Y'know, when you say to someone, "You're a doll," you don't usually mean it literally... :D Get it? Great chapter!

Very dark beginning—has me horrified and worried. Oh, Raphael. Even though he still has two of his brothers with him, this is almost worse than being totally alone. My heart twists to think what has come of Donatello and Michelangelo.

I love how you tied it all together so we know why Leo stayed in South America for so long.

I think your ending was beautiful. At turns it was tragic, happy and deeply sad. Poor Leo he is the most tragic one of all. Despite what he had done, from the very start all of this was thrust upon him. He had no real choice in the matter and in the end he was left to endure the burden of his guilt and regrets for choices that he made in another life. He may have been given another chance but his soul is forever scarred and aged from what he had to go through.

I like how you gave us a glimpse into the lives of the other contractors, as well.

I'm really glad I gave your story a read. I enjoyed it very much.

Well, the scene wasn't lacking. Not at all. It was really sad, but there was just so much you could do in the limited time that Raph had left with Leo. There was too much to atone for in a short time.

Sometimes, when I have a big scene in mind that I'm building up to, I feel the same way once it's executed. I question everything. Did i portray the situation clear enough. Did I have the emotions the characters were going through realistic and layered enough? Will my readers 'see' the scene how I see it in my mind. Will it be poignant or cheesy? Powerful or flat? Yes, I completely understand.

I think you nailed all the above - where you may have felt constrained was that Leo and Raph really didn't have a chanve to reconnect more than a few brief words and a big physical fight before this tender, remorseful moment. I think you'd be happier with it if there had been more chances for each brother to interact before the death scenes. It's hard in action stories to make time for those moments as they tend to slow the rising action down quite a bit. But I believe that may be what you're feeling with this chapter.

Wow. Loved the torture scene. Nothing like threatening family members with horrific fates to get your captive riled up. Heh heh I love a well written torture scene, and you didn't disappoint. You had him try to be strong, but kept it realistic given the kind of pain he was enduring. I hope you update soon as i'm almost caught up!

Holy crap! Best chapter yet! I'm glad leo isn't dead. But he really may wish he was...so exciting and intense!

Oh no way! Don is really dead! I guess I was expecting Leo to protect him somehow ...woo boy.

Oh, I like the flashbacks, you handle them well! Ah, and leo's final descent into becoming the cold heartless monster he is now, wow. Great job. You could just see his innocence was destroyed in that moment. And you showed us that contractors CAN love, because Fauna loved him. Eee!

Oh so the plot indeed thickens! They only seem to have no emtions. Oh, Leonardo's love story unfolds and it's heartbreaking. I hooe you tell us what happens should you enter the Heaven's Gate. Is it a portal? A bridge between realities or states of being - in other words, truly a gate to Heaven or Hell? Can the process of becoming a contractor be reversed?

I'm very worried for Raphael.

Oh man, so now, I'm wondering if emotions do remain but much much less tangible and buried under the surface...but I'm not sure. That banter between the men and Leo was fantastic. Funny and sexy as hell.

Oh I. HATE what he did to Don. Call me a typical woman, but the notion of no human emotion infuriates me. As much as I love Spock, I am all for the passion of discovery, the thrill of exploration and the drive of love for the people you care about, enabling you to do anything to keep them safe, even sacrificing yourself if needed. To lose all that...it makes you so much LESS. Despite the argument in sci-fi that losing emotions would make you BETTER. I don't buy it. Maybe for certain things, yes, your mind would sharpen, but the cost is TOO great, imo.

Oh, you're getting me all fired up. A drawback to having emotions, I suppose, LOL as much as I admire vast intelligence and calm logic, give me Kirk's willfulness and passion, along with his compassion and empathy any day!

BOO to what happened to my Leo, er, Leonardo, heh heh, I hope this doesn't happen to Raph as he is a ball of emotional storming turmoil...he just wouldn't be the same...ugh, I'm usually so much more eloquent, maybe the coffee hasn't gotten through my system enough, yet. Or maybe my damn emotions are clouding my coherency, eh!? XD

So much happened in this chapter...I love the other contractors, I believe I mentioned that before, but they're just so freakin' cool! And varied. There is an anime feel to them that I like a lot - I'm a big fan of anime and read a lot of Manga.

But Leo! He's so changed...and so cold ...poor Mikey to be used like that - and yet, I could see him accepting being a 'Doll' if it meant helping Leo, I'm just guessing at how all this went down, and most likely he didn't have a choice in the matter...but for leo to just look at him with such disdain...after all Mikey's giving up to help him, I think it speaks volumes as to what has happened to Leo's mind and heart.

Raph is flabbergasted, but he has a right to be angry with Leo. Ugh, I could hear those graham crackers chomping and crunching - I dunno, there's just something so...so cold (that's not even the right word I want to use, dammit brain, work!) about him walking past Raph like that and just standing there munching away at graham crackers after all Raph's worry, sadness and day to day struggles...I'm just sitting here shaking my head like torn between feeling really bad for Leo and what he's become and wanting to pop him in the jaw.

Oh, I just loved this chapter so much - the fact that he knew it was april but was still attacking her speaks volumes to what has befallen my beloved Leo XD he is badass in this, that's for sure, but has he forsaken his soul!? And the ticking clock, I'm wondering what the hell that's all about. These other contractors are also so very very cool. Love their names, btw!

I really like how you tied in his nickname 'ghost of the jungle' with this idea of him being known as 'wraith' or 'shadow wraith' that was very, very clever. I never thought Splinter was right or fair for sending Leonardo off to the jungles by himself to train and I offer my own take on the situation in part 2 of The Tender Trap, heehee.

God, I can't stand poachers, there is so much wrong with that entire situation, it makes me sick.