UPDATE!

Your writing skills are superior

Wow! Impressive and in character too! I love how you wrote Obito's dialogue .

So who took Naruto, and Obito didn't save rin! If he could save her if she was real he wouldn't need tsukuyomi. Save the girl darn it you sick bone head Obito!

I'm finally sitting down and taking the time to review, something I've been putting off because honestly, I don't even know where to start. This is how Obito should have been envisioned in canon. What we've seen so far only alludes and hints at the astonishing depth of character that you've brought into being. You really are a spectacular writer.

1) Naruto finally stops being the goody-two-shoes that he is in canon and really gives in to his hate, with most devastating results. *Excellent...* (queue sinister overtones). This is the kind of writing that keeps Naruto interesting even in the aftermath of the terrible NaruHina pairing and his casting away of his inner darkness.

My one criticism is that you gave Naruto far too much inner thoughts and dialogue. Naruto isn't supposed to be this cogent, this mentally sound, if he's been brought to such depths of rage that he's somehow calling upon the Juubi (killing Kurama in the process), his mind should be a vastland of red, red, and red.

Naruto is thinking of Nagato in these critical moments. Excellent! More people should realize just how much Nagato's echo continues to shine upon the story. For some strange reason, he is too easily forgotten by the fandom.

Having Kurama die is this is just...god. I don't even know what to say. Having Obito be somehow disappointing that Naruto fell into rage was a fantastic touch.

Having the adult Rin standing around, acting as a presence in this titanic battle. Wow. The emotions that she awakens in Obito in his moments of despair after the Juubi overpowers him are amazing.

In the sentence before Obito says "I possess the Sage's eyes!"...does he activate the Rinnegan in *both* eyes here? Because if so, 1) It would be perfectly plausible. And 2) Wow.

"Rikudō no Jutsu – Ninigi!" The explanation for this technique...simply epic. Everything about the activation of this, the most powerful of all yin-yang releases, and the explanation for where you got the name...amazing.

Obito gaining the Chakra Mode is one of the more unique twists that I've ever seen in fanfiction. Just, again, wow.

Why *is* Rin looking at Obito in horror? Surely she's gained access to his memories, since she was, after all, spawned from his dreams? Actually, that's a given. She's truly horrified by the man that Obito has become, which is so very, very sad.

Having Obito allow Rin to die, *again*, for the sake of his ambitions is first-order writing. It goes to show just how dark that Obito has become.

While Kamui is collapsing, despite Rin's horror, she calls out to Obito in her time of need - and he abandons her. The imagery here is beyond description. I see now why you got so few reviews for this chapter - to criticize this kind of writing is unthinkable.

You've pretty much converted you into being your fanboy. Nice work, GoBF.

I don't even know where to begin...

I love this so much. All of it. Especially the characterization.

Obito's such a complex and interesting character, and you've really captured him so well in this, first and foremost. The amount of complexity and depth you've given him- along with other characters such as Naruto and Kakashi- is truly wonderful and of a quality you don't usually find in fanfiction.

And then there's the dialogue, which I love. It's so well done that I can... really feel the emotions in them, which is also something rare to find, and very enjoyable to read. And the balance between said dialogue and the action is well-balanced, too.

Anyway... I'm definitely going to be checking for updates, because I love this. :)

Naruto absorbs Juubi and Obito can still make him sweat?! This is bull, Juubi owns both Obito and Madara with 8 of it's tails tied back behind back. Juubi is progenitor of life, even Edo Madara is a pathetic wimp compared to it's power, let alone Obito.

Once again, beautifully written. I loved how you depicted Naruto's internal conflict over sparing Obito in the name of peace and killing Obito in the name of justice. Personally, I have wanted to see Naruto's resolve waver like this in the manga...As you have Obito say, it's all fine and easy to talk about peace - the true test is whether or not Naruto can truly stick to these ideals in the face of his arch nemesis.

Obito's flashbacks of the Akatsuki were also really moving - I had always wondered what those in-between moments were like..How Itachi dealt with momentous guilt of having murdered his clan, how Nagato and Konan felt reanimating the corpse of his best friend...etc.

And the Obirin angst! So sad. But I do believe that the decision you made Obito make would have been won he would make in cannon. He treasures Rin, but he also knows better than to sacrifice everything he has fought so desperately for when he knows he has the power to bring her back later...How tragic that he must witness her death once more though...Anyways, can't wait to see what you have planned for the next chapter :)

I can definitely see this happening. He'll sacrifice everything - even Rin - for what he believes to be the greater good. It's what makes his character so interesting IMO. It's selfless, definitely, but it's also hard and cruel, it's like your other oneshot, how uchiha men hide their true selves.

"With the balance broken, both men fell through the air, white blocks rearing up on all sides. The riptide winds caught them and after narrowly avoided one of his own prisms in the twisting currents, Obito realised with horror that Kamui was on the verge of collapse."

Great, dynamic writing! I like how you describe the action here - the visuals were great :D

Keep up with the good work! :)

As always, I loved it!

It was interesting how you depicted Naruto giving into the rage and hatred of the Juubi, but I believed that you pulled it off very well, simply because you had Naruto believe that it was the "justice" that Obito deserved for all the pain he had caused. So, in that sense, I liked it.

Also, although it is very sad, having Obito choose not to save Rin is in character, or so I believe. He knows his goal, which is more permanent, and, although she had returned, she would have only gotten in the way.

Overall, very good job! I can't wait for the next chapter!

Did you just kill off Kakashi?! Dude that is just low man! Come on killing off Kakashi isn't helping anybody, and killing Bee too! Where is this story going?! You can't do this! WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?! XP

WOW! Your writing is so unbelievably eloquent and the fighting that you describe is so canon - I'm just amazed by every aspect of this story. In addition to portraying the fight scenes in such a realistic and vivid manner, you do an excellent job writing the perspectives of each character - you captured Kakashi's anguish, Naruto's determination, and Madara's haughtiness perfectly:) Finally, I loved the way you described Obito's spacial and time controls within the Kamui dimension.

Of course, my absolute favorite moment Rin occurred when Rin appeared before Obito in the Kamui realm. The way you write Obito's reaction to her image is heart-breaking:

"The sight of her standing there so real, that he could almost reach out and touch her, was so arresting, he temporarily forgot the blonde fool he had been battling and fixed his gaze on his treasure. Rin was like a delicate spring flower, plucked before her time."

"She will be in the world I will create. She is too pure for this one… He thought as he performed the hand seal that would erase her presence from this tortured existence once more."

There are so many wonderful things about this story that I could go on and on about...Regardless, I cannot wait to see what you have in store for the next chapter! Keep up the great work:)

Awesome as always please continue.

Interesting work. You pull off Kakashi perfectly. As others have commented, he's such a tragic figure, losing one precious person after another, continually ruining his ability to form new connections. A man his age in the ninja world ought to be married - something I just don't see him doing.

What's up with Gai? You seem to still have something planned with him.

I honestly doubted that you were going to update this story, because it's hard to reconcile with canon. But, since you've updated, I'll assume that you've got more planned.

So, how is this going to continue? Giving Naruto control over the Juubi (meaning that the Juubi would be MUCH, MUCH more powerful than it is in canon manga at present), and then setting him against Madara is quite unfair for Madara and Obito.

I propose having Naruto go on an absolute rampage, meaning that Madara, Obito, and the Ninja Alliance have to uneasily ally to take Naruto down, to snap him back into his senses - after killing hundreds of thousands of people. This is the kind of incredibly ballsy divergence from canon that would become profoundly *interesting.*

Getting back to the chapter, I loved reading how an enraged Kakashi was capable of doing such dire damage to even Madara. I also liked having him call Naruto out on his idiocy.

Your Madara isn't...complicated enough. I'm currently working on the immense chapter four to my own story, which we discussed via PM a few weeks ago. Writing Madara is difficult, to equally portray his battle-lust, and the almost Shakespearan-scale personal suffering that led him to walk the path of implementing peace through force. I'm portraying Madara as being capable of the blackest possible evil, yet has genuinely noble intentions. For you, Madara's desire for peace is an afterthought, whereas for me, it's his primary motivation - yet it badly conflicts with his enjoyment of battle.

Geez, where to start?

Epic battles, genjutsu-high-level-phantom lost loves, Kakashi and Obito's love for Rin, Madara bored as hell but freaking out when the juubi loses control? I don't even know where to begin. Let me just babble incoherently about everything I love about this so far!

I love Naruto's point of view in the second chapter. The way you write him - all energy and brightness and determination, and here comes Obito, the older, jaded version, corrupted and just as determined. Wow. Really brilliant characterization all around. And this?

"For you, I will erase the past. For you, I will remake the world and nothing will stand in my way!"

Gave me CHILLS. Oh wow. I love how you described Rin, too. How her baby softness rounded into adulthood. There's so much longing in this, and I *loved* how Obito chided himself on the childish indulgence.

Naruto's hearts and minds speech made me laugh :) And Obito calling him out on his naiive optimism made me grin harder :D

I love your characterization of Madara. Totally missing the point (lol), but he is just so awesome in this. I love just how *bored* he is, like he's tried conquering the world a million times, and this is all rote to him.

"Madara was not entirely unkind. No one could exult in the current cycle of perpetual suffering and he had no interest in continuing it in the next world by punishing the weak. However he would take great pleasure in exacting his vengeance on those who had so rudely thwarted him in the past..."

This. This 10,000 times over :D

Kakashi struggling in the face of everything going on around him was just heartbreaking :( I mean, Kakashi really is such a tragic figure, and it's something you bring home quite well here. He's lost his father to suicide, seen his best friend - his whole reason for becoming the man he is - turn evil. He's seen his sensei killed and he's killed his closest teammate, and now, his sweet bickering little team of Naruto-Sasuke-Sakura, who are eerily similar to Team Minato - have fractured under the same burdens. It's a wonder Kakashi hasn't broken under the weight of it all :(

See, there's a reason why I normally don't read WIPs...I can't stand cliffhangers, and often the authors just abandon the work, and then here I am, slavering and stalking their profiles, waiting for more :) Fantastic, wonderful, all the kudos in the world! I hope you update soon :)