Terribly wonderful. Can you make this past of a continued story though. You are clearly A talented writer.

loved it! please tell me there's more x

I literally gasped and shivered when John said, "You'll do as I say, boy, or Sammy'll get it next."
Holy mother of crap. Good story though.

Wow. That was really good. I feel bad for enjoying it as much as I did .

But, anyhow, I'd love to see more of this as an ongoing story! :D If you want to write it of course :P

However, my one critique is to fix the line spacing; it's all squished together and it makes it difficult to read; just put one more space between each paragraph :P