Overall I think this is the strongest ocean girl fanfic season 5 I've read, and that includes my own aborted attempt. I wrote a single chapter under the name Jaycromer a long time ago. I want to offer some real feedback on the writing.

I love that you managed to capture Neri's unique voice. She sounds like she should, even when giving a speech. It's not an easy task to get that eamothetic yet willful character right. Great job. Also loved that she learned to read and write, a definite missed opportunity in the show.

Vanessa and Mick were the other highlights for me. Her snarky but caring attitude was spot on. I loved that Mick showed doubt in their relationship. A lot of this story was positive resolution, so it was nice to have some genuine and fair concern about a relationship show up. The shark attack also gave him another chance to shine as a changed character since we last saw him.

Neri as reluctant celebrity was a stroke of genius. This gave the whole story agreat new challenge for her to adapt to, while building her and Jason's relationship. You left behind the action adventure of season 3&4, and went back to small scale drama of season 1. Interesting and good choice.

Now for my criticism of the story. Winston was under used. He was such a big part of the show, and his unique view often helped others come to important realizations. He was so like Neri in that way. You wrote him well, but not enough.

Cass should have been written out from how little she was used, even less than Winston. Same for Sallyanne , Lena and the a number of the other old Orca kids. It was nice to read their names, but they did nothing to develop the main story or move characters along. A lot of their parts to play could have been folded into one of them to give a single character a bigger part.

The whole Ben storyline was interesting, but to short. It would have been great if the family came on earlier. Maybe the wife spends days on the pontoon, signalling her depression but going unnoticed by most. Ben slowly builds his obsession, rather than all at once. Making him slowly fall under his mental illness would have added to the tragedy of it.

Overall a strong story, just some constructive criticism from a fan of the work you did. It shows a lot of effort to wrote what would be nearly 250 pages as a novel. Well done.

wow, dianastorm! be proud, be very very proud. beautiful work! this chapter had a gorgeous opening, and the rest just unfurled with ease and fun. the sacred loveliness of the ceremony. the way you treated the parent's feelings as respectfully and lovingly as you did the excited, nervous newlyweds. the whole thing felt very special and reverent, as one family was having to let go so that another could make their dreams come true. i loved the little 'talk' and how neri was coming to understand her feelings for jason, that was so tender and honest -just right!
the epilogue was so sweet. there was a real sense of what jason and neri had made together, that they had taken a risk and had made it work. i loved jason feeling tinged with sadness at losing brett, it reminded me of the bittersweet feelings neri's parents had. i loved that insight, and i love your writing!
hope to read more from you soon!

Hey! Thanks for the update. It is really great. I really love your story! But noooooo, you just cant end it there. I didnt expect you to end the sory so quickly. The last two chapters were rushed a little bit and for me it kinda ended abruptly. Especially the Brett/Mera part was too quickly. Why is she realizing it now when she brings her fiance?
Still its a masterpiece and the best OG fanfic Iver ever read! I like the way you write and the characters are lovely and true how Jonathan have them portrayed. Maybe you have another stories to tell about OG. I would like to read more.:)

Please update soon! Your story is really really great. I hope you gonna finish it! :)

wow, this was cool, diana. you have such a cinematic mind, i could see it all so clearly. even though i have NO idea who any of these characters are i could follow it easily, pick up the tensions between characters, and have a laugh- 'i like to eat'
i loved the speech neri made, that was beautiful, you could tell she had been through a lot but wants to hold onto what's good in the world even though it would be easy to give into the bad. i thought it was really sweet too the way that this ceremony really mattered, even though they have clearly had far bigger adventures than this. i love that she's a princess but that she gets nervous like anyone else. i wonder why she kept her speech a secret? Who's winston? should jason be getting jealous or have i just embarrassed myself? ha ha! thanks so much, diana :o)

I love your extension of this series and can't wait to read more!

Good work as always! Keep it up!

When can I read chapter 33? I am so looking forward to it

Hmmm...I wonder who might be moving to the Opal Planet to help ease cultural prejudices? I think Brett would be great at that.

Hopefully there are many chapters to come :)

I am hoping that this story i am really enjoying will be updated soon and tjhen finished. I am also hoping that Mera and Brett get back together.

Hope you are doing fine. I like your story a lot. Hope you upload soooooon. I am dieing to see what will happen to Jason :)

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year so that we can have good stuff coming up for Ocean Girl ;)

Keep up the good work! Nice story :))

Glad Ben didn't lash out...although there wasn't much drama with it after all. Kind of anticlimactic.