I mean, the guy made some good points. Ron/Daphne is a tragic abomination of a pairing. Naturally, I'm a big fan of Harry/Fleur, but also Harry/Daphne. And Harry/Fleur/Daphne. So, I think she's too good for Ron, even when he's supposed to be a more interesting and competent guy that usual.

The story is a little dull because it's Fleur-centric and the bulk of the drama and action is, of course, surrounding Harry and his closest friends. The mama-drama is sort of interesting, but it also feels kind of unnecessary. I think the part I dislike the most is that her mother had drunken rages that resulted in Fleur breaking a limb, and another where she was tossed into a fucking fire. That's a bit much.

I also don't personally enjoy how, comparatively, Ron is much "cooler" and has been sort of implied to generally be better than Harry so far. There's been some (more recent) hints that Harry isn't as much of a loser in comparison as it previously seemed but not quite enough to shake the image of Ron suddenly somehow being more heroic and powerful than Harry. Harry needs some more of that Chosen One stank.

Though I don't especially like Ron, a competent and super loyal version of him is typically nicer than the alternative. I just prefer my primary protagonist to also be the primary bad ass, so I want Harry to be more impressive. Though, with Dumbledore around, the bar is set pretty high. If he isn't one of those retarded "bash fic" versions of Dumbledore, anyway. If I had my way, Dumbledore's level of knowledge and mastery would be the bare minimum I'd like to see Harry reach. Eventually. The knowledge might take longer than the war, but the talent with magic feels necessary, considering Harry's position in the story. He's the Chosen One. Voldemort's "equal". Essentially his generation's Dumbledore, as far as Dark Lord opponents go. He's just... way too plain and boring canonically.

The rest of the shit that guy said was hilarious though. I really enjoyed the "kill that fucker at least twice" bit. I mean, at least he's thorough. Did he compare Ron to Herakles, or am I reading too much into it?

Well I can't say I'm happy that fluer not returning but I always knew that it was a possibility. I found the sharing memories to be interesting. I would like to offer a bit of advice. Fleur and Harry are the End game you might want to add a bit more of these personal moments that they shared in this chapter.

Hey Scrubb you have a he'll of a tale going here .I'm so sorry with the ignorant trolls hounding you .Take it like water off a ducks as a greedy reader I have to say more please and Thank You

It's your prerogative to mock those reviews, but there's a grain of truth to them. While they weren't the most eloquent, those reviews do express a very valid point - Harry Potter is not a significant part of your story.

He's the object of discussion, and occasionally performs actions as part of a group, but other than Occlumency lessons, he's relegated to a tangential plot device to keep the story moving forward.

Others praise your slow developing relationship and not rushing. To me, this is simply because he doesn't have a role in this story - and it reads as such.

From this last chapter, it's possible that you realize this. But even this chapter feels extremely contrived and forced. You have them in an unrealistic situation, developing their relationship through physical proximity and looking at memories and the reason for this is because Harry Potter has had no other role than as a student of Occlumency.

It's not a crime to emphasize Ron & Hermione instead of killing them off in the first chapter. I actually really appreciate your characterization of them (even the "betrayal" which felt extremely obvious, I'm actually astonished you decided that none of the other characters would have guessed it). But you've over-emphasized them in such a way that 100k words into your story, Harry Potter is just a device to move the plot forward rather than a character in his own right.

Feel free to continue to disagree, even mock and shame me. I just feel it would be a pity if a story as good as this continued with such a problematic issue (in my opinion)

This last chapter was, by far, the best chapter of this story so far. Maybe because it focused on only one or two storylines, the most interesting ones, which is the slowburn Harry/Fleur pairing and the stuff with Umbridge.

I read the whole story for the first time today and I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I have to say that there were also a few times I came close to quitting. Most notably in chapter 9. I really felt that you completely jumped the shark there with having Ron somehow trick Voldemort into getting taken to a ministry ball with a portkey. It's just completely unrealistic and seems to have been way too easy to pull off. It completely took me out of the story. The fact that even after that the ministry still didn't believe Voldemort had returned is even more silly.

I decided to keep reading though because there's also a whole lot of great stuff in this fic. The originality of a Fleur POV for instance, how you got her in Hogwarts, the slow burn relationship with Harry, the clashes with Umbridge, Minerva's characterisation, all the Order stuff. It's all really great. Fantastic even.

It's just a shame that those brilliant parts are too often not the focus of the story. Instead there's a storyline of Ron who suddenly changed that just kept dragging on and on without anything interesting happening. Maybe because we only see him from Fleur's POV? I love Ron most of the time, and I'm glad there's no bashing here, but he's pretty much a completely different character from canon out of nowhere. Way too competent way too fast, and in a relationship with a Slytherin he barely interacted with. It's jarring. And despite how super competent he is he still became an alcoholic because he thinks he's not good enough? A really weird change from the Ron we all know and love.

My advice would honestly be to just shove that Ron storyline way to the background, or resolve it soon. Cause at least in my opinion it's by far the least interesting part of this story and it has really overstayed its welcome.

Another thing you might want to consider is giving some of your good guys some more bite (here or in future stories). Some are a bit toothless for the most part, making some scenes (especially in the earlier chapters) too cheesy. What I mean by that is that characters don't have many clear personality flaws. The first thing Fleur does is apologise for being a bitch last year, and we get an explanation of why she was so much different in GoF compared to your portrayal. Septima is a Slytherin who's actually a half-blood and hates everything about modern Slytherin. Daphne is a Slytherin who's constantly going against Malfoy and is in love with Ron and gets along with everyone. I could go on.

Probably the most loved character from the books is Snape because he's such a flawed and relatively complex character. He's an asshole who still does the right thing. Mostly. It wouldn't hurt to make Fleur a bit more haughty or bitchy. For Septima to have a bit more house pride. Or for Daphne to have some pureblood ideas. They can still all be good guys but it would make them more interesting characters.

Like I said though, this last chapter was really great and I can't wait to read where the plotlines of this chapter are going. So keep it up and good luck writing!

Many thanks for the creative gift!

I really really liked this fic. Flyers perspective is so interesting and I appreciate the slow burn so the Dr th and romance doesn't feel rushed or seem out of character.

I had no expectations when I decided to check this story out...but am so glad I did. Quite well done!

Thanks for the story...

Finally got around to reading this chapter. It was a good one, thank you as always.

Wow. I just read the flames at the end of chapter 12 and the ones by Sonia25. I find it funny that they are complaining about your writing when their reviews are barely readable.

not bad

Wow, that flamer was a complete moron. If I didn't like a story, I'm just going to stop reading it. So far, this one is still interesting

great story

I have put off reading this chapter for a few weeks. When I finally got to it, I had to read the entire story all over again. I hope that we will not need to wait another 21 months to read chapter 14.