Chapter 8

The flight to Portland was both blissful and torturous for Bonnie. After the decision to track Kai down, Damon compelled them into six seats on the first flight to Portland, first class, of course. He made sure that he was sitting next to Bonnie and he spent the entire trip nudging her elbow, whispering bad jokes to her, and constantly asking her if she was okay. Before the realization that she loved him, his attention wouldn't have made her stomach flutter or her heart beat faster. She didn't know whether to get closer or keep her distance, and it didn't help that every time her eyes locked with Caroline, her blonde friend smiled sympathetically.

When they landed, they commandeered a rental car and drove to an abandoned lot where the Gemini Coven was allegedly supposed to be.

"Empty," Stefan said. "Just like all the other times I came here."

Damon kicked a rock underneath his foot. "There must be something that we're missing."

"Yeah," Bonnie said. "Me."

He raised an eyebrow and she held up her hand and chanted a spell in Latin. Out of the empty space, a large house appeared, and Bonnie smiled at Damon.

"A cloaking spell," she said. "Bet you're happy I came now."

He smirked.

"Now what?" Ric asked. "The only one who can get inside is Bonnie."

Bonnie was about to respond, but Damon beat her to it.

"That's a no-go," he said. "We have no idea what's going on in there."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," Bonnie told him, as she took a step towards the house.

Damon grabbed her arm and turned her back to him.

"It's not happening, Bonnie. You may go in there and never come out."

"Then what are we going to do?" Ric asked, raising his hands in exasperation.

"Something else," Damon snapped. "We're not sacrificing Bonnie to save your girlfriend. Conversation closed."

"Now, now, now, no need to fight."

Everyone turned to the house, where Kai was standing at the front door, with Jo held captive in front of him. He had a knife to her throat and a sinister smile on his face.

"You guys are so cute," Kai mused. "Damon protecting Bonnie so valiantly. Ric wanting to charge in to save his lady. It's like a romantic comedy movie unfolding right in front of me."

"Give her back, Kai," Ric demanded. "Whatever you want..."

"What I want is to control my coven," he interrupted. "That's all I ever wanted, and nobody will give it to me. So I'll just have to take it myself. And it all starts with Jo-Jo here." He scraped the knife just slightly against her skin. "But don't worry. I won't kill her yet. At least not until the rest of my coven arrives to do the merge spell. I'd say you guys have about...oh...forty-eight hours to come up with your grand master plan to stop me. Then I merge with my beloved twin sister and become one of the most powerful witches on Earth." He smiled at Bonnie. "Other than you, of course. Until next time."

He walked back into the house, roughly pulling Jo with him, and he shut the door.

"What is he talking about?" Caroline asked.

Stefan sighed. "Let's get out of here and I'll explain."

They rode a few miles down the road and stopped at a cozy bed and breakfast run by an elderly couple. Damon compelled them to go on a vacation for a couple of days, leaving the house free for the six friends. They all gathered around the small living room, where Stefan explained the Gemini coven and how it worked. Kai had to merge with Jo and take all her power to become the leader of his coven. The only catch was that the entire coven had to convene in order to conduct the merging spell.

"He's probably not sure where everyone is," Stefan said. "So we've got a little time to work with. Not much, but maybe enough to stop it from happening."

They tossed around some ideas about how to take Kai down and when they didn't agree on a method, Bonnie excused herself to rest. She found a room with just one bed and settled in. She toed off her shoes, unzipped her hoodie and fell face down on the bed. Barely a minute passed before someone knocked on the door.

"Yeah," Bonnie said with her face still down.

The person didn't speak, but then Bonnie felt the weight of a body next to hers. She knew from the scent of perfume that it was Caroline, and when she looked at her friend, the blonde smiled.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Hunting."

"You're not hungry?"

"I am, but I figured I should check on you. You've been kind of avoiding me since the conversation about Damon and now I feel guilty."

Bonnie sighed and turned over until she was on her back, and Caroline did the same.

"You shouldn't feel guilty," Bonnie said. "You were just telling me how it is. I'm the idiot who didn't know I had somehow fallen in love with Damon."

"I'm sorry, Bon, I swear I wasn't trying to pull you down in my misery. I just didn't want someone to blow the lid off your feelings like Enzo did to me." Bonnie turned her head and arched an eyebrow. "He basically told Stefan how I feel about him. Then Stefan asked me about it, I confirmed it, and Stefan told me to jump off a bridge."

Bonnie laughed. "He did not."

"Okay, fine, he didn't, but he might as well have! He just stuttered like a moron and said he didn't know I felt that way, blah blah blah. God, it's so awkward now."

"He's probably just letting it all sink in. You know Stefan thinks about all the implications of things before he jumps in."

"I guess," Caroline said, rolling her eyes. "But is he really that blind that he didn't notice how I felt? We hung out all the time!"

"Yeah, but remember, he had Lexi for all those years. He's used to having a close girl friend that never becomes more than that."

Caroline turned her head to Bonnie and the girls stared at each other.

"What do you think I should do?" Caroline asked.

"Give him time. I don't think he ever thought of you that way before, but now that knows how you feel, maybe he will."

"You're right, you're right. Still sucks though."

"Yep."

"What are you going to do about Damon?"

"I have no idea. I could pretend like nothing's changed and act like we're just friends and that seeing him make moon eyes at Elena doesn't make me want to barf." Caroline chuckled. "Or I could take some space. I've been through a lot, you know? I just came back from a time warp, broke up with Jeremy and woke up from a coma. The last thing I need is a doomed attempt at romance."

"I think distancing yourself from him is a good idea," Caroline affirmed. "He and Elena still have their thing to work out and you don't need to get hurt."

"So it's settled. We're going to give the guys space and do our own thing."

Caroline offered her hand and Bonnie shook it.

"I'll let you rest," the blonde said. "Hang out later?"

"Yep."

After Caroline left, Bonnie took a shower and get into some comfortable pajamas. She got underneath the quilt on the bed and pulled out a trashy romance novel that she'd bought at the airport. The writing was awful but it felt good to do something so frivolous. She was getting to the good part when there was another knock, and she could tell it was Damon by the silly rhythm. She hated the way her heart sped up and she did her best to ignore it. She stuffed her book underneath a pillow and called for him to come in.

"Hey, judgey," he said as he sauntered in.

"Hey."

"Why are you all holed up in here?"

"Just tired, I guess."

"Want some company?"

She was going to tell him 'no,' but he plopped down beside her before she could speak. The bed was small so he squeezed his body in next to hers and she elbowed him.

"Move your big fat body," she said as she pushed him away.

"Fat?" he laughed. "Please. I'm lean and mean."

He rested his head on a pillow, then frowned and stuck his hand underneath the pillow. Bonnie's eyes widened when he pulled out her book and as she lunged for it, he held it out of her reach.

"My, my, my what is this?" he teased.

"Give it back, Damon."

"A little smut before bed?" he asked with a big grin. She tried and failed to take it again, but he kept it away. She gave up and he wiggled his eyebrows, opening to the dog-eared page. Her cheeks burned when his blue eyes widened and she knew he was reading the sex scene that she had just finished. "Bon-Bon, you're a dirty girl."

"I didn't write it!"

"No, but you're reading it. Is this what you want someone to do to you? Bend you over and stick his throbbing meat stick into your dripping love tunnel?"

Bonnie snatched the book away from him and he tossed his head back and laughed. She punched him repeatedly in the arm, but he kept laughing and she couldn't help but join. She tossed the book onto the nightstand and elbowed him again for good measure.

"Jackass," she said.

"You're naughty."

"Can we talk about something else please? Like, literally anything else?"

"Fine. Caroline and Stefan sure are being awkward, aren't they?"

"From one uncomfortable topic to another," she said with a fake smile.

"I saw this coming, you know. I knew once they started getting closer that Caroline would eventually fall in love with him. She's always had a thing for him. That's why men and women can never just be friends. Straight men and women, anyway," he said as he put his hands behind his head. "One person always has feelings for the other."

Bonnie frowned at him. "That's not true. I've had plenty of guy friends before."

"That just means that all the guy friends you thought were only friends actually wanted to bang you and you never noticed."

"Okay, what about Matt? We've been friends for years and he was head over heels in love with Elena, so you can't see he liked me."

"You liked him," Damon said with a confident smile. "I bet when you guys were little, you had a huge crush on him. Right or wrong?"

She wanted to lie, but she could tell from his shit-eating grin that he already knew the truth.

"Fine, but I don't like him like that anymore," she defended.

"No, but he likes you."

Her eyes widened in shock. "He does not!"

"He does. He stares at your ass all the time and gets all dumb-looking whenever you even cast a glance his way."

His response caught her off guard and as his smile widened, she tried to think of more examples.

"I don't like Stefan and he doesn't like me."

"Doesn't count. You're not really friends. You're acquaintances. It has to be a guy you actually spend time with, tell secrets to, yadda yadda yadda."

"Okay, fine, what about Stefan and Lexi?"

"Lexi was in love with him."

"You and Rose."

"Rose was in love with me," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You and Elena."

"Duh, I was in love with her."

Bonnie tried to think of any example that would prove that men and women could just be friends, and before she could think of the ramifications of it, she blurted out, "you and me."

She froze once the words left her mouth and she noticed the contemplative look on Damon's face. Her heart beat at triple speed as she worried about how he might respond. She felt pathetic about how desperately she wanted him to say something, anything, that would give her hope that maybe her feelings weren't completely one-sided. Damon smiled that lopsided smile and shrugged.

"There's an exception to every rule, Judgey."

Disappointment flooded her body, but she masked it with a short nod and attempted smile.

"And that's us, huh?" she asked.

"That's us. The bad-boy vampire and his good little witch."

Bonnie nodded again, wrapping her head around the fact that Damon would never see the way she saw him. In that moment, she knew that Caroline was right. She had to get some space from him before he unwittingly broke her heart.

"I'm sleepy," she said after a couple of moments of silence.

"You want me to stay?" he offered. "You sleep better when a manly man like myself is looking over you."

"That's okay," she said with another forced smile.

He narrowed his eyes. "You okay?"

"Mm hm. Just tired. It kind of hit me all at once."

"Okay. I'll be listening out for you."

She tried not to shirk away when he sat up and kissed her forehead. He told her good night and once he was gone, she sighed and fell back onto the bed. She thought back to their time together in 1994 and tried to pinpoint the moment she'd fallen for him, but she didn't know and she realized that it wouldn't change how she felt. Somehow, he had crawled into a space in her heart and taken over. Even as she thought about all the awful things he'd done, some of them to her, her heart didn't change.

A text message broke her out of her thoughts and she wasn't surprised to see that it was from him. She wanted to read it and respond and fall into their comfortable rhythm of their banter, but instead she deleted it and turned her phone off. If she was going to escape their friendship without getting hurt, she had to push him away, no matter how much it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Damon," she whispered into the air.

Then she turned the lights off and fell into a fitful sleep.

...

Something was up with Bonnie. Damon couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, but he noticed a marked change in her behavior, at least when it came to him. She seemed normal with everyone else, laughing and talking with Caroline and Elena, strategizing with Stefan and Ric, yet avoiding him almost entirely. She hadn't returned any of his hilarious text messages, she seemed to be trying to get as far away from him as possible, and every time they made eye contact, she looked like a scared rabbit. He had no idea what he had done to deserve such behavior, but he didn't like it. It made his stomach hurt in a weird way and he wanted it to stop.

So a couple of days after their arrival in Oregon, with Kai still on the loose at his family home and Gemini coven members slowly arriving, he decided to turn his attention to Bonnie. She was sitting on a couch, combing through a grimoire, and he plopped down next to her and crowded her personal space.

"Whatcha reading, witchy?" he asked.

He noticed how she stiffened and moved away slightly. "Uh, just trying to figure out how the Gemini witches do this merge spell."

"Can I help?" he asked, as he scooted closer again.

"No, I got it."

She moved slightly, and he followed. She moved again, and so did he, until she was trapped against the edge of the couch. He was literally breathing down her neck when she turned to him and looked annoyed.

"What?" she asked.

"What's going on with you?" he asked.

"Nothing. I was reading and then you decided to act like a weirdo."

"I'm not talking about the reading. I'm talking about how you won't talk to me and move away from me like I smell or something. Do I stink?"

She smiled just a little as she said, "no. You don't stink."

"Then what's your deal? You've been acting crazy since we hung out in your room the other night."

"Acting crazy? Really?" she asked dryly. "Or have I just been trying to figure out how to get rid of Kai so we can all go home?"

"That doesn't mean you have to be mean to me."

"I'm not," she said weakly.

He narrowed his eyes and then buried his nose in her neck and took a long whiff.

"Hey!" she said, as she pushed him off.

"You're not on your period," he stated. "So you can't blame that for being rude."

"Oh my God, you did not just smell me to see if I'm on my period."

"I did. But I don't have to. I can smell your stuff a mile away."

"That's really disgusting. You're disgusting."

He grinned. "There's the Judgey I know and love."

He could tell that she was trying not to smile, but she did anyway, and he took that as a victory. She pushed him away from her, which he allowed only because she seemed like she was back to herself. He left her to read while he joined Stefan and Ric in their discussions about Kai. Kai hadn't left the house since their arrival, but he occasionally come out on the porch to taunt them as members of the Gemini coven walked up the stairs into the house like pigs going to the slaughter.

"He's still missing a set of twins," Ric said. "They're the last two before he's got enough to do the merge ceremony."

"We have to stop them from getting here," Stefan said.

"We don't even know where they're coming from," Damon said. "How are we going to stop them?"

"Maybe we need to stop focusing on trying to stop the merge," Bonnie said as she got up from the couch and joined everyone else. "Maybe we should just let it happen. Or at least, let Kai think it's happening."

"What do you mean?" Stefan asked.

"I could disguise two of us as the last set of twins. Kai will think he has everyone and while the merge is happening, somebody can sneak in and kill him. He'll be distracted so he won't see it coming."

Damon made an impressed face, and Stephan and Ric nodded.

"That's actually kind of genius, Bonnie," Ric said.

"Don't sound so surprised," she said with a wink.

The six of them sat down around the table and ironed out the details of their plan. They all agreed that the first part of their plan was to intercept the twins before they could get close to the house. Considering that there was only one main road that led there, they would have to come that way. (Unless, of course, they flew in on broomsticks, as Damon suggested). Once the twins were stopped and told of the plan, Bonnie would disguise Stefan and Damon and send them in as the completed Gemini coven. Kai would gather everyone outside, they'd start the ceremony, and then Ric would swoop in and kill him.

Sounded simple enough.

They agreed to break off into pairs and take turns watching the main road. Damon claimed Bonnie as his partner before anyone else could, which left Caroline and Stefan, and Elena and Ric. Damon again noticed that Bonnie seemed less than pleased with her assigned partner, but he didn't say anything as she went upstairs to rest up for their graveyard shift. He tooled around for the rest of the day, alternating between drinking blood and bourbon, and when midnight struck, Bonnie came down the stairs.

"You ready to do this?" she asked.

"Yeah. Let's go."

Caroline and Stefan returned in the rental car and Damon caught the keys as Stefan threw them. He held the passenger side door open for Bonnie, who mumbled a 'thank you,' and then they drove a few miles down the road, in the opposite direction of Kai's house. It was an unpaved, gravel road and there were no streetlights or anything else to cut the eerie darkness of unfamiliar terrain. Damon parked on the side of the road and turned the lights off but left the radio on. He waited for Bonnie to break the ice between them, but she never did. Instead, she rested her head against the seat and played with her fingers.

"You know, I thought we had gotten past this weirdness earlier today," he said. "But there you go, acting like you hate me again."

"I'm not acting like I hate you."

"Then what's going on?" he asked. "I thought we were BFFs and now you act like you'd rather dip your face in a tub full of shit than be with me."

She snorted. "You're so dramatic."

"Don't change the topic."

She sighed. "I'm not being weird, okay? I think I'm just coming to terms with everything that happened before while you were gone and I was stuck with Kai and it makes me sad. There. Now you know."

"You're not being sad or standoffish with anyone else. You were laughing it up with Caroline and Elena earlier."

"They don't understand what it was like there."

"But I do."

"Yes."

"So...you blame me for leaving you?"

"No," she said. "I don't blame you."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

She finally turned her head and looked at him, and her cheeks and lips tightened into a scowl. He returned a frown at her and they kept the stare-down going until she turned away and shook her head.

"Just forget it," she said.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because something's bothering you and I want to know what it is."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do."

"Well, don't."

He clenched his jaw and trained his blue eyes on her profile, willing her to look at him again. He didn't blink or move for several long minutes, even after she started to shift uncomfortably in her seat. She tried to do anything but look at him, including playing with her phone, touching her hair, turning the knob on the radio. It didn't matter. He wouldn't stop looking at her. After an hour had passed, he still stubbornly refused to turn away.

"Are you seriously going to stare at me all night?" she asked.

"Yep."

"You are unbelievable," she said, mostly to herself. She finally looked at him. "You're right. I am being weird. But I'm not going to tell you why."

"Why not?"

"Because it's embarrassing."

"So? Friends tell each other embarrassing things all the time."

"Not things like this."

"What the hell could be so bad that you won't even look at me or talk to me?"

The moonlight provided him a perfect look at her face, and for the first time since she began avoiding him, he saw vulnerability in her eyes. He took her hand and intertwined their fingers.

"We've been through a lot together," he said. "Don't shut me out just because you're embarrassed by something. It's probably not even that big a deal. You'll feel better when you get off your chest. Like you said before, I'm the only one who understands what it was like being there, so lay it on me. Let me help you. I want to help you."

He squeezed her hand and she looked down at their joined fingers. He could tell from her hesitation that he was getting through to her, and when she started biting the insides of her cheeks, he decided to try to help her by tossing ideas out there.

"Okay, little by little," he said. "Does it have to do with Kai? Did he do something to you?"

"No," she said quickly. "Well, nothing more than what you already know about."

"Okay, but it has to do with the time that we were over there? In 1994?"

"Kind of, yeah," she said, nodding her head from side to side.

"But it doesn't have anything to do with Kai."

"No."

"So then it must be something related to me."

"Yeah," she said quietly.

He frowned and racked his brain over what he could have done that would still be upsetting her. He couldn't think of anything more than their typical fighting and bickering, but that was what they always did. It was their comfort zone.

"You're gonna have to help me out here, Bon. I know I can be an asshole sometimes, but I'm drawing a blank. Whatever I did, I'll apologize for it."

She smiled a little and shook her head. "It's not something you have to apologize for."

He frowned. "Okay, now I'm really confused. You're gonna have to spell it out for me."

Bonnie bit her lip and looked at him, then looked down, then looked out the window. She opened her mouth a few times but closed it each time. He waited patiently in the driver's seat as she tried to put together whatever it was she wanted to say that was so damn difficult.

"You know that conversation we had about men and women being friends?" she finally said.

"Yeah."

"And how you said someone always has feelings for the other person."

"Yeah."

"And how you and I are the exception."

"Yeah."

She licked her lips and finally looked at him again, and in one uncomfortable breath, she said, "we're not an exception, Damon."

His eyebrows furrowed deep on his forehead and he was about to ask her what the hell she meant, when the pieces fell into place and it was like a light bulb had gone off in his head. His blue eyes widened to mammoth proportions and as the realization dawned on him, Bonnie started talking so quickly that he almost couldn't keep up with her words.

"I don't know when it happened," she explained. "I have no idea how this happened. I didn't mean for it, too, you know? I was fine with us just being friends. But then Caroline put the idea in my head and I realized she was right and now everything's all fucked up."

She kept talking but it all sounded like a foreign language because the only thing he could hear was that Bonnie liked him. She liked him. As more than a friend. Maybe she even loved him. Conflicting emotions of confusion, surprise and a jumble of other feelings attacked his stomach and settled in like a bag of butterflies.

She was still going on about something, but he interrupted her by saying, "you like me?"

Bonnie stopped her rambling long enough to shake her head like she couldn't even believe it.

"Against my better judgment, yes."

"Are you...are you in love with me?"

The seconds it took her to answer that question seemed to drag on for hours. She nodded slowly and said, "I think so."

All he could do in response was blink rapidly. His brain wasn't working, which rendered his mouth useless. He was just so surprised. Despite all the insults he'd hurled her way over the past few years, Bonnie Bennett was way out of his league. She was the good girl, and he was the bad boy, and he never in a million years thought she would feel that way about him.

He barely noticed that a car passed them, as he was trying to articulate something to say to Bonnie that wouldn't sound completely stupid.

"Uh...well...I..."

"I think that's the twins," she said, her head following the car. "Come on, we need to catch up to them before Kai sees them."

His head was still all messed up from her confession and he only snapped out of it when she grabbed the keys in the ignition and started the car. He came back into focus and she pointed at the car.

"Drive," she directed.

He did so, speeding up to the car and pulling in front of it before it could get much further down the road. Bonnie hopped out and talked to the woman who appeared from the driver's seat, as well as her twin brother. Damon didn't hear what was being said, but he could tell from the relieved looks on their faces that they were happy for their interception. Bonnie pointed them to the bed and breakfast where the rest of them were staying, then got back into the car with Damon.

The air was tense between the two of them as they led the other car to the bed and breakfast. Damon parked and turned the car off and Bonnie tried to get out, but he reached over and grabbed her arm. She looked at him like she already knew what he was going to say.

"Damon..."

"We'll talk later?" he asked, cutting her off before she could pretend like nothing had happened.

She nodded once, and he let her go. He watched her walk with the other witches, but she looked over her shoulder at him before disappearing inside the house. They were definitely going to talk later. He just had to figure out what on Earth he was going to say.