I'm really enjoying this story so far, but I just wanted to offer constructive criticism if you still read these and want to consider it.

Your writing style is really good, but when it comes to dialogue, your characters tend to speak a lot and you write it in fairly large paragraphs with little interruptions. This gives their speaking a sort of preach like quality in my opinion, and diminishes the value of what they're saying. This is because, at least in my head, when you have a character go off on a tangent about their feelings or ethics or relationships without giving me more information about their body language and expressions while they're speaking, I just imagine them sitting there giving a speech and it makes it easy for me to zone out. I think it's a pity that this happens because otherwise I really like your writing.

Should you choose to, I think it's an easy fix. You can just break up the speeches into shorter paragraphs and describe their actions in between, or just try to condense their points so the speeches don't go on for too long.

This is just something I noticed, but I'm aware that this might be a conscious choice and this is how you like your characters to be written, which I respect. In any case, great story and good luck!

I actually was pretty sure that Daphnee was the killer! I wasn't sure why but I had a feeling. I think it was because she was just kind of around but no one was really friends with her anymore. But I liked it because I wasn't 100% sure but I was right in the end! Great story btw!

Hi there - just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this story. The characters were well written and the plot strong and believable. Ron's fall from grace was one of the most believable parts, and it felt true to his character as JKR wrote him. Thanks for a wonderful story!

Jilly

interesting story. the writing and the dialogue could've used some work (editing and beta'ing probably would've been a good idea to polish some of the redundancies, grammar issues, and amercanisms), and a couple of times your characterisations seemed a bit off (especially in the dialogues). but literary issues aside the concept was nice and the story was an enjoyable read.

Harry for Merlin's sake, stop comparing Draco to the other moron! The bloke was clueless and stupid, let's leave it at that XD•Love the story, darling BTW. Reading it for the third time and it never gets old3•

this is cute and all, but the author is just a bit too fond of infodumps. Really, single person monologues that fill up the whole screen on my phone?...

I love Ginny as a matchmaker.

I love it and the ending with Ron seeing them hurting is hilarious.

Bravo.

Another lovely story.

Wow. Amazing. I like Draco as a Diddy.

Love it.

Great work.

I loved reading this story it was thrilling and exciting how it turned out. Glad it had a happy ending as well.

I really want to read this story because it's SO good, but I also don't want to because when it ends I'm gonig to be so upset, do you know how hard it is to find good Dramione? VEARY hard, unfortunately, Dramione fans don't have much English lessons. But this, this, it's, it's MAGNIFICENT, ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, JUST BEAUTIFUL!