Could use some ideas on where to go next with this.

Helen took one look at Jimmy Novak and winced.

"You are really in a bad situation. No way will the demons leave you be, and the angels are going to be keeping an eye on you for the rest of your life. Essentially Mr. Novak...you're screwed," she said bluntly. Better to get it out now than let the false hope fester.

Jimmy winced.

"Isn't there anything you could do?"

"They likely took Castiel back because he was becoming 'too human' for their tastes, but considering he's the only angel who's gotten anywhere near the Winchesters without being chased off by me they'll probably send him back to try and push Dean towards Micheal. If and when that happens the best I could do would be to fool Castiel with a golem made from your DNA, but I've never made one before. I do have standards after all."

"What's..."

"Basically a clone, from what I understand," said Sam.

It had been a nasty shock having Jimmy call Dean once he realized Castiel was missing.

Jimmy got a determined look in his face.

"I don't care if you have to fake my death and clone me... I want my life back!"

Helen shared a look with Dean and Sam.

"What do you think?"

"I could call in our Loki for this. He owes me a few favors and tricking another angel into taking a fake vessel should be right up his alley," said Helen. Gabriel quit getting vessels and made his own these days. More room to grow and he didn't feel any guilt ruining someone else's life. Well that and it nixed the whole 'agreement' phase of getting a vessel apparently.

Micheal didn't approve of them because an angel who had the power to make a vessel could slip under the radar very easily and they would have no way to track them.

"The problem would be timing...unless you have something to put him into a stasis for a while?"

Helen was about to shake her head.

"Oh to heaven with it. If he's going to make a vessel for that blue eyed child, then he might as well help out. At the very least this will piss off Heaven if we manage to corrupt Castiel of all angels."

Dean smirked. He was all for pissing off heaven.

"Besides, the only one of us that would know how to track incoming angels is him, since there's no way I'm going to bother asking Luc for help with this," deadpanned Helen.

Gabriel, surprisingly, was all for it.

Mostly because Helen mentioned corrupting an angel, and possibly using him as Loki's personal dumping ground for complaints. Castiel was patient, rather naïve when it came to modern things, and a little slow, but perhaps through Loki he could become a bit more up-to-date on the modern era without looking like someone who lived under a rock most of his life.

It took a lot of careful timing, a lot of luck, but the moment Jimmy went under the potion Castiel entered the fake body that was 'awake' thinking it was Jimmy.

When bright blue eyes stared back at them...and then saw Jimmy, he tried to run.

"Oh no you don't little brother. We can't have you spoiling our fun," said Gabriel a little too evilly.

Castiel found himself trapped by an arch angel.

He growled at Gabriel and spat "Lucifer."

"Uh, no. If you want Lucifer you should try looking at the grinning red head. Right class, wrong arch angel," smirked Gabriel.

Castiel ran through the arch angels in his head before his eyes widened in shock.

"Gabriel? But we were told you were dead!"

"Not dead. In hiding. And from what I can see of your aura, he has ever right to be worried about returning," said Helen. She looked pissed.

Gabriel looked at his 'little sister'.

"What do you see?"

"Brainwashing, and it reeks of heavenly aura. Whoever did this wasn't subtle in the least. I bet you anything Naomi was the one who did it," said Helen.

"Why Naomi?" asked Gabriel, not confirming it because he honestly never had any interaction with her and didn't remember any angel by that name.

"Uncle Alistair heard rumors Micheal made his own little brainwashing team, and the one who rose to the pack was some bitch named Naomi, with Zachariah coming a close second. You know how I feel about brainwashing," said Helen.

Castiel hit her with a penetrating stare.

"You brainwashed Dean in hell."

"No, I merely gave him the rope. Ever heard the human phrase 'give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself'? Dangle enough hope when a man's reached his lowest point and he'll gladly jump through hell and back to keep it. There's a reason why I call kindness the worst torture in hell," said Helen annoyed.

That wasn't brainwashing, it was conditioning Dean to see her in a good light rather than a bad one. And considering he kept seeing her in a good light, she would say it worked better than she hoped.

Of course even though Zachariah broke it, she would openly admit she was eternally shocked he still chose her.

"What do you two want from me?" said Castiel, determined to get loose and report back.

"Want? Whoever said we wanted a thing from you? We're just making sure that you don't end up pushing Dean towards Micheal like Zachariah wants. I've already had to kill Ruby after that bitch somehow managed to get loose and find a body. From now on, little angel, you're Gabriel's new bitch."

Helen snapped her fingers as if remembering something.

"That reminds me, I have to find something that fool Pinhead left behind. Apparently some goody-goody servant of heaven is close to getting his hands on it."

"Pinhead? You mean that Hellraiser series was real?"

"Apparently the last Prophet caught wind of the box, and when he brought it to Hollywood, well..." shrugged Helen.

She was actually good friends with them. They were Alistair's top torturers, and she had taken great pleasure in throwing Tom Riddle their way...and slating Dumbledore for similar treatment once Alistair was bored of him.

"I would say I'm horrified by the fact Hellraiser was real and that you apparently know the demons inside, but I think I've been thoroughly desensitized to this sort of thing by now," said Sam finally.

Sam had learned something Dean had picked up in the pit a long time ago.

He saw nothing, he heard nothing, he knew nothing. So long as he did not end up personally involved, it was not his problem if Helen was on the other side. Any other time, like during a hunt, yeah, he would jump in without much hesitation.

If it was Helen, you were on your own.

"Though if you think the fact Hellraiser was based on a true story was weird, you should see Youkai Academy."

"Isn't that from..." started Sam.

"Rosario + Vampire? Yeah. Dad once got suckered...I mean volunteered...into teaching there for a century. Alucard occasionally acts as a substitute teacher whenever he's really, really bored and in the neighborhood. I might take you two with me next time I'm around that area if only for the laughs I'll get when they realize you two are hunters dating a demon-witch," said Helen offhandedly.

"I should really read up on the various anime and manga out there, shouldn't I?" said Sam dryly. First Hellsing and now this...

"If you're lucky we might end up seeing the infamous Doctor or Mr. Black," said Helen, not exactly confirming or denying his suspicions.

"Can I at least have a list of things that are real, despite all evidence they should be?"

"Well most of this falls under parallel universes, but there are a few things that are complete bullshit or fiction until proven otherwise...or have been locked off from all travelers so they don't count anyway..." said Helen.

"Like what exactly?"

"He-Man and She-Ra for starters," said Helen without any hesitation. "Dragonball was another good one, primarily because anyone of any reasonable ability to travel tends to avoid a universe where the best fighters are those who can buff up their pecks and make the loudest man-screams."

"The original Dragonball with the kid Goku was pretty good, but it went downhill after that," said Gabriel.

"I'm not arguing that. That was at least reasonable. I'm talking DBZ. And no one would take anyone evil seriously if they voluntarily went to that place run by the Sailor Scouts," said Helen, shuddering. There was a limit of how much girly-girl crap she would put up with and no one of any real power took those girls seriously.

Primarily because the easiest way to win was to blast them without having to listen to their crappy speeches about love and friendship.

"That being said, I should really pay Uncle Richard a visit before he gets bored enough to look me up."

"Uncle Richard?" repeated Sam.

"Is he the pain in the ass king who had a lion fetish, or the undead warlock that likes to blow stuff up with fireballs, gardening and the various dangerous animals he's collected?" asked Dean.

"The latter."

Dean grinned.

"We should definitely visit him...hell, let's bring Cas with us!"

"You want to permanently give him nightmares of an undead monster that not even angels can kill?"

"Well yeah, I mean if you couldn't do more than seriously maim that bastard even with Lucy powering you, then what could he possibly do?" said Dean.

"Who is Richard, and why did that sentence give me a chill down my spine?" said Gabriel.

"Ever heard of that mini-comic strip 'Tiny Dick Adventures' and the larger one called 'Looking For Group'?" asked Helen.

"Yeah, I read them for a quick laugh but... oh. OH. Can we bring Loki to so we can scar him for life?" asked Gabriel.

"Absolutely. Also, remind me to bring something for the village he's the mayor of. For the undead they can be very picky about their food," scowled Helen.

"You would think they wouldn't complain about the fact you keep your pack from eating them, but noooo..." said Dean rolling his eyes.

Helen had made him go with her once. While it had been traumatizing to his humanity, he found Richard hilarious because most of the heroes he tended to waste were annoying as hell anyway. On a completely unrelated note, he was never letting said warlock anywhere near his precious car, because that jerk would likely wreck it for laughs just to piss him off.

He was a dick like that.

"So we're agreed? Vacation time as a way to piss off the angels and Lilith who seem dead set on bringing Luc up?"

"Do we get to see you in something that looks like a bikini but is really a collection of strings that could be loosely defined as a bathing suit?" asked Dean.

"Richard's village happens to be near a nice nude beach that leads onto a public one, so that would be a yes," said Helen amused.

"Then lead on!" cheered Dean.

"Why would he have a nude beach if he's undead?"

"Because it allows the undead guys to have some nice ass to look at and provide incentive for the ugly ones to stay on the public ones," came Helen's immediately reply.

Richard rented out his private beach to the demons, who used it as their vacation while having the undead act as security for people they didn't want around...like hunters or fat people. In exchange they brought things for the dead guys to eat and dismember...usually missionaries who pissed them off too much. Richard had a lot of fun roasting them.

"Oh god...we needed this," said Dean, stretching out.

Sure it was creepy having to be this close to the undead, but considering Helen wasn't wearing a stitch on her and was swimming, displaying all that skin, he could care less.

Sam was of a similar mind, though he was currently racing Helen in the ocean. Despite his size advantage, Helen was currently beating him...though Dean was of the mind that Sam was letting her for the free view every time his head popped up. He certainly would.

Helen was right...they definitely needed this vacation from the stress.

"Remind me why we don't do this more often?"

"One, because you two had trouble relaxing even on a good day. Two, you rarely had the kind of cash to get to places like this. And three, because Interpol has been cracking down on fake passports and you hate flying," said Gabriel, listing the reasons.

"Not to mention that after about a week you're looking for your next hunt. You're an adrenaline junkie of the highest caliber, although one who at least looks for a thrill that helps others," added Loki. He was surprisingly mellow.

"Did he take some happy pills?" asked Dean.

"More along the lines of Helen introduced him to 'special' brownies. Apparently if he's going to be stuck here on Earth with the two people who scare the crap out of him the most, he wants something to take his mind off it."

"The fact he has a habit of randomly creating shit while stoned has nothing to do with it..." said Dean grinning.

Gabriel had an unrepentant smirk.

"Of course. It also doesn't help that he occasionally causes Alucard headaches because he casually tells his wife where to find his fanged ass."

Dean grinned.

"Who wants a snow cone? Of course the one who gets it has to get dressed..." said Helen.

"I'll go," said Sam. He had lost to Helen, but considering the view he didn't really care that much.

Besides, all that swimming made him thirsty.

He walked past the screaming fat people in far too small bathing suits to where the concession stands were.

They had come to an agreement a long time ago. They would pretend the undead monsters weren't on the beach, and in exchange the undead wouldn't go after anyone who had a lease with their boss. Sure it was hell on the tourist season sometimes, but at least here they didn't have to worry about any dangerous wildlife. Just slow moving people no one wanted to look at anyway.

There was even a sign on the entrance to the beach clearly stating that the owner did not care about dismemberment, and you came to the place at your own risk.

On the plus side, they had the lowest prices around, and it was kept litter free.

"Seven snow cones please," said Sam.

"What flavors?"

Sam had a list, and waited a few moments while the guy prepped the ice, ignoring the screams. He picked up the holder and walked across the beach back to the nude area, where he handed everyone their snow cones before taking his own. And because he knew Gabriel, he got the man two.

Castiel was still uncomfortable, but that was mostly because he was currently chained to Loki as punishment for trying to escape.

He was either going to lose the brainwashing, or he was going to lose his cool. Either way, he wouldn't be such an annoying drone anymore.