Part 11

Rebellion

For days, Haymitch had been trying to uncover Beetee's plan with the bombs, although after years of knowing him, he doubted Beetee designed it without someone telling him to and that person would surely be Coin. He divided his time between Command and Special Defense but soon found that his efforts were waylaid by the decreasing strength of Squad 451 as more and more deaths were reported back with each passing day. His worry for Katniss trumps the nagging unsettling feeling he had about the bombs.

The news that Peeta had been sent out to join the squad without him being consulted on the matter sent Haymitch into a fit.

"Perhaps he will be able to help Katniss – "

"She's trying to have Katniss killed," he thundered.

"Please, Haymitch, calm down," Effie bit her lower lip as she laid a gentle hand on his arm.

He pulled it away, his hands shaking. Haymitch rubbed his face tiredly.

He has lost so much weight. Thirteen isn't good for him.

"You know how Peeta is like," he gestured wildly. "Sending him over will do nothing to help him. He's not… He's not in a state to be - It's painfully obvious what Coin's trying to do."

Have an episode and kill Katniss? That can't be true. He loves her.

Haymitch snorted. "Peeta thinks Katniss' a mutt, a danger to him."

It felt like the Games again with both of his kids in the Capitol while he watched over them from behind a screen, waiting for a time when one of them would make a wrong move and end up dead.

Soon, things went back to how it once was with Haymitch spending most of his time in Command and the issue of the bomb took a secondary seat in his mind.

The confirmation of Finnick's death finally drove Haymitch out in search of Effie. Finnick was one of his. He had watched the fourteen year old boy grew to the man he was and throughout all that, Effie had been there with him. Nobody in Command shared that kind of sentimentality; nobody knew Finnick the way Effie and him did. Not even Plutarch who gave him a sympathetic glance as Haymitch exited the room.

There wasn't any real need for him to look for her because he could tell where she was just from her thoughts and it was not somewhere he wanted to be at the moment.

I understand that Annie is grieving but she has to think about the baby, too. She won't eat or sleep and it will do no good to -

Clenching his jaw, Haymitch tuned her out, stalking back to Command to occupy himself with something else. If Effie was with Annie then he really didn't want to intrude. Annie needed a friend more than he did, and being in their company meant that he would have to think about the child that would be born without a father. He didn't want to think about that, not yet, anyway.

The situation escalated quickly from there. Katniss went into hiding and Beetee was constantly breaking into the Capitol's airwaves to give sporadic updates on rebel activities. When the orders were given for them to depart for the Capitol, Haymitch was quick to demand Effie's presence.

"She's coming with me," he said.

Coin's lips curled into a disdainful smile, as though the mere idea of him being dependent on a Capitol woman offended her.

"But of course. We wouldn't want her to stay behind, no logical reason for that since she has a job to carry out at the Capitol after all."

XxX

I'm going back.

Effie sat on the hovercraft, staring at her hands, trying desperately to calm herself down. Haymitch could hear her counting down to ten, telling herself to breathe through the nose and out through the mouth.

It's okay. Nothing's going to happen. You're not going back to prison. It'll be fine. You'll be fine. Just do as you're told.

The pressure was beginning to build up from the base of his neck. By now, Haymitch was well acquainted with the tell-tale signs of an impending headache. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He supposed he should go over to calm her down but just as he was about to stand up, Beetee pressed something into his hand.

"Here. You should have it just in case if something were to happen to me."

On the palm of his hand, there was the same object he had picked up five years ago. It was strange how something so small could give him such insight into someone, bestowed upon him both a gift and a burden. Haymitch studied it carefully, noticing the pointed end where a small needle was fitted. The object held a blue serum within it, small in quantity.

"Same way," Beetee said. "Prickle your finger with that needle and it will end everything. No more thoughts, no more voice. It should work. Use it or don't use it – it's up to you."

Five years and it came down to this.

Haymitch nodded. "Thanks," he mumbled.

What are they whispering about? What's that on Haymitch's hand?

Do they know what's going to happen when we land?

Across from them, Effie gave a curious look. Haymitch curled his fingers into a fist before Effie could see the object. He slipped it into his jacket pocket and gave her a tight smile.

"So what's Coin's plan?" he turned towards Beetee who seemed surprise by his question.

"I thought you would know. You're in Command more than I do."

"Nah," Haymitch said. "I think I know just as much as you do. She's got control of the Capitol block by block and then what? Is she planning to storm the President's mansion?"

"That could very well be her plan all along but she has to take into account the refugees in the mansion."

"Has he opened it to Capitol refugees?"

"I don't know if he has and I don't know what her strategy would be," Beetee's eyes trailed over to where Plutarch was seated. Haymitch understood what he was thinking. "But those refugees are innocent."

"They'll be nothing but collateral damage to her."

Under her rule, District Thirteen had continued to survive, and that alone should prove that Coin wasn't someone that should be underestimated. She was definitely not stupid enough to put her eggs in one basket. He doubted even Plutarch knew the entirety of her plans.

Haymitch was not fully aware the extent of this invasion and at that point of time, it was not something he was particularly concerned with. Katniss was his concern and his duty. He had been assigned to the Mockingjay to guide and give advises, and any other war plans were told to him on a need to know basis. It frustrated him sometimes because it left him feeling helpless to watch Katniss being controlled and manipulated that way.

We're nearly there. I can already see the buildings!

Turning his attention towards her, Haymitch saw Effie with both her palms pressed against the window, watching the scene as the hovercraft continued its approach.

It doesn't feel the same anymore. I was always so happy to see the Capitol's skyline each time I leave home for Twelve. Why don't I feel happy? All I feel is dread.

"There has to be more than just storming into the mansion," Beetee whispered out of the corner of his mouth. His eyes darted around warily, afraid that someone might overhead him. "I've been designing bombs, Haymitch, and I've had several ideas that I noted down which Coin seemed keen on but I don't know what or when the bombs will be used, if at all. I did try to ask to find out but…." He shrugged. "I'm just an old man in a wheelchair right?"

XxX

Being in the Capitol was difficult for Haymitch and for Effie. Haymitch's self-control collapsed the moment the realisation set in that if he wanted to drink, he could walk down the hallway and get himself a drink. All those months in Thirteen made the craving so much more worse now.

I've earned this. I've been sober for months. I've earned a drink.

Haymitch spent his time in blurry haze. A glass of whiskey became three and soon the condition of his assigned room turned into a replica of his house in Victor's Village with empty bottles strewn all over and dirty plates and soil clothes littered the floor.

Throughout his stupor, Haymitch was vaguely aware of Effie's presence in his room at times. He heard her fretting and berating him both out loud and quietly to herself.

Oh, Haymitch, she sighed. Why are you doing this to yourself again?

Haymitch clutched the bottle close to his chest, afraid that she might take it away from him. The memories of the withdrawal he went through was still vivid and he was not willing to go through that again.

"I won't take it from you, you silly man," she shook her head.

He felt her fingers, light as a feather and gentle on his skin as she brushed his hair back.

"Effie," he whispered. His silver grey eyes were glassy as he looked up at him.

"Yes, it's me. Have you been drinking all morning?"

Haymitch didn't answer. Was it morning already?

"I'll get you something to eat but not in this state. I'm sorry for being rude but you smell horrible."

Come on then, Effie. This isn't the first time you've done this. Let's get him showered.

XxX

On the day of Snow's execution, Haymitch was sober. It wasn't by choice. Coin had summoned him two days before and personally issued a warning for him to stay away from his poison for that day. She concluded the brief meeting by giving Effie's clothes to him to be passed on to her. Coin could have easily ordered one of her soldiers to but she didn't. The meaning became clear to him – step out of line and Effie would answer.

A few hours before the scheduled execution, Haymitch went into Effie's room and laid the clothes out on the bed for her. Effie drifted away from the window towards him, staring transfixed at the metallic gold wig she had worn before.

Gold wig… We're a team, she thought as she recalled their conversation on the train a year ago. Her fingers moved through to the air and the moment it made contact with the silk fabric of her dress, Effie quickly withdrew her hand as if mere contact would destroy the material. I have not seen something so pretty in such a long time.

"These are my old clothes," she breathed out in amazement. "Someone must have retrieved them from the Penthouse."

Haymitch had nothing to say to that. For all it was worth, Coin could have sent someone to comb through the Penthouse. He leaned against the bed post, watching her.

This is it then. Exchange one uniform for another.

"Will you please turn around?" she asked quietly.

He complied without a word, giving her the privacy she needed until she asked for his help to zip her up. Effie shivered as his fingers brushed against the base of her spine.

"There, all done."

"Thank you."

The dress hung down her shoulders. Effie touched the shoulder pad, pushing on it with a frown and sighed loudly when she realised there was nothing she could do.

It doesn't fit me as it did before.

"It doesn't matter. It's only for today. Only for a few hours," said Haymitch, an attempt at comfort. Turning her around towards the mirror, he rested his hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "it's just an act, isn't it, sweetheart?"

An act… It has to be because I don't recognise that woman in the mirror anymore. She is not me.

"The escort is long gone. You're not her anymore. You're different; Effie Trinket, rebel. But this now, it's an act for the audience."

She caught his eyes through the reflection in the mirror and gave him a small smile.

A rebel… Haymitch thinks I'm different. This is what it takes for him to see me as one of his own?

Since Effie seldom voiced out what was on her mind, she said, "and sometimes, we must keep appearances to survive, don't we?"

Haymitch nodded and kissed her temple.

"Smiles on, sweetheart."

One last time. For Katniss.

XxX

Post-Rebellion

Once everything - including the time of Katniss' departure back to Twelve - had been agreed and settled, Haymitch was granted a little bit of freedom. There was still something he needed to do before he left.

He paid Effie a visit.

"It's good that you'll be responsible for Katniss," she told him as he followed her into the kitchen.

"Yeah? And why's that?"

"Better you than someone else, Haymitch. She knows you. Believe it or not, you're a father figure to her," she explained as she prepared the kettle. "Besides, it'll keep you occupied. Keep you busy enough so you won't be drinking too much," she turned towards him then. "I hope."

"You're always too optimistic."

That's about the only thing I have going on for me. To keep my heads up and see what tomorrow brings.

"So you're staying here?" Haymitch asked. He took the cup of tea Effie handed to him and walked out to the small living room. He looked around the one bedroom apartment. Effie had done a good job making the place habitable so far.

"I am, yes," she nodded.

"You could… Maybe…" he took a breath. "There are few houses in Victor's Village and not all of them are occupied."

Effie laughed lightly; the sound filling the room with such warmth.

Haymitch scowled. "What's so funny?" he growled.

"Nothing at all. My apologies. It's just… Thank you for the invitation, Haymitch. I appreciate it. I really do."

"But?"

"But… I don't belong in Twelve."

People need to heal and they don't need me there. I'm the person who reaped their children. They don't need me as a reminder. It won't be fair to them.

Haymitch started at that line of thought. He sat up straighter, staring intently at her.

"Effie –"

"I have to try and stay here. I have to rebuild my life."

"It doesn't have to be here."

"I grew up here, Haymitch. This is all I've ever known. I have to try at the very least."

"But if it doesn't –"

Work out? If I don't feel like I belong anymore?

"Then I will call you," she forced a smile on her face.

Knowing that it was futile to continue arguing, Haymitch exhaled slowly. "You do that, sweetheart."

For a long while, they sat next to each other on the floor in front of the bay window, watching the sun set hour by hour. It lighted up the sky in a soft pink glow amidst the smoke that still rose in plumes above the sky. The war was over and there was no demand on his time, at least not until tomorrow.

He glanced over at her. Her eyes were drooping close with her head resting against his arm.

"There's something that you should know," his voice rumbled and Effie lifted her head up. He couldn't really explain it but Haymitch started to feel nervous. He slipped his hand into the jacket pocket and curled his fingers around the device Beetee had given him a few weeks ago. "For the past few years…" he trailed off, unable to finish what he meant to say.

She was facing him now, her chin resting on her knees as she looked at him expectantly, blue eyes wide and riveted.

He couldn't do it. What was he thinking anyway? What difference would it make? He should have told her years ago so that she could at least try to filter her thoughts, to be careful with where her thoughts went but there was no point now. He was going back to Twelve and she would be here. He could still listen to her thoughts if he wanted to but if those busy times in Thirteen had taught him anything, he could muffle her just by keeping himself occupied. And maybe, just maybe, being able to listen in to her would have its advantage. He would miss her and when he does…

Is something wrong?

He didn't know how she would react if he told her. Surely she would be mortified and angry? If there was one thing that he knew, Haymitch didn't want to leave her on a bad note. It would be stupid of him to ruin this odd friendship that they have.

"What is it?"

There was a smile on his lips when he glanced up to look at her. "It may not worth much but I thought you'd like to hear it. For the past few years, five years give or take, I think I've gotten to know you really, really, well," he reached out to lace their fingers together, giving her hand a tiny squeeze. "You're a good person, sweetheart."

It must have been a very uncharacteristic gesture of him because for a full minute, Effie gaped at him before she recovered. For the first time that afternoon, she gave him a genuine smile. "And you're a good man. I hope you never forget that."

"I'll try."

"You're going to miss me, aren't you?" she teased.

"No," Haymitch snorted in amusement. "I doubt that very much."

I'll always have you with me.

Guided by his sense of touch alone, Haymitch was careful to keep the needle from piercing through his skin when he crushed the device. The cooling liquid seeped between the spaces in his fingers.

He can say what he wants but he'll miss me. The same way I'll miss him.

Thank you for reading through to the end. I never thought a crazy idea could lead to 11 chapters! Also, I know the ending left so much options open but I intended it that way. I hope you've enjoyed it and please leave a review. It would mean so much to me :) And now I hope I can go back to my regular scheduled update for Consortium!