A/N: Hey guys, long time no see. I'm extremely sorry for the wait (like seriously, you've no idea) but unfortunately, real life decided to kick my ass so...don't hate me. Between a couple really bad bouts of depression, anxiety and a family death – it's been hard guys so hopefully, it's worth the wait.

Enjoy!

Episode 12: Vacation

Pacing the room that had been his prison for nearly a year, the wraith growled and tried to ignore his gnawing hunger. Instead, he studied his surroundings. They were uninteresting, starkly white and maddeningly boring. There were no windows and only one door which remained locked at all times saved those when his captors visited him.

Which should be soon, he thought with a sneer; snarling at the very thought of them. He was alive only because they wished him to be and for the past seven hundred and thirty-one days, his every breath had been a torture. He was still wounded from the attack that had brought down his dart – the creatures they brought him and allowed him to drain not enough to fully heal his many internal injuries. The most egregious were those affecting his lungs of which he was sure one of his ribs had punctured. The bone had not set properly so it still pained him. He would give anything for a human on which to feed. Perhaps if he asked especially nicely he could convince one of the females…

His pacing stopped at the sound of the door being opened, two humans slipping through with an animal between them he'd learned was called a pig. It was substantially larger than most of the faunae they brought him and though he detested himself for it, he felt his feeding hand began to twitch.

Angrily, he balled it into a fist and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Feeding time," sang the female, smiling at him in much the same manner he'd once seen his former queen smile at a pet. He snarled but focused his attention on the pig, circling it as the unsuspecting creature began to squeal and try to run away.

But the room was small, so there was nowhere for it to go: he was on it instantly. Meanwhile, rather than leaving and allowing him to feed in peace, the two humans whispered to one another before beginning to take notes.

This surprised him. "You wish to watch?" he questioned, his voice raspy and tired sounding, like that of an old human. He hated it, but since he was only fed barely enough to keep him from starving, there was little he could do. He wondered if this is how his commander had felt during his seventy year imprisonment by the Genii.

"It will not be pleasant."

The female frowned while the male looked positively unconcerned. "You're here to be studied," he reminds him coldly, "And so far, this is the only behavior we haven't fully observed."

The wraith snarled. Yes, that was true. The humans had taken everything from him including numerous blood samples, skin tissues and other bodily fluids he'd really rather not discuss. They'd even managed to take his pride but in nearly two years, seven hundred and thirty-one days, the one thing they'd failed to take was his need to survive. Something in the manner of how the human spoke, as if to suggest he was little more than an object to be examined; snapped what little of his mind he'd been left.

Killing the creature they'd intended for his meal, the wraith pivoted on his foot quite suddenly – turning around with a surprising speed to viciously slam his feeding hand onto the chest of the male human that had dared to speak of him as though he were nothing. The human screamed and clawed at his hand while the female began to wail and bang desperately against the door. The wraith could hear footsteps coming from far away, their sound muffled by the thickness of the white walls but it didn't matter. None of it mattered for at that moment the captive wraith howled his pleasure as bright, delicious life flooded through him for the first time in what had seemed like and endless eternity.

When there was nothing left to take, he removed his hand letting the now desiccated body fall to the floor. Then, rejuvenated, he turned; his yellow eyes settling on the female no longer banging on the door but pressed against it, sobbing uncontrollably.

"P-please," she whispered as a river of terrified tears ran freely over her sodden cheeks. She whimpered, clutching tightly at the cross she wore at her neck, it'd been a gift from her mother. "P-please don't k-kill me. I-I d-didn't m-mean…"

With a snarl, the wraith reached out and tore the chain from her neck, glaring at the religious symbol in his hand before tossing it away. He knew what it meant only because he'd seen the significance of it inside her head, the same way he knew taking it from her would terrify her even more. He relished it, the taste of her fear. Her pleads and cries falling on deaf ears as he took first one step and then another and another until he was directly in front of her.

He expelled a hiss of satisfaction, leering down on her from his greater height. "Your God cannot save you now," he whispered darkly, pressing himself into her. She sobbed, too scared to move, and turned her head away; squeezing her eyes shut as he raised his hand and began to feed.

~xXx~

The Sheppard family was, unsurprisingly, not very traditional. John was divorced, David's daughter had been born out of wedlock and Kate had remorselessly run away to join the military the day after leaving her fiancé standing at the altar. Generally speaking, the only tradition the three of them were any good at following was being decidedly untraditional except when it came to family vacations. In that regard, the three Sheppard siblings were almost pathetically normal.

Almost.

It all started in '92 when Kate was nine, John had just graduated college and David got his first full-time executive position at the tender age of twenty-four. They'd gone to Disney World because it was Katie's birthday and their dad had promised to take her only to cancel at the last second claiming something to do with the company. To say the least, neither brother had been particularly pleased and in an effort to salvage what was left of their baby sister's hopes and dreams (of which they were both fairly convinced their father couldn't care less) had unanimously decided to take her themselves. Kate of course, had been thrilled. John and David however, had spent the entire trip to the resort plotting revenge.

And it was glorious. You see, Dad had a saying and so instead of paying up front for their five night stay at the still relatively new Walt Disney Swan Hotel complete with room service and all the extras the two of them could collectively think of, David and John billed the company – more specifically, their father – for the grand total of twelve thousand, seven hundred eighteen dollars and forty-seven cents. To say Patrick Sheppard had been furious when, come Monday, he arrived early in his office only to find the aforementioned invoice waiting for him atop his desk along with the usual morning's paperwork would've been a gross understatement.

Patrick wasn't furious, he was downright livid. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" he demanded later that evening following an exhaustive day spent questioning the finance department as to who, exactly, had authorized the use of those funds. "Both of you! What were you thinking!?"

"Honestly?" asked John in that flippant, devil-may-care way only he seemed capable of, "We were thinking that since you're the one who's always saying how the best way to teach someone a lesson's through their pocketbook, you might appreciate a taste of your own medicine."

Their father's eyes narrowed. "I see. And dare I ask what wrong I've done the two of you to warrant such an…expensive lesson?"

David shook his head. "Not us, Dad, Kate. Her birthday was last Wednesday and you were supposed to take her to Disney World but you didn't. You canceled because, evidently, the company's more important to you."

Looking utterly and completely shocked, Patrick deflated faster than a leaky hot air balloon. "I…I forgot," he muttered weakly, "I…I thought she just wanted to go to Disney World – "

John snorted, "Yeah, because our sister just randomly asks you for things all the time. She's learned Dad, she's learned that unless it's her birthday or Christmas you don't care – "

"Of course, I care!" their father shouted. "What makes you think – "

"Oh please, you bail on her more often than you don't," John snarled. "I mean, when was the last time you went to one of her concerts or her recitals? She's in more afterschool activities then there're hours in the day because you don't want to have to deal with her! And what I don't understand is, if you didn't want her, why'd you fight mom so hard for cust– "

"Enough! That's enough, both of you!" Patrick screamed, unwilling to even talk about something neither one of them would ever understand. "I don't expect either of you to understand until you have kids, but sometimes there are more important things – "

"Then your children!?" demanded an incredulous David, "And it's not sometimes, Dad, it's all the time! When John and I were little, you were always there, even if you had to cancel meetings or rearrange your entire schedule. But for Kate, it's like she's an afterthought; an obligation you just can't get rid of. She's your daughter all the time, not just when it's convenient for – "

"Don't! Don't say it!" Patrick begged, fearful his eldest might have an actual point (a point he'd never, in a million years, actually admit), "I love your sister, you know I do and I'm sorry I missed her birthday, but the quarter's almost over and there just weren't any other weekends… I'll make it up to her, I promise."

But he didn't (not that either of them really expected him to) and so, the following year, when Patrick Sheppard asked his daughter what she wanted for her birthday, the not yet ten-year-old's emphatic reply was another vacation with her brothers. "Are you sure, sweetheart?" her father asked having thought for sure she'd want a party or something she could invite all her friends to. "I can take the weekend off and maybe rent a pavilion or – "

"No, I'm sure," said Katie firmly, "I know you're busy and have better things to do. John and David can take me, it's no big deal."

Except it was; it was a very big deal and to Patrick's credit, he never really got over it. What he did do, instead of trying to fix it, was essentially give up – withdrawing further until eventually Kate was being supported almost entirely by John and David instead of her one remaining parent. But, be that as it may, the precedent set two years pervious had been established and for the next eleven years every year without fail (barring deployments and disgustingly long custody battles with plotting, gold-digging ex-girlfriends) the three of them (and later, David's daughter Lauren) would take a vacation somewhere around her birthday until the day John abandoned them for Atlantis leaving them alone to carry on the tradition without him.

It sucked and although they tried to hide it, especially from the impressionable Lauren, as the years passed, cracks began to appear in what had once been a very solid foundation. Kate was hurt, David mad and his eleven-year-old daughter just couldn't understand why Uncle John wasn't there anymore. In her mind – and the minds of all children who're left – his absence was her fault and David hated him for it; unequivocally and without question. It ate at him, gnawing like a hunger, biting and scratching until seven years later he got a message from Kate via the SGC's encrypted network saying how John planned on going with them this year just like the old days.

David was thrilled (though not for the reasons one might think). In addition to proving the adage 'all good things to those who wait', revenge was a dish best served cold and if there was one thing John hated more than clowns it was cruel and bitter irony.

"Really!?" he cried, glaring in angry disbelief at the billboards and posters plastered all over the walls of Nassau International Airport announcing their arrival at the 'gateway to Atlantis Paradise Island'. If looks could kill, David Sheppard would've been dead and buried about forty times, "You've gotta bekidding me! Our first family vacation in nearly a decade and you take us to a resort called Atlantis!? Is this revenge for never coming home for Christmas!?"

His brother nods, "And Easter and birthdays and Kate's OCS(1) graduation – "

"Oh, well, excuse me," says John defensively, "You know I've been busy saving the world – "

"A world yes, but not the world and – except for this last time – certainly not ours," David chides, "I mean, let's face it, for the past seven almost eight years now, you've been putting all your time and energy into fixing everyone else's problems but never your own."

The colonel pouted. "Well, now you just sound like Dad."

"Good," says David, "At least one of us does. Now, if you don't mind, we've got check-in in an hour so, I highly suggest you get in the damn car before our sister gets tired of waiting and decides strapping you to the roof like a piece of luggage's a good idea."

John winced. "Yeah, you joke," he mutters without any real intention of explaining himself. Thankfully, David doesn't ask which was good because John had no idea how to explain their sister's new wraith related abilities or the fact that, ever since her kidnapping three weeks prior, her temper worried him on more days than it didn't. It was Woolsey's fault he'd decided (and also Todd's), because the former had insisted she be taught how to use them and three guesses who'd volunteered to teach her?

"I just don't understand," he'd argued after Kate'd told him her decision, "Why can't you just let Teyla – "

"Because I don't trust Teyla," his sister snarled. "Last time she was in my head, she went and told you everything even after I specifically asked her not to – "

"She was trying to help!"

"I don't care, John! It's my head and I trust Todd. Period, paragraph end of fucking sentence. Now, leave me the hell alone!"

And that was that because unfortunately, Kate had him out stubborned to the point of stupidity and between her, Todd and Woolsey, surrender had been just about his only option – at least temporarily. A new 'Plan B' was already in the works and as soon as he was done finalizing it, John had every intention of going back on the defensive but for now, his hands were tied and that made him moody. So moody, he spent the next two days sulking until, on day three, his seventeen-year-old niece cornered him on the golf course where she proceeded to pelt him mercilessly with golf-tees, golf balls and practically anything else she could get her hands on all while reading him a riot act as long as his left arm.

"I hate you! I hate you! You left us, you fucking – urrgghhhh!" she screamed, sounding so much like her aunt in that moment it was legitimately terrifying. "Why'd you do it, huh!? Why!? Were we not good enough for you, do you like your new family more!? That fucking bitch whatever-her-name-is – Teyla – that dumbass doctor and the guy that looks like aqua man!? I saw him at grandpa's funeral, you know. You talked to him more than you talked to me! I HATE you! Uuugghh! You should've just stayed gone, nobody wants you here. The only thing you're good at is letting people down and making them blame themselves because they think there's something wrong with them! Well fine! I hope one day you go out on a mission and never come back!"

It hurt, God it hurt; more than being stabbed or shot or even fed on. And the worst part? He deserved it because Lauren was right, he had left. First to college, then the Air Force, then McMurdo and finally to Atlantis because daring rescues and sometimes questionable leadership decisions in a galaxy far, far away were a heck of a lot easier to deal with than facing your own inner demons and lingering feelings of inadequacy. It sucked and maybe, just maybe, he'd been using the city less as a new home and more as a new place to hide. Maybe, just maybe, he needed to own his mistakes, put on his big boy boots and grow the hell up.

An hour and a half after Lauren's rant, he apologized; stumbling awkwardly through an incredibly long list of 'I'm sorry's'and 'it's all my faults' with an eloquence that would've made Teyla proud. He then bought everyone dinner, played golf with David and on Wednesday took Laruen shopping in an ill-advised, last ditch attempt at earning her forgiveness which cost no less than half his paycheck.

His sister thought he was nuts. "You gave her your credit card!?" she screamed later that evening with enough incredulous disdain intermixed with condescension to have made Rodney question his own intelligence, "She's seventeen, dumbass. Remember me at that age!?"

Of course, he did; teenaged Kate had been literal hell on wheels with a healthy dose of woman scorned thrown in for good measure. "What's your point?"

The look she gave him said he was an idiot for asking. "My point," she explained slowly as though speaking to a particularly dumb child, "Is that revenge buying is totally a thing, remember? I perfected it. From fourteen to sixteen, Dad gave me three hundred a week half of which I invested in company stocks, tripled inside two years and then sold so I could buy a motorcycle, three tattoos and a really good fake ID. Now, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but our niece's a lot smarter than I was so don't be surprised if you end up owning a house or two; or even a small Mediterranean island. You're an idiot."

"Gee, thanks Kate, I love you too," he snarked in reply, wondering how the hell he was supposed to fix this when just the thought of legitimately dealing with his mistakes, how they'd negatively affected others and Lauren's perfectly reasonable resentment was honestly more terrifying then dealing with Todd, Kolya and Michael all at the same time.

Kate's right, he thinks bitterly and with no small amount of self-deprecation (of which he'd gotten very good at in the past seven years). You're an idiot, and a coward. Just like Dad. Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my father after all. Fuck it, everything sucks. Man up, John. But that was easier said than done and by Friday, he was desperate. So desperate he practically kidnapped David on his way back from breakfast, dragging him down to one of the outdoor cabanas out by the pool in order to pump him indiscriminately for information. It took an hour (actually, more like an hour and a half), two bourbons, three confessions and his agreeing to order and drink the fruitiest damn cocktail on the whole freaking menu but in the end he finally cracked the code that was Lauren Kathleen Sheppard:

Teach her to fly. Well then. "Fly what?" he asked stupidly, taking a sip of his drink, "Like a kite or like a helicopter or something?"

"The latter," says David, leaning back to enjoy the sight of his effortlessly cool, badass air force pilot little brother sipping a mai-tai out of a pineapple with two pink straws and an umbrella that, when combined with the flip-flops and aviator style sunglasses, made him look utterly ridiculous.

If only he'd had the foresight to have grabbed his camera. "So, here's the deal. Remember that sky trip we took up to Uncle Robert's hunting lodge in Montana when she was eight? You took her for a helicopter ride through the mountains and ever since then, every Christmas, graduation and birthday she asks for flying lessons – from you. Not me, not Kate, you. So that's it. If you want her to forgive you, take her flying."

John was stunned. "But…but she hates me! You heard her, she's said it at least once every night this week!"

His brother sighed, "That's just the anger talking and you know it. She's hurt, John. And, like most hurt teenagers – and even some adults – "

" – Hey!" John protested, "The hell's that supposed to mean!?"

David ignored him, "– She's lashing out. Like Kate, remember? All those times Dad bailed on her or forgot he'd promised her he'd do something. At least my daughter didn't feel the need to go out and shave her head."

Yeah, good point, admits John inwardly, recalling just how badly their dad'd handled that catastrophe. Of course, to be fair, he'd had it coming and let it never be said Kate Sheppard didn't have a vindictive streak that made Lauren's behavior pale in comparison. Regardless, that didn't make him feel better.

"You know," said David after a long, awkward pause. Being the more emotionally stable of the three siblings, giving pep-talks had become something of a second job and at the moment, John was in desperate need (which, in a petty sort of way, was actually kind of gratifying). Still, it'd been a while and there was no guarantee his little brother would actually listen to what he had to say.

A gamble, the eldest Sheppard felt he should at least try before giving up and ultimately throwing in the towel. "About a year after the wedding, Dad and Kate sat down and talked. It took a while but eventually she did forgive him."

Hopeful, John perked up like a recently water rose bush. "Wait, seriously? She really forgave him?"

His brother nods, "She did. And you know, if Katie can forgive Dad then I'm sure Lauren can be convinced to forgive you. It may take some time but, if you're willing to put in the effort and actually come home for Christmas – "

There was a flash and the next thing the brothers knew, they'd been transported from the poolside of their five-star Caribbean hotel to a small, grey, dimly lit and depressing room the younger of whom thought looked suspiciously like the inside of a com-sec vault.

"What the…" the Sheppards muttered, turning in unison to find General Sam Carter, Captain Vega and Atlantis' least favorite ally waiting for them at a table in the middle of the room.

"Well, there goes my vacation," spat John sourly, glaring contemptuously at Todd the unwelcomed wraith as if their being there was entirely his fault. "The hell do you want!?"

"Actually, sir," says Vega, stifling a giggle because, despite his tone, his outfit plus the fact he's holding a pineapple makes Colonel Sheppard about as intimidating as a pink bunny rabbit, "For once, he's here completely outta the goodness of his heart."

John snorts. "What, seriously? Vega, he doesn't have a heart. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a generous bone in his entire body!"

"In your opinion," Todd growls, insulted (though by now, he really shouldn't be) by the human's extremely low estimate of his good character. "How fortunate then, it isn't you I'm trying to impress."

"Ah-ha!" he shouts triumphantly, pointing an accusing finger in the wraith's direction, "So, you admit it. You are trying t– "

"Colonel," Sam warns, leveling him with a look of tired reproach that very clearly said 'sit down and shut up before I let him eat you'. "Now's not the time. So, if you could both please – "

FLASH!

Everyone blinked then, suddenly, Kate was there looking none too happy in her bikini, an annoyed snarl and literally nothing else.

She was also wet and, in Vega's opinion, appeared to have been directly beamed out of a pool. "Well, hi there!" she chirped gleefully while looking her favorite teammate up and down like the cat that ate the cannery. "Don't you look nice."

"Thanks," said Kate wryly while David, who this morning had last seen his daughter with his sister before being dragged off by John, took immediate note of her absence by demanding to know where she was. "She's not still at the hotel is she!?"

"Of course not!" said Sam, looking appalled. "You think I'd leave an unaccompanied minor alone in a foreign country!?"

"For the sake of national security?" His expression said yes, that's exactly what he thinks.

"Well, now I know how you feel," she tells Todd, earning a quiet chuckle as she pursed her lips and then explained that the teenager was currently with Colonel Ellis on board the Apollo where she'd remain until after their briefing.

"And then what?" asks David, still not entirely sure getting his daughter back was going to be that easy. "She'll be free to go after you wipe her memory or threaten her into silence? I know how the government works – "

"With all due respect, Mr. Sheppard, you really don't," says Sam sternly. "Believe me, I understand your concerns, but neither myself nor General O'Neill would ever let anything happen to her. You have my word, as soon as this briefing's over, you and your daughter'll be free to go; no strings attached. But until then, I invite you to sit. John, you too – and Kate. The sooner we get started, the sooner you can leave."

They sat: the brothers in chairs opposite her and Vega while the still dripping Major Sheppard chose to instead lean casually against the arm of Todd's chair (which, in Sam's opinion, made him look instantly entirely too pleased with himself to the point he was practically leering).

She suppressed a shudder while, across the table, the colonel noticed it too. "Hey Todd?" he called, making the wraith look at him, "You've got five seconds to wipe that look off your face before I throw this pineapple at you. I mean it, this shit's getting real old – "

"Ha!" says Vega, "Speak for yourself, sir. It's fuckin' hilarious."

"Indeed," Todd agrees while above him, Katherine tips her head in silent accord.

The colonel's expression is remarkably indignant. "Hey!" he shouts, "No fair. You three are not allowed to gang up on me. Especially – "

"I hate to break it to you, big brother, but life's not fair," says Kate sagely while making every effort to get as close to Todd as humanly possible without actually being in his lap. It's hard to tell because she's not actually touching him (emotions are easier to read then thoughts but still, her telepathy's pretty much confined to skin to skin contact) but she thinks she can feel his amusement rippling in the air between in addition to the underlying respect and always present desire she's come to expect.

"And besides," she continues, "You should probably get over the way he looks at me 'cause it's really only going to get worse when we, you know, actually start sleeping together – "

"Wait, what!?!" screams David looking completely and utterly poleaxed as he glances – eyes wide –back and forth between his siblings, Vega and the white-haired alien in a mixture of extreme shock and horribly stunned disbelief. "You and…since when!? I didn't even know that was possible!"

"Well, it is," the general takes absolutely no pleasure in telling him. She of course, had been previously warned and according to Woolsey, the attraction – while entirely genuine on Todd's part – was reciprocal only in a professional sense on Kate's. She was a spy after all, and emotional manipulation was pretty much the oldest trick in the book.

That did not, however, make it fun to watch or any easier to accept. "And before you ask, there's nothing I can do. Frat regs only apply to US military members and even then, your sister's exempt from most of them because she's undercover intelligence."

"But…what about…can't you…" Predictably, the eldest Sheppard didn't look any more satisfied with that response than his brother had been. "Are you insane?!" he asked his sister, rounding on her with a look of concern that overpowered any prior fear of getting eaten. "He's-he's a vicious life-sucking, ten-thousand-year-old space vampire. John!" he snaps at the colonel, "How could you let this happen!?"

His brother sputtered. "Me! The hell makes you think I okayed this!? I keep threatening to shoot him!"

"Ah-hem," says the general looking bored and extremely unhappy to be once more playing referee between the five of them, "While I know this is difficult for both of you, we're not actually here to discuss Kate's choice in bed partners. Now," she began, taking a deep breath and shooting everyone one last look daring any of them to even think about interrupting her, "Three weeks ago, one of the medical firms we contract to take credit for all the advancements we bring back with us through the gate reported a break in."

"Which one?" asked Kate, though she had her suspicions. There were only three worked routinely with Atlantis and of those three, only one had anything to do with the wraith. "Skylar?"

"Ah…yes, actually," said Sam, frowning in both suspicion and surprise because how the hell did Kate know that when she wasn't supposed to? "You'll forgive me but, how – "

"Skylar Med Labs is the lead on Project Regrowth which, as you know, 's based off the wraith's regenerative ability," the major explained, "That makes it my jurisdiction."

"Right," said John moodily, drumming his fingers along the top of the table, "Because the wraith're yours and you protect what's yours. Can you say, possessive?"

She smirked, "No, but I can say 'knee vallor kie isk nar.'(2) "

"Key isk nar," Todd corrected, although he looked otherwise tickled fucking pink by whatever the hell she'd just said.

John, David and Sam, on the other hand, looked almost tragically confused, "Huh?"

Kate snickered. "It's wraith or rather their language. Todd's been teaching me – "

"What the hell for!?" John demands.

"Oh, for crying out loud. Hey!" Sam yells, "Can we please stay focused for more than two minutes!? John, Kate – stop baiting each other. C'mon guys, work with me here. Whoever authorized or paid for the break-in took everything. All our samples and pretty much – "

"Everything?" inquired Todd dangerously, growling low at the thought of what, exactly, had been taken from him during his latest tenure of imprisonment. Far from just blood and bone, the IOA had wanted other things that required aggressive and sometimes invasive procedures in order to acquire. In particular, his seed which had been taken more than once by humiliating force.

"And what, pray tell," he hissed darkly, "Is being done to recover them?"

Carter gulped, "Ah…well, actually…a team of NID agents was able to track the stolen samples through their transport containers – all of which are equipped with subspace beacons. They were found in a shipping container at a dock in Porto de Vitória Brazil."

The colonel frowned. "Okay, so, if you already found the samples, whaddoya need us for?"

If possible, Sam looked even more grim than she had previously. "Because our samples aren't the only ones we recovered. In addition to those collected by Drs. Beckett and Keller, we also found elven new samples whose DNA profiles don't match any the wraith we have on file."

The room was silent.

"So…" says David leadingly after a long, tense, moment of pause, "What you're saying is that this, whoever these people are, they've what? Got a real live wraith locked up in a lab somewhere?"

"It's certainly possible," Sam reveals, taking a breath before she continued, "After the super-hive was destroyed, at least thirty or forty darts were seen fleeing the destruction. In fact, for the three months directly afterwards, John and his team made it their mission to find them all before they could integrate into the world's population."

"Oh. So…maybe you missed one?"

"Well, obviously," snapped John peevishly, glaring shallowly at Todd from across the table as if to say 'this is your fault'. "You said we were able to get 'em all."

"And to the best of my abilities at that time, that was true," he hissed in annoyance, flexing his fingers absently across the top of the table in growing agitation. "I've told you, the wraith's abilities to sense one another and communicate are not collectively some mystic power without limit or restraint. They are finite and depend greatly upon both physical distance and the health of each individual in question."

"So?" John asks, shrugging dismissively.

"So, after three months on Earth, he was literally fucking starving, remember?" says Vega, in no mood to play her CO's favorite game 'let's all blame Todd'. "'S why we had to put him in storage for the return trip!"

"Okay, fine," the colonel concedes. Admittedly that did actually, kinda, make a whole lotta sense.

"So glad you agree," Todd spits and for once nobody had the heart to call him on accidently reading their minds.

"So anyway," Carter continues in what is clearly an attempt at steering the conversation back to safer waters, "Once we determined not all the samples were ours, we officially backed off; releasing the container in hopes of following it back to whoever stole our samples in the first place."

David frowned, "And that worked?"

She nods, "Kinda. The container left Porto de Vitoria and arrived yesterday at an old warehouse just outside Barcelos on the other side of the river; three miles north of a bio-engineering lab belonging to a company called Bio-Tech."

In their seats, both Kate and David stiffened before exchanging looks of deepest loathing, contempt and what looked suspiciously like (in Kate's case) blind hatred.

The general raised an eyebrow. "I take it you've heard of them?"

David nods. "Unfortunately. Bio-Tech was responsible for the NC-26 serum. They're also the ones who sterilized it's recipients without their consent."

Carter blinked. "Wait, did you say sterilized?" She looked at Kate, "You're sterile? That's not in your file – "

" – Yeah, well, a lot of things aren't in my file for both my safety and yours," John's sister practically snarled. "Plausible deniably, ignorance is bliss – call it whatever you want. Can we move on please!?"

"I – yeah, of course. Sorry Major. Now, we think they're the one's who may've broken in to Skylar's lab, or at the very least contracted someone else to do it. Either way, that's actually why you're here David. We were hoping you might have enough contacts in the business world to do some digging. Quietly, of course, since the last thing we'd want is to tip them off."

"Sure," he replied, "I can do that. But truthfully, you need a team of inside investigators more than you need someone with the right connections. Fortunately for you, I've got a couple paralegals and a former prosecutor on retainer who could find the lost land of Lyonesse if given enough time and resources. I'll put them to work as soon as I get back to the office."

"Anything you can do, we appreciate it," Sam said before going on to explain that their mission would be to investigate the lab both as a potential threat and in order to confirm whether not Bio-Tech was, in fact, housing wraith somewhere within its facility.

"And if they are?" Todd questioned, "What will be done?"

"Well," she explained, "That's up to you. We already know not everyone on board the super-hive was involved in the scientist's mutiny. It could be these wraith are still loyal to you and, if so, whatever happens to them will be your call."

Surprised, the hive commander was touched by her consideration and, as such, gave a grateful nod in her direction. "Thank you, General. Your kindness and understanding in this matter will not be forgotten."

"I'm sure," she replied before going on to explain that since Bio-Tech apparently had some pretty advanced security – to include an on sight an air-tower for monitoring traffic, electric fences and numerous ground teams patrolling the perimeter practically twenty-four seven – the only way in was by air drop.

"No! Fuck, really!?" exclaimed a horrified Captain Vega, her expression pleading, "Can't we go in some other way!? What about beaming? Can't we beam in!?"

"Unfortunately, no," said the blonde general, shaking her head. "There're just too many global telecommunication companies with satellites capable of tracking Asgard beams and the last thing we need is for somebody Bio-Tech works with to tell them we're coming. That being said, we also think they might've hacked into TACC(2) in order to keep an eye on all approaching military craft."

"So, in other words," said John cynically, "We're stuck hitchin' a ride with somebody already flying that direction. Fantastic. Any idea when that's gonna be – "

"Zero-six hundred tomorrow morning."

" – Right. So, the hell're we supposed to do 'til then?"

Sam smiled. "Ah well, about that. Effective immediately, you, Kate and Captain Vega will be on shore leave for the next – " she checked her watch, " – twenty-two hours. Todd too," she explains, nodding in his direction. "In respect to several recent recommendations, his status' been upgraded to 'official ally' meaning he's now subject to all the same visitation rights as say Ronon or Teal'c."

"Ooh yay," said John mockingly. "I was wondering how this day could get any worse. So, how're we doin' this? There some kind of high-tech mask he can wear or are we just gonna throw a sheet over him and hope for the best? I don't know if you've noticed, but he doesn't exactly blend in."

Yeah, no kidding, thought Carter dourly, pursing her lips together because in her opinion, this idea was one of if not the worst ideas she'd seen in the SGC's entire fifteen year run. Hands down, the wraith were dangerous and Todd, specifically, was more dangerous than most. Unfortunately, it wasn't her call and after receiving multiple recs from Woolsey, Lorne, Cadman, Vega, Dr. Keller and Kate, Jack'd had no choice but to either revoke or update his status as per IOA guidelines.

Obviously, her husband had chosen the latter and so now here she was pulling what looked like an expensive diver's watch from one of her pockets; holding it up for all to see. "Do any of you know what this is?" she asked the room at large.

They shook their heads. "No, wait – I do," said Kate, only realizing what it was upon second glance. "It's a personal HIP or, holographic image projector. The big ones are what we use to make the Daedalus and the Apollo look like satellites whenever they're in orbit and I've used these pocket-sized ones on a couple missions to change my appearance."

She raised an eyebrow, "I'm guessing this one's meant to make Todd look human?"

"Basically," Carter nods, passing the device to Vega who in turn passes it to Todd. "Specifically, it's been programed using several of the pictures we have of you on file. Through a lot of trial and error – some of which I'm sure Major Sheppard can tell you about – we've discovered the HIP works best when the changes aren't that noticeable. For example, someone who's used to being six-foot-two isn't going to move the same as someone who's oh say five-foot-five. In your case, we gave you human facial features, removed the tattoo around your eye and gave you normal hair, skin and eye colors – or at least normal for us anyway. The result is, hopefully, a close approximation of what you'd look like if you were in fact human."

"I see," said Todd, admittedly curious as he wrapped the device securely around his right wrist. It activated automatically sending what felt like a very weak static current over his whole body from head to foot. Presumedly, this meant the device's concealment properties were now in effect and, given the way Captain Vega was now eyeing him, he felt it safe enough to post the query, "How do I look?"

"Dude," Alicia breathed, her eyes wide and staring as she studied the new image of Todd the not wraith sitting next to her with a kind of morbid curiosity. "You have eyebrows!"

He blinked. "Do I?"

"Yeah…" said John, leaning forwards and squinting at him from across the table because, from where he was sitting, between the brown hair and watery pale green eyes not- wraith-Todd looked an awful lot like Halling the Athosian. "'S weird."

"Yeah, weird," agreed Kate but for an entirely different reason she knew better than to voice outload (of course, given the way Todd deflates suddenly, like a leaky balloon, maybe she should've).

David, meanwhile, is asking questions about their luggage and his daughter, "I assume we'll be getting both back relatively soon?"

"Actually," says Sam, "Both should be waiting for you in the lobby as we speak."

"And our accommodations?"

"Wherever you'd like. I have, however, arranged some transportation. Nothing fancy, just your standard issue back SUV." She stood, "So, anyway, have fun, don't do anything stupid and try not to accidently gamble away the gate like Dr. Herman did last year."

"No promises," John saluted her, grinning as he grabbed his pineapple and then marched swiftly out the door followed closely by Dave, Vega and then finally Kate and Todd. "First thing's first," he tells his sister as they enter the elevator, "You need clothes. And after that – "

" – After that we need to decide where the hell we're gonna stay," says Vega, pressing the button that'll deliver them from the secure basement to the less secure ground floor. "'Cause like, don't take this the wrong way but, unlike you guys, I can't afford a five-star resort. One-fifty a night's about as high as I can go."

"Or you could just not worry about it," says John. "Seriously, between the three of us, I think we've got you covered."

"But sir – "

"No buts. That's an order, Captain. You're gonna take it and like it, copy?"

Vega grins, "Yes, sir."

By the time they reach the lobby, talk has moved from where they're going to stay to what all they're going to do. John, apparently, had some kind of plan to make Lauren actually forgive him, David was interested in taking them all out to dinner –

"Todd too!?"

"Yes John, Todd too unless you think our sister'll let us get away with leaving him at the hotel."

"Not a chance," says Kate. "Seriously, I will hurt you both if you even think about leaving him…"

– and Vega really, really wanted to go find the nearest mall.

"What!? Shopping? We're in Vegas with twenty-two hours to do whatever the hell we want and you wanna go shopping!? You've gotta be kidding – "

WHAM!

"What the – " John yelped, dropping his pineapple as something small, damp and wearing a too-large Apollo flight suit slammed into him; clutching tightly until he could barely breathe. He looked down "Lauren?"

Against his chest, the teenage gives a single nod, squeezing her eyes tight before very promptly bursting into tears. Obviously, whatever the hell Ellis had told her, she was overwhelmed and before he knew it, the colonel was hugging her the same way he'd hugged Kate when she was a little girl. "It's okay sweetie, I promise. It's all gonna be okay."

"Swear?"

"Swear."

"Okay." She sniffs, pulling back only to belatedly realize she and her family are no longer alone. "Oh, ah…hi," she offers lamely, awkwardly glancing back and forth between the woman (who, from the way she's dressed, is obviously military) and then the guy (who, if he wasn't some kind of alien, she'd eat her shoes).

"And you are?" she asked the latter with much more bravery than she actually felt.

"Hmmn…impressive," he murmurs, tilting his head to study her with a look one might give a particularly curious child.

It's patronizing as hell and, in that moment, Lauren readily decides she doesn't like him. "So, do you have a name or are you just gonna stare at me like a creep?"

"Todd," he replies obligingly, thinking her to be much more like her paternal aunt than she is her sire. "My name is Todd. Or, if you prefer, you may call me Eld – "

The child gasps, "Wait, Todd? As in 'it's complicated' Todd, that Todd?" She looks at Kate, "You've gotta be kidding me!?"

"I…ah…well…um…he…"

"Damn," says Lauren. "I didn't know you liked him that much." She holds out a hand, "Well Todd, nice to meet you, I guess – "

"Wait – no!" screams Uncle John, slapping her hand away. "No hand shaking. Or touching or…or anything – "

"Oh, relax sir, my God," Vega chides him. "He's not gonna eat her. I'm pretty sure that's not how feeding hands work, anyway."

"That is correct," says Todd stiffly, feeling the need to clarify himself before going further. "Just as you humans often choose to use your mouths for purposes other than food consumption, so too do we use our hands. I assure you, contact alone is not enough to trigger a reactionary feeding."

Laruen blinked. "I'm sorry, what!? Whaddoya mean, he's not gonna eat me!? What…what are you!?"

He sighs, "I am wraith – "

"And what's that?"

"Big, scary, ten thousand year old life sucking space vampire," John says, earning a death glare from both Kate and Todd the latter of whom seemed personally offended by his description. "What!?" he demands innocently, "Tell me that's not accurate."

"Oh, it's accurate," says Vega, "But did you really need to put it like that? I mean, you make him sound like he's a monster – "

"Because he is a monster!" John cries, "And the only reason he's even coming with us at all is because Katie Beth over here has terrible taste in men!"

"Hey!" shouts Kate defensively, "I didn't ask Woolsey to put in a recommendation for allied status because I'm interested in screwing him. I asked him to put in a recommend because in the past two years, Todd's done more for us than all our other allies fucking combined! You need to get off your high horse!"

"Yeah? Well, you need to realize he's a selfish bastard who nine times outta ten only helps us because he's getting something out of – "

"Oh look, the car's here!" announced Vega cheerfully, pointing dramatically towards the doors in her very best impression of William Shatner's illegitimate love child. "Shall we?"

"Yes, fine," John agreed, rushing quickly forwards so he could get to the driver's seat before David. "Ha!" he yelled victoriously, "I win, you can ride shotgun."

Lauren pouted, "But what if I wanted shotgun?"

Pausing as he opened his door, her father looked at her, "Do you?"

She sighed. "No, you can have it. I'll just sit in the back with Captain Vega – You are Captain Vega right? I've heard a lot about you too."

Alicia grinned, "Oh, you have, have you? Like what?"

The teenager climbed in beside her. "That you're wicked smart, can fix anything, once made a functioning robot out of a toaster, have borderline ADHD, absolutely no filter and that you, Aunt Kate and some other chick named Cadman are part of what Uncle John calls the unholy trinity."

Nodding her approval, Vega's grin got about ten times wider, "Yep, that sounds accurate," while in front of her Kate showed Todd how to buckle his seatbelt and then close the door. They were on the road pulling out of Nellis' main gate in less than two minutes headed towards Vegas.

"So," Lauren began, fiddling with the third-row's AC controls as an excuse to keep sneaking glances back at her Aunt Kate and "Todd". "Does your boyfriend have a last name or is it just Todd?"

Kate blushed. "Nope, just Todd – and he's not my boyfriend."

"Right, keep tellin' yourself that. Anyway, I figure Todd's probably like a nickname or something right? If so, what's his real one?

"No idea," calls John from the driver's seat, "And I doubt he's gonna tell us any time soon. I named him Todd after Travers because they're both manipulative, conniving bastards ninety-eight percent of the time."

This was news to David. "You named him after Travers? Really? The guy our sister left standing at the alter!?"

"…Yeah…"

Behind him, Todd was not at all pleased with this new information. In fact, he was rather insulted, "I hardly think my character is as abhorrent as you seem to think it. In contrast, I argue yours is worse given your seemingly inherent ability to make questionable decisions – "

"Like what!?" John demanded.

"To start, the abomination you call Michael."

John scowled, "Yeah, well, that wasn't just my call – I was following orders."

"Very well. Then what of the replicators, the Attero device, your premature arming of the Genii, the Hoffman drug and, lest we forget; the fact you woke us in the first place which has resulted in millions of deaths across the entire galaxy."

The colonel fumed, his hands gripping the steering wheel as hard as he could. Oh yeah, sure, trust fucking Todd to bring up the worst mistakes he'd ever made and then throw them back at him. Well, two could play that game, "So, what about your bright idea to inoculate you and your entire ship with an untested gene therapy? That wasn't exactly brilliant."

"No it was not," the wraith agreed, infuriating him further by refusing to take the bait. "But we are not discussing me, we're discussing you – "

"And now we're done. Seriously," he said, clearly exasperated. "This is why you're an asshole. You can never just let things go."

"Well, I mean, to be fair, neither can you," observes Kate caustically, sneering at him through the rearview mirror. "In the past seven months I've heard you bring up the whole Daedalus thing no less than thirty something times so, if nothing else, you're a hypocrite. And anyway, I thought you two were starting to understand each other and then all of a sudden, poof! You weren't. You're determined to hate him and I've no idea why. David, you're closer, hit him. I would but I'm afraid I might break his arm."

"Yeah!" says Vega, "Me too, but I can't because he's my commanding officer and that's frowned upon."

"Oh really, 'cause that's certainly never stopped you before," snapped John back to her, merging left onto I-15 as they approached the city. "Just last week you sat on me for twenty minutes while I was trying to file my mission reports!"

The captain grinned, "Oh yeah," and then shook her head. "Yeah…that doesn't count. Woolsey told me to."

The look on John's face was pure incredulousness. "He told you to sit on me!?"

"Well, no, but he did tell me to use any means necessary to keep you from barging in on Todd and Kate's lesson on 'how to read minds one-oh-one'."

"So, you decided to sit on me!?"

She shrugged, "Well, the only other option was to take a page outta Larrin's book and tie you to your chair. But, as Lorne keeps pointing out, that probably might've accidently sent the wrong message and since we all know I don't swing that way, I just decided to sit on you."

"Vega!"

"What? It worked didn't it?"

John grumbled. Of all his officers, Alicia Marie Vega was, without a doubt, definitely the most interesting. She was annoying, immature, entirely too impulsive, hotheaded, stubborn, too smart for her own good and if it weren't for the fact she was basically a female version of him, he would've already booted her.

"It's not funny!" he insisted, glaring at her over his shoulder as he changed lanes and took the first exit for the Venetian hotel. "I mean it, captain! Technically we're all still on vacation until tomorrow but you missy, you're still on active duty which means if I wanted to, I could have you running laps around the parking lot while the rest of us go out to dinner."

"Eh, whatever you say, sir," said the engineer, sounding not at all sorry as her commanding officer pulled up and parked right in front of the front doors. A valet hurried forwards to take their keys and then the six of them were spilling out onto the drive and into the lobby in a single cohesive mob that had the concierges up at the front desk eyeing them in wary suspicion until David told them his name and forked over his credit card.

Within seconds, their demeanors changed and a woman whose nametag read Julia was smiling at them. "Mr. Shepard, sir, welcome back. Shall I book your usual?"

He nodded, "Yes please, but with two beds if you this time. I've brought my daughter with me."

"Of course, sir. And for your guests?"

"Hold on a second." He turned to John, "Do you want all of you to be in the same room or would you prefer doubling up?"

"Ah…" Good question. If they doubled up, undoubtedly it'd end up being him and Vega and Kate and Todd because God knows, he didn't want to sleep with him. "One room, if you have it. I think we can all fit…"

"The Bella has two queens and separate living room with a sleeper sofa," said Julia helpfully. "Would you like me to book that for you?"

He nods. "Sure."

Another smile, "And your name please?"

"John Sheppard," answers David for him, clapping him on the back and sounding proud. "Colonel John Sheppard, my brother. And this is my sister, Major Kate Sheppard."

The look of pleasure on Julia's face became instantly more genuine and much more sincere. "Before he died, my dad was in the army and I've got two brothers surviving in Iraq. Thank you both for your service and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Will that be all?"

"It will, yes. Thank you Julia."

"Of course, sir. Now, I've booked you two rooms in the Venezia tower on the eleventh floor. Elevators are down the hall and to your left. Enjoy your stay."

It was a long fifteen minute hike down the carpeted marble-tiled hallway and then up to their rooms. David and Lauren came to theirs first, disappearing inside while the colonel led the rest of them several doors down to their own suite numbered twelve-oh-two. "So," he began as soon as the door was closed, surveying the area with a tactful and strategic eye. As promised, there were two queen beds and a pull out couch which meant somebody was going to have to share.

Well damn. But, he reasoned, better a bed in a room with multiple witnesses than alone in a room without any. And of course, he already knew how this was gonna go, but dammit if he wasn't gonna at least put up some kind of fight. "Hey Vega, I don't supposed you'd be willing to share with Kate by any chance, would you?"

As predicted, the captain vigorously shook her head. "Nope. Your sister kicks sir, like a bucking bronco."

He winced. "I'm sure it's not that bad – "

"Well then, you sleep with her. Or, better yet, have Todd sleep with her since he's gotta get used to it anyway…"

"Fine," he agrees reluctantly, eyeing the two of them like naughty school children caught trying to flush a gerbil down a toilet on the last day of school. "The two of you can sleep together. But, no funny business, alright? Just sleep. You copy?"

Somberly Todd nods, grateful to be allowed this opportunity while Katherine, on the other hand, takes a more trivial approach; saluting her brother with a mocking, "Sir, yes sir!"

His eyes narrowed. "I mean it, Katie Beth. I'm trusting you not to do anything stupid. I know we're on vacation but I the last thing I need – "

"John," she says witheringly, her tolerance for his particular brand of condescending, overprotective bullshit well and truly spent. "I'm twenty-eight not twelve. And if you honestly think I'm going to screw anyone much less Todd with you in the same room, you're an idiot. That said; please remember to knock before going into the bathroom. That shower in there's pretty big, I bet we could fit two people – "

With a glare, John's face molted, turning a lovely shade of puce just as the door chimed singling the bellhop's arrival with all their luggage. "Ah…so, where do you want – "

"Anywhere, doesn't matter," said the colonel, waving dismissively at the room at large. "Just put it – yeah, that's fine. Her you go, thanks. Kate! Get dressed, you look like a – "

"Vega, hit him."

"Okay."

John ducked. "Ha! Missed – umff!" Kate threw his luggage at him, hitting him square in the chest with enough force to literally knock him over.

The captain started laughing.

"It's not funny!" he insisted, glaring up at her.

"Yes – " gasp "Yes, it is!" she wheezed, gasping for breath. "Almost as funny as you falling off the jumper at Christmas. Seriously sir, your face! God, I can't breathe!"

"Yeah, well, try harder," he snapped while retrieving his wallet and explaining how he was going to take Lauren flying. "There's a private airport on the other side of town and David says he knows a guy with one of those two person helicopters. Should be back by six for dinner so, whatever you guys do, try not to make it any longer than that. Vega, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're in charge. Make sure – "

"Wait, I'm in charge?" Captain Alicia Marie Vega looks absolutely stricken. "Why am I in charge, sir! Are you sure you've thought this all the way through!?"

He frowns. Alright, so maybe she had a point. There was a reason Major Lorne never let her go anywhere unsupervised. "Yeah, you're right," he amends, "Todd, you're in charge. Make sure that one," he points at Vega, "Doesn't do anything stupid."

Gasping dramatically, the captain raised her hand and pretended to look insulted. "Sir, I would never. You know me."

He gave her a look. "I do, Vega, that's the problem. You're me with tits."

Grinning as though she'd just been bestowed some high honor or great compliment, Vega waved cheerfully at him as he walked out the door.

As soon as it latched, Kate turned to Todd. "So, what's the plan?" she asks jovially.

He frowns, "You're asking me?"

"Well, you're in charge," she said innocently, though her eyes betrayed her teasing.

Todd hissed, "Hmmn, yessss, so it would seem. However, as this is not my planet, nor any planet with which I'm familiar; I find it best to defer to you."

"Good answer," she grinned, turning o Vega, "Still interested in finding the nearest mall?"

The captain nods, "Yeah, especially if your brother – your other brother. David, not the colonel – 's really serious about taking us all some place nice for dinner . I mean, fatigues are comfortable and all but I wanna dress and Mr. Todd over here could probably do with a lot less leather. I'm sorry, but even with that doohickey-ma-thing you've got on, you still look like the illegitimate love child of Oozy Osbourne and that singer chick from Evenesance."

Kate snorted, "Now there's an image." Fortunately, though, there was existed a relatively easy fix, "Take off everything except your pants, your boots and your undershirt."

Amused, the disguised wraith was only too happy to oblige; discarding everything except those articles previously mentioned in a haphazard pile on the foot of one of the nearest beds.

"Better?"

Humming her assent, Kate nods before pointing at the bed behind him, "Now sit."

Dutifully Todd complies, straddling a corner only to have Katherine immediately climb up behind him to begin running her fingers through his unruly hair. Of their own volition, his eyes drift closed and with great effort, Todd manages not to groan.

Meanwhile, Kate smiles and bites her lip, marveling at how soft it is and how ridiculously tangled. "Do you ever comb your hair?" she inquires, struggling with a particularly nasty snarl that reminded her of a ratty squirrel's nest just below his left ear.

"Hmmnn, not often," he replies, thinking he might need to start if only to encourage her to do this with more frequency. "Vanity is for the young and those whom have little else to recommend them."

"Oh," Kate mumbles, working her way down the stands to almost the middle of his back. "So, then, it doesn't bother you that I…that you still look a little…alien to me?"

"Perhaps," he confessed slowly and at length, feeling his heart skip a beat as Katherine unknotted the last tangle before returning to his crown where she began braiding the top portion of his hair. In truth, it did bother him, far more than he was willing to admit for, as he'd said; vanity was a hallmark of youth and youth, to a female like Katherine, was not a desirable quality.

"You've said it yourself," he continues, "Attraction is not based solely upon one's physical appearance but, you must admit, it does help."

"Some," she agrees, pulling the elastic out her own ponytail so she could use it to tie his off. "But it's not – I don't think you're ugly, just different."

"So you say," he replies, confident he's being placated in an attempt to spare him the hurtful truth. "Regardless, I understand – "

"The hell you do!" Kate snarls, sliding off the bed so she can stand in front of him and stare him down. "I don't give a damn what you look like. Beauty's relative and you – you're like a shark, okay? You're dangerous and deadly and so savagely beautiful I can't even – "

"Beautiful?" Todd echoes, interrupting her with voice full of incredulous disbelief. "You think me beautiful, Katherine?"

She nods. "Yeah, I do. In a completely vicious, breathtakingly violent sort of way. You're vicious and cruel but, you know what? So am I. We're both monsters, is it really so surprising I'd find beauty in another lost soul?"

"No," he breathed, still too shocked to do anything more than sit and stare. At twelve thousand seven hundred and forty, vanity was an affliction he'd thought himself well rid of until Katherine – whom he secretly and ardently had begun to covet not long after journeying so deeply into the depths of her subconscious mind – had told him she wasn't physically as attracted to him as he was to her. The knowledge had been, to say the least, dissatisfying as attraction formed the base of lust without which there was no desire.

Apparently however, this was no longer the case and though it had been centuries since someone had successfully flattered him, he remembered it's feeling as, unbidden, his pulse began to race fast enough to quicken his heartbeat. He took a deep breath, desperate to regain some semblance of equilibrium as Katherine busied herself with getting dressed and Captain Vega called the front desk to request transportation.

Minutes later, the good Captain proceeded to rush them all out the door and towards the lobby. A journey which, to be perfectly honest, Todd remembered none of it save Katherine's proximity while in the elevator. So close, he'd wanted to touch her; to stroke her hair or even trace the backs of his fingers down the line of her throat. Affection, he'd once told her, specifically physical affection, for wraith was highly structured and, because of their telepathy, the autonomy of one's own body was considered sacred. Still, by the time their car arrived, he'd lost himself to the temptation of doing so by reminding himself Katherine wasn't wraith and had thus would take no offense as he began tracing patterns over her clothed shoulder while she spoke to Vega in the backseat of the cab.

Kate, meanwhile, was acutely aware of what he was doing and for several minutes, her back kinda half turned in his direction, did nothing to stop him. Eventually though, she had to say something because dammit, that tickled. "If you're going to do that, do it harder," she said, without turning round. "And use your nails."

His hand having momentarily stilled the moment she'd twitched, Todd dipped his head and purred an apology before resuming his ministrations only this time with a greater application of pressure. "Better?" he queried, breathing the question into the shell of her ear.

"Much," she replied, returning to her conversation with Vega as though nothing'd happened while Todd studiously continued etching what she thought might be the wraith alphabet into her arm.

Whatever it was, it was impossible not to shiver as his talons raked gently up and down her arm and while Todd was occupied; her teammate looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "It's nothing," Kate mouthed wordlessly, shaking her head. Was it encouragement? Yeah, but considering male wraith had more rules to follow then the entire eighteenth- century French court at fucking Versailles she'd deal with it. Humans touched, a lot, and the last thing she needed was him thinking he needed permission every time he wanted to hold her hand or possibly, maybe one day, kiss her.

'And would you like that, my Katherine?' she heard his voice echo, rippling likes waves inside the privacy of her own mind. 'To be the first to act…without your consent…would you really have me be so bold?'

'Yes,' she replies in turn, firmly and without any room for further argument. 'You don't need my permission for every little thing. And besides, I like aggressive…"

'Aggressive? His fingers tightened, digging into her arm with enough force to draw a sharp, quick breath that instantly turned into a shallow moan deep in the back of her throat that only he could hear. 'So I can see. You will make me brazen, I think, jaara'dor(4).'

'Jar-a-what?'

'Jar-a-door,' he repeats carefully, enunciating each syllable slowly and clearly. 'An endearment similar to your own sweetheart. It means dear one.'

'Oh. Well, that's nice. Jaara'dor – I dare you to call me that within ten feet of John.'

Todd snorted. 'I think not,' he replied and so the touching continued until they got to the mall where Vega immediately and without pause (after first checking the directory) made a beeline for Victoria's Secret. "If we're going out tonight I need a dress and my tía always said you gotta wear the bra you're going to wear whenever you go dress shopping…"

Twenty minutes later, Alicia was in a dressing room and Todd was comically confused. "I don't understand," he began disjointedly, frowning at a rack of pale pink negligees while Katherine stood beside him grinning at his discomfort. "What is the point of any these – I dare not call them garments for lack of material? I thought you humans were modest?"

"We are," Kate giggled, secretly enjoying his perplexity a lot more than was probably fair. "Which is why everything in here's meant to be worn either in the privacy of your own bedroom or underneath everyday clothing. For example, I'm wearing a bra and panty set that looks a lot like this one – " she said, waving at a display " – but in black."

"Indeed," he murmured, gazing around until eventually, curiosity got the best of him and he lent forwards to pick up something pink and made of lace before turning to Katherine with an expression that silently begged an explanation.

Momentarily unable to breathe, the sight made her wish desperately he wasn't wearing his H.I.P because – on her top ten list of hilarious, this-shouldn't-be-that-funny things – Todd the wraith dangling a thong from the forefinger of his feeding hand was hands down the most ridiculous shit she'd seen in probably ten years.

"I'm sorry," she pants, shoulders shaking with the effort not to laugh at him because, hell, he wasn't trying to be funny. It's just… "It's underwear," she explains once she's sure she can actually talk without erupting into a fit of giggles, "Like the kind I'm wearing only…less."

"Hmmn," he replies, "I see." Though it's painfully obvious he doesn't really, "And it's purpose?"

"To ah…look sexy – I don't know." Kate struggled, "Lingerie doesn't really have a purpose other than to look good and eventually end up on the floor."

Instead of helping him, this description only served to further compound the wraith's perplexity. "And why's that desirable –"

"Because it's forbidden," Kate tried to explain. "For the longest time, the only person allowed to see a woman in her underwear was her husband. Now, that's a lot less common but the romanticism of it still remains. Also, the idea of a girl going out of her way to dress up for her guy's usually considered a really big turn on."

"So I see," he answered delicately, admittedly able to grasp the concept if not understand it's practice. Among wraith, the disparity between males and females nullified a female's need to do more than express passing interest to entice a male and, in many cases, not even that. Most females needed nothing more than their presence alone to sufficiently stimulate a male's desire and in fact, if any further motivation was required, it would fall to him to entice her rather than the opposite (which, apparently, was how humans behaved).

Admittedly, the thought was rather inspiring, lascivious even, in its intoxicating alterity. He was very curious, "So, given the assumption I eventually succeed in securing your favor, you would don this for me in an attempt to…further arouse my desire?"

Kate flushed. "Well, I, ah…yeah, something like that – if you wanted. Maybe not that one, I don't really do pale pink. Maybe black, or red, possibly with leather…I always figured anything leather would be something you liked…"

The fact she'd thought about wearing materials that might appeal to his specific tastes, made Todd practically salivate so by the time Vega found them – distinct black bag swinging merrily in hand – Kate was noticeably blushing while the human looking alien next to her had started to purr; giving numerous passers-by the impression of a big hungry cat.

"Okay," she said slowly, glancing back and forth between the two of them with a suspicious eye, "The hell did I miss?"

"I…I think I broke him," Kate murmured, biting her lip. "He hasn't said anything for like five minutes."

The captain frowned. "Well, the hell'd you do that for!?" she exclaimed.

"Wh – I…I didn't mean to!" Kate cried, "I just sorta…we were talking and – "

" – And you broke him. Great, good job. The colonel would be so proud. So…how do we un-break him?"

"I…I don't know. Maybe – "

Without waiting for her to finish, Vega took two steps past her and poked him – hard – in the middle of his chest. Nothing happened at least, not immediately. But, before she could poke him again, Todd blinked once, twice and then a third time before finally coming back to himself and the two women now standing on either side of him.

"I…forgive me," he mumbled, sounding shy and almost embarrassed. It'd been years since he'd been so easily distracted, "I was...it will not happen again."

"Uh-huh, sure," said Vega dubiously, eyeing him in wary consideration before following Kate as she looped her arm through his and then dragged the disguised wraith all the way to the men's department in Nordstrom's.

It took literally less than five minutes to find out what size shirt he wore before Todd found himself pulled unceremoniously towards the nearest dressing room by a surprisingly eager Katherine.

He went with Vega's encouragement but also because he was insatiably curious. A perception which only intensified when – instead of waiting for him outside – Katherine joined him inside the richly paneled cubicle. "Bracelet off, shirt too," she instructed, already busy unpackaging each of the various articles she desired him to try on.

As before, the wraith readily obliged so that by the time she turned back around armed with her first offering, she was greeted by the wall of his bare green chest, absent of human male's vestigial mammilla, six inches in front of her face.

"Oh my," she breathed, looking up and down in naked appreciation because the last time she'd seen Todd without a shirt he'd been on his deathbed and about to eat her – not really the best time to be checking somebody out.

Above her, the male in question was very much amused, not to mention gratified, by her appraisal. "See something you like?" he teased, echoing the sentiment she'd once expressed so innocently to him upon only their second meeting. To Todd's enduring surprise, she nodded; looking up at him coyly through lowered lashes as she handed him his shirt and then sat down in the requisite chair to watch him put it on.

Such amorous attention he was not used to receiving, especially from her. What's changed, I wonder? he queried silently, watching her reflection in the mirror as he carefully finished his buttons. Then, turning back, he questioned, "Something is different, isn't it? You no longer shy from me and, dare I think, I'm not the only one expressing interest?"

She coughed, "Yeah, well, I ah…I had a talk with Vega. And Amelia – and surprisingly Ronon – about my habit of taking two steps forwards and then three steps back. They all agreed it's a little confusing, not to mention unfair, and that the reason I keep doing it is because you scare me – "

"I scare you?" He looked alarmed, alarmed and very confused. "I don't understand, do you still doubt my intentions – "

"No!" she said hurriedly, waving away his worry. "It's not that. It's me, not you, and I know that sounds cliché and really corny but it's true. I'm a spy and as a spy I'm really good at manipulating people with their emotions – love, lust, you name it – and for so long now every relationship I've had has been either been a matter of convenience or part of my job. But you…despite what Woolsey's told Sam, Jack and the IOA, you're neither. And like, the possibility of having real feelings for you scares the ever loving shit outta me because I've seen what kind of damage having real feelings for someone can do and I…I don't want…to get hurt."

A conundrum to be sure, Todd understood her hesitancy with far greater intimacy then he let on. "And yet, something has changed," he said again, feeling confident that this time, this time, his words were not just hopeful or wishful thinking. "You don't look at me as though you're uncertain or trying to decide whether or not to draw yourself in. You look at me as though you've already decided."

'Because I have,' she confessed silently, lifting her head in order to meet his eyes with the same defiance she'd leveled upon their first meeting. "Courage isn't the absence of fear," she said aloud, "But rather the judgment that something else is far more important. I've decided I'm done being scared and that you…that we're worth taking a chance and seeing where this goes. So yeah, something's changed. I'm saying yes to what we talked about, to being friends with benefits or whatever the hell wraith call it – companions I think you said. Anyway, we're still in the early stages so don't expect too much. I won't be sleeping with you any time soon but, we can start sorta heading in that direction I mean, if you want? If you…if you're willing – "

"Yes. Of course, yes, Katherine," Todd's voice cracked, "Our progress may go as slow or as quickly as you desire, I make no demands."

"Right," said Kate, "And while, I ah…I don't want to hide or anything, I…well, I was thinking we could maybe not tell John. Or anybody really, except Vega and possibly Woolsey. They might…make things difficult. David knows, not that it's you, but that it's someone and he…he's not nearly as protective as John. Okay, that's a lie. He's protective but he's not stupid protective like Colonel Idiot. And he trusts me. He did however, tell me to tell you – the ambiguous you not you you – that if you hurt me, he may not shoot you, but he will find a way to make your life very miserable."

"I've no doubt," said Todd good-naturedly, feeling a kindship with the eldest Sheppard he and the colonel conspicuously lacked. He'd had sisters, three of them, and so knew what it was like to want to protect them from disagreeable suitors who might do them harm. The mistrust, however, that Colonel Sheppard displayed stemmed from something else and before he was done with Katherine (which admittedly would not be for a very long time), he aimed to find out what; if only to disabuse him of whatever notion made him so contentious.

Later, after having congruently decided on the blue shirt rather than any the others, the pair of them exited the room in search of Vega who was presumably trying on dresses. It took an hour but, eventually, they got it narrowed down to two which Kate insisted was good enough. So, they bought both and then headed to shoes where all three of them were fitted for the evening's footwear.

"Ten bucks says we'll be carrying these by the end of the night," said Kate to Vega, nodding towards their matching pairs of kick-ass, sky-high black leather heels her new not-quite-boyfriend had very helpfully – and gleefully – first pointed out.

The captain nodded. "Yeah, but for like the first hour we'll be fucking slayin' and after that, I don't really care."

Snickering in agreement, Kate passed over her credit card (it was buy one, get one so Alicia offered to buy everyone lunch) and from there, they headed towards the food court only to belatedly realize they'd lost Todd about three stores back. Backtracking, they found him planted firmly outside Fredrick's of Hollywood's display window, studiously studying one of three mannequins wearing a black leather cage bra with sheer lace cups, a leather garter belt and a matching thong.

Vega poked him not once, but three separate times. He didn't move, "He's broken. Kate, he's broken again. Do something – mouth to mouth, the Heimlich maneuver, anything!"

"I am not damaged," the wraith objected, aiming a heatless glare in the annoying female's general direction. "I was merely taking a moment to consider something I'd not previously given much thought."

"Uh-huh." Neither of them believed him, "You mean you were taking a moment trying to imagine what missy Kate here would look like in that thing and, having done so, short-circuited your brain for about five minutes. I get it, happens to me all the time. Now let's go! I'm starving and I think I smell tacos…"

They ate outside on the veranda, Todd included after both women swore up, down and sideways he'd love what his companion called 'orange chicken' (which he did, much to his surprise). And afterwards they all got ice cream. "It's cold so, don't take a bite. Lick it, like this," she showed him, "Now you try."

He complied, mimicking her action to the best of his ability while Vega sat eating her own cone and laughing at him. "It's hardly amusing," he growled in rebuke, frustrated by how easily both females accomplished this particular task. That and watching Katherine consume her own frozen confection was inherently distracting.

The captain snorted. "Yeah, well it'd be easier if little miss Weapon-X here weren't making love to her cookies-n-crème. If I didn't know better, I might say you're doing that on purpose."

"I'm doing it on purpose."

"I stand corrected. Guess this means you talked to him, huh?"

"I did, yes."

"And you're going for it?"

"I am."

"And we're not telling Sheppard?"

"Definitely not."

"Well, okay then. I give it a week before you're screwing each other. Have fun, be safe, use protection."

"Protection from what?" Todd was confused.

"Pregnancy," Kate replied, "And we don't need it, remember? Michael didn't do all his research."

Alicia giggled. "Oh yeah, that's still funny by the way. And the colonel turns purple every time I mention it…"

At four o'clock, they returned to the hotel carrying more bags full of more things then they'd originally planned on buying. Todd, for example, had a completely new outfit in addition to his shoes and shirt: a black on black double-breasted brocade vest Vega had found in the back of some little specialty shop and a leather jacket discovered by Kate to top everything off.

"Holy shit!" Sheppard exclaimed upon first re-entering the room, his expression indicative to someone having been slapped in the face repeatedly with a wet glove. The curtains were drawn, they were watching Buffy re-runs and Todd was on the couch between the two of them looking normal but very well dressed to the point of actual envy. "The hell happened to you!?"

"We went to the mall," said Vega from the far side of the sofa, turning the volume down as Kate, discreetly, moved her legs off Todd's lap. Thankfully, the colonel didn't notice – too distracted by what Todd was wearing and the fact he actually looked good.

"Well damn," John murmured, impressed despite himself because holy hell the life-sucking alien actually cleaned up nice and wasn't going to embarrass them. "Guess you're coming with us then, to dinner, since you don't look all…did you actually comb your hair!?"

"I did yes," said Todd dryly, deciding not to correct him as to whom, exactly, did the combing. "How much time do we have before we depart?"

John looked at his watched, "Ah…an hour, maybe an hour and a half. That enough time?"

"For me, I do not require nothing further though I'm sure both your sister and the Lady Alicia will take turns making themselves presentable."

"Or," said Vega, "We could save time and share. Need a shower, Katie?"

She shook her head, "I still don't swing that way."

"Damn. Well, I tried but, can we finish this episode? I wanna see Spike knock Drusilla the fuck out. Never did like her, she's like my least favorite vamp character."

"You have a favorite?" Todd questioned.

Both of them nodded. "Spike," said Vega.

"Same," said Kate.

"Oh, that's it, I'm leaving," said John, grabbing the clothes he needed before hightailing it back to David and Lauren's room to get ready there.

An hour later, the three of them were down in the lobby waiting for the other half of their six-figure party when the elevator doors dinged open and out they walked: Todd and Kate arm in arm with Vega bringing up the rear in a body-con, sexy red halter with sky-high black heels. She looked damn impressive as did his sister – her black and gold dress altogether incredibly more tasteful than the last on he'd seen her in, with a hem that stopped much more conservatively just above her knee.

And her hair. As Kate spun obligingly for Lauren, John got a pretty good look at her intricately braided up-do which he definitely knew she wasn't capable of doing herself. "You braided her hair again, didn't you?" he accused the wraith who, much to his chagrin, didn't look even the least bit remorseful at having been caught.

"Hmmnn, and what of it?" he offered lazily, overtly unconcerned with Sheppard's threats. "Katherine asked it of me and I complied, is that so wrong?"

"It is," said John fiercely while David gave the valet their keys and told them to bring the car around. "What happened to 'don't do anything stupid'?"

The wraith sniffed, "Yes, well, I'll admit my interpretation of the phrase may be inaccurate but I hardly think indulging your sister's whims fits even your definition of the word 'stupid'. In fact, I'd argue ignoring her to be rather the more dangerous endeavor given her proclivity to engage in violence."

The human pouted. "Fine, I'll give you that one. Just don't make a habit outta this, okay. It's weird enough you know how to braid hair despite the fact you never seem to braid yours – "

"I had three sisters and have sired eleven daughters; you cannot possibly be surprised I've acquired such a skill and seek to use it."

John's mind boggled the thought. "You have eleven daughters!? Why!? Haven't you wrai – you guys ever heard of birth control!?"

Todd's eyes narrowed. "As it happens, no. My kind does not sanction the use of contraceptives because our rate of conception is naturally less than twenty-eight percent. Even mating at the peak of fertility and with the right conditions does not always result in a viable pregnancy therefore to actively prevent gestation is considered equivalent to murder. Also, I am very nearly twelve thousand years old, elven daughters and half as many sons is hardly an accomplishment given the millennia I've lived. There are far more prolific sires amongst our population, so I thank you to keep your opinions on my procreation habits to yourself."

Well then, thought John who, with David driving, spent the majority of the ride to the restaurant trying to figure out why the idea of Todd having kids was so difficult a concept to firmly grasp. It's because we haven't met any of them, he decided, I bet if we met one we'd see him act like a parent and then, boom! Problem solved. He could only thank God Kate was sterile and hadn't that been a fun little anecdote of Michael's kidnapping? He'd about pissed himself when Woolsey told him, and then again when Kate told him she'd told Todd instead of him. Given the way they were looking at each other, whispering quietly together in the back seat (and according to Ronon who'd given him a heads up about a week ago), John knew realistically it was only a matter of time before they were sleeping together.

It was inevitable and, if he was being honest, hardly surprising given their similarities. John liked to complain, but the truth was Todd complimented her in ways no human man ever would, ways she needed, and that scared him. His sister, for all she liked to think she was invincible and that playing the spy and manipulating people's emotions had little to no effect on her, was remarkably fragile underneath that tough-as-nails I'll-eat-you-for-dinner exterior. Fragile and sensitive, loving with all her heart even if she knew her heart would get broken. It'd happened before and with each and every breakup he'd watched her split into increasing small, jagged little pieces and he was afraid that with Todd – who he believed could never and would never love her back, not even remotely – she'd shatter and then not be able to pick up the pieces.

He couldn't watch but, at the same time, he couldn't not. His baby sister had always been attracted, like a moth to flame, to anything that burned brighter than she did and Todd – to his extreme misfortune – certainty qualified. He wanted to protect her but couldn't, no more than he could truly blame the wraith for getting caught in her web. They were uniquely suited and predictably doomed from the start. This was not going to end well, nope, but he'd still try and catch her before her fall and hopefully he'd succeed. Otherwise, alliance be damned, he'd string Todd up and skin him alive; butchering him like a squealing pig.

And he wouldn't even be sorry.

The restaurant David'd chosen was one of his favorites, he had his own table in a private dining room he often used for business meetings but, for tonight, he asked for one in the main floor so the rest of them could get a real feel for how nice the place was. The food was good, expensive, but well worth the price and despite being one of the premier eateries in the entire city, they weren't so pretentious as to alienate less prestigious cliental. His own personal golden standard was to judge others by how well they treated those whom the rest of society considered beneath and right now, his own brother wasn't doing so hot on this particular scale. They'd had a talk about it, the former asking the latter what exactly his problem with Todd was while his daughter painted her toenails in preparation for tonight.

The short answer was that he'd hurt her (which David very quickly pointed out wasn't something either of them could really save her from) and the long answer involved him being wraith, an asshole and something about him being too arrogant to care about stomping all over her feelings if and when they did the horizontal limbo.

"Do you think that's likely?" asked David, recalled what he remembered Kate saying when she'd spilled her own guts just three days prior. "I mean, from what she says, there's a mutual understanding it's not going to progress past friends that sleep together. She's not looking for love, John. She's played that game and been burned by it one too many times. I don't think she's looking to play it again anytime soon."

"But she will," said John with certainty, "Because our sister doesn't know how to not give it a hundred percent. There is no middle ground, she's all or nothing and Todd…he can't love her David. He's not capable of it. They'll use each other, she'll get too attacked and then when he gets bored; he'll leave. And it'll kill her. That's how it's gonna go. I know that, you know that and I bet she knows that but won't ever admit it. Mark my words, nothing about this is gonna end well."

"Well see," he'd replied, pulling himself from the reminder of his earlier conversation in order to ask the waiter if he could please bring them a wine menu.

"Of course sir," he said easily, fetching the required list before disappearing into the cellar to find the bottles David indicated.

Meanwhile, around the rest of the table, John was still lost in thought, Lauren and Captain Vega were chatting amicably and exchanging favorite movie quotes and song lyrics (of which his daughter joked she could easily recall something like four hundred) while his sister pushed her chair closer to Todd's to explain the menu.

"Can you even read that?" asked John, snapping abruptly from whatever trance he'd been in since they left the hotel. "And secondly, you've only had one of like ten shots of gene therapy. Can you even eat food?"

"I can," replied Todd testily, glaring at him from across the table. The human's thoughts were loud and unremittingly aimed at him, his overall dissatisfaction with Katherine's decision to move forwards with their relationship glaringly obvious (although, admittedly, not for the reasons he'd once thought). "I may not need to but that hardly negates my ability."

Vega chimed in, "Don't you remember Christmas? I mean, I know alcohol's not exactly food but I've seen him eat a cookie."

"I've seen him eat an entire meal," said Kate smugly. "On his ship, last night before we went back home, we had dinner."

Lauren's eyes went round. "Like…like a date?"

"Yes," said Todd.

"No," said Kate and then she looked at him.

He sighed, "It was after our latest sparring match, directly following my decision to try and pursue you."

Across the table, John choked on his water. "Wait a minute, that's when you decided to…but I thought you said – "

"Unfortunately, there was some confusion. I assumed Katherine had no desires beyond casual copulation so initially, that is all I offered. Of course, my own interests aligned with something slightly more significant but amongst my kind, males do not go where we've not first been invited. When she corrected me, I amended my previous offer to include companionship as I've no doubt you've been told. I believe Mr. Woolsey alluded to a briefing while I was waiting for Dr. Keller to prepare my first shot."

"Yes, we straightened everything out," said Kate, cognizant and choosing to ignore the way Todd's eyes kept sliding sideways to study her breasts. She'd consciously picked this particular dress because it showed her girls at their absolute best and because leaning over always made them pop just that little extra bit which was always exciting. Her companion certainly seemed to like it, which is what he was, he'd explained; likening the term to her more familiar human one of friends-with-benefits.

Admittedly, she liked his better, "So, what're you thinking? I'd say salads out and probably fish – "

" – I've not eaten anything that dwells in water in a very long time. It might be worth it – "

"Maybe, but I think you should get this. It's steak. Really, really good steak and they can cook it anyway you want."

"Such as?"

"Rare, medium rare, medium medium, medium well and well done. Don't get well done, it tastes like shoe leather. And given your teeth are sharp, I can't imagine they grind well."

"Most decidedly not," he replied delicately. "We chew, but not well. Mostly we swallow."

Again, across the table, John choked on his water.

Kate ignored him. "Well, I like my meat rare – "

Her brother snorted, "Rare my ass, if you could get 'em to bring it to you still bleeding you would. Hey David, remember that time – "

"Are we ready to order?" their waiter sang as he arrived serendipitously.

In the end, Todd let Katherine order for him, sipping his wine as she explained to their server what he would like before ordering her own meal and then handing him her menu. He wrote everything down, moving around the table in a clockwise motion until he got back to them at which time he refilled all their glasses before disappearing to presumably consult with the chefs.

Their conversations were mostly idle until he returned with another to help pass out their plates and then retreat again off to the side. The rest of their dinnertime dialogue was incredibly light, David and Katherine both doing their level best to steer their less manageable sibling away from any topic either too controversial or too inflammatory to be aired in public. A difficult task when, as the night wore on, Colonel John Sheppard seemed to grow increasingly less amiable to suffering his presence.

When desert came, Kate'd decided she'd had enough and proceeded to not only share her cheesecake with Todd, but also do progressively lewd things with her spoon until John announced he had to go to the bathroom and left the table.

"You know, that wasn't very nice," David smirked, not nearly as upset with her as his expression suggested.

And she knew it too, "Yes but it was fun. And he totally deserved it."

"I'm not contesting that. But please, try and remember my daughter's present and still somewhat impressionable."

"Okay, fine. Sorry, Lauren."

"Don't be," the teenager replied, "I'm not three, Dad. I do know things."

"Yes, well, but hopefully not those things," David grimaced, taking a sip of his wine, "And if you do; don't tell me. I'd rather live in ignorance and pretend you're a nun until you're at least twenty, possibly thirty. In fact, if we could stretch it to forty that'd be really great."

Lauren giggled, "Right, sure Dad, whatever you say."

He smiled, "Thank you. Now, when exactly do you all have to be up tomorrow? I'm assuming early in order to be there at six. What time should I ask the considers to set your alarms?"

~xXx~

As in nature, there was something to be said about evolution and the natural order of things; specifically, technology. For example: eleven thousand years ago, when the Lanteans had first dropped from the skies of Vallantus(3), their teachings and technological guidance had helped propel the wraith directly from a society similar to this world's medieval Europe to one capable of space flight in a matter of decades – conveniently skipping everything between steed drawn carriages and the first cruiser capable of space flight. An error, Todd decided (or at the very least an egregious oversight), for having never flown on any aircraft incapable of dampening its own inertia, turbulence was not an experience for which he'd been prepared.

And what was worse, Sheppard knew it.

"You alright there, buddy?" the human crowed, smirking viciously at his discomfort from across the cargo bay. "'Cause, don't take this the wrong way, but you're lookin' a bit greener than usual."

In his seat, either hand gripping its sides so tightly they bled, Todd curled his lip and snarled in contempt of the human's mockery. It was sharp, cruel and uncharacteristically sadistic if not entirely unexpected given the cumulative events of the day previous. Apparently, Sheppard was only unobservant when otherwise engaged with his various duties and the ever-insipid presence of Dr. Rodney McKay. When not, the human was surprisingly astute, and it took him precious little time to deduce that the dynamic between he and Katherine had been fundamentally changed.

To be fair, despite their advocacy for discretion, by night's end they were being rather obvious and for this Todd blamed his deliverance from the restrictions of wrath propriety. To say the freedom to express his affection hadn't gone to his head would be a lie; the ability to touch Katherine whenever he pleased and be relatively certain she wouldn't castigate him for it a more heady exhilarant than any drug he'd ever tried.

The plane shook, cutting through the wraith's reflections like a blade through flesh. He startled, closing his eyes as, despite every effort, he felt his heartbeat begin to race; thudding against his ribs with enough force to actually hurt. Intolerable, he thought but at the moment, he hardly cared. His breathing quickened, his pulse raced and beside him, he felt Katherine reach down to pry loose his feeding hand – entwining their fingers and grasping it tightly palm to palm.

'Hey,' she soothed mentally, trying her best to calm him as he'd always clamed her. 'It's okay, you're okay. The plane's not going to fall out of the sky, I promise. I've done this a thousand times…'

His only response was to flex his fingers, squeezing her hand to the point Kate bites her lip and exhales an inaudible grunt of pain. 'Hush,' she continues, ignoring the discomfort in favor of pulling his hand into her lap where she begins rubbing circles across it's back; back and forth, back and forth. It's a full minute before anyone (i.e. John) notices what she's doing though, thankfully, he doesn't say anything.

It's a six-hour flight to their designated drop point and once they're about ten minutes out, John talked Todd through the jump before ultimately deciding that three demonstrations and one ten-minute video an hour before takeoff isn't enough to make him an expert no matter what he says and that letting him jump by himself's probably a bad idea.

"So, how're doing this?" he asks Kate, "Tandem or tether?"

"Tandem's probably better," she reasons, because tethers break and despite their lithe frames, wraith are surprisingly dense. "You wanna take him, or should I?"

The colonel makes a very uncomfortable face. "Nah, you can have him. He's all yours, seriously."

Vega smirks. "You mean that literally or – "

"Captain, not now. Help him with his harness."

She shrugs, "Okay, sir, copy that. Here, this foot goes here and that foot – "

"I am well aware of how this particular contraption is meant to be worn, Captain. I'm in no need of your assistance."

"Yeah, you say that now. Give it a minute."

Her teammate snorts, "Tell you what, how 'bout I do the harness while you do something about getting all his hair underneath his helmet, okay? Sound fair?"

"I don't need – "

"Yes, you do now, shush. John, don't look at me like that – I have to reach between his legs to secure the strap."

"Fine," he snarls, "Just hurry up and get it over with. I'm tired of – and you! Wipe that smirk off your face before I shoot you. Kate! Keep your hands where I can see 'em. Stop – seriously!?"

They were airborne a moment later; the four of them falling rapidly towards earth, pulling their chutes at roughly two thousand feet in order to minimize the risk of detection. By dawn, they'd reached the landing zone, rolled up their gear, stowed it away and started walking. The lab was less than three klicks away through dense foliage and a great deal of mud made all the more impassible when, surprise, surprise, it started raining.

"And that's why they call it a rainforest," John muttered, glancing back over his shoulder just to see how Todd was doing. It was no secret he hated water – absolutely hated it – and while at first he just seemed to accept it, after forty-five minutes of trudging along through the muck and the mud the wraith was snarling, snapping and hissing and everyone and everything until even Kate had had enough.

"Fuck! Yes, we know, you hate water," she barked witheringly, rounding on him with a look of such exasperated annoyance he literally stopped mid-growl (which, in John's opinion, was one of the greatest things ever).

"I…that is…I'm…"

Crossing her arms, Kate raised an eyebrow and glared until Todd the flustered wraith regained the good sense and composure to actually apologize. "Forgive me, Katherine. I…forgive me."

She sighed, "You're forgiven. However, don't think I'm not gonna remember this. Fucking six foot four, two-hundred-and-forty-pound Lord Commander of the fucking wraith and you're scared of rain. I mean – it's like McKay with lemons…"

By the time they reached the lab, the deluge had lessened to a light sprinkle that did nothing to douse the smoldering ruin they found waiting for them at the bottom of the ravine.

"Well, that's not good," said Vega dryly, "The hell happened here?"

"Well," said John, "I suppose there's only one way to find out. Everybody keep your guard up. Kate, Vega, you're on point – see if you can find a side entrance. Todd, you're with me."

They separated, his sister and Vega darting quickly back into the undergrowth while he and Todd crept forwards up the driveway and then right through the front doors. Inside looked like a warzone with broken glass, bodies and blood smeared everywhere on the walls, floor and in some cases even the ceiling of the front lobby.

"The hell happened here?" he echoes Vega, picking his way across the floor through the debris towards the nearest corpse. It was bone dry. "Well," he said ruefully, eyeing the remains, "That answers that question."

"Indeed," said the wraith, appearing at his shoulder. "And before you ask, whomever he is, he's no longer here."

"You sure?" asks John skeptically, "You said that last time – "

"Last time, I was already suffering the effects of starvation. You cannot possibly hold me accountable for such a diminishment in my abilities."

"Okay, fine," he concedes, leaving Todd to go check out some of the other bodies. "Huh," he mutters, noticing the lab coats and ID badges that show two of them to be at least sixty, "Thought you guys didn't eat old people?"

"Or children," Todd agrees, feeling the need to remind Sheppard his kind did in fact have some morals even if he knew the human would never acknowledge them. "That this wraith fed on old and young alike tells me it was not hunger that motivated him, but desperate need. He was afraid, yes, and likely unarmed – "

" – Except you guys are never really unarmed 'cause, you know…" He slaps his radio, "Vega, Kate? Either of you got anything?"

"Ah…maybe," the captain responds before going on to say, "We think we might've found the security room but the door's locked. Kate's trying to bypass the security now."

John frowned. "Can she do that?"

The radio crackles and then Kate says, "As long as it's not in Ancient or wraith. I'm a spy, remember? Like fuckin' double-oh-seven."

"Or Arny in 'Ture Lies'" adds Vega. "Seriously Sir, you've really got to read her file."

"She has a file?"

"Technically I have two, one for Major Kate Sheppard United States Marine and one for NC26 -74 but, unless you want nightmares, I don't recommend reading that one."

"It can't be that bad."

"It is," Kate insists, "But anyway, I've almost got this thing open so if you'd kindly get your ass over here – "

"Yeah, yeah, my ass is coming." He takes two steps, "Wait - where are you, exactly?"

Static. Then, "Ask Todd."

The colonel frowns. "How the hell – oh, right. Wraith DNA. I keep forgetting." He turns, "That mean you can sense her now like you can Teyla?"

"Similarly, yes," Todd confirms before turning left down an adjacent hallway filled with considerably less blood than either the others. In truth, even before she was a target of the abomination's latest experiments, Todd could sense her more acutely than he could any the other humans. No doubt a side effect of having given her the gift of life no less than thrice (first in Ford's prison, then again after she saved his life and finally, when she'd been injured in the bath while aboard his hive), the addition of her new abilities did not create the affinity, only heightened what was already there.

Turn right, he heard her whisper, singing to him like a gentle breeze. Each mind had its own presence, a unique feel and Katherine's, he'd learned, felt like wind; as equally capable of being light and pleasant as it was harsh and magnificently destructive. His, in contrast, apparently felt like water. Deep water although, with his intense aversion to it, that distinction was admittedly without much meaning.

Left…right…another left…right… almost there…

When they arrived, the door was open and Kate, having spent little time getting past the lab's security codes, was already pulling up days' worth of video all showing the same captive wraith pacing the length and breadth of a small room no bigger than John's closet.

"He looks terrible," the colonel comments, frowning at the grainy image flashing bright across at least four different monitors, "Worse than you the first time we met."

"Such flattery, Sheppard," Todd hissed, curling his lip, "I didn't know you cared."

"Well, if the shoe fits – "

"Alright, that's enough you two," Kate scolds, still typing commands into the system's main interface until, finally, she finds video of the wraith's breakout.

"Whoa," says Vega, sounding impressed, "Betcha they didn't see that coming. He looks pissed, no lie. Like, I didn't think that was possible."

"Indeed," Todd replies, watching with critical eyes as the young wraith – and he is young, very young, almost tragically – fights his way out of his cell, through the corridors of the facility and then out into the jungle.

"Well?" asks John curiously, "Was he part of the mutiny?"

He shook his head, "No."

The colonel sighs, "So, we're saving him?"

"If possible, yes. That would be preferable."

"Well, alrighty then. C'mon guys, let's go play 'find the wraith'. Cross your fingers he didn't get too far."

~xXx~

Not that it helped, John thought repugnantly when, four hours later, they'd traveled exactly three point two miles uphill, in the rain, barefoot (okay, not really) only to find themselves on the edge of a freakin' marsh smack dab in the middle of the damn rainforest.

"Well, shit," says Kate eyeing the brackish, muddy water with extreme distaste. It was vast, it was wide and she really had no desire to go trapping through it, "Please tell me we're not going through that."

Her brother grunts, "Well, I don't see a way around and, based off the footprints we've been following, our wraith definitely came this way – "

Behind him, the captain protests, "Ah, hell no! Sir, I've seen this movie, it doesn't end well. What about fuckin' anacondas or…or crocodiles or-or – "

"It's the Amazon, Vega, there are no crocodiles and besides, if anything tries to eat you Todd'll eat it. Now march."

"Well, fine," she pouts but, like a good little solider, into the water she went along with everyone else. It was horrible, smelly, rank and with an incredibly thick clay-like bottom, walking was made exceptionally difficult; especially for Todd.

While perfectly suited for most extra planetary terrains, his customary uniform of leather upon leather was not suited for this waterlogged, mud-ridden cesspit. Indeed, they were a little less than a quarter of the way across when he stumbled, catching himself only to immediately stumble again and then go down. He landed with a splash on his hands and knees, snarling as he spit out the water that'd somehow gotten into his mouth.

Above him, Colonel Sheppard was highly amused. "Bet you wish you'd accepted those fatigues now, huh?" he asked mockingly, smirking down at Todd the unfortunate wraith. "Maybe next time you should just accept and be thankful instead of assuming I'm trying to make you look like an idiot."

Humiliated, Todd bared his teeth and snarled dangerously while making every attempt to get back up again. The silt, however, had other ideas, sucking him down and holding him until eventually he had no choice but to accept Katherine's help (which he initially refused in a mistaken attempt at salvaging his pride). Fortunately for him, her tenacity rivaled his own and after threatening him rather imaginatively ("Take my hand now, dammit, or when we get out of this, I swear to God I'll fucking kiss Kenny while you watch!"), she was able to pull him up and then loop their arms together to prevent any further mishaps.

John, meanwhile, ahead of them but behind Vega, was having his own issues as he was attacked relentlessly by a barrage of bugs. "Dammit!" he swore, slapping and swatting all around him for several minutes before giving up the exercise as completely pointless. Instead, he determinedly doubled his pace and took off as quickly as possible towards the opposite shore.

"I hate bugs!" he announced to no one in particular the minute he was back on land.

"Don't we all," said Vega, coming to join him along with Todd and Kate, the latter of whom was still casually holding the former's arm. "So, what now?"

"Well," said Kate, releasing Todd as she began searching the ground for the wraith's footprints. "Huh," she muttered, finding them only to notice how different they looked from the ones they'd been following previously. Lighter and with a markedly shorter stride, they were also missing their signature tread, "Apparently, our wraith's lost his shoes."

"Sucks for him," said Vega piteously.

Todd nods, "Yes, but for us – without the benefit of footwear, he will be traveling less swiftly." He turned to Sheppard, "In light of this, perhaps Katherine and I should scout ahead – "

"Go, have fun," the colonel waves, plopping himself down on a nearby stump to begin overzealously applying bug spray. "Radio if you find anything."

"Copy that," Kate says, following the already moving Todd away from the marsh and back into the dense forest. "So," she prods almost as soon as the pair of them are completely out of earshot, "How much of this's really scouting ahead versus you just wanting to get away from John?"

Impressed, not for the first time, by her astuteness, the wraith huffs, "Admittedly, it is more the latter although, the former is still…" he stops, cocking his head to listen as around him, the jungle goes very still; too still. Someone or something is watching them.

"What is it?" Kate whispers, halting beside him. "You hear – "

A soft growl followed by immediately by an angry hiss has them both spinning around just in time to see a large jaguar emerge from the bushes to their immediate left. It looks thin, starved almost and in what little light filters down to them through the trees, it's fangs gleam.

Well crap, Kate thinks, baring her teeth in an imitation of its own snarl before telling it to go away.

Unfortunately, despite her warning, this particular cat's either never seen a human to know it should be afraid or is too desperate and too hungry to risk letting a potential meal get away. Given its condition, Kate was gonna assume it was the latter, though that thought did nothing whatsoever to prepare her for its attack.

"Shit!" she screamed as the cat leapt, striking her quickly and with enough force to knock her over and sequentially pin her to the forest floor with its powerful paws. She struggled, winded, before, with an angry snarl, the animal was wrenched off her with a familiar howl of rage.

"Run! Katherine, run!" Todd ordered, placing himself protectively between her and the jungle predator already back on its feet. Unfortunately though, running turned out to be inherently problematic as the surrounding flora made it impossible to move with any semblance of speed. The result: a slow and cautious retreat that culminated in their arrival to a narrow precipice overlooking an idyllic jungle pool.

With nowhere to go, Todd demanded to know why Katherine seemed so reluctant to just kill it.

"Because," she explained while clutching the back of his battlecoat in a vice-like grip, "Not only is it an endangered species, but technically we're not supposed to be here. I've no idea where we are and if Brazil's authorities find us it could set off an international incident. You can swim, right?"

"I can," he admits slowly, having an extremely bad idea he knows in which direction this was going to go. "But still, I would prefer – "

"I'll make it up to you, I swear," she declares, grabbing his arm and then turning to jump without waiting for him to finish his objections.

With her momentum, Todd has no choice but to follow and hope for the best. Feet first, they hit the water with a loud splash before being immediately going under. The water's clear, thank God, and Kate has no trouble coming back up for air. Todd, on the other hand, weighed down by his boots and so many layers of leather, struggles to reach the surface. He brakes through, gasps and then goes under again – the memory, unbidden, of having nearly drowned once before comes bubbling up, choking him with terror until he can barely think to remember how to swim.

He's saved by Katherine who, after diving down to rid him of the offending garments, pulls him up and then into shallow water so that he can stand. "I'm sorry," she breathes with a look of dismay so palpable, he can't possibly hate her for what she has done. No doubt aware by now that his aversion to water has little to do with a dislike of getting wet and everything to do with some more serious trauma, her sorrow for having put him through that is plain and easy to see, "I…I didn't know and…I'm sorry."

"I…yes…" he replies very incoherently. His voice trembles, his heart is racing and to his left he can feel Katherine's worry begin to mount exponentially. "I…I'm fine," he tries to tell her, hoping to at least calm her fears even as his own have yet to finish dissipating. "You needn't worry for me – "

"Don't!" snaps Kate harshly, startling him into looking up at her with wide eyes that betray just how terrified he actually was. "I can feel you so don't…don't lie to me. You panicked, Todd. You freaked out and I'm so sorry – "

"I…know, Katherine. I know you are sorry," he quiets her, realizing then that her sorrow, though genuine, is as much for him as it is the future of their relationship. She expects reprimand and dissolution…for a single mistake; she believes you would abandon her…

"I'm fine," he tells her, and this time he means it, "We are fine and you needn't fear I shall leave you over such a trivial misunderstanding. Now, let us go find your brother, hmm? I don't know about you but I'm beginning to detest this jungle and the sooner we get out of it the better."

"Okay."

Together they climb out of the water, allowing themselves to drip-dry for several minutes before returning to where last they'd seen the colonel and captain Vega. It was another six hours before they found their quarry on the banks of the main river, getting ready to try and cross.

"Hey, whoa, stop!" John called, waving frantically as stumbled gracelessly out of the trees, startling the poor shoeless wraith into looking up in a combination of fright and latent curiosity. "Don't do that. One, there's probably lots of snakes in that river and two, we're all getting real tired of chasing you so if you could just come with us we can all go home."

Unsurprisingly, the wraith in question looked just a tad skeptical. "You're not here to capture me?"

The colonel shook his head. "No – well, depends on how you define capture. I guess technically we sorta are but – "

"John," said Kate, coming to join him, "Stop talking. Seriously," then to the wraith she says, "Ignore him, he's an idiot. We're not gonna hurt you, I give you my word."

Sneering, he thinks this woman must think him incredibly foolish. "Your word means nothing to me. I will not – "

"Her word may mean nothing to you, but mine?" Todd moves forwards, his eyes gleaming in the fading light of the setting sun as he comes to rest beside Katherine by the water's edge, "Mine should be more than enough to believe what they say. You recognize me?"

He nods, "Yes," and looks visibly stunned. "I don't understand. My Lord…Eldest…what are you doing here?"

"We," says Vega, "What are we doing here and dude, that's obvious. We came for you, dumbass. Now let's go."

"But…I…I am nothing. Why – "

"You are not nothing," objects Todd furiously, hissing his displeasure at the very thought. "On the contrary, no matter how small or insignificant you may think yourself, you are mine and I protect what's mine. Now, if you'd be so kind as to come with us, I've had enough of this wretched jungle to last my entire lifetime."

"Ooh, I second that," says Vega, raising her hand, "Please tell me we've got an extraction plan? Colonel?"

He nods, "We have an extraction plan. Just hang tight, talk amongst yourself while I go send a message…"

A/N: Hello again! By now, ya'll should know the drill. Review are the only way fanfiction writers really get paid so, it you liked it, tell me. If not, tell me why. I look forward to hearing from each of you. Until next time, cheers!

Translations/Vocabulary:

(1) OCS – Officer Candidate School

(2) Ni Vallor Kei'isk Naar (Pronounced: knee vallor key isk na) – Direct wraith translation meaning "I protect what's mine". Kate mispronounces the 'kei' as 'ki' and Todd corrects her.

(3) Vallantus – the wraith homeworld