NOOO! 2012?! Ahh! PLEASE UPDATE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE!

I can't take the tension!

So cute.
Probably not the response you expected huh?
But it is. So cute and full of smut

Okay, per your A/N, I wouldn't exactly say this fic deteriorated in quality once you added more chapters to it, but the cliches did start popping up. For that reason, I'd say the fic after the second chapter felt a lot less fresh and fun to read than the original oneshot was. There were three fanon cliches that especially glared out at me.

If Naruto had an uncle (Jiraiya), then why would he need Iruka as a "father"? Couldn't his father have been...Minato? You know, the actual guy? Neither Kakashi nor Iruka were important to the fic, so I don't see why Naruto needed an adoptive father at all, other than it being a fanon cliche to do the whole mother hen Iruka/Kakashi the perverted boyfriend thing.

Another thing is, why did Naruto immediately start in on Sasuke being a bastard the second he saw him in this chapter? At that point, Sasuke hadn't done a thing. It was Jiraiya who'd hit his car, not the other way around. As a matter of fact, Sasuke gave Naruto a handjob, so if anything Naruto should have been treating him like his best friend. Fuck that Sasuke for giving Naruto sex. How dare he! :P

And finally, why did Sasuke even need to resort to, essentially, forcing Naruto to become his lover? Naruto was pretty darn willing before. Couldn't he just have asked Naruto out like a normal person? After the great time they had before, any sane person would have happily agreed. And this brings us to our third fanon cliche: Uchihas get what they want, or in Sasuke's words, "When I want something, I take it." There was no reason at all to turn Sasuke into this kind of character, except, of course, that it's a prevalent fanon characterization of him. (Perhaps the Sasuke version of leather pants!Draco.)

Okay, so in your second A/N, you called the first chapter "far-fetched," but I actually didn't think it was that bad. Naruto was so drunk that I didn't blame Sasuke for not clarifying who he was. Maybe in his inebriated state, Naruto would have gotten pissed off and thrown him out. So I don't think it was terrible for Sasuke not to say anything because it was really Jiraiya he wanted to speak to, and in the mean time, Sasuke probably figured he'd just humor the crazy drunk until Jiraiya got home. So, okay I could accept all that because it seemed reasonable enough, but Sasuke's actions in this chapter went way far into the spectrum of the unreasonable. I just couldn't buy it that (rich and sexy) Sasuke would be so desperate for *virginal* Naruto (how good could the sex have possibly been when Naruto was THAT drunk?) that he would resort to blackmail and spoiling Naruto's other chances for employment. Was Naruto's ass really worth whatever hardball tactics he used to get him blackballed? (It's not exactly smart corporate sense to go around possibly pissing off the other local businesses.) Are these the kind of corporate practices that got Sasuke to where he is today? So I think the whole Uchihas get what they want mentality really works to the detriment of the story.

Overall, I wouldn't say the second chapter was bad, just a let down in comparison to the first chapter, which was really quite fun and unique. For this second chapter, I think there were a lot of humorous ways you could have gone with a couple that met under such odd circumstances. It just perplexes me why you'd decide instead to go back over such familiar territory.

Lol Facebook XD see us Tumblr people are trustworthy... I just about died when sasuke said he wasn't here for the book !

omg how could i not notice that this is not completed yet. and when i reread this, i was like, wait why i felt like i never read this chap 3 and i was excited to find out that u're continuing this,
omg that's just amazing

Ahahahahahah sooooo funny!

Great work. I would love to see ur hands on a little felatio .lol. i love that ending. I do hope ur going to add more to it.

Wow... Just... I can't even imagine how he's is going to respond to that. THE GOVERNOR IS ASKING TOO MUCH! XD Please update soon!

Ahahaha poor Kono! Naru-chan only belongs to sasuke :3

Sandiclaws I do believe I love you

Thanks for the third chapter! This fic is really funny;) And hot of course!

This has been a fun read!
Sadly, this will be the last chapter. I enjoyed this too much I don't even know what to review on. The pedobear's joke is not really offended me (It was cute how Konohamaru acted towards his ANIKI)
I kinda like how you portrayed Sasuke here. It's refreshing )

really liked it, ive always been one of the people others decide to drop there kids off with actually kids juct love me and im not sure as someone employed to watch kids timeout doesnt ever work and the bratty kids who know more about what you cant do then what they should be doing are always missing a good beating(spanking if you will).kids always remember the things you dont want them to the most the wrestling and boyfriend thing will never be enough about my rant on kids really wonder how naruto will get away from the prostitution thing since he is gettingpaid for his... wait to see what happens next.

kai

in the end, sasuke did not answer naru question about their relationship...

more more:D

haha the way you wrote Sasuke is just too funny XD

update soon