I really liked this story

good idea

good writing ;)

okay

How incredibly unfortunate, I truly liked this story. On the other hand, you hadn't updated for a while and it's nice to get confirmation of the story's discontinuation.

I've never understood this behavior. What reason would someone who read this have to read anything else you write? If you can't finish this, what assurance do they have that you won't do this again in the future? If we look at things from a risk/reward viewpoint, it's not really worth it. Whatever.

Wow! I was really surprised you killed off Brom so suddenly. That felt a little forced, with the introduction of Blodhgarm and crew so soon before.
Another complaint I would have would be that you took LOTR Elvish names for the other Elves...a pet peeve of mine that seems pretty common in the Inheritance fandom. And it seems pretty suspect to me that Eragon has two dragons, and Thelduin has less of a develped personality than Saphira or Thorn. But I can understand the reason for Thelduin in this case.
What I liked about your work so far is actually Eragon's character, which I absolutely loathed in the books. He may or may not be a suspect Gary Stu, but I think you did a much better job on keeping him an "innocent" character who truly feels all the conflict of his life before, his losses, and the confusing life he has been forced into now. He is still a compassionate person, and his angst here is actually understandable and well-founded.
Likewise, I have kept up with this story for your characterization of Murtagh. You've done a great job of keeping him suitably mysterious, while his words and actions raise interest of the reader, as well as Eragon himself. I think you got a perfect balance of cold and caring; or protective yet extremely lonely and vulnerable. It kind of saddens me that Thorn does not have a greater role, and I'm surprised that he is not the one itching for freedom, but I do love your portayal of the Big Brother and his ideology, especially considering that all these characters are "younger" here.
Your scene with Eragon and Murtagh both before and after the fight was awesome. Before, I could feel all the tension and surprise, and it seemed so true to both characters. After, well, it was a bit heart-wrenching, considering that Eragon was finally talking about the people he loved, for the sake of someone else; and the mere fact that you wrote a character who is deeply hurt and will not explain why. Not only truer to the characters, but also to reality, I think.
That said, although you might want to look into the organization and cause/effect relationships of the plot itself, your characterization is excellent and I hope you continue to delve (or not delve) into our heroes' psyches.
Have a happy new year!

Very interesting story but it does seem to jump around a bit as you have added several new characters and elements into your story but haven't really added any details or back story for them.

Now to the really positive stuff really liking the Eragon and Murtagh interactions although I was hoping Eragon would be older before he was thrown into war. Allowed to of received a few years of training and study before being thrown into conflict plus being allowed to age a bit (I thought he was a bit young in the original and massively under prepared in the original story and in this he's even younger), as age and experience account for a lot (and realistically would be the only chance Eragon and Murtagh would have against the King, who people need to remember over threw the original order and had a century to increase his power and knowledge how is one very young Dragon and Rider suppose to over come that after only receiving a years worth of training and experience), granted Eragon would have to find away to get away from Galbatorix before he can go against him as well.

Really interested in the possibilities of Eragon being bonded to 2 Dragons and the massive amount of power he would have at his disposal if he was able to draw from both of them at once.

Until the next one.

Great chapter! Update soon!

Nice to see you updating again. I'm a bit confused to how the three men got there so fast, I know they travel really fast, but still. Also how did they get behind the Varden? Saphira and co were waiting to meet the elves so that would mean they waited behind and the Varden went forwards, but then the men would be in between. Liked Murtagh's scene, seemed exactly the type of thing he would do. Little bits of spelling errors, nothing a proof read wouldn't fix. Overall good job.

YES! You updated! I love this story so much and was afraid it was dead! The chapter itself was very nice and unexpectedly long. Keep up the great work!
Cedric the Saxon

i can't believe you killed Brom i really loved him, and i wished he would meet Eragon again.
however his dying thoughts were really touching and heart wrenching. In other words they were simply amazing.
can't wait to see what happens next. I wonder if Eragon is going to feel Saphira's pain ?

The story is very interesting and I can't wait to read more, though I must say it is a bit decieving- I really believed Amira was decapitated by the shade and thought that Cyra blew to bits when Damon became possessed... When they didn't I was kinda dissapointed :/

This progressed so much since I last read it! Are you thinking of continuing it? I really like the the storyline so far. . . it'd be real interesting what would happen when Thelduin and Saphira actually met.
Merry Christmas!

this is a GREAT story! I love it! I hope to see an updated of the next chapter! I csan't wait to read what is going to happen!