Yay can't wait to read it. And Aww not a problem

I'm new to the fanfic universe, so keep that in mind as you read my review. It should also be noted that I absolutely despise fanfiction in general (obviously many of you enjoy it, so I will keep it at that), so I am grading this story as though it was original (or at least somewhat original). It should also be noted that, as much as I abhor fanfiction, I unconditionally respect and am willing to honor ANY writer who puts his or her writing in a public place such as this. For your bravery and skill, author, I commend thee.

Overall, I'd give this short story 2/5 stars. It accomplishes the task at hand, but in the end it really isn't that exciting, even for its genre. Here are my reasons for this.

First of all, to those unfamiliar with the Young Justice or DC Universes (fortunately, I am) I can imagine this story would be like reading a hurricane of names and titles. The author frequently name drops without giving reference to who the characters are, or what they might look like or what their dispositions consist of. Even for someone familiar to the universe, there were names I couldn't even recognize. There were the obvious ones like Batman and Superman and Green Arrow who were given little "screen time" but are popular enough in today's culture to pass as just names, but even then I believe the author should give them some depth.

On this note, the author TELLS so much of his story that any effort to SHOW is readily eclipsed. The author does not leave enough for the reader to ponder, but rather depicts his/her scenes in such a shallow and straightforward manner that not only am I robbed of the aesthetic details that could be written there, but I am left dry with nothing to reflect upon for myself.

Which leads me to yet another problem - a lack of figurative language. I have a feeling that, if the author put his/her mind to it, he/she could create something not only action-packed but thrilling and depictive as well. As a reader, I'm looking for a movie or painting built by unique metaphors and clever uses of words for me to indulge in - writing is an art and should be treated as such. I have no doubt the author understands this, and I'm assuming that he/she became so consumed in the action and plot of it all that... well, sometimes these things can be looked over. Just a suggestion for next time around - use figurative language! There's a reason high school English teachers focus on it - once mastered, you don't just start writing– you make ART.

I'll keep my suggestions at that. Of course, the story lacks a sort of "aboutness" to it or deeper meaning, as the story keeps in mind strictly PLOT and ACTION (which I suppose is just plot), but I won't get into that. The BEST superhero stories (I'm referring to comic books here) are the ones that are not just about the plot. For example, in recent issues of Batman, the Dark Knight faces the Joker at possibly the expense of his life and his family's life (I don't know the ending- it hasn't come out yet). But this story isn't just about Batman facing Joker. There are HIGH STAKES here - his family's life. Then there's philosophy - Joker an evil bastard, we all know this, and Batman has incarcerated him hundreds. Yet, he's never killed him. What if killing the Joker is the only way out? Should Batman blame himself for all the deaths Joker has wrought upon the world? Does the life of an evil motherf***** mean less than the life of an average motherf*****?

Also, what about exploring Kid Flash's past, really making him an in-depth character? Is he in love? Does he have SECRET he's trying to keep from everyone (and if so, DON'T TELL US, because then the reader isn't surprised when it's revealed). What was his past like? But again, don't TELL US ALL THESE THINGS! SHOW US! Give him little idiosyncrasies. Maybe he's afraid of the color purple because his mother tried to smother him with a purple pillow when he was little and it scarred for life (but don't tell us outright! Allude to these sorts of things instead, so the reader is kept on the edge, always wondering). ALAS, this is the problem with Fanfic, though. I suppose changing the character's past and retconning things pisses a lot of fans off (but, hell, Dan Slott does it all the time with Spider-Man... he's a pro, why not do it yourself? Make your fanfictionized characters unique!).

The ending was predictable from the beginning. KF wins, becomes the hero, everyone lives happily ever after. What if Kid Flash LOST? What if he broke some ribs Artemis shoved her hand through his chest or something (Indiana Jones reference, sorry)? What if someone DIED? There just aren't high enough stakes, like I said before.

Sorry, I know I said that I would stop, but really, I'm stopping here with the suggestions. Now, PLEASE don't get me wrong, I AM NOT SAYING THIS STORY IS COMPLETE CRAP. Because it's not. For what it's trying to do, I'd give a 3.5/5 stars. I gave it a 2/5 because I'm viewing it from a non-fanfiction point of view. It's not perfect, by any means, but for a strictly plot based story it's not bad. But it's not great either. I think the author is incredibly honorable for putting his/her story onto the internet for people to see, but I think he/she could use a little work on embellishing things. Not just things here and there, but MAJOR things.

My compliments to the author in what endeavors he/she embarks upon.

RF

Sequel! Amazing! AU

Amazing AU story. U should totally do a sequel for this story. Can't wait to read it. !

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing love it yesss do a sequel awsome story :-)

You should do a sequel i would loove it, and for the superboy I think it would be nice from the beginning

This is so awsome iits the best pleaseee the sequel i have never read i story like this its perfection :-)

Love it :-)

And a sequel would be cool

Cool. Nice AU story.

That was awesome! Do a sequel please! I really love it!

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME! I'd love to see more about those two years or maybe have her make a place on the team and everything then have the shadows come back and figure it out. Like GA be super strict and not let her go on missions with shadows but maybe she has to go save Roy whose become her big brother and then she trades herself for the shadows for him and then ARROWFAM FEELS ASDFGHJKL!