OH SPIRITS!

This is one well-written, gutpunching, heartrending ride. I can't even begin to explain the cold feeling that gripped my heart when I embarked on this story...and then the adrenaline I felt going forward because the stakes, THE STAKES are not that there is some existential threat preventing Garrus and Shepard from being together; not even their own insecurities providing an initial block and adding up to a will-they-won't-they tension... It's just life, irreversible decisions, and it's so real, and so unfair, and so raw. I wept with Shepard in the shower when she finally let herself feel the gravity of all she had lost. I shook with Garrus when we peeked into his POV and saw that he was truly struggling with his own trauma and is not truly in deep love with someone else (I mean can you imagine, he already had lived 2 years without Shepard when she died the first time and that almost broke him... and then this time he waited 3 years before...god, and it DID break him this time, and the life he has cobbled together out of all the broken pieces is like a facsimile of a life of purpose/ambition, the only thing he could do with himself because he had absolutely nothing after Shepard...) I agree with the other reviewers that even as a true-blue Shakarian shipper, I'm not completely sure that in this fic I'd even want them to be together. And that's fucking haunting.

The characters are so authentic and true. Shepard and Garrus, of course, but also Ferox, and Varia...I desperately want to see more of them.

I can't help but notice the author's note on your bio from way back in 2015, saying life was busy but to expect an update in a month...:/ I have to admit, that worries me a bit. I hope it was life intervening once again and not...something more serious. I really hope you're okay, and that maybe you're a published author out there somewhere busy with being awesome and famous (because your writing is just that good).

If it's just a matter of passion fizzling out...I understand that it takes a lot of time and energy to invest in a story. But please know. You have already made such an impact with this story for so many people. It is a beautiful piece of art that speaks to something true. I'm aware that that itself can make it feel like pressure if you were to take up the mantle again and continue it...but in reality, I think it should the opposite. Literally ANYTHING you write to continue this will be like crack to us. At this point I can honestly say I don't care what happens...I just want to see it play out. Also, I will literally pay you money.

Here we are in 2020, 7 years after this story was last updated... I hope you don't think that we your readers are like Garrus, and have left you after 5 long years...I'LL STILL BE HERE FOR YOU *crying emoji*

Amazing story! Its sad its not finished. A shame, really! It would be wonderful if you could return.

Damn this sucks... I wish you'd continue!

Please know that this story is torment. It hurts. It is beautiful. It is like watching a movie. I can see it all in my view. I love it. It is a beautiful pain. I want Shepard and Garrus to be in love again, but we know that happy endings only exist in fairytales.

Thank you for breaking my heart. It is wonderful.

I can't believe im here after 4 YEARS and still not new chapter! damn my heart is broken ;-;

Dude i was looking for something fluffy but then i found this and it broke my heart. This story is AMAZING nonetheless and i love it so far. Its hard to find good fan fic writers these days but yours is worth scrolling through tons of other works to find. Keep up the awesome work!

I hate this story

I wasn't going to leave a review, but I couldn't help myself... This story is just too peculiar, and I needed someplace to spill my thoughts and feels about it.

To start off, I think this story can be summed up as the ultimate nightmare for any Shakarian fan. I read it late late at night, and by the time I was done I couldn't stop thinking about it. I've never read a Garrus and Shepard story that left me feeling so empty, and when I woke up the next morning I was still feeling hollow for them and mulling over the story. Rest assured, I mean that in the best of ways. It's not often I find a fanfic that has me reeling so much afterwards, and ironically it's a Shakarian story where I'm not even sure I'd want them to end up together again (And this is coming from a hardcore Shakarian shipper btw!). The fact that this story left such an impression on me, and doesn't exactly have me routing for me favourite ME couple says much about the quality of your work You've written something quite special, special in a horribly agonisingly and painful rip-your-heart-out kind of way. Kudos my friend, kudos :)

Good grief where do I even begin? As much as it's easy to want to be mad at Garrus for moving on, how can you blame him for making that choice? I can hardly imagine the 5 years being easy for him. As Shakarian fans, we all want Garrus to have stayed loyal, to have kept waiting no matter what, there's no Shepard without Vakarian right? But 5 years is a long to time to keep watching the love of your life wither away in a hospital bed in post-war world, never knowing if they'll ever wake up, and knowing that each year that passes it is less likely they'll ever wake up... We'll never know what Garrus would actually do in that situation, I'd like to believe he would keep waiting for her, but who's to stay he wouldn't move on after awhile? Each is just as plausible, neither choice the right or wrong one. I can't blame him, but darn is it ever hard to come to terms with this situation. Everything about his choice feels so wrong, but at the same time I know it could happen, and I'm sure things like this have happened in real life. Time really changes everything...

And Shepard, poor poor Shepard, her situation is no less bitter and ever more heartbreaking. Waking up as a ghost of her former self, withered and frail, and five years behind everyone and everything you ever knew. Your friends have moved on, the love of your life has moved on, the world has moved on, and she's left feeling she has no purpose or place anymore. To Shepard, the war has just ended, but everyone else has had five years to deal with the trauma, and heal from the horrors in their own way. Shepard saved the galaxy and everyone alive owes her their life, there's no one more deserving of a happy ending than her, but instead everything she knew has slipped away. I guess being asleep for 5 years will do that, but it doesn't make it any less bitter. I've never felt more sorry for Shepard than I do in this story.

The funny thing about this story, is I think it puts us Shakarian fans on the spot, so to speak. It Forces us to come to terms with the fact that Garrus will most likely move on and eventually find someone else after Shepard's death in ME3 (assuming you didn't get the 'perfect' ending I suppose), despite there being "No Shepard without Vakarian". Though in cannon, there's not much room to dwell on Garrus moving on because Shepard is dead. Case closed. End of story. Why shouldn't he move on, heal, and find happiness elsewhere? But in this story, Shepard was in a coma for 5 years, and now us shippers have to witness Garrus having moved on in a world where Shepard is actually very much alive, and finally awake after 5 years. It's brutal, and it is actually more heart wrenching than if Shepard had died. Yes, you have actually made a story where Shepard and Garrus both surviving the war is more heartbreaking than Garrus losing Shepard at the end of ME3. I'm trying to wrap my mind around that still...

As for the story itself, I was very intrigued from the start. As soon as Shepard woke up though, and when Garrus wasn't the first one to come see her, and how everyone kinda kept avoiding the topic, I was pretty sure I knew why. As a Shakarian fan, it's the kind of story that's hard to wrap your head around. I really feel for Shepard, the angst is strong with this one. I can't be mad at Garrus for moving on, and I'm not. Everything about this story is really sad and depressing, but I'm not mad at Garrus for finding someone else... Anyone might have done the same, maybe even Shepard if their roles were reversed. It was hard reading their reunion when you know that for Shepard it feels like just yesterday that they were embracing and saying goodbye, how they'd meet each other at the bar, "No Shepard without Vakarian" and all that. For her feels like it's right where they left off, but for Garrus it's been 5 years. 5 long years... The thing with Garrus and Shepard's relationship, is that it was one forged in fire. They've been through hell and back thrice times over. I do believe they were the loves of each other's lives, but unfortunately their time together as an actual couple was a short lived one. They had perhaps, maybe a solid year of being in love and fully committed to one another before Shepard died (or in this case fell into a coma), perhaps not even. Despite having such a strong bond, it's not like they were committed to each other for years and years prior. If they had been married for 5 or more years before Shepard fell into the coma, I'd be a little peeved at Garrus for moving on, but they never had a chance to build that sort of long haul commitment. I'm sure Garrus will never love anyone like he loved Shepard, but the fact remains that their time together was short. Garrus had already lost Shepard once, and he probably felt as though he was losing her again. Uhg... I could go on and one about the feels and pulled heartstrings. All in all you've put these beloved characters in a really terrible place, but it feels realistic, and that's what makes it so hard to read T_T

OK, spiel is over. You've written one heck of a story, and though I wouldn't consider it one of my favourite Shakarian fics, I've never read one that made me feel quite like this. I'll be remembering this one for sure.

Thanks for sharing your creativity with us, and I wish you the best in whatever endeavours you find yourself on, writing or otherwise. I'd be very curious to see how this story ends if you do end up finishing it.

Nooooooooo! Please tell me you haven't abandoned this story...the angst is too much, and i love it. I can only hope that maybe one day you'll come back to this.

I already wrote a review on chapter 15, but here's to hoping that the prisoner merc in chapter 15 is Zaeed. :)

This is the story that made me sign up for . Amazing story and OCs. Hopefully it has not been completely abandoned, it would be a great shame to never know the ending.

I've reread this fic so many times. I can only hope the author will one day pick it back up. Absolutely fantastic.

Plz plz updated. this is the best fic I ever read!

Update please. There needs to be more!

Oooo this really WASN't the best moment to stop updating :((( such an amazing story. I think there is no hope for update but it would be great