descriptions, which makes for an enjoyable read. Admittedly, this is debated by many a scholar, but perhaps you can replace some of the commas with periods to avoid comma splices. For example, the paragraph:

"Eh," Jeremy shrugged, the idea of Mrs. Brisby leaving her home, the one she'd saved—the one the lot of Thorn Valley didn't know about or appreciate—to save her children, not sitting well with him, "I think Mrs. McBride is pretty on top of it. But, I could take you there before the time comes if you like."

could be written as:

"Eh," Jeremy shrugged. The idea of Mrs. Brisby leaving her home, the one she'd saved—the one the lot of Thorn Valley didn't know about or appreciate—to save her children, did not sit well with him. "I think Mrs. McBride is pretty on top of it. But, I could take you there before the time comes if you like."

or something along those lines. It's a stylistic choice, honestly.

I understand that this fic is a one-shot. If you ever write for this pairing in the future, I think the relationship should be explored a bit more in depth. I'm not saying they need to get intimate. (In fact, I strongly suggest you stay as far away from that end of the spectrum.) Maybe you could involve some emotional growth for both sides. You could mention the perils a mouse and a bird having ANY relationship outside of prey and hunter. Perhaps a timid person like Mrs. Brisby might find it hard to associate with a bombastic guy like Jeremy. There are a lot of non-physical ways you can explore the pairing.

Of course, I'm just a person who likes weird ships. Take my words with a grain of salt.

D'awww.