can't wait for the day when kate finally gets to know why meredith's and rick's marriage really ended.
this was beatiful, by the way.

Love the fact that they can have this conversation. I don't think it is unrealistic for something similar could occur on the show. It would help the forward momentum of the relationship. I liked the idea behind the "murder" board; unique.

Oh, I can so see his face in my mind as he opens the shutters to reveal her "murder board" on him. His expression a mixture of shock, surprise, confusion and speechlessness. What to think when what used to be there is what dragged her down into the rabbit hole?
I also thought it was funny how he didn't want to be barefoot in her apartment. He's such a bubble wrapped boy sometimes. Lol! But of course he didn't mind putting her bare bottom on the countertop as they, yeah, you know.
Anyway, back to the story... I kinda liked that she did this timeline. Sure, she could have just asked. But seeing it all there, the story of them and how they came to be together must have some merits too right? I mean, she's not that insane.
It's fun to see them in a sense switch roles in this. He becomes the observed and she the observer. She may not have been doing it as consciously or as obviously as him at the time, but she does know plenty. So many intimate details she would have picked up about him along the 4 years of knowing him. She's a detective for goodness sake. Even when she's not trying she'll pick up some tidbit of him.
Hearing her call herself his girlfriend was heart warming. Every time I hear they referred to as boyfriend/girlfriend on the show, I giggle a little inside. Because they are so much more than that, and yet, that is what they are. Still early in their time of being together, but having been together for so many years prior. They are undefinable, but that's what makes their relationship so great and unique.
I love how he cuts her off as soon as she says "Meredith said -". Like it instantly clicks in his head that it all makes sense now. How this has stemmed from Meredith's craziness. Lol! My favourite line was "a grain of crazy salt". Oh my gosh, I laughed so much at that line!
And so what if there's still some mystery between them? That's what keeps them interesting. You said it - that she can still be a mystery to him even after four years. But it's so great that this conversation even happened. That she felt safe in asking, because that is how they are going to develop a stronger relationship.
And the end, how he says that when it really comes down to it, she already knows him, just perfect.
I love how you've tied in Probable Cause into this post-ep fic.
I live your writing - it keeps me sane, if that's even ok to say about someone reading fic! Seriously, love your words, your story telling and your dedication. Thank you xx

Nawww! I loved this! So so so very true that she maay not know everything there is to know abuot Richard Castle, but she knows the important stuff. How he feels about her for starters. And of course, what kind of a man he is.

Love the idea of Kate "murder boarding" Castle!

I just LOVED this! It is just totally my take too on Caskett. " I think Castle is much more of an open book. Because of the life he's lived. Are there insecurities about his marriages and father? Yeah, probably. But I feel like all she would really ever have to do is just ask him.

"You know, I don't have little drawers of stick men and private stuff, Kate."

Hope this made some kind of sense :) ...great fic as always!

Lovely!

I love that you chose that song, and what it says. Kind of a point that Beckett made before, didn't she? When Castle was all "what's your number" and she said he didn't really want to know. I understood her need to know in the episode, because I'm super curious myself and I would have been DYING in her place, but I love where you chose to take this. It's awesome :).

It's her junk drawer, and while he knew it was the junk drawer and in theory a spatula would never be in a junk drawer, he was just pulling out all the drawers in his search with the hopes of stumbling upon it miraculously so he can make her pancakes.

I just - love those two opening lines. They're hilarious, and very much Castle.

He didn't know her place was being fumigated for rodents, he pointed out.

I can HEAR his voice here. And see his face. Sooo good.

And I love how you show his reaction to the index cards:

There's-

He found-

This is-

Yeah. Such clever writing. I'll never get tired of it.

And then thisss:

His life spread out like a murder board.

Haha, oh Beckett. of COURSE she would do that, huh? The best way she knows of testing her knowledge of him - drawing a timeline of his life. I think it's adorable, actually. It shows how insecure she still is, how much Meredith's words have gotten to her, and yet - there's something so very Beckett about it. Perfect.

Why does she feel the need to semi-stalk him-

and YES. Okay. He hears the irony inherent in that mental statement. But she's right. It's weird.

LOL I love, love the way you wrote that. Him. It's delicious.

AND THEN THIS:

her face clears so suddenly and so quickly that it's like instant understanding has dropped over her, and then he's ashamed and embarrassed because she looks almost mortified.

they are SO CUTE. So cute. Ohhh Beckett and Castle all embarrassed together. I would pay MONEY to see this scene on the show, seriously. I would.

and ohhhh this:

Her face flushes, that pretty pink tinge to her cheeks and her throat that he's seen only in one other circumstance - under him - and yet, it's not at all the same. But it is.

It's intimacy.

I LOVE THAT. So much. So much. I can't even explain, can't put it in words, but. ung. So much love.

"Am I. . .going to die soon, Kate? You figuring out your best time frame?"

and HA, awesome line too. Made me laugh just like Beckett :).

(Nikki, oh, yes, it's strange to see her hand write Nikki Heat's name)

That parenthesis somehow really got to me, how strange indeed it would be to him - seeing the name of his creation written in the hand of the woman who inspired it. Mmm, love it.

"My excuse? I'm. . .your girlfriend?"

FJKERGLZEKGFKJFNMEUNRFJDJFGH UI THE FEELS LAURA. THE FEELS.

Ah, yes, there it is. Sophia Turner. To his eternal shame. He won't and can't regret Clara Strike, especially because Kate told him once that Strike was kind of her hero at one point (mushiness ensued after that confession), but he does regret ever baring any part of himself to that woman. Traitor, sleeper spy, whatever she was.

I LOVE that Strike was Beckett's hero. Because I feel exactly the same. And I love that Castle can't regret Clara Strike because of that, but that he does regret whatever he had with Sophia.

and this bit of dialogue-

"Meredith said-"

"Oh jeez," he groans. "Are you serious? No. Come on, Kate."

His reaction is just so perfect.

"You didn't like her answer?" he asks, because now he's curious. Meredith's never been spiteful or mean-spirited, so he can't imagine.

Also that line is, again, strikingly accurate. I'm impressed at how well you get Meredith, really.

"She's crazy. Remember that? Kate, she's crazy. Crazy fun, crazy silly, crazy crazy. And yeah, having dinner and a couple hours out when you're both on your best behavior is the crazy fun part. But the rest of it? Not fun. Why do you think Alexis did her best to kick her out?"

Yeah. Just. Wow. I really do feel like your post-ep made me realize a lot of things, see them more clearly, and I'm so happy for it.

"It's true. She is. And you can't ever trust a crazy person. They are never there for you, they don't show up to their own daughter's first day of kindergarten, nor her last day of high school."

And now it's getting a little melancholy and bitter, so he cuts it off at that, shakes his head at Kate.

AWW CASTLE. Really, the more I read this, the more I love it. The more I think you were right. He wouldn't want to look pathetic to Kate, because he cares so much about what she thinks of him, and part of what he loves about her is her strength, the way she soldiers through things. As much as he likes to complain about things like his daughter leaving him, something so hurtful as Meredith cheating on him - maybe it's better left in the past. Buried.

"I like that you joke about it," she says suddenly. "Even if that's not really an answer, it's. . .I needed to laugh. You make things a lot less grim."

I LIKE THAT HE JOKES ABOUT IT TOO. And I think - I think that makes all the difference with Meredith, too. That Kate is able to see the good in his deflections, see how it helps. :)

He grins down at her, leans in to press a kiss to her careful and considering mouth. She hums and makes that satisfied little noise that he loves, adores, and then she pulls back to look at him.

GJEKIHLGQTGISDKJGEMGJSMGKHRJ HK BEAUTIFULLLLLL

AND I LOVE THAT YOU BROUGHT UP THE LOOK. So perfectttt.

"Listen," he murmurs, stroking his hand up to her cheek, brushing her hair back. "I didn't know what to think. The worst part was wondering if maybe you thought. . .maybe. . .but you didn't, Kate. You believed me. You believed in me. You can't have that kind of conviction unless you know me."

AND THEN THIS I SWEAR I CAN'T EVEN. UNGNGNGNGNGNGNGN

AND THIS CONVERSATION.

You could interview me. Twenty questions. Oooh, no, I know. Truth or Dare!"

She laughs and arches an eyebrow. "You wish."

"Oh, I do. I really do. I fervently wish."

UNFFFFFFFFFF NO WORDSSSSSSS

and her following him arounddddddddd YES YES YES. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS.

(sorry about all the capital letters. couldn't be helped.)

Great take on that scene! Now - what about dad?

I like this take on things.

LOVED this! Thank you!

I wish this was the second part of the show. I love how you wrote this because this is where I see her going at the end of this episode. I just love that line: " You can't have that kind of conviction unless you know me." It just speaks about what they do know about each other and what they can still learn from each other.

Yay! Nathan and Castle won for PCA's!

Nice job

This is cute and I like that it doesn't take a dark turn, like I felt the end of the last episode made me feel. Like he was hiding from her...Meredith is crazy, even if she seems slightly more human now, lol. Like your take on the post-ep )

I liked this. Good story. I'm not sure why you chose to have Castle not tell Kate that Meredith cbeated though. It just seems to me that, down the road, if Kate ever fou d that information out some other way, she'd feel very slighted that Castle didn't confide that in ber during this conversation.