Reviews for The Story of Us (slash edition) |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Amazing story and I can't wait for the next chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() When are you making a Fred and George one!Update soon! |
![]() ![]() Oh this one is just so sweet! Perfect for a drabble! |
![]() ![]() Beautifully written. I just wish something like this could be longer. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aha I laughed at "Right away, my lord" hehe. This was quite an amusing little piece here, and the idea of werewolf genes being in the Black genes is actually quite an interesting concept. I think that can be explored further *plot bunny* I'm not sure if Harry really is sarcastic. JKR had plenty of subtle sarcasm in her books (which I actually commented on the other day that I thought was brilliant) though I'm not sure it comes out in Harry as much as it was in this. Still, I enjoyed Draco's snarky comments too, hehe, and your SPaG was really good, too. I spotted no errors. Well done on this. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interesting beginning. It might not be any news to Harry, but put like that it's a bit of a surprise to me. The way you describe Teddy is really adorable as well - though the second sentence does read a little long. Is it possible to break it up a little? The way you explain the relationship between all the characters is interesting; I don't think I've seen Teddy being infected through his mother's genes before; very clever, and the relationship between Draco and Harry is drawn out very nicely too. I am a little confused about the Draco's sex comment though. You use "he" to describe him, so he's definitely still a male, and what would Teddy's genes have to do with Draco (directly) anyway? The "That time of the month again" comment was an amusing touch in relation to the Draco's sex comment. The ending was adorable and yet somewhat sad as well; the perfect balance for some emotion to seep past the last words. And Draco as a healer? Cool. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Lovely. At first I was a bit disappointed on not finding any femslash yet, but this little drabble made up for it. I love how you wrote their relationship: starting with a common enough question and ending with a clichéd question, but making them life-changing. My favorite part was, however, the paragraph about the Yule Ball. I think it's a nice start and you describe it realistic enough (teenage drama and frustration). In all, it's a great piece and an interesting read. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love your drabbles, they're perfect. |
![]() ![]() ![]() :p This was really good. I especially loved the idea of there being a kind of werewolf curse running in the Black family - it really is an amazing idea, even if I have no idea how you could have come up with that :p The dynamics of the relationship between Harry and Draco were really great too. I liked that you managed to capture the personalities of both characters and yet pair them together, because it's kind of rare to see it so well done, especially in a story so short. The sarcasm was well written, and I didn't spot any SPaG mistakes, so good job :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great chapter! Can't wait for more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yay! You updated! Love this chapter! They're a cute couple. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Really nicely written couple of drabbles. keep writing |
![]() ![]() ![]() Poor Dudley. Sounds like Ed is in denial. Can you do a Voldemort/Severus? That's my favorite slash pairing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Poor Draco. What was the fight supposed to be about? |