I had quelled a minor urge to thoroughly critique your story.

Of all issues in your story, all these lack of depths and lack of character and lack of story and whatnot, I see that you really put effort into this, despite your underwhelming reception. Grammar was flawless, albeit boring, and chapters are thoughtfully structured.

All in all, you're well on a good way to write masterfully. Unfortunately, few people ever leave good reviews on bad stories. Do not be discouraged. Give it a year, and you'll be just fine.

Interesting beginning to the story. You've definitely set the tone for who she is and how she goes about saving the galaxy. I like that EDI has developed some very human qualities ... rambling and going off on tangents despite having an extremely logical mind. She may or may not have been around people too much.

It will be interesting to see how the crew deals with a very renegade Shepard. A lot of them are very staunchly moral, so I'm sure it will be a road filled with conflict. Good luck with your writing and thanks for sharing.

Okay I have two things to say One. Holy shit I love this Shepherd
Two. Oh my God she is amazing

MORE

just wanted to know what the black tide is

Enjoyable fic, like your shepard. Thanks for posting!

Let's get (semi-) drunk yay! :)

Great chapter :D

- K

I always liked Thane in the game, and agree he was under used. But Kasumi remain my favourite character.
Another good chapter, I hope you update again soon.

I knew I was getting into something when a canonically straight character suddenly goes lesbian for no reason whatsoever. Anyways, I'd like to point out your contradictory statements.

Someone can't be tender if they're cold. A cold-hearted person doesn't care for others and they lack sympathy. A tender person cares for others and responds to social stigma. This also contradicts the manipulative trait; it means you have the desire to control others for your own gains, or to use them for all their worth and then discard them. You can't be manipulative and tender, which shows your confusion of human traits and interpretations.

If you're amoral, you have no morals whatsoever and are incapable of choosing between right and wrong. Therefore, without morals, you can't be tender because you cannot interpret or understand human emotions. If you're amoral, you can't decide if binding synthetics or organics is proper or not because - get this - you can't judge because you have no sense of right or wrong! Do you mean "immoral"?

Anyways, this Shepard is too much like Jack. She's rather predictable and out of her element.

What? Saren not grit or determined? Honey, do you even know his past? He was willing to sacrifice anyone to get the job done and he CARED for his work. That's determined!

It's clear you're confused about how words. You're putting complete contradictions in the same sentence.