I give this a 4.5/5 just because it felt kind of rushed and the typos throughout the chapters, but if it's unavoidable then it's fine. now I'm ever more sad that Roxas got sacrificed! but he seems to be in better hands with Axel now, so I'm good hahaha. I still wish it was a little longer, not sure what else could be added, but I'll read the other sequels to find out. keep up the great work! I loved reading this! now I'm off to the rest of your fanfiction

Aw! That was smut-tastic! X3

what was the idea and what will need cleaning up? love the story.

good

Oooh, this is awesome! AkuRoku!

Great story plz write more. I love the little chats you have with the characters at the end. X-3

epic fail on your part

I like the plot of the story, but you could use mor details to fill the chapters since they seem a bit short. Also, you use the names a bunch of times which made the story a bit boring... If you are going to continue please tell what had happen to Sora since I am still confused at that part. -Turns On Yaoi Fangirl Mode- By the way, I would be more than happy to read more lemon parts! Hehe... Anyways I usually don't write such long comments so take my advice if you want to.

It was a good plot, but I feel like the story was too porely written. The names Axel and Roxas were used a little too much when there are other words that could have been used in place of that. (ex. The redheaded God, as the younger male bolted, etc.). There wasn't many spelling mistakes but there were some. Also, you mght want to reread your stories again before you post them to make sure that they can easily be understand. Lastly if your going to describ something don't describ one thing beautifuly and then the next not so much. It was a decent story and I love the Greek God feel of it all. It's just the story could be better if the time was taken to go back and rewrite it.

I'm liking it so far.
However, I do have a few choice words of advice. Try to add in what the character(s) is thinking. Don't just leave us hanging on that. They have to have something going through their minds. It makes it a little more realistic and helps us dive into the story better to clue us in to their thoughts. Though don't put everything out on the table-in other words, don't show us your hand in a poker game. It gives your story more suspense to leave us in the dark as to what's coming in later chapters. People like a little suspense- makes things interesting. Also, using similies, or metaphors, ecs., styles your writing, it's kind of like a watermark on a Devianart piece. (i.e. the spindly branches gripped his shirt as he ran past, like long, dead fingers.) It also makes your writing plenty interesting to read.
One last thing, when writing a chapter story, you never want to rush into things. (i.e. Don't make the characters have sex for the sole reason that you're impatient for the smut!) It makes your story kind of cheesy. Speaking of cheesy (Sorry, this time it really is the last thing) any sensible person would have fought Axel off way longer- most people wouldn't consent to rape. It's actually a rather good thing to ground your story a little- make it realistic. I don't mean in the sense that you should leave out the magic in a fantasy story- but make the characters' reactions more realistic. Anybody would have been surprised, at least a little, to see Axel in the doorway. Most people would have shown modesty at the fact that they're in an unfamiliar place, laying in an unfamiliar bed, dressed in only their underpants. And there are actually a lot of people who would protest to being told to call some random guy "master."
Yah, so I guess this is up to novel-like proportions, and you probably got annoyed with having to read my rant, but...eh, all's soothed with time. I hope to see more of this- and soon!

This was sooooo worth the wait im happy with it the lemon was hoooooot and good im excited to see next chapter till next time XD

oh that was so good cant wait for more see u soon :D

update soon! its really good and i want to know what happens next! :D

yay more im excited im all for the akuroku smut let axel have his way...uhh maybe a little to excited anyway till next chappie XD

I like it. You should continue this! :)