I love your writing! I hope you pick this back up again

aw... this was really good

I hope you decide to come back to this at some point in the future. Taking this to some kind of forum might get more comments, advice or suggestions.

Aww... this actually had potential. What direction are you talking about? The flow of the story? SMT has always been about choices. It seems you based the system of Devil Survivor 1 for this fic. I really liked the first one because of its seriousness and dark theme. TAMNI has its dark moments too, but it will always find a way to end where everyone can smile, for the most part. It would have been best if you focused on one route first, then you write another fic dealing with a different route, since certain actions can lead to a different ending, though that would be hard. If you still can, continue or remake this fic. There's also the option of not continuing this at all. It's all up to you since you're the writer.

Have a Nice Day!

Considering the nature of Devil Survivor (or, well, Shin Megami Tensei in general), it kind of makes sense for choices to be all over the place, and not only that, it's always gonna be right on time and forced, with or without planning. If anything, Saten Ruiko seems like she could have some trouble if she doesn't make her decisions well, so some outside help would work, if they can bother.

As for direction... this is tricky. Again, the nature of Devil Survivor is all about choices, and the wrong ones tend to be pretty horrific, but on the other hand, everyone barely escapes death and doom and are glad that it turned out okay. That's where it falls in: either a grim story full of tragedy, a hopeful route to the future, or something in-between. While I don't mind either way, mind you, the Devil Survivor 2 anime tried to be a grim tragedy, and, well, you see where that ended up since it was a grim anime of a somewhat-comedic game. So if you do plan on going for grim tragedy, just don't use the anime as a good set of ideas.

Though tragedy might seem hard since this IS the TAMNIverse we're in, but hey, anything can happen.

Of course, if you feel like you want to go everywhere, then go everywhere. Write multiple routes on what went right and what went wrong. Have Index summon Metatron in the true ending (if she's ever around). It could even be a New Game Plus or something, similar to Devil Survivor 2. Just be careful not to overdo it since it's pretty tedious.

That should be it for now. I hope you have the passion to continue this one day, and when you do, I'll be around.

what's your problem with direction? Is it the tone of the story, or just the general plotting of the story itself?
What do you need help on?

I hope you make this into a multi chapter story, it's really good.

I'd have to say this is very interesting choice. It'd certainly give a reason for Crowley wanting to surpass 'God' as in DS2, he's a complete omnicidial asshole. Adding in the mix of science and magic by digitally encoding magic demon summoning rituals, ooooo so good

An annoying thing to say, yes, but I would like some more sir.

Sounds pretty good so far. It would be interesting to see Touma get some of his demons in his harem. Probably Saten wouldn't be a bad addition tneither.

Personally I find this interesting but I kinda did skim a few parts. I'll reread it again later but for now let me ask, which devil survivor franchise did you play? Just curious.

Anyway, goodbye, paalam If you know what that means