I always liked this story. Wish you had kept your promise and finished it.

Absoloutely love this story. Any chance of you updating it in the future?

This story has been absolutely spectacular. I only hope that at some point in time you may be inspired to complete it, as you have not done for some time.

It looks like you haven't been around in two years, but I'm going to submit this review under the assumption that it's still relevant.

I'll start with the technical:

My first thought towards critique is that you're not using commas well, creating run-on sentences and fragments. There are about fifty commas missing in action that really need to be there, else the fic is left with mangled, drawn-out thoughts. The most hilarious moment of bad grammar had to be the sentence that started, "Dagger looked thoughtful as she rode Zidane..."

As a princess, Garnet is "Your Highness," which needs to be capitalized. Queens and kings are "Your Majesty."

You keep using "quiet" and "quite" incorrectly. The former means silence, the latter is the adverb.

Over the course of the story the prophecy changes from five thousand years to three thousand, and then back to five thousand.

Now, the rest:

You do a fantastic, beautiful job at description, painting a city and people so elegant and natural, yet somehow primal, that I want to live in Terra. However, this eloquence leaks into your dialogue, making it sound stuffy and sometimes corny. Garnet's recounting of her dream comes off as absurdly purple, like she's reading it out of a novel. Try not to make all your characters sound like your narration; it takes the natural edge off them. When one of the demons said, "The first wave was consumed by fire that burst forth from the ground beneath our feet," I rolled my eyes. This is a DEMON talking-not everyone is a bard.

Back to descriptions-as good as they are, I concur with the Sly Eagle that this fic reuses a lot of them. "Soft steel muscles," things "thick as a man" and things "killed with a thought" are repeated often when they need be mentioned only once. There are also a few instances of redundant wording ("Beatrix, serene as a cobra was serene").

Last thing...

Don't be pesterin' for reviews. Let your story speak for itself, and reviews will come of their own accord. Nobody owes it to you, or your fic. I honestly skipped over the rest of your author's notes once I hit the one with, "I must say that I am disappointed with the response to my last chapter." You don't know how many authors out here are lucky to receive five for their entire fic, speaking nothing for each chapter. Whatever your reasons for writing, no need to sound like an attention-grubbing arse while you're at it.

On the same note, don't let suckers pester you about updating. You run your own show, here, and there's no need to feel pressured. All good things come in time.

As far as AUs go, I like this one's premise. If it seems like I'm picking on the fic, it's because I really like the concept and, despite all my crits, it's still a pretty well-written story, balancing a lot of fluff, action and magic-tossing.

Anyway, I could say more but I don't even know if this'll reach you. If you'd like to chat with me about your fic feel free to drop me an e-mail at

you! update already! this is an amazing story! your first story! don't leave this to be abandoned! it's been like this for like... 2 years? come on! please update, k? or at least leave a note that tells us you're still alive! (subtlety has never beenmy best point.) i really liked this story... i mean, us FF9 gamers can't let this story genre just die away!

Yours,

(And going sightly insane due to lack of FF9 fics)

Elven Dagger

*Muahz*

- GREAT~! write more...so sweet!

One word: UPDATE! This story is too fabulously well-written to leave unfinished! .

believe me, it made a difference. this is a really good story, the plot is great and the flow is wonderful. one thing, why couldn't Dagger summon the stone at first? and basically, she can just rip eiko's eidolons away from her, izzit? anyway, though this is a serious fic, some parts are coated with light humour ('specially eiko) is quina gonna come anytime soon? (not that i was that interested, just wanted to know) i care about Vivi! only Vivi!

Wow!

It's a very great fic!

What's gonna happened next!

Hurry! Write more!

-.-; i dun mean to be pushy here or anything but...may I plz inquire as to what the hell's takin' u? I really like ur story but it's getting tiring of seeing the same number of chapters and the same two last words: "Summoner, Summoner!"

That is all I wish to say today...

omg, this is such an excellent story! I have been looking for a good fanfic for FF IX, and most of them are far too short. I want to thank you for your marvelous contribution to this genre, and I hope you keep up your story! I know how hard it is with school, as I barely have time to write with all my homework.

~stormqueen

(review for chap.15) hey, great chapter! thanks for telling me you updated and please continue!

i have to admit, this is one of the best fanfictions i have ever had the pleasure of reading about final fantasy. the games have such great plots that they have many possibilities. this story is also one of the most well written storys i have read, but there was only one problem. balance. now with the genome army and the great summons (diablo? Atomos maby?) the 'aliance of the four' seems invincible. plus, there was no enphasise on brumancia or the dragon knights. also, there was no detail about the strength of kujas army but that might just be suspence. :) otherwise, this is a very well writeen story and one that deserves a place on my fav. list.

Ah. yummy plot development! So excellent now, we seem to be approaching the climax. Well, it was an interesting chapter indeed. I very much appreciate the longer chapter in exchange for time-though cheering 'Summoner! Summoner! Summoner!' seemed a bit much. Didn't think the Genomes would do that. ;

Well, continue! And try not to feel obligated to give us longer chapters because you are strained for time. We're all patient individuals. we'll survive with a simple chapter of medium or normal length. Remember that it is quality, not quantity, we want.

Ah, for one, what I read so far was great, and for two, you should take all of the time that you want for updating. Meh, I say that too much.

*grins* Anyway, I read only the first two paragraphs. I just realized that I need to update a few stories, and such, so I'm gunna do that. I'll be reading the rest of it later though, you can count on that. _