I think Marcy and Phoebe should had been more than enough for Ash, you are falling for the cliche of “everyone but my protagonist is weak” believe it or not this is more common than you think.

You gave him a virgin shield curse ? Really ? You are really mean you know that?

It seems that you forgot your own powers that you gave Finn, he has some kind of special sight due to it electrical power, yet he never uses it when he need it. Also he can turn invisible for like 40 seconds, why has he never used it ever?

you can't go wrong with some frank sinatra

SUPER Sweet Chapter!

SUPER Awesome chapter!

SUPER Awesome chapter!

That was one of the best stories I’ve ever read

um wasn't this same scene used in samurai jack

Wait a minute, it doesn’t make meant sense. I’m on ch 19, why doesn’t Finn uses he electric powers that allowed him to see through walls to see through the mist of the shadows, why doesn’t he fly with his powers?

As someone who has read the Vampire Hunter D light novels, I am a bit upset by your portray of him. Also, I'm pretty sure Adventure Time has more than enough material, so you using plot lines from other forms of fiction does not make you look good as a writer.

After skimming through this fic, I have a few things I want to say.

First of all, harem fics are the singular worst thing to ever exist in any fandom. They are wish fulfillment of the worst kind, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for writing this thing.

Second of all, I understand that English may not be your first language, and if so, you guys really need to work on it. If it is indeed your first language, then your education system has failed you and you should leave whatever country you live in. Which begs the questionhow in the fuck does this thing have so many faves and follows? My eyes were tearing up from how horrible both the plot and grammar were.

Finally, the plot.

Jesus fuck, I can't even say anything about how shit it is.

In short, your fic is so shit, it belongs in The Daily Mail. It's so shit third world countries are clamoring for bits of it to fertilize their land. It's so shit it gave Gordon Ramsay a stroke. It's so fucking shit, my fucking pipes got fucking clogged.

This concludes today's angry rant.

Lovely simply lovely enjoyed it all of the way much love

Great story Cant wait to start on the2nd part

About 6 or so years later and I’m coming back to re-read this and then finish they saga with its sequel I never got to. Also djextinct13 WHY! Why did you have to put that in my head!