I'm not really sure how long this will be, it could be a two or three part, or I might make it a little short story. We'll see where my muse takes me and how you all like it.

This thought hit me after watching the last episode of Chicago Fire over and it just kind of wrote itself.

Follows the storyline of the last episode pretty much to a tee, but has its own twist.

Let me know what you think in a review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing… Although I wouldn't mind owning my own Lt. Casey or Severide…

Dawson

I couldn't believe this was happening. All my life I had wanted to be a mother. It was just something that I always looked forward too.

For the past 8 years, since the very moment I laid eyes on Matthew Casey, I wanted him… those blue eyes and that perfect grin drawling me in from the first introduction. It was always just there, a connection between the two of us.

I've wanted him from the start… and I wanted him to be the father to those future babies that I would mother.

We knew from the beginning that we both wanted children. It was ultimately what had ended Casey and Hallie before her untimely death.

It was a conversation we had had once, more of an offhand comment that turned into conversation. We never put a timeline on it, but we were on the same page, and we made comments about someday, and that we weren't getting any younger.

Matt wanted to be a father, and he had for a while now.

The two little sticks of plastic sitting in front of me with a smiley face on one and a plus sign on the other, as I locked myself away in Brett and I's bathroom only confirmed for me that Matt would be a father… and that I would be a mother.

I cried.

I cried because I was happy, because becoming a mother was a dream come true. I cried because I couldn't wait to hold this little baby in my arms. I cried because Matt and I were going to be parents, together.

And then I cried because the problem was Matt and I were going to be parents… but we weren't together. And we hadn't been for a few months now… A new batch of tears hit me and they were all for the relationship that we had lost. The one that we both worked so hard to get too, but let go so easily. The relationship that was all I had ever wanted, but I let it go… and I cried even more knowing that Matt had let me go.

We were so far from the people we use to be. There was a glimpse of hope for us the other day on shift. When baby Grace had showed up at the firehouse in the midst of the polar vortex that raged outside.

Matt and I had bonded over that little girl, and for a moment I could see us getting back to the old us. For that shift it seemed like we could get it all back. That all hope wasn't lost.

It had felt good. Great even.

But it was also the arrival of baby Grace into our lives that led me to the realization that I was in now.

After spending the rest of my day in the hospital waiting for Grace's family I went home and lay in bed that night. A million thoughts on my mind, all of them circling around Casey, and our life together that had once seemed so bright… but there was one thought that came to my mind and hit me like a ton of bricks. A thought that I couldn't believe I was just now realizing.

I was late…

Close to 3 months late…

I hadn't even realized it. Not once. I had been so stressed over the break up with Casey, and then with tracking down Shay's murderer, so much had happened over the past couple of months.

That night I fell into a restless sleep with images of a beautiful little girl with fair skin and brown hair and blue eyes, eyes that matched those of her Daddy.

I'd gone to the store the next day and bought the 2 different tests. I kept telling myself this wasn't happening. That it was just stress related. It couldn't be possible that after over a year of being together Casey and I would just so happen to get pregnant right before we broke up.

Life plays cruel tricks on you like that I guess.

I tried thinking of the last time we had even been together, the tension was so thick between us before we broke up. We had hardly slept in the same bed at the same time (me working long hours at Molly's or Matt off at a construction job or out with Severide), let alone actually slept together.

There was a knock on the bathroom door and Brett was calling out asking if I was okay. I cleared my throat quickly, knowing she would hear the catch in my voice if I didn't, and hollered out that I was fine and that I'd be right out. That seemed to satisfy her because I heard her moving back to the kitchen where Cruz was surely sat at the table finishing off the dinner I had made.

I got up from the floor and stuffed the positive tests back into box and hid them back in the sack before pulling myself up from the floor and looking in the mirror.

My eyes were red and irritated and I realized quickly I was more use to this look on my features than I was a smile or light in my eyes, but I quickly shook that thought, it was far too depressing of a thing to think.

I splashed some water on my face and took a few moments to compose myself before leaving the bathroom for my room to hide the tests and then going back to the kitchen where I replaced my beer that I had been drinking with some apple juice.

Brett and Cruz both raised their brows at me and I easily lied, telling them I wasn't feeling well and that I was heading off to bed early.

I dialed the doctor's office once I was in my room and changed into some pajamas and they set me up for an appointment the day after next, right when my shift ended.

The next shift was a whirlwind of Boden leaving, the replacement Chief that none of us were too happy about swooping in and leaving a sour taste in our mouths, and of course Welch.

When he cornered my on my way to the locker room and made comments about Casey and I being together I had to bite my tongue at lashing out and telling him we may still be together if he hadn't have been an ass and just let me work on 66, but I had held back and walked away. He wasn't worth the fight, and I knew that I couldn't blame him for Casey and I's mistakes.

I went the doctor appointment alone the next day after a long shift, where they drew blood and took urine and I was sent on my way with a promise of a call later that day or the next.

When I got home and tried doing the dishes and was frustrated to see the hose to the sink not working, again, Matt was the first person I thought of to come fix it. Brett wasn't as keen on the idea, saying I needed to try and date, and that space was good for the both of us. I hadn't listened, and I sent her on her way for some beer and called up Casey, he was over in 20 minutes.

I watched him work and it was nice. If I really was pregnant I knew I had to tell him, but I wanted to make sure it was confirmed by a doctor before I said anything. Spending time with him was just nice. At least I knew that the connection was still there, the time apart had been good. Maybe this baby wouldn't be the only thing that brought us back together, maybe it would just be our connection after all.

The water he sprayed on himself while 'fixing' the sink had me doubled over in laughter and him scowling at me, but I couldn't help but stare when he lifted his shirt up a little and rung it out in the sink. The bottom of his formed abs on full display had me weak in the knees and thinking things that were not helping my already rapid beating heart.

I watched him dry himself off and we continued to joke and laugh for the next 20 minutes while he continues to try and fix the sink. When he had finally succeeded I walked over to check it out and the close proximity has my breathing shallow, when I look up at him to thank him he's right next to me and if I stood on my tiptoes and leaned just a little closer our lips would be touching. He's staring at me and I subconsciously lick my lips and I watch his eyes dart to my mouth before his eyes find mine again. I've just about got the courage worked up and then the door is open and Brett is calling out that she brought the beer and we are jumping apart.

Casey stay's for another hour and sips a beer with Brett. I have one in my hand but I don't take a drink, and neither seems to notice. I knew if I would have declined the beer the both of them would be looking at me with questioning and concern and I really wanted to avoid both those looks until I knew for sure.

Brett and Casey talk more than I utter a word, I'm too lost in thought of the feeling of Matt pressed against me and the thoughts of what would have happened if Brett hadn't have come home.

The thought of being pregnant with Matt Casey's baby isn't so scary right now… I'm still terrified to tell him, but I'm thinking maybe we can get back to those people who were so in love. Maybe we've always been those people, we just got a little lost along the way, and maybe we can find our way back.

And maybe the little life I could be carrying can help us get back to that place.

Brett and I go out for a movie later that night and I don't realize I've left my cell phone at home until we are in the movie theater.

I check it the instant I'm back through the door that night and the voicemail that pops up from the doctor's office has my heart hammering in my chest and my hands shaking uncontrollably.

I hold the phone to my ear as warm maternal voice floats through.

"Miss Dawson, this is Dr. Jenson at the clinic. Your tests just came back… Congratulations, you're pregnant…"

I vaguely hear the doctor talking about calling back to set up an appointment and congratulating me once more before the line goes dead and the phone drops from my hands and my hand comes to rest over my stomach and the tears flow down my cheeks.

I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby.

Despite the tears and the shaking of my hands a smile slowly falls onto my features and I can't help the little laugh that leaves my lips. This is unbelievable. I'm going to be a Mom… and despite all of Casey and I's problems I let myself be happy about that.

I'm going to be a mom, and it's all I've ever really wanted.

When I wake up the next morning my hands on my stomach and there is a genuine smile on my lips for the first time in a while.

Brett quickly picks up on my smile and asks me what has got me so perky this morning.

I can only shrug. "I just think it's going to be a good day."

Brett smiles at me and raises her coffee. I debate a glass of coffee and go for the orange juice instead. I know I have already made some drinking choices that had I known I was pregnant, I wouldn't have. I'm not exactly sure how far along I am, I just know that I have to be getting pretty close to 12 weeks, if not a little over that, given the time line and that Casey and I haven't been together in at least that long. I'm just glad I never drowned myself in the bottle over the past couple of weeks. A drink or a shot here or there, but never an all-night drinking extravaganza, as much as some night I would have loved too, I'm glad I didn't now. I silently vow to make sure I am as healthy as possible throughout this pregnancy.

I call the doctor in my car on the way to 51 and set up and appointment with the doctor in a few days and I let myself smile again because maybe for once in the past couple months I'm catching a break. I've never been one to sit and wallow in the shambles my life was in, or in the things that had happened to me, but it's easy to admit that the past months have been some of the hardest of my life. Between losing Shay and the guilt that I still feel, and breaking up with Matt, to becoming a Candidate, being targeted by the arsonist, and so much more in between… it's been rough. The feeling that maybe things are looking up is something that I am choosing to cling too. That feeling and this baby are all I got right now. I think that maybe this time tomorrow morning I'll have Matt back too. And that is a great feeling.

I walk into the firehouse and spot Casey immediately. He sends me a little smile and I return it before going to the locker room to change my clothes. The next time I see him I'm on my way over to ask him for breakfast tomorrow after shift so we can talk, but the bells ring and we are off before I can say a thing. I love this job and all, but sometimes it has the worst timing.

Half the shift passes and I still haven't been able to talk to Casey yet, we've had calls and one big call to a fire that had Otis trapped inside. After a spat with the new Chief, Casey and Severide were sent to clean the windows and from my place on the apparatus floor I can see him above me on the ladder by Severide. I make a quick mental note of how much I really love him in that beanie he's been wearing so much this winter and have to hide my blush from the men in the garage, knowing they'd give me crap if they ever took notice.

When Welch comes up to me to talk I can't help but roll my eyes. This guy has some nerve coming to 51 and thinking that we would welcome him with open arms after all he did not only to this house, and to me personally. I'd never trust the guy, and I really don't think I'll ever give him the time of day.

Despite the fact that he complimented me on my save, I still couldn't bring myself to be nice to him. I really owed him nothing.

"Hey look, I know we got our history all right, but I just want this job to work."

I contemplate not answering him again, but I decide to throw him a bone. "Well it's not going to if we don't feel like you got our backs."

He nods and I look back to my paper work for a moment before he starts speaking again and my eyes meet his. "Okay. How's this? I'm sorry I didn't take you at your word the other day about you and Casey splitting up." I look away for a moment, it'll never get easier to hear anything regarding Casey and I and our break up, I really don't understand why Welch of all people would be bringing it up. "I believe you now. But you should let your Lieutenant know that he can't be making out with the Chief's ex on the apparatus floor. Or Prigden will destroy him."

I purse my lips. What the hell is he talking about… he's lying. He has to be lying. He stands there for a moment longer and then he walks away and I'm left there with a feeling in my stomach that I can't explain. He has to be lying... Right?

I look up at Matt and he's staring down at my through the window and the look on his face tells me one thing…

Welch isn't lying…

Tears are instantly burning in my eyes, but there is an anger in me that I can't even began to explain.

I shake my head willing the tears to leave, but they don't and I know I need to walk away before any of the guys, especially Casey, can see me cry. I throw the pen I had been clutching in my hand down and rush away. Heading straight for the locker room in a furry, slamming doors and not really caring who sees.

The tears are flowing down my cheeks and I lean against the lockers for support. I'm so mad, and angry, and hurt. How could he do this? Had I been an idiot to all signs I thought I was seeing?

My hand slams against the locker door in frustration and I turn and sink down against them, pulling my knees to my chest as the tears flow. This can't be happening.

Matt and I were supposed to work it out, the space was supposed to bring us back together, not drive Matt into the arms of someone else.

Then a realization hits me.

Matt's moving on and I'm all alone holding onto something that he clearly doesn't want and that thought brings a whole new batch of tears to my eyes that are quickly rolling down my cheeks.

I'm pregnant with his child and he's got someone else now.

And I've never felt more alone in my life…

Review and let me know if I should continue!

I'm working on an update to 'After The Smoke Clears'… should hopefully be up in a few days.