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This was ridiculous cute~
Loved it!

I liked the plot a lot, but it was too wordy. I know you want to be a good writer, and it's great to be articulate and use good words, but with writing, less is more. When you throw in too many adjectives or extra words, it gets tedious to read. In a truly well-written story, each sentence gets a point across or elaborates on that point, in an eloquent, clean cut manner. When you put too many unnecessary words in a sentence, by the end of it you've forgotten the point it was conveying. This story was just uncomfortable to read because of the poor wording. One of the signs that you're making this mistake is that you don't have any breaks in your story. Breaks are an essential part of storytelling; after one or two long sentences, give a short sentence or two to let the reader soak up all of the information. But really the main reason that not using unnecessary words is that each sentence in a story needs to pack a punch. All of the plot details need to be worded memorably so the reader remembers them. When you have sentences like these, it completely drains all of the momentum your story has. Nothing seems really exciting or important because it's all stretched to the point where it becomes boring and predictable. Just a tip. The plot is sound, and I think this would be a good story if you hadn't tried to sound so intelligent.

This was so cuuute. Dx

So cute and well written! I just adore the bike scene! Thank you for this!

Ahhhhh!So cute!

Ah gotta love phases! They stick with you for life! Ha JK! I'm such a dirk myself! Anyway, loved this so much!

"Unrefined" writing? This is the best story I've read out of all the Kevedd fanfics, and it makes me smile every time I read it. Seriously, I wish I could write half as good as you ;)

So flipping cute

So cute!
:D

This is amazing! I want more!

; A ; Ahhhhhhhhhh It was so cute!

awww sad that it ended but i really loved it! you should write more :3