Let Her Go

He knew he loved her, he just never knew love could hurt quite this much. Finns thoughts after dropping Rachel off at the train station. Set at the end of Season 3.

I watched as she stepped onto the train. The train that was going to take her from me. I had to be strong, couldn't let her see how much this was hurting me as well. I knew the whole glee club were standing there with me, but I'd never felt so cold and alone in my life. It was like she was the sun and without her life was eternal night. I stared up at her through that window, waving and trying to force a smile. The train started moving. I wasn't ready to let her go. Please, I begged it, I need her.

I didn't notice myself start walking beside it, all I could see was her. As if she was my entire world. To be honest she is. In that bright red coat, which just screams out "I am Rachel, future star." The train started to speed up and I ran along beside it. I could see her hand pressed against the window. Her tiny hand that was practically half the size of mine, and was always cold no matter what. I would give anything to just be able to hold it one more time. To pull her into a hug and tell her how much I love her. To pretend to be listening when she goes off on one of her Broadway rants. Just to have her there with me.

But I have to do this. For her. She is destined to be great, who am I to hold her back. She can't stay in Lima for another year. I can't be the one to get in the way of her dreams. If she stayed, she'd resent me for it. She may not even realise it but she would.

I couldn't keep up any more. The train was too fast. I reached out my hand to her, but she was slipping through my fingers, again. I stopped running when I could no longer see her or the bright red fabric of her coat. I sank down until I was sitting there in the middle of the platform. People could stare all they wanted, I'd just lost my everything and wasn't sure I actually had the strength to stand anymore.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Puck. I forgot that the Glee Club had been here. Distantly I knew that I really didn't want them to see me like this, especially Santana, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care.

Kurt seemed to be trying to get rid of everyone else, I'd thank him later. Puck took more convincing than the others, but eventually it was just me and my brother. I felt Kurt sit next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and finally allowed the first tear to fall.

"I miss her already." I said quietly. Kurt was the only one who'd cared for her anywhere near as much as I had. He loved her as well, in a different way, but he still loved her.

"You did the right thing." He assured me.

"How come the right thing feels this wrong?" I asked him.

"The right thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do. There may be some struggles and difficulties but in the end, you will be happy that you did what was right." He recited.

"Where did you get that from, Mr Philosopher?"

"I saw it on the internet. But it's the thought that counts, right?"

I felt a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Thanks Kurt."

I knew I had done what needed to be done. For Rachel

And you let her go