In my opinion, which I respect, the story has a lot of promise, the story-line is obviously thought out well and this is clearly a very creative plot and I do enjoy seeing the whole story unfold very much. However there is definitely something lacking in the characters expression of emotions, leading to some moments that could have been beautiful if they had only a bit more emotion instead they fell flat and left me rather unsatisfied.

I'll explain two places in which your story has disappointed me so that you can see what I think is wrong with your writing.
1. GLaDOS does not react to chell's amnesia with any concern what so ever, I realize that she was trying to not worry chell but at the same time I had expected a huge over the top reaction from the usually unstable A.I. and so when she gave a rather robotic (no pun intended) and lifeless reaction, it was disappointing for me.
2. Chell is informed about a certain mass-murder involving neurotoxin and starts to run but then with only a few words from GLaDOS is convinced not only to stop running but also to sit and calm down immediately, I just expected a least some raised voices from chell after GLaDOS admits to mass murder. this really broke the suspension of disbelief for me as it was a completely unrealistic reaction.

One last complaint for you, well more a suggestion as it is just my personal feelings but GLaDOS in this story (in my opinion) is just a little bit too...sane. The psychotic A.I. from the games had some marvelously witty insults that left me gasping for air through my laughing, all of her lines dripped with sarcasm and malevolence but by the end of the games you forgave her for all this as you were given glimpses of what she had been through and how she saw the world. All of that made her a simply brilliant character an antagonist who you can relate to more than the main character. Your GLaDOS is different, almost domesticated, she doesn't have any paranoia (so far I've only read to page 3) or witty insults or quirky moments or really most of the things I've come to associate with GLaDOS. Of course this could be a intentional plot point but either way I hope shes more like the neurotic but lovable nutter in the future.

Besides from this I really do love this story, you really do have that mystery thing going for you. I find myself genuinely curious about what has happened and will happen next. Speaking of which, I'm going to get back to reading the rest of this.
Best of luck
Daniel

This is a great story so far. It's a shame it hasn't been updated in a while...

I just read your 4 chapters and I really like your story so far ... and if this is just a prologue, it's a good news because it means a really long story for us to enjoy !
(The only thing that wonder me is the fact that Chell never asks who she was when she meet Tori... I think it will be my first question if I lose my memories like her and if I'm called "legendary")

Well, I recall reading and reviewing your other stories and being astounded with their length. In your reply you jokingly mentioned that I should in turn read this story. So naturally I threw it the queue for me to eventually read. Now, I believe I owe you one hell of a review. I must be honest that it took me a couple of tries to start up reading this story. The story starts up by throwing the reader into a strange and seemingly foreign world where the only thing that is still familiar is Chell's name. I must have tried reading that first chapter four times over the span of a month or two. Thankfully though, once the reader has gotten through that first layer, the story only goes up from there. So far, despite some personal reservations, I've loved this story. Yes, I think there are some minor issues which I will address, but overall this is something great being born. You are telling an actual story. A real plot that has an overarching destination, a journey for the reader to take. This already leaves a majority of the two bit fluff fictions behind in the dust. But alas, there are some flaws, and what good is a critic if one does not criticize. First off, I'd like to start with the length, which personally I enjoy but others may find daunting. Chapter three for example is a mild reader's nightmare. Most authors tend to cut their chapters in to manageable bits to save their sanity and provide a surplus of ready updates. Secondly, I'd like to address the incredible rate at which compelling characters are introduced. I'm sure you're setting up for interactions later on, but with an introduction that is 70,000 words long and some of those characters being absent since the beginning, you tend to miss them or wonder if they'll even appear again. Thirdly is the ever present and debated issue of Canon. Clearly this is an alternate universe that you definitely take some creative licence with. Still, there are conflicting canons with Half Life and Portal. Mostly being Valves fault since they're idea of a story date is "it's sometime after 1990" so aligning a timeline between the two is virtually impossible. Also conflicting is that during the combine's occupation of Earth there were no children due to some sciencey mumbo jumbo that prevented breeding. Don't take this as an attack on you, far from it. Creating a branch from a Canon universe is never easy and there are always people who will snipe at the little things. Anyways, I've rambled far to long. I love all of your stories and am glad to have managed to get to this one. Keep it up and keep writing.

in this fic glados is not chell "mother", right?

Whew! That took a while to finish (though I'm sure not nearly as long as it took to write, huh?) Well done! Very informative and so in-depth! I enjoyed every minute of it! I'm looking forward to its progression.

This is an extremely well written story. The details that you placed within your writing as well as the humour make it a very appreciable read. I think that one of the most appreciated peaces of the history was how you incorporated Gordon Freeman into it. However, I was hoping to see a little bit of Blue and Orange in the story. I think that adding them into your story, especially in there original forms would be immensly enjoyable.

Pardon my french...but holy shit.

Long chapters are good in my book...but this was too much at once.

While I did enjoy the explanations, I really think a lot of it was explanation, and by that, I mean them saying "but you already knew that cause I told you."

And really, that's all it was. There very little, if any, plot advancement

So, I guess, I liked it, but found it aakin to nothing more than backstory, which, while good, isn't such all at once in an over30,000 word pavkage.

I'm afraid the chapter is too long to give a coherent review. All I can say is... Wow. While probably the longest chapter I've read on here, (I find it unlikely you will ever do that again (it will probably break my brain if you do)) I do read a Doctor Who story that has everything chapter averaging 25k words. So... You still broke me.

The one thing I am caugh up on is he fact that they aren't user laser/plasma guns or whatnot. You'd thing that by this point in the Future weapons that involves Combine tech and GLaDOS' advances would definitely be laser guns. So I'm not sure if the do have them and Chell just prefers guns that fire bullets, or maybe you just didn't consider that.

Bye.

Are we going to see GLaDOS in her main chassis in this story? I hope so.

This looks really good and hope to see more soon. And is there going to be a ChellDOS romance aspect. If there is, I don't think it should be too prominent as I feel it would take away from the plot.

I feel that GLaDOS's dialogue was too human, not precise and perfectly phrased as it should be. Alright. Bye

...

Awesome story! Great fun reading, can't wait for next chapter. I loved it!

I can definitely see some comparison in terms of writing styles between this story and CTI. Just an observation, nothing more nor less.

Interesting concept with an intriguing opening. I'll definitely be checking out more chapters once they get updated.

Wow, this was good! I really liked how you started it off, it grabbed my attention right away. I also like that you've given us so much information about the story's setting right away. Hmm, I wonder who this 'enemy' Chell was fighting was-not the Combine, and yet I get the feeling that the technology may be similar... To be honest, there's a whole bunch of things I'm curious about, definitely going to be checking back when you next update!

As for your writing, there weren't any errors that I really noticed or anything like that except for once, 'quite' instead of 'quiet' if I remember, in the beginning. Your descriptions are very good and the dialogue flows and is interesting, and as for the OC, I thought it was a neat idea! You kept her feeling advanced enough to successfully mimic a human but yet she still appears to be bound by at least what others tell her to do without questioning/knowing exactly why.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this so far :) thanks for writing it!