That's great. Will you give us more details about Rainah? It seems like she's their child, I find it pretty cute imagining all-powerful Sith Lord Zannah mothering a baby girl!

No. A real review is NOT "a rant about how much you liked the chapter and why you liked those things." A real review is a critique about what you did right and what you did wrong and a conclusion of whether the overall was good or bad and what can be done to improve it.

Besides, you should be going on hits to your story as that shows people coming back for more.

In any case, you're not writing for us; you're writing a story because you wanted to read it but no one had written it yet.

Hope you come back. Interesting stuff that was always good to read.

I am sorry you are going to far off just sorry I liked the idea but it’s to far off from the start of the Sith and Jedi. It’s more thr Jedi. However they would never ever let s dark Jedi join there so sorry I can’t

This is by far the best of Darth Bane story ever please continue I sure the sequel will be even better

Unfortunately, the style of interactions in the story aren't holding me.

I really like the overall direction and premise, and I'm sure it does continue to advance that. But I'm a reader (and writer) who prefers the immersion of characters over the development pace of the plot.
Many of the interactions feel rushed and unauthentic for a range of conversational and personality reasons that don't quite sit with those characters.
I am a fan of taking character A and evolving him into character A.1 (a different version from cannon) but you can't do that in an instant, it has to be built in motive and normal evolution to feel right.

Thank you for having written this story, what I did read of it I definitely enjoyed, and the points that started to jolt my enjoyment are neither here nor there.

Best of luck in all of your future writing! :)

Gotta say, the story is starting to lose me here.

The new Sith order idea sounds a lot like a Sith version of the Jedi order, and a lot like the Brotherhood of darkness order that Bane hated so.
Of course, there's the point that he's 1000 years old now and as such has changed his perspective somewhat, but that seems like a pretty central belief to shift so radically.

Some of the interactions between Bane and Zannah are feeling a little childish and fanciful. I could never imagine either of them, even as lovers, embracing like they did in this chapter, even though in many regards their belief system feels more like a Dark Jedi.
Thinking of which, the new order idea sounds very similar again to that of the Eternal Empire (Is that the right name?).

I'll delve a little deeper into the story and hope that it holds me.

Clearly, this story has been abandoned, but gotta say, as simple as this first chapter was, it is the beginning to the Star Wars fiction that I've been craving.

I'm very picky when it comes to FanFiction. I'll open dozens of stories if they sound like the kind of story that'll scratch my creative itch. Then work my way through them until I've got just a few, or in this case one, to dig into.

This is the first Star Wars story I've found that has brought Bane and Zannah into the modern timeline in a manner like this, and I find the basic plotline entirely believable without any stretch at all.
I'm looking forward to reading the rest! :)

This is a gem. Amazing content. Can't wait for sequel/update

I love it pleases update soon

I love it pleases update soon

honestly your version of Vaapad makes more sense, but the original thing isn't so much a difference in actual movements as it is, you channel your opponents darkness/evil back at them, the more they pour out at you, the more you can redirect back at them. it's why he was the only Jedi to match sidious in the Chancellor's office because the more rage and darkness palpatine threw at him through the force, the more he was able to redirect back at him, it's basically more of a force channeling exercise. but it being a way to cover weaknesses in the form makes more sense love this story btw, on my second or third read through ATM :)

Aw please update! And Yay, with Sideous dead, Anakin will not fall to the Dark Side. :)

How do you pronouns hssis?

Sidious manipulated his master into getting drunk and falling asleep for the first time in 20 years, a master who was determined not to sleep ever again, not to show weakness ever again. His master, who had left him to handle most of the Grand Plan in the last few decades, and delved into midiclorian manipulation instead.

Sidious then went on to overthrow the Republic, anhiliate the Jedi, and rule over a galactic empire for over two decades,and the Republic for approximately the same before that. He did so without the aid of many of the stronger Dark Side abilities, which were lost when Darth Gravid went insane and destroyed over half of the Sith Holocrons and texts. He then recreated many of these lost abilities, including Transfer Essence. He is one of the greatest masters of the Dark Side, ever, and incredibly powerful and skilled.

Meanwhile, your two so-called Sith Lords have been working as farmers and toiling away at pointless menial labour for almost a thousand years, with full knowledge and possession of powerful Sith abilities, and have apparently achieved absolutely nothing.

They did not stop Darth Gravid from trying to incorporate Lightside techniques into the Sith, nor from going insane and destroying much of the accumulated Sith knowledge. They have not worked to topple the a republic or the Jedi Order, they have not helped the Grand Plan in any way, shape, or form, and have broken their own Rule of Two.

The seven forms of lightsaber combat are the Jedi forms, the Sith have their own as well. Three seconds to perform a sequence? I hope that's a friggin long sequence since Force users can augment their speed to crazy levels.

500 years to get decent at Sith Sorcery, with the help of a master at the art? No new levels of mastery and power?

Mentioning those specific things about cloning really seems out of place, since cloning is normally done like that or flash-grown.

Why didn't they just continue the Grand Plan themselves, anyway? If they are going to live the full time and 'keep watch' (even if all they did was wait for something to go wrong, and then be too far away to actually do anything about it until far too late), then why wouldn't they just do it themselves?

Besides, even if Sidious 'cheated', the Sith had moved on to political influence instead of brute brawn attacks. Sith cheat anyway. Pick another premise, this one kinda sucks. Interesting, but really silly.

Maybe have them frozen or in stasis or something, so that the whole time in between doesn't make them seem like morons who can't accomplish anything. Then they come out of it all confused, then however long afterwards feel Sidious kill Plagueis and get upset that the Sith are so diminished (not knowing its 'cos Darth Gravid went nuts and all that knowledge was destroyed), and set out to take their rightful places as Lords of the Sith.