Wow, that's not totally what I expected, for a man that lives in the wasteland, he's surprisingly merciful, a reversal of role I would say, I was expecting him to be merciless and the dragonborn to be merciful.

Hmm I’d think that the Dragonborn would be more upset over killing an unarmed man than the Courier.

Yea this hase all the makings of a sweet story and its nice to see two ms be together,but the nerf of Dragonborn is to nerfed Dragonborn so she is hurt by bullets that's fine but not true in a real not being uber op just dosnt seem that real to me.
Like she is still a dragonborn,a part of litteral god of hase is an archmage and guild master of every guild from what i read here,beat you try to tell me that she cant handle the she also chempion to the all princess she should be able of you wanted to have dragonborn in the story it she should have been a dragonborn that just recently started her well Dragonborn that serves Mora would carry Black books with her wich would bring her back to Apocrypha.
Like many said this is a decent story with simple structure but god damn man the nerf of dragonborn was annoying af.
Also what the fuck was with her no carrying allot of potions and not using shouts ?

I always hate this kind of ending.

Favorite part this chapter:
"Now look. You've managed to mortify [battle-hardened] soldiers."

Why didn't they get more ammo once they got out of the tunnels? Or did they and you just didn't write that in?

Aw, come on, Lyannah! You could've 'Fus-Ro-Dah'ed everyone off the damn or at least used Cyclone!

Why hasn't Lyannah used any of her shouts yet? I think she might have used Whirlwind Sprint in the first chapter, though Will probably would've mentioned hearing that.

Dawwww! She does have a heart!

Ni wah voth fin Kreh Lein Miiraak Thu'um.

The fact that your story is not tagged with 'Drama' bothers me. I would not have read it if it had been. While an interesting premise, and the lack of magicka is logical, nothing could bother me more than the fact that you deliberately nerfed the freaking Dragonborn time and time again for no apparent reason other than for the sake of a plot of drama that wouldn't have worked if she had been as powerful as she is supposed to be.

Examples of this:

1. She's Dovakiin. She only shouts in an emergency?! What BS is that? It takes even longer for it to recover? BS. Complete BS. It takes 30-60 seconds to recover the ability to use the Thu'um, so the fact that she wasn't tearing through everything with the power of her voice was complete and utter BS.

2. That moment in the bar when she was suddenly and inexplicably too slow and weak to stop an idiot lout from slapping her. And no, it wouldn't have been the alcohol. Whether she's a Nord or not, she lived in freaking Skyrim. She would have been used to alcohol and it would not have impaired her enough to do something like that, either from a lore or gameplay perspective. True, without that, big strong Courier wouldn't have been able to assert himself and defend her, impressing her somehow, and I'm not touching how nonsensical that is with a ten foot pole, but regardless it's a scene that is ridiculous because there is literally nothing that could have caused her to have her power suddenly drop off and it's a gaping plot hole that just gets left in the dust with question marks surrounding it.

3. The level of power you've hinted at here for her in her level of magicka back in Skyrim, and the fact that she seems to have all the titles and then some, it's pretty easy to extrapolate that she is probably also the Archmage of Winterhold, and more importantly, the sheer amount of magicka required to pull off being an army killer means that she's probably enchanted that amulet to the point that it drops her mana cost for casting spells to 0. If you're just going to give her a large mana pool and a mana cost drop that only has her spells costing her a small fraction rather than simply 0? Fine. Doubtful she'd not go all the way and enchant it as powerful as she can make it if she has the ability to do so, but fine. I find it far more believable that she would have though, thus meaning that having no magicka regen would've been moot point since none of her magic would have dropped her mana pool anyway.

Sorry if I seem overcritical with this, but I really love the premise here, and I think you could have done it a lot better. For what it was, it was good. I'm not a fan of drama, and the nerfing was extremely annoying, and the open ended ending is clear sequel bait, but regardless of that, it was decent.

...five shots of Morphine? ignoring the part where her amulet would probably filter it out, that much would kill her.

I feel as if their roles are a bit reversed. "You don't just execute an unarmed man!" Um. In the Wastelands of Fallout you do. In Skyrim you don't.

Why have you made the courier such a weakling?
I'm glad he is no Mary sue as is the case with most stories in the website, but still, a hunting rifle when he is already through most of the main questline? C'mon!.

Anyway, the story is nonetheless good, but I see that as a major flaw that ought to be addressed, although admittedly you may have done it already.

Hot damn a completed story that's also not a one shot. Just awaiting the sequel.

hmm you're courier is like mine trying to avoid as many deaths as possible

I can explain magic its radiation that's my answer mutation