Well that was fast! To improve on your righting, you might want to start with putting a little more filler material like having to yugi and yami discuss what they are planning on doing when there older and talk about how yami is scared of taking on the role of king. Something to make us feel for them, other than yugi being a slave or beaten, be for getting marred. (Still good though)

Awe! I love this side of Bakura even if he has the same cold, angry side it's good to see him soft like this

will Beth be killed with a pineapple?

DIE WITH A PINEAPPLE!

I almost feel sorry for Beth, ALMOST.

Yami's sister sohnds like me, I'm nosey to when it coes to stuff

Luv it really luv the part where laura gets a little sassy with the what do you think I do brade my hair but I personally think yugi should have a dress but that's just me

Love the story it was so cute!

When they confessed their love for each other I fangirled for a moment lol

This is a good story :)

AWW this was too cute and romantic! I can't take it. What a wonderful story you had here. Glad I stuck around for the entire thing.

Ok Yami is way more poetic than he is in Egypt. I love it. Keep up the good work.

Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa! 3 love it! Amazing, wonderful, inspiring, romantic! I love it more than the last time I read it! Never lose that passion! * hugs *

Yes, let's put out fires by sending them to an alternate dimension. This is cute, but WORK ON THAT GRAMMAR! Bad grammar can ruin a story, you know. Also Yugi, Yugi,Yugi, Yugi. Substitute he more when not talking about two of them. In English, the last he used is assumed when put in place. This was worse in the last chapter, so nice improvement. Beyond that, I love the plot and your pacing. So I'll tell you a secret; in the origional story of Cinderella, she had slippers of squirrel fur and the translator messed up.

Great idea how about u do Romeo x Juliet yugioh zexal styal
Cast:yuma:Juliet
Astral:Romeo