Characters: Allen/Kanda/Lavi/Lenalee
Warnings: Foursome. And a sort of actual romance. If I tried to warn for everything that happens in this fic, we'd be here forever. Sex happens between four consensual people and is both het and yaoi. Author's Note: There is a switch in POVs at various points. The order will be Lenalee – Lavi – Kanda – Allen – Lenalee. I also messed with the timeline a little; the ot4 technically never had any missions together, so assume a longer time period before the part of the timeline they got trapped on the Ark.

Hers

In her dreams, she has slept with Allen, but also with Lavi and Kanda. She dreams of how her body fits against theirs, how they would hold her. How they'd whisper her name. How it would make her feel. She always brushed it off as fanciful thinking. They're friends and fellow Exorcists. They've fought together and held each other up. Besides, how would they feel if they knew what she thought of them?

She isn't sure when she started loving them individually.

Kanda was first. The first she met, who stood in L'vellie's way more than once, did her hair for her, and slept in the same bed. He has always been there for her. Lavi was second. Polar opposite of Kanda's mood, always teasing a laugh out of her, and the quickest to offer a hug and even a kiss on the cheek. And Allen was third. He remains the kindest and most maddening person. The one she wants to see less burdened. Friendliness turned to fondness, and fondness to love. They were constantly in her thoughts, vying for attention.

She can't choose.

Maybe it was the time she convinced Allen and Kanda to stop fighting for one second and they all fell asleep on the same sofa (Kanda denies it, but Timcanpy's videofeed is enough proof). Or how the Order finally sent only the four of them on a mission and she understood how well they worked together. Perhaps even the time she almost broke an arm and the three of them were instantly there.

Lenalee is not complete without them. Her heart aches for the four of them to be united. Somehow. When the urge became too much, she sought them out one by one. All three were better than her dreams; Kanda easily pushes her over the edge, only to silence her with kisses. Lavi teased until she melted in his arms and then would make her laugh. Allen was immensely gentle and the only one who made her cry (she didn't slap him for that) from happiness.

She wants them.

All of them.

But it is a ludicrous idea. Some would call it sick. Maybe it was an obsession. She keeps her world too close to her. She loves too much. If she had all of them together, would she be betraying herself? Betraying them?

It's distressing, but not enough to get into the way of her life. She still fights. The routine went on.

And then she suddenly, almost nearly, loses all of them. She herself falls from the sky and loses badly. They are forcefully placed on that Ark, and for a moment, almost all her friends are gone.

Worst was how her home was attacked.

Lenalee can't bear it.

They had to know how much she loved all of them. Individually, it was not enough. It had to be all, or none.

Besides, it takes more courage to die than it takes to ask if they would accept her.

_-|||:|||-_

"So why are we here?" Lavi asks. He is seated on a chair, legs crossed and arms against the windowsill of her room. Allen and Kanda are jostling each other (why are they seated next to each other, anyway?). Lenalee is on her bed, legs tucked up while her finger spins an anklet.

She glances at the fighting pair. "Could you at least stop for a few minutes?" Exasperated; she hopes they won't be a problem if they actually agree to this.

Allen immediately shoves away and straightens himself. Kanda only crosses his arms. "Get on with it," he states.

"I had a few thoughts. And a confession."

"Eh…" Allen puts up a hand. "Does it involve Innocence or Noah?"

"No."

"The Order?"

"No…."

"What about—"

"Oi, let her finish." Kanda looks ready to jab another fist.

"It's about you three. Us." She jumps in before another fight can start. "And—"

Lavi cuts in. "It was me. I slept with her. Please don't kill me." A pause. "Or kill me quickly." He puts up his hands to shield his face.

Silence reigns for a total of three seconds, then Allen activates his Innocence and Kanda unsheathes Mugen.

"Stop it!" She almost activates her boots, waving her arms. "I've slept with all three of you and that's why I wanted to talk to you." Her face must be as red as her anklets.

There, it was out. The worst was out. Kanda stares blankly at her, then at the other two, and surprisingly, sits down without a word. Allen is the one who sputters and says something incoherent, while Lavi's blush rivals hers.

"So…" The white-haired Exorcist faintly says, "All three of us, during different times?"

"Mhm." She stops looking at them, shoulders hunching.

"Why?"

"It's not that I'm a…" she refuses to label herself anything. "I. I love you. All of you. I think about all of you, and I want all of you." She keeps her gaze fixed on some imaginary square on her bedcovers. "I've tried to stop thinking about it, but I can't help it. Something keeps me here, wanting, wishing."

The room is too quiet, and she hastens to break it. "I'm telling you this because I'd like to have all of you here with me. There were times I thought I'd lost all of you. It hurt." She didn't mean to cry, but the tears came anyway. "I need all of you. Y-you make me complete. Better."

This isn't quite how she meant to ask them, but she can't stop or go back. It's a risk she has to take. If they hate her for it, or politely refuse and try to go back to normal, she would bear it. "You can say whatever you want. But I had to let you know, because I love all three of you."

Lenalee finally looks up, and that's when Allen cups her face and kisses her. Deeply. When he pulls away, he has a sort of enigmatic smile on his face that steadies her.

"You're very precious to me, Lenalee," he traces the side of her face. "Ever since we met. When you first came to me, I said I didn't think I could love without being selfish. But I think I do love you. And I'm okay if you love more than just me. I…" he glances at the other two. "I also have a confession. I'm not monogamous."

"Aww, the little Moyashi admits that he's good in bed."

"It's Allen, idiot Lavi."

"All right, all right." Lavi steps forward. "I think we can all agree that we want our Lenalady to be happy, neh?" He reaches to ruffle both Lenalee and Allen's heads. "I've had a lot of crushes, but you were the one I held the longest. I don't mind sharing."

"You're just greedy." Kanda is still sitting down. Lenalee is most nervous about him and what he thinks.

"Kanda?"

He says nothing at first, but fingers the side of Mugen's sheathe for a while before he looks up. "I loved her first." He crosses the room in three large steps, shoving Allen aside to kiss her harder than Allen did before until she saw stars and had to lean back for air.

"Yu, don't suffocate her."

Amazingly, he does not mention the use of his first name. "Just don't make asses of yourself and I'll be fine with this."

"Ass, yourself."

"Fuck you—"

"Tsk, such language in front of a lady—"

"We weren't asking for your opinion, Lavi," both Allen and Kanda chorused. He backs off.

And Lenalee finds herself laughing amidst her tears.

This is why she loves all of them.

They were at their best when they were together.

Now the question was, what happens next?

Seemed as if she didn't have to worry; Lavi complains he didn't get to kiss her yet, and proceeds to do so while they all manage to fit on her bed. It's king-sized because Komui obviously thought she needed such a giant bed, and for their purposes, it actually worked.

While she focuses on kissing Lavi, the other two are making short work of her clothes. Stockings, top, skirt and underwear were all tugged away until she is left in only anklets. She makes a sound against Lavi's mouth, and yanks him closer while four hands run all over her body, tracing, touching, teasing until she has to reluctantly break off kissing in order to inhale.

"What is your record for coming?" Lavi asks casually, as if he were asking about the weather.

"…two times? Maybe three."

"We can probably make it five."

Her head spins at the number, but she has no time to say anything as Kanda pulls her against him to sit on his lap, arm around her waist while his mouth nibbles her ear. Allen and Lavi have their lips against her breasts and all she can do is lean back and make little sounds that noted her pleasure.

The thing was that it wasn't only the sex. She liked their company and if she didn't like the sex, she would have loved simply being in their company. The sex was an addition, a dessert…and better than she expected. Kanda's body is as warm as hers; his cock is pressing into her back, and if she weren't so distracted, she would help him out.

Then Lavi slips down to her nether regions that were begging for attention to lap at them while Allen continues to touch her nipples and Kanda leaves marks on her neck.

"A-ah—" it felt good. Very good. She writhes and Kanda ends up holding her down by her arms as her body moves of its own accord, arching into mouths and fingers. Her legs thrash until Lavi clamps down on those, and she is helpless to move as they pleasure her.

The climax that she experiences is better than any other time. It travels through her groin and spine and Kanda has to muffle her with a kiss even as her shoulders fall back and she is lost in ecstasy and it brings tears again to her eyes. When she comes back down, it is to all three of them, and they take turns in kissing her.

"Did you like that?" Allen's eyes glow; all of them were flushed like she is.

"I did." She shakily brushes damp hair out of her eyes. "Thank you."

"Well, it's hardly over."

"But—"

Allen puts a finger over her lips, and then the three of them strip. Despite having just climax, she sighs when sees their naked forms. Bodies that she knows intimately, just like how they know hers.

She still doesn't know how this is going to work…

_-|||:|||-_

Thankfully, the three of them do. Lavi pulls Allen towards his erection while he tugs Kanda by the first for a kiss. Kanda doesn't like this; he shoves Lavi until Lenalee presses up against him, lips making a trail down his spine.

Kanda always tastes of passion and spring. Some would think he would be more like winter but it's not so. His body is not cold at all. In fact, he always runs warm, no matter how cold it is outside. Lavi remembers this taste from past meddlings with Kanda when they were both too eager one night. And Kanda remembers as well. He breaks off the kiss to slip Lavi's fingers into his mouth. Meanwhile, Allen pours attention on his cock and he has a hard time restraining himself until Allen pulls away.

He wants Lenalee. Badly so. But she needs time; instead he looks at her.

"You can tell us what you want us to do, Lena."

Her eyes widen; she doesn't quite understand.

"I think he means to say that if you want me to make Kanda come, or have Lavi inside me, or anything, we'll do it." Allen puts a hand out on her knee. "Anything you want."

She crosses her legs, and Lavi thinks of running his lips over her calves. "Lavi…inside K-Kanda." Her voice breaks as her flush deepens. "I wouldn't know how males do it."

"Oh, it's quite simply, really." Allen sits next to her and nods to Lavi.

He can't quite contain his smirk. Kanda looks one moment ready to kill him, but he really does care about Lenalee. He turns over onto his back and spreads his legs, towards Lenalee and erection up in the air. Lavi steps down to rummage through a drawer before finding oil. He rubs it over his fingers.

"It takes a little preparation, though."

"Mm." Lenalee has tucked herself against Allen while Lavi begins slipping his first finger in. Kanda, ever stoic, does not even flinch. "How long?"

"Three fingers, maybe four. Depends on how much Kanda can take."

"Fuck you, Moyashi."

"Again with the language." Lavi purposefully jabs, and for a millisecond Kanda tenses. He adds a finger. Allen has begun stroke Lenalee, while her hand finds his stiff member and touches it. Lavi is aware of this, and he hurriedly slips in a third finger. It takes a few exploratory pushing to find what he's looking for, and is rewarded by Kanda gripping the bedsheets.

"It feels quite nice," Allen says softly. He swallows audibly. "Lenalee…" He presses a hand over hers to stop her motions.

"But—"

"I can wait." He keep his hand over Lenalee's entrance, working his thumb against the small area that made her toes curl.

Lavi is painfully hard when he finally lines himself up with Kanda's passage and begins to enter as slow as he can manage. The tone of Allen's voice tells him just how close he is. He thrust himself in and out, until Kanda is an uncomfortable mess. He makes little sound, but the way he tosses his hand and clenches his teeth is enough. He watches as Lenalee comes again against Allen's hand

It nearly gets him off and he tightly buries himself into Kanda, groaning.

"Fuck," he breathes.

Kanda reaches up to slap in on the side of the head. "Idiot rabbit." He's still hard, as was Allen. They were going to prolong this.

He frowns, but Lenalee saves him though, by telling Kanda he and Allen can do each other while she can take him in her mouth.

_-|||:|||-_

Kanda turns on Allen with a gleam. Allen responds by smashing their mouths together so hard that their teeth click and his lip starts bleeding. The taste of salt and copper Kanda swallows, his fingers against Allen's throat. He grips tightly until Allen hooks his left hand around his erection and gives it sharp tug.

They pull apart. Lenalee has the back of her hand pressed to her mouth, still flushed. Lavi apparently is bad at not touching himself, for his fingers are twisting the tip of his cock, even as he reassures her this is common for Kanda and Allen to fight.

"You gave this bad reputation, Kanda…" Allen's knee bumps into his thigh.

"You don't always have to fight with me, Moyashi."

"Allen."

"I'll call you whatever I want, you fucking idiot."

"Then I'll call you Jerkanda as much as I want to."

"Fuck you."

The bed creaks just a little more as Kanda shoves Allen down. The skinny beansprout doesn't take this; he ends up struggling until they finally end up grinding against each other.

"You're not winning today," he manages to say as his hands dig into Kanda's buttocks.

The dark-haired Exorcist keeps a hand on their joined members, squeezing and flexing his hands. "Try to say that when I won't let you off." Allen is vocal where Kanda is not. He makes breathy little sounds and moans that threaten to undo him. It affects Lenalee, who sucking on Lavi. His knuckles are white from the effort of not bucking into her mouth, lest she gag.

Allen forcefully thrusts his pelvis against Kanda, as if daring him to come first.

Kanda isn't going to take that. Not even as his mind registers Lenalee climbing on top of Lavi so that her entrance is against his lips, while her own tongue is tracing a vein in Lavi's erection and it leaves him more frustrated than ever.

The damn beansprout was not going to get the best of him.

It's because he wants Lenalee; entering Allen is a thought, but he remembers how her curves felt against his skin and how she clings to him when he takes her.

He rolls off Allen and somehow manages to keep his release at bay. Not for much longer, though.

Lenalee ends up coming again, not even bothering to hide her sounds. She's shakier than before, but her eyes are brighter, more alive than he's ever seen her.

Kanda leaves Allen for Lenalee, to pull her into his arms as he showers kisses on her heated skin.

_-|||:|||-_

Allen is truly getting the short end of the stick, being pushed around. So end Lavi cups him by the balls, he exhales.

"You can fuck me, Lavi," he says easily.

"That's what I like to hear." Lavi positions him on his hands and knees, prepping him like he did Kanda a short while ago. Allen rests his head in his arms, sucking air in and out. Sounds made by Lenalee fills his ears and he half-wishes he were the one in Kanda's position.

"You're missing quite the sight," Two fingers are in him, working themselves in and out.

"Nnn."

"I think we made Kanda jealous."

"He always angry about one thing or the other but never at her—hn." He shudders when Lavi adds a third finger and he accidentally bites down on his lip, making it bleed again.

"At least see the look in his eyes."

He raises his head and oh. Kanda's gaze is intense as he rocks against Lenalee. He's not even inside her, and yet they seem very much in tune.

Then Lenalee turns to look at him, lips parting, and he knows that as good as Kanda feels, he is just as good. So is Lavi. All of them her really hers.

Lavi hits the right nerves and he nearly comes as his knees buckle.

"Move a bit."

"Why?" He doesn't want to.

"I think I know how to finish this…if Kanda can stop moving for a bit." His explanation makes it seem easier than it really is.

Kanda leans up against the headboard, holding Lenalee until he can slip inside her. Lavi pushes himself up against them, legs tangling with Kanda's, while Allen eases himself down onto Lavi's erection. He can now lean forward to caress Lenalee, while his own needs are fulfilled.

Before they begin moving, he looks back at Lavi with an accusatory glare. "You've thought about this."

"Maybe." Lavi pushes his hips up, making Allen hiss. "Don't tell me you're not enjoying this."

"Of course it's obvious!" He pushes himself up and slowly down. "T-take is as a compliment."

Or something.

It's hard to speak when you distracted.

_-|||:|||-_

The sound of Kanda breathing against her neck, hot and insistent, while he is inside her, lets her know she is not dreaming. So do the little moans that Lavi makes as he pumps himself in and out of Allen, who is leaving marks on her collarbone.

Lenalee shamelessly moves her hips, her breathing hitching as desire spurs her on. She catches wraps her arms around his neck, to pull him as close as possible to her in order to kiss him once again. His taste is different from Kanda and Lavi's. He smells different and feels different. The three of them are not one person. They're uniquely different and they made her feel differently.

Allen groans as he climaxes first. His fingers tangle in her hair as he moans into her mouth and as his eyes roll, and something drips between them. She reaches out to squeeze the last of his release from it. It coats her fingers and she thinks about putting them in, but Allen takes her hand and licks each digit clean, eyes never once leaving hers.

It weakens her right at the moment Kanda reaches his peak and fills her, thrusts more forceful. Her knees snap up as she cries out and shakes; Kanda catches her, his hands combing through her tousled hair until. Allen rubs her a few more times, prolonging her sensations until it feels as she has come again and again, until it is fully drained out of her and she quiets herself even as Lavi finishes, his fingernails scouring red marks down Allen's back.

They're a mess, but a beautiful mess, she thinks as Kanda pulls out of her, Lavi doing the same. She can't get enough of them, ever. To know them well would take more time.

"I love you." The word 'you' has become plural, not singular, and they understand this. Allen, ever polite, takes her hand and kisses the back of it. Kanda continues stroking her hair, while Lavi lifts her leg up and kisses the scar from her Innocence.

She didn't have to choose.

She was theirs, and they were hers.