Precious. Your writing is amazing.

Second person present tense? No one ever does that!

Really well done, a challenging format, very well handled.

Beautiful. Thank you.

I usually don't like first-person narration, but it really works well here. It makes it seem quick and Sherlock-y. I love the line "You have to breathe, so you do, and John has to kiss you, so he does." Well written and a pleasure to read!

Loved the story

Aww that was awesome! The development ist great and Sherlock's perspective feels really in character. Just perfect.

The first person format is tricky to connect organically with the reader - it seems too forced most of the time. Too jarring. With this, however, it works. Very well, in fact. Brilliant work! Absolutely! Excellent pace, the pitch and thrum of an intimate scene especially, but instead of PWP (which is passable in the context of a fanfic - if it's written well - because the backstory is already present) there is a defining mote of character:

John's character could have more strength; more depth than you've managed to convey, if that's the single critique I have. It's a subtle art, getting a character's internal workings through anonother character's observation. That said, it's hardly poor - quite the opposite, it just could be a little more 'there', Sherlock's character is definitely spot on the mark. His insecurity, his quirks and the way he sees the world; his ability to draw strength from logical certainty. Absolutly brilliant!

Finally (because I'm in the mood to do this, aparently, and I know how much a long review is worth) you have the emotional balance and authenticity in the relationship that pulls everything together, quite so ;)

I really enjoyed this, primarily because the flow of the writing was very reminiscent of the relationship between John and Sherlock - easy and smooth on the surface with complex undertones beneath. Great work, looking forward to the sequel.
cs