Loved this, perfect buildup! don't tell my parents I liked this though!

LOL! That ending! OMG! You are so made of win girl! XD And extra special points for the spanking! (Ha ha as you likely can guess from my screen name it's definitely a plus! D)

Looking forward to reading more of your works :)

HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

I would like to start off with telling your beta she is a completely lazy POS. Second, I would also like to tell you that your ‘don’t like don’t read’ mantra can go right up your ass, because once you post your work in a public place, expect public comments.

You know, it really is something to see any sort of med student go off the deep end and fap to homosexuality; it’s like none of you know that that isn’t healthy, or are woefully ignorant. In any case, I believe it is time for someone to come along and give you the flames you deserve.

Your descriptions confuse me. Are they fighting in a forest, or the outskirts of the town? 30 feet really doesn’t sound THAT far away, but hey, I guess any number is good, right?

“A flat, unsmiling frown” – Frowns are already un-smiling. Useless term.

“Pitch was keenly aware that the Sandman was the only one of the Guardians that could send a shiver down his spine” – In the beginning you wrote that all of them unnerved him. Now you just say it’s the Sandman. I guess your beta didn’t catch this bit, eh? But wait. He clearly IS the threat because there’s going to be rape, right?

30 feet away from a house with a kid and his family sleeping isn’t really ‘alone’. Especially since they’re in the ‘middle of nowhere’ sounds will travel. So unless everyone is deaf of having a midnight rave, they should be able to hear everything. In fact, with the whole fight, the kid and his family should’ve bolted out of their house by now.

That would be the logical thing. Unfortunately, that is a foreign concept to you.

“His face hardened and congealed” - Contradictory terms. You don’t even use a dictionary, do you? A face hardened is already hardened; to suggest it is congealed suggest that it was made of liquid. So it went from hard to liquid and back to hard again...again, this is both you and your beta’s fault. A bunch of rape-lovers, you are.

“Smarting in pain” - What.

“He kicked him in the jaw” – He must have pretty good reflexes despite being bound by tentacles – er, ropes.

How big are these woods? Clearly in the big dark woods, Pitch has an advantage. You would think.

“Grim, furious scowl” – More contradictions. To be grim means to be filled with despair, and fury is another emotion altogether. So he’s sad-mad? Angry-upset? What is it?

Wow...rape with a rope. Looks like women will fap to anything. Of course, it’s that cliché were the villain is raped by another guy, because apparently that’s so hot or something. And let me guess...he eventually learns to like it, because he’s just asking for it, eh? What wonderful character development, to make the Sandman a disgusting rapist who takes advantage of people.

Oh, I’m sorry. That’s a rational person talking. But to someone like you, who clearly gets off to this crap, I have nothing but absolute scorn. You have zero dignity or humanity while writing this shit. I’m sorry this experience is something completely foreign to you, and that you have no idea how rape is, especially to a man.

Pitch has a wife, too. She must be proud to learn that her husband was raped by a man. I bet if we swapped the genders and this was a woman getting raped in obscene detail, you’d be crying to hell on high end for justice to happen. But hey, men are just a bunch of rapists anyway, so let them all be sodomized! It’s hot, after all! Is the Sandman doing this while on Pitch’s back? That sounds like an awkward position to rape him. Plus, wasn’t he already bound with the whips? How’d he run away? How’d Pitch lose his powers so easily?

If this was remotely IC, there’d be no rape, but since a woman wrote this, the shit is already apparent.

“He felt he was stretched enough to accommodate its girth” – This has to be one of the most overused sentences in the history of fag-literature. Honey, if you are sticking sand in your ass, or a whip handle with no lubrication, guess what’s going to happen? It’s going to tear the anus.

“Hating the tiny bloom of pleasure from the agony” – Bitch, what are you smoking? Anal rape isn’t pleasurable at all, especially when it involves a large object. This is yet another common trope in gay rape fantasies or just rape fantasies altogether: that the subject being involved secretly enjoys the rape/ that they asked for it. This is the greatest mistake you can ever make, and for that, you will be called out for the sick bitch that you are.

I’m sorry that you don’t understand that rape isn’t at all pleasurable and that male humiliation is worse than female humiliation. Of course, in this case, Pitch secretly likes it, or is it you that’s doing the talking?

“Manoeuvred over a bundle of nerves” – What nerves are these? What, is he rubbing against the prostate gland? The anus is not a vagina, my dear twat. The anus is easily torn, while the vagina has a network of muscles and self-lubricates to easily handle a penis. Someone’s ignorant of biology.

“Sweet, agonizing pleasure” – The sick bitch talks again. Rape isn’t pleasurable, dumbass, and I’ve never seen or met a woman or man who openly admitted that they liked having their intimate parts touched by someone they didn’t want touching them. Good to know that feminists and their ilk are the real rapists when they aren’t bitching about rape. I wonder how Charlene Downes would react to this, before she was raped to death and cut into pieces to be sold as kebabs. Or any man or woman raped to death, for that matter. I wonder what ‘pleasure’ they must have felt when their rapist touched them in places where they were not allowed to.

Oh, I’m sorry. That little ‘don’t like don’t read’ tag doesn’t mean shit to me. You’ve asked for this.

“He hated himself, hated Sandy, at how good it felt” – Yet another myth. Just because the body experiences sexual stimulation during forced entry, it doesn’t mean the person doesn’t enjoy it. This is yet another trope at the ‘it hurt so bad but then it felt so good’ rape memo.

“Inexpressible ecstasy” – Here we go again with another of the most overused words in smut fic.

I’m so damn sorry that you don’t realize that when someone says no, it means no, and it immediately becomes rape when one party – male or female – clearly expresses no desire for sexual contact. In this case, Pitch gets bound, gets a whip inserted in his ass, and suddenly finds it pleasurable. He enjoys taking it up the ass from his rapist.

Sorry, but this isn’t real humiliation, either. Good to know this buddy never fought back, not even to the end, or tried to get away, like all the real women who ended up getting ravaged in the worst ways imaginable.

The Sandman is a sick fuck. I wouldn’t let him near any child at all. He shouldn’t even be thinking about rape in the first place, but hey, homosexual rape isn’t rape at all unless the other party secretly enjoys it, right?

And even the other members don’t find any problem with it! What a bunch of despicable, morally deprived individuals. In the good ole days, all of them would be hung for their attitudes. CLEARLY, in this case, ‘justice’ is raping another defenceless individual instead of giving them the chance to fight back. Know what that is? It’s a coward’s move. It’s an inhuman move. It’s a bestial move.

It looks like your beta is little more than a sick fuck rapist, just as you, because any sane individual will tell you that, along with your terrible attempt at writing, you are a sub-human individual undeserving of any respect. Not only that, but these characters all interact with children. They’re meant to protect their innocence, and yet, they all are fine with raping men. What kind of world is that? Not any moral or sane world, I’ll tell you.

I will tell you to take your ‘don’t like don’t read’ logic and to shove it up your ass, because guess what? YOU wrote this. YOU thought about. YOU had another person edit it for you. Through all that, it never occurred to you ONCE that this was not only illogical, it was disgusting and depraved. But hey, you ARE a woman; you secretly enjoy rape fantasies and wish it would happen to you. Is that right? Or am I wrong?

Funny how I got here because of your review to a Transformers story where you said the characterizations were ‘to a T’. What bullshit. All you are is an untalented rapist who’s getting it how it is. I’m so sorry your education couldn’t leave you one iota of fucking common sense.

Sick bitch. Guess you couldn’t even see your own contradictions even if they blazed at you in giant neon signs. No matter. It’s always a pleasure to tear you bitches apart.

What... did I just read...?

You know, I almost feel bad for Pitch, buuuut, not quite. The last two paragraphs were hilarious, though. You rule.

I pity pitch

Love it!

Oh jeez... That was really well written, well done... Also very amusing! Poor Pitch! Wow.. Sandy is... Wow. I like this pairing too, it's cute. Awesome story:)

oh...my...*squeals, swoons, then faints*

/o/

Too awesome!

*eyes wide, blushing* OH MY!

okay...I never commented on any fanfiction EVER.
but this...oh boy...unparalleled work. the build of events was JUST RIGHT, and the use of just the perfect words...not to talk about the grade A smut! I tip my hat to you madam.

AAH! That was awesome! I never would've thought... I never dreamed (oh look, a pun! :D) anything like this. I love it. *favorites*

Poor Pitch. That was so good. I loved it. I love Pitch.