A/N: I have to apologize for how long this chapter took to post. I wasn't finished with it when I posted chapter 3 and after reading the original chapter 4 over (and having someone else read it), I was really unhappy with it. So...a rewrite was in order. That took some time. And that time ran into my son's Spring Break and our trip to CT to visit my Mom. Long story short, I'll never start posting before I'm done with a story again. It makes me entirely too twitchy to go so long between chapters.

All that being said, thanks to Chellero for making this a much better chapter than the first version ever even thought of being. Your insights and suggestions are always welcome, my friend. You see the things I don't and I'm grateful.

And thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and been so patient with me. Being a part of this fandom is something special.

The sun peeked through the blinds in Joss's bedroom and woke John from a light sleep. Looking at the clock on her nightstand, he saw that it was still early. He hadn't slept as well as he had the last few nights. He figured it was because he was feeling better. So much better, he was getting antsy. He hadn't had to take the pain meds for the last few days and the fog was finally lifting. Dr. Franklin had been surprised at how well he'd healed and had given him the go-ahead to resume normal activities again, with only a few limitations. His mind wouldn't stop racing with the implications of that…

Today was his last day being a guest in the Carters' home. Guest. He could honestly say they'd never made him feel like one. He felt like he belonged here. Like he finally fit somewhere. He didn't want to leave, but he knew it was for the best. They couldn't stay in this cocoon forever; real life had to intrude eventually. It always did.

John turned his head and glanced down at Joss laying next to him. She'd been so careful the first night they'd slept in the same bed; she'd been afraid to hurt him. Instead of reaching for each other like they both wanted to, they'd turned on their sides and just...talked. They'd talked for hours. He'd told her things he'd never told anyone. He was amazed at how close he'd felt to her in those moments and they'd barely even touched each other. She'd held his hands under her chin as he spoke, running her fingers over his knuckles, and just listened. It was the most intimate conversation he'd ever had.

A few days later and they'd fallen into a routine of sorts. He'd get into bed first, get comfortable, and she'd slide in after him. It had taken her a day or so before she'd allowed herself to get close enough for him to get his arms around her.

This morning though, she was curled close to him and he couldn't have been happier. The feel of her pressed against his side, her arm over his stomach, one of her legs between his...he felt content for the first time in a long time.

He wasn't looking forward to telling her about his plan to go back to work. Yes, he would take it easy for a while, take the safer jobs and let Shaw take the others, but he knew she would argue and worry and tell him he needed more time. It was just who she was and he accepted that about her. Just as she'd accepted everything about him to his utter amazement. And he was starting to enjoy having someone who worried about his well-being.

A big part of him wanted to get comfortable with the way things were, to learn to relax, to have something normal. But another part kept telling him that what he had with her right now couldn't last no matter how much he wanted it to. Those two sides continued to battle for dominance.

She'd told him that she wanted this, that they could make it work...

And he wanted to believe her.

He wanted it more than his next breath.

He'd given up on the idea of ever feeling this way about anyone, but she'd hit him like a ton of bricks right from the beginning. He knew it had taken her longer considering how they'd met, but even though she hadn't said the words, her actions, the soft way she was only around him, made him confident that she felt the same. And the love he felt for her helped to beat back the devil whispering in his ear telling him he couldn't have both.

He could.

And they would.

Reese traced his fingertips down over her shoulder and down her arm, teasing her fingers with his. Her grip on his stomach tightened a little as she slowly woke. She snuggled against him deeper, fighting waking up, but he leaned in and kissed her nose, her eyelids, and finally her lips.

"If it's before seven, I might have to hurt you." She pressed her nose against his side and rubbed it against his ribs.

He should have known she wasn't a morning person. "I think I can handle you. Besides, I need a couple of hours...so it's time to wake up."

He felt her pause and contemplate that statement in her sleep-fogged brain. He couldn't help but smile. She wasn't going to know what hit her, but it was time. It was time for both of them. They needed to let go and enjoy each other. He needed her with a fierceness he'd never experienced.

She rested her chin on his chest. "A couple of hours? For what?"

Reese turned his head and looked down to her, his eyes hooded. At the same time, he took her hand resting on his chest and kept watching as he slowly slid it down under the blanket covering them both. Her eyes grew wide as their hands came to rest on his boxer-covered erection.

She caught her breath and her voice cracked. "John...we can't..." She didn't pull her hand away, though, but teased him with her fingertips.

His eyes closed at the sensation and her feeble attempt at an argument; he knew this was what they both wanted. "No, Joss, no more waiting. I'm fine; we both know it. We need this." Turning back and gripping her face with his hand, he kissed her. "Do you have any idea how much I want you?"

She smiled against his mouth. "Oh, I think I have a clue..." The smile grew a little wider as his hips lifted and pressed into her hand. "Maybe as much as I want you."

Reese pulled her hands up and lifted them over her head, rolling over on top of her. "If that's true, we might not live through this."

She pressed her center against him, felt his answering slow thrust. "Mmmm...but what a way to go, don't you think?"

"When my time is up, I think I'd like it to be when I'm old and grey and wrapped in your arms, thank you." He nuzzled her neck. Running his hand down her side, he slipped it under her tanktop, brushing her breast with his fingertips.

Her mind still processing his words of a future between them, a future at all, she let go of a quick gasp when he took her nipple between his fingers. Collecting herself, she grinned at him and brushed his temple with the back of her fingers. "I think you have at least one of those covered already."

He raised his eyebrows, sent her an evil grin, and slid his hands to her sides. "Are you calling me old?"

As he teased her, she barked out a laugh and tried to squirm out of his reach, "No, not old...no...damn it, Reese! Stop tickling me!" She brought her knees up, but that only resulted in him sinking deeper between her thighs.

"I might not be twenty anymore, but what I lack in stamina, I make up for in skill. Want me to show you?" He pressed his burgeoning erection against her.

The way his voice lowered sent a sweet shiver through her body. Locking her one good ankle around his leg, Joss ran her hands up under his shirt and over his back. She kissed him slowly, thoroughly. "I'm sure you could give any twenty year old a run for his money, John, but I'm not interested in a twenty year old. Why would I be when I have... this?"

He helped her pull off his t-shirt and tossed it across the room, eyeing her tank top and smirking. While her hands were busy running over his chest, Reese tugged at the hem of her shirt, pulling it up. "Lift, woman."

She did and Reese caught his breath at the sight of her. "You were hiding all this under your work clothes? If I'd known that..."

Joss giggled against his shoulder. "Stop it."

"No, I won't. You're..." he bit his lip, searching for the right word. "You're flawless, Joss. I'm a lucky man."

Tears pricked her eyes without consent and she smiled up at him, her hand reaching up to caress his jaw. "John..."

"I am. I've known since the day we met that you'd be trouble for me, but I didn't let myself imagine it would be this kind of trouble...very often." A light blush colored his cheeks, his ears, as he grinned down at her. "I won't say I never hoped but God, Joss...you're here."

She brought her foot up and caught his boxers with her toes, dragging them over his hip. Laughing as his eyebrows shot up again, she kissed the base of his throat and dragged her tongue up to his lips. Against them, she breathed, "We're here. And we're going to be so good together."

"It's taken us long enough..."

"Well, if you'd stop getting yourself shot..."

Reese shimmied the rest of the way out of his boxers and pulled the comforter over them. "I'll see what I can do about that." He punctuated each word with a kiss in a different spot, moving lower with each one.

Reaching her bellybutton, he grinned up at her and took the top of her panties between his teeth, tugging them down. He heard her laughing again, felt her hands dragging through his hair. His heart was light. This wasn't the time for somber moods or deep talks; they'd have plenty of time later. Now was about enjoying what they had.

Hooking his thumbs on either side, he slid her panties down her legs...until he got to her cast. He pulled on it a couple of times before looking up at her. She was biting her bottom lip, trying her best not to laugh out loud.

He swore he heard, "skills, huh?" Raising one eyebrow at her, he cocked his head. "You think this is funny?"

She pulled her lips between her teeth and shook her head. Her body shook with suppressed laughter.

Reese trailed his eyes up her body, clenching his jaw at the sight of her, at how badly he wanted her, but damn, this was fun. As serious as their individual lives were, the fact that they could have fun and play with each other like this, here, said a lot about them together.

"I hope you don't like these very much..."

"John..." Her voice held a touch of warning, a touch of humor.

He hooked his fingers in the edges and ripped them in half. Holding them up to her, he waved them like a tiny, silken victory flag, a grin splitting his face.

That did it; she burst out laughing. A full-belly, head-thrown-back laugh. "God, you're impossible!" And she couldn't believe how incredibly turned on she was...that smile she so rarely saw from him...not to mention ripping those panties off of her...they'd done things to her...

Her laugh turned into a gasp of pleasure as he caught her off guard by brushing his nose through her neatly trimmed curls. Drawing his hands down to her knees, he spread them...and planted slow, wet kisses everywhere but where she wanted him. Her deep moan told him as much and he grasped her hand, threading their fingers together.

"John, you don't...I'm ready...please..."

"Shhhh..." the warmth of his breath spread over her, making every inch of her tingle and gooseflesh rise on her arms. "I need a taste of you, Joss...wanted it for so long..."

When he slid a finger into her, her only rational thought was "playtime's over" and then her mind went blank as his tongue sliced between her folds.

He teased and tasted and sucked at her until he could no longer control the movement of her hips. She thrust against his mouth and fingers, her breath coming in quick gasps, his name the sweetest sound he'd heard in a long damn time.

Or so he'd thought.

The noise that escaped her as she broke against his mouth was by far the sexiest, most arousing sound he'd ever heard. And he wanted to hear it again and again.

When she finally came down and opened her eyes, her pupils were dilated and focused on his. He squeezed her hand gently, realizing that she hadn't let go, that she'd kept that connection to him the whole time. He ran his thumb over her palm and leaned up, kissing each finger.

"You're right; we might not survive this..." Her voice was breathless still, but he heard the touch of humor in it. She pulled on his hand, drawing him up to lay next to her as her heart rate slowed down; his hand traced over her legs, her stomach, her breasts, with feather-light touches, as he moved up.

"I'm just getting started." He reached up and turned her head, kissing her softly. "You're beautiful..."

She blushed again and smiled, tucking her head into the crook of his shoulder. Her hands caressed his back down to his hip, her fingers brushing his wound. The puckered scar was still red and angry, but looked like it was healing nicely.

The furrow appeared in her brow as she gently ran her fingertip over it. He could almost hear her thoughts, her regret, her worry, and he lifted her chin with his fingers. "Stop it. I'm fine. Just another to add to my collection."

She shook her head and he watched with fascination as the tears gathered in her eyes. This strong, independent woman with the amazing capacity for love and tenderness was his. He didn't want her crying over this. He needed to see nothing but want in her incredible brown eyes. Want for him. Want for this. His heart ached for it.

"Joss. No. Not now; not here." He leaned in and kissed her again, rolling over on top of her, his knees teasing hers apart again. He could feel the heat of her against his length and wanted nothing more than to slide into that warmth.

"John..."

"No."

She looked up at him, the quick change in his tone of voice startling her.

His hand came up, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip, but he didn't look at her. He took a deep breath, willing himself some control, and lowered his voice. "It's our time. We deserve this."

When his eyes finally connected with hers, Joss read the truth in his eyes. They'd always been so expressive, but this morning...this morning she saw everything she felt for him reflected back to her in those amazing grey-blue eyes.

As if a switch had been flicked, she pushed him off of her and over onto his back, pulling a laugh and a smirk out of him. When she straddled his thighs and wrapped her hand around his erection a second later, the smirk disappeared.

"Joss..." Her name came out on a gasp as she slid down his legs, her hand gliding over him slowly. He reached for her, but she batted his hand away as she smiled.

"You had your fun, John...now it's my turn."

"I was hoping it was fun for...oh God..." Anything else he was going to say was lost as her mouth drew him in, her tongue and lips tracing every inch of him. Teasing him like he'd teased her. His hands gripped the sheets so hard he was sure he'd tear them. As much as he wanted to watch her, the sensation, knowing that she was between his legs with her mouth taking him deep, caused his eyes to slam shut.

She could hear the deep breaths he was taking between his teeth, trying to control himself, trying to keep himself from thrusting into her mouth. She wanted him to want her beyond reason, beyond thinking of his precious control. Hollowing her cheeks, she drew him a little deeper, a little harder...

"Christ...Joss..."

Threading his fingers through her hair, she waited for him to hold her to him, to press her harder, but he didn't...even in this state, he was thinking of her, his fingers just brushing gently through her hair, and she wanted nothing more in the world than to bring him to completion.

"Not like this, baby...not the first time..." His voice was so soft, so breathless, she almost missed it. She looked up to see him staring at her, his eyes a deep blue now even in the morning light, and she couldn't look away as he watched her hand move in time with her mouth. The strength of the look, the force of the desire in his eyes, rocked her.

He gave in for a few more seconds just to watch her and take his pleasure. When his hand reached out and touched her jaw, he didn't have to say another word. She released him with a slow swipe of her tongue and crawled over his body, her hair brushing his stomach and chest, until they were face to face again.

Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her softly, slowly, savoring the feel of her against him. Even if someone had held a gun to his head, he wouldn't have been able to hold back his next words...

"I love you."

He felt her stiffen and he held his breath, his own body rigid with nerves. When she lifted her head to look at him there were tears in her eyes and her hand covered her mouth. His own hands landed on her hips heavily, his heart feeling like it had stopped pumping blood to his brain.

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes; he hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that, knowing that it would probably scare her. He hadn't been able to stop the words though, not when he was bursting with what he felt for her. "Joss...I'm sor-"

The sound of her gasp and the light slap of her fingers on his lips forced Reese to open his eyes, his grip on her hips tightening.

His eyes searched out hers and found her glaring at him. "Don't you dare say you're sorry. I'll never forgive you if you say you're sorry. What the hell's wrong with you? You don't tell a woman you love her and then apologize." She swiped at her eyes and let out a quick, breathless laugh.

"The way you looked at me..." He was lost. Completely. The tears...her surprise...he didn't even want to hope at what it meant. He'd always been confident around women, knew how to use his looks and charm to get what he wanted. But it had always been about the work. Until now. Now it was personal and he was completely under her spell. With a smile, he realized only Joss could come in, steal his heart and render him no better than a twelve year old boy. And the best part was she had no idea the power she had over him; it just came completely natural to her.

She sat up on his thighs, paying no mind to her nudity. "The way I looked at you? You mean that startled, "oh my God, yes!" look I just gave you? That one?"

He bit down on his lip trying not to grin at her, his heart restarting with a loud thump in his chest. Here she was trying to be indignant, but all he could see was that beautiful skin and her breasts so close to his mouth. "Yeah, that's the one."

"So, of course, you being who you are, immediately think the worst just because I was a little stunned that the man I've been in love with for God knows how long finally tells me he loves me. Gee, John, I'm sorry about that."

Wait. What?

Reese blinked a couple of times and shook his head, looking at her with wide eyes. "What?" His voice cracked and he grimaced. So much for that confidence...

She cocked her head and crossed her arms over her chest which, from Reese's point of view, was really not helping him focus on the situation at hand.

Her eyebrows came up and she licked her lips, the corners of her mouth twitching with a suppressed smile. "Your hearing going too, old man?" She trailed her finger down the center of his chest, dipping into his bellybutton.

Reese grabbed her hand and flipped them over so quickly she could only let out a small squeak of surprise. Taking her other hand in his and raising both of them over her head, their bodies rested against each other from knees to chests. She could feel him hard and hot between her legs. She cursed the cast on her leg, but raised the other and ran her foot down the back of his calf, drawing a hiss from him as he settled deeper into the vee of her thighs.

"Joss..." He kissed the base of her throat, then rubbed his nose along her jaw. "Again..."

She pulled her hands from his grasp and took his face between them, kissing his lips softly, knowing what he needed. "Look at me."

He lifted his head, his face nearly giving away the fear he'd just swallowed, but she saw more than that. She saw the truth of the words he'd spoken without a second thought.

He loved her.

"I knew, you know. I think I've known all along..."

Confusion knit his brows together, but he couldn't speak, not with the way she was looking at him, so full of love and desire.

"You've said it so many times without words; you probably don't even realize it. I think I was afraid to see it, to hope. I'm sorry I wasn't as brave as you." Her hands ran across his back and came to rest on his ass, pulling him closer. Leaning in and running her nose over his ear, she whispered, "I can be brave right now though with you here. You've always made me feel so strong and loved and..."

"Joss...," he ground out against her, his control slipping. His grip tightened and he started a slow thrust against her. "Please..."

"I love you."

With a groan and a flick of his hips, he slid into her heat.

Both of them held their breaths. Reese was the first to let it out with a quick, strained laugh, but he still didn't, couldn't, move.

Tightening around him, she leaned back and ran her finger over his cheek. "What are you laughing at?" Her voice quiet, her smile soft, she pressed a kiss to his lips.

He lifted his head and gave her a small, tight grin.

She could see the tension, the blush, on his face and cupped his jaw. "John?"

"If I move, it's going to be over. Give me a second." He slid his hands under her and leaned down, his nose skimming her face, memorizing her scent, the feel of her skin against his. "God, you feel incredible."

He held her so tightly, trying to keep a rein on his control. She didn't understand this need of his, especially right now. It was ridiculous.

She took his earlobe between her teeth and tugged. "Let go, John. I won't be far behind you, baby..."

He swallowed hard, shook his head.

There was only one thing she could do...it was time to bring out the big guns. Still with his lobe between her lips, she used her nails over his shoulders and down his back. Up and down slowly, teasing his skin.

When she thought she might have lulled him, she pulled her leg up again and wrapped it over his hip, tightened her inner walls around him, and whispered, "I love you, John, take what you need..."

His whole body tensed and he muttered, "Shit..." as his hips pistoned up and back into her. He pulled her tight against his body, one hand under her back, the other holding himself up to angle his thrusts.

On and on it went. Slowly then quickly. Harder. Then a gentle thrust into her again. He kissed lips, her jaw, her neck as he moved. His hands, first around her back, never stopped moving. He caressed every inch of her as if he were mapping her, memorizing her. She could only hold on for dear life as he took her over the edge again with a intensity she'd never experienced.

Moments later, he followed her with a groan that sounded suspiciously like her name and love and one or two deities mixed together.

He'd blacked out.

It was the only explanation he could come up with as he opened his eyes and found her grinning up at him, her hands running over his back and through his hair. He leaned his forehead on her chest and wrapped his arms around her. "Jesus, Joss...we might not live through this."

"You might not, but I just had two of the best orgasms of my life; I'm pretty wound up at the moment." For emphasis, she ran her foot over his calf again and took a quick nip of his shoulder.

"Two of the best, huh?" He licked his lips and found hers, teasing them open with his tongue.

She slapped him gently on the ass and giggled, "Mmm hmm...two of the absolute best. Feel better? I'm sure you were so worried..."

With his arms around her, he rolled them over so she lay on top of his chest. "Worried? No. More like focused...I wanted this to be perfect...for you...for both of us. It took us so long to get here."

Her face softened and she moved up to kiss him gently. "It couldn't have been more perfect."

"Yeah?" His hands roamed slowly over her skin. The skin he wanted to know better than his own. "For me too..."

She only nodded and closed her eyes as his hands slid up and covered her breasts, his thumbs running over her tight nipples. Just the thought of having her again had his body reacting. "This is happening, isn't it? You meant what you said."

"Every word. I love you. I guess I've loved you for a long time." Sliding down his body, she flicked her tongue over his nipple, drawing a gasp from him. "Is that so hard to believe?" When she looked up at him, she could almost see the argument going on in his head about how he should answer her question.

It took him a moment to respond, his mind running over the things he could say. He settled on the truth since he knew she wouldn't accept anything less. "At one time, it might have been; I'm getting better at believing, learning to trust my heart. You see, I've had a very good teacher."

She took his face in her hands. "We've been through a lot of shit together, John Reese." Kissing him softly, she brushed her cheek against his. "We make a damn good team...in everything we do together." She pulled back and winked at him, smiling.

"Yes, I think we do."

"Now...," her voice lowered and she sat up, crossing her arms. "Let's talk about this plan for you going back to work too damn soon..."

"I have a better idea..." He rolled them over again, pinning her under him and bracketing her hands with his. He kissed down her neck, across the top of her breasts. "...let's not talk at all."

She closed her eyes tightly, savoring the sensation, knowing she'd let him off the hook. At least for now. "Mmmm...ok...you've convinced me."

"Somehow I doubt I'll be allowed much of a reprieve..."

Gasping as his hand slid down to cup her, her voice came out rushed and breathless. "As long as you keeping doing..." he slipped a finger into her. "...that...God, John...yeah, I think you're golden..."

He smiled against her skin as she reached down to grasp him. "Such impatience, Joss..."

"I like to call it...making up for lost time."

As he slid into her again, he was hit with a feeling he hadn't had in over a decade.

He had all the time in the world.

end