It's about time someone made a Yuri vanguard story! Thank you chap, I liked it.

I agree on some valid points from Scarlet Leyyrt ,in that it could use more romantic scenes (a kiss scene). Also I would have to say, just writing more for the Romance genre , I'm going to suggest the opposite, say and to not go for more* details on the fight (unless this is an action/adventure story too in which case, great!) My suggestion would be to add more introspective and information on the characters/relationships then on the Vanguard duel. How Misaki and Kourin are interacting, thinking feeling... You got some great ideas but just go for a little more information on the girls and what's going inside their head. If you plan on continuing, I would love to see more romance or information on how the other characters feel about Kourin/Misaki being girlfriends (personally I wouldn't find any of them too surprised, this show being very (And I do hope you do as you are excellent). For an Action story I would agree with more details, but sometimes it can be distracting from the character's relationship, if we try to keep up with both the fight and the romance in one chapter. So in other words maybe a little less information on the game/more on dialogue and character development and more romance. _ Hope to read more from you darling.
-Katel

Oh my god! You wrote for the Misaki/Kourin. I think I love with you! Be my best friend? :) I planned on writing my own and wasn't sure if anyone else shipped this. They are too precious together. I have to write my story now i love how the season's progressed and Kourin's formed stronger ties with everyone and not just an Aichi thing. It almost seems like since the festival her feelings have shifted a little bit towards Misaki, taking in more of her opinion to heart now. Anyway lovely writing! Yuri vanguard all the way!

Greetings!

So reading through this story, I found a lot to like and a bit not to. I'm going to focus on the negatives first, since they were very nearly a deal breaker.

First, don't be afraid to use fight notations in your story or provide fight outlines at the end. I know the power and skill of every single unit used in this fight, and it was extremely hard to conceptualize certain turns simply because there was no frequent visual reminder of the power of various units, the current formation of both players, and their hand/damage zone count. I've found that ending each turn with a player update like this:

(Playername)
Hand: -current number of cards in hand-
Front Row: Rear Guard (Power)/Vanguard (Power)/Rear Guard (Power)
Back Row: Rear Guard (Power)/Vanguard (Power)/Rear Guard (Power)
Damage: Card Name (unflipped), Card Name (Flipped)
Soul: Card Name, Card Name, Card Name (Or just 'number of cards in soul', with narration explaining which cards were soul charged)
Drop Zone: Card Name, Card Name, Card Name or just number of cards depending on relevance

You have to track this information anyway when writing, so adding one of these in really does make the difference between the action of the fight being difficult to follow or not- and in a story that's mostly fight, you don't want the reader bogged down in mentally reconstructing the fight, you want them to focus on the characters. Not providing a way to track this information via shorthand distracts from that goal. It can also help in cutting down clunky dialogue, like Kourin's line about "I call Tracie where Gallatin once stood"- bits of dialogue like that can break our immersion in the characters. Since this is shipfic, we have to be really, really immersed in them, so this is crucial.

That's my other major point of criticism with this story- at times, it's really difficult to feel the characters coming through the dialogue. Lines like Misaki and Kourin's exchange about Sanctuary Guardian Dragon feel sort of like the characters, but not completely identical- the story suffers from an uncanny valley effect where you almost capture the two, but every mis-step feels worse by comparison. Some of the exchanges don't really seem to build or go anywhere- Misaki and Kourin talking about how easy (or hard) the other is to read does build very naturally toward the conclusion, but bits like Kourin ruminating as to how Misaki finds 10000 shield a "greater asset" than dealing early damage (aside- as a veteran fighter myself and a long time fan of the show, I don't think that's a great reading of Misaki, she's been shown several times to go out of her way to use eight-critical decks for a reason, and it isn't just the shield).

The other problem is that even the mis-stepped dialogue is better than the turns where the two barely banter. Misaki isn't a verbal character, yes, and she's not really prone to mid-match flirting- nor is Kourin for that matter- but so much of Kourin's thought processes in this game revolve around Misaki and her hand, and her field, and whether she can beat her. For a shipfic there's really not that much here to ship, and it kind of seems odd when team Aichi walks in on things and Shingo starts to pull them out of the room like they just walked in on a make-out session. Work a bit on that, for a fic like this to work you need to establish a strong, emotional connection between the two characters. A bit of self-doubt on Kourin's part following some encouragement from Misaki would have done that nicely, and also tied in with the initial conflict.

Incidentally, I'm very fond of that initial conflict. Kourin's reaction to her constant misplays, how and why Misaki volunteers to help her, the little continuity nods- the story feels very natural even when the dialogue and conclusion don't. The fight was well-scripted too, and once I got the flow I really only found minor things to nit-pick (Ambrosius was technically used a turn earlier than having it as a boost would have made a difference, for instance). And of course, I ship this pairing harder than words can communicate so that was also kind of nice. Here's hoping for more stories from you, you've got good ideas, they just need polish.