Can he sing highway to hell from AC DC.

cuz lets face it it fucking sucked after you put in that random girl so im transferring it into a gamer story see ya later thanks for the story ill tell them to check out this story if they wanted to see what inspired mine

dont worry ill say you were an...inspiration to it

XD PBBBBBBBFFFFFFFTTT HAHAHAHAHA. your all like IM NOT QUITTING thrb like 2 years and and 5 months later no update XD PBBBBBBBFFFFFFTTTTTTT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA uuuuuh im taking this story thank you very much

Don't quit now

ok this guy was from earth before he was sent into rwby show me one person from earth with the name Deveraux Mercer just one and I'll eat my words but hey at least it isn't Dante but right off the bat this fanfic is setting off red flags he's given weapon's from the devil may cry series and his aura is off the charts not a good sign why couldn't you have just given him a semblance now I'm only on chapter two so I could be wrong although I doubt it considering 90% of the OC fanfic's are the same but I'm gonna take a guess that his great magnificent power will woo all the ladies without even trying and he'll gather a massive harem cause your not a true Gary Stu if you don't have a harem and he'll shock them with his 12 inch dick and he'll be a sex God even though it's his first time but I will continue to read this in hopes that I'm wrong but I doubt it

After Eleven,

Oh good, some talk about merging personalities to explain his actions. Nice save, could have been executed better but al least it's there. ( I feel like an asshole after these) I'm no critic and I ain't no author I'm just trying to help with feedback and opinions. Is velvet not on team cfvy? They have another Faunus and they like her.

After 10

In this chapter they talk like they have been at school long enough to know teachers habits when it's the first day. That's the Only Negati e I

After chapter 9 (idk if you can tell wich chapter I post on) it seems kinda weird, he shows off but doesn't want people to know? The velvet one was anger induced and was a mistake on his part, if he wants to keep a low profile. It seems like he doesn't want to though. Although I can dig the skipping of the whole "different world" angst it kinda is important for character development. Like your guy moved on way too quick, on top of that he acts more like an oc added to the story instead of an si now. Did their personalitys and consciousness merge? Cuz you didn't say tha you only said he would have flashbacks that would change him. I'd say that the story could use a bit more development. It was also weird the his uncle acted like: "Oh, ok. Going to beacon now without prior warning or anything? Hospital didn't contact me? Great here is some cash". Thehe addition of the uncle wasn't handled right. Still reading tho

Nice tragic hero back story witnessing his parents murder, it's a timeless classic. I mean that in the way that doesn't have me come of as a creep who enjoys family's being destroyed.

Hey just started Finished your first chapter and I kinda make it a point to review at least once in every story to support awesome authors and give some feedback. Ther were a few formatting errors that you might wanna watch out for. A few times you changed paragraph mid sentence...besides that and the blatant pairing bait at the end (unless you were trying to show that Weiss is still capable of empathy even though she is cold, in that case, my bad) I think that this was a pretty decent start he literally fell into the universe. Which is so cliche and over-done that people say it's uncreative or lazy. I still kinda get a kick out of it, I mean literally falling out of the sky is pretty funny. Plus, you don't have many other options. I mean what else are you gonna do? Random portal? Universe wormhole? Reincarnation with all knowledge? Here he appears to have Become a fictional character in rwby(sucked into pc, random dmc power up) who "fell" into the story. If I get this right your guy is basically Nero with Yamato? Never played dmc but every fucking OC, SI, and power up given to AU characters is dmc ones so it must be a really good game. Yeah I'm gonna keep reading.

I dont know what yah talking about in the first part, im enjoying the story still

yep, not months indeed, more like almost a year... great story thogh. cant wait to see you talk your way outa this one

awkward

he needs some technique or somethin man