good job

good job

thank you.

Oh family. it's so important

This was an amazing story. My heart goes out to Hohenheim, who finally formed a connection to his son, only to have to sever it in a violent and painful way, all in the name of love.

This hellscape you have created brings forth a very dreamlike/ nightmare-esque quality to the story. The strengthening protective emotions Hohenheim feels toward Ed is making me excited to read more.

This was fan-freaking-tactic! Loved the characters, especially Hohenheim and Mustang in this one. The flashbacks were so bittersweet. There were times I was reading this in public and I had to try not to cry. Anyway, off to favorite this and see what other stories you have now.

Oh Mirage,
I’m ripped asunder with joy.

This beautiful relationship developing between Ed and Hoenheim as left me filled up with loss...loss of the healing that was taking place. It wasn’t lost and both Ed and Hoenheim are changed even as they continue in their own dimensions. But not together...

Germany seems right. The attitudes and emerging world understanding of the time is the benchmark of our history in this Germany we know, as well.

While Graham is a good doctor, he certainly is vindictive. I can't say that I blame his frequent references to Ed needing a firmer hand, because I think Ed does, too, but his blood letting of Ed and administering an injection to Ed in public...was passive-aggressive in face of his limited rights of correction. Just so awful.

The genuine love that emerged between father and son...here is redemption.

I’m deeply moved and grateful.

~LW

Mirage,

I enjoy Hoenheim’s flashbacks to Trisha, Ed and Alphonse. Our memories are constantly layering over our life like dust on the windowsill. I like this very much. With Ed’s statement he had become Alphonse’s father, this cutting remark seems to have sewn up a forced understanding of Hoenheim’s desire to protect Ed.

Ed’s nightmares are upsetting. So now is the fourth day. What will now? I’m concerned that Hoenheim is giving up his life to protect Ed. Noble and sad.

~LW

Mirage, such intensity and fear. German Havoc nearly raped Ed. I’m surprised Ed wasn’t shaking and stemming from the invasive shock. It was a relief when Hoenheim finally intervened. I hadn’t realizedI’d been holding my breath as I was reading through this scene untilI finalllynoticed the pain of my clenched chest. Your writing, of a factionalized event, caused a true event. Very powerful writing. I’m still wound up with fear and adrenaline as if I truly was there for this violent encounter. So relieved it’s over, Ed is alive, and Hoenheim is taking charge.

~LW

This is so heavy and dark. The gate is evil...and this makes an outstanding storyline. It’s interesting how in the manga and the anime, the gate is dark but not evil; the gate requires self knowledge and insight.

It’s deeply disturbing, the imagery of human artifacts in the absence of humans. Mirage, your dark corners are unsettling, frightful and amazing in the extreme.

I love Hoenheim’s developing parental feelings. And the flashbacks you insert, Hoenheim tried to be a good parent before he left. By these memories he was...at least a little.

BTW... your vocabulary is superb. I’ve learned a few new words. Your unusual application of adjectives, in unorthodox use, is rich. I adore how you do this. And to think, you claim not to be a published author. Tisk, tisk...what a waste. Such writing just for us. I feel very special.

~LW

I guess

How the heck did German Havoc find Ed and Hohenheim? That would freak me out. So satisfying to see Ed deck him in the face with his automail arm. Good, stay down.

The long drive and the entrance to this other world through as all hole, is so surreal. I’ve seen pictures of serious covers start their decent into a cave system from a tiny, 1.5 ft diameter hole in the earth...and your description here is so similar.

The growing relationship between Ed and Hoenheim sounds authentic in that building-with-stones sort of way. Ed asking Hoenheim why he puts up with him, was so raw and tender; so mending. I loved it even as my heart was sore for Ed’s abandoned young self fearing more pain. You write from such an informed emotional place.

So here’s your well-earned review. Hope to hear from you when you re-emerge back into this world. Lol.

Warmly and with growing affection,

~LW

Air travel in a derigible. What fun...and with Ammaretto coffee no less. Your description sounds so authentic. Your sources must have been first-person accounts.

German Havoc is terrifying! Trying to rape Ed, oh god! And a thief! Yes, German Havoc is insane and a baaaaad person.

Since Hohenheim pocketed the dropped letter opener, I wonder when we will see this again.

I notice the many references to spanking, strapping or physically chastising Ed in all of your stores. In “Another Run of Events”, this is the only one I have read so far that he is punished in this matter... turns out by Envy.
It’s interesting you insert talk of it frequently.

Never disappointed by your work.

~LW

Oh god, you rip my heart out. I’m in tears for Ed’s loss of Roy and Hohenheim’s longing for Trisha,

I had something more mundane, but sort of like this, happen when I was young. I don’t know who she was to him, but a man mistook me for being someone he knew well and missed. He immediately corrected himself, but the look he gave me was haunting and so sad.

I’ve never forgotten this.

You stir up all these things.

For a convalescing person to suddenly have their world cracked open and showered with light, bustling lie, and novelty, Germany is thrilling! Oh, but the tradgedy of mistaken identity for a loved one.

Graham was horrible. I can see his point of view, Ed was horrendous in his behavior, but to publicly administer an injection?! Apparently punishment of Ed’s behind in one fashion or another. Geez! I sincerely can’t believe Hoenheim not only allowed that, but participated in that. Yeah, Ed needed to calm down, but that was just, so, humiliating. Augh!

I don’t know how Ed’s going to recover from that.

Mirage, you enjoy your torture of Ed...obviously, but it’s hard to watch sometimes. But, I suppose, in comparison to “Foolish for You”, this is not like getting your junk nearby cut off. That was torture.

Lol...but I just keep reading as your write “ torture” so well.

~LW