A/N: Hello again! I'm impressed, an update to a story and it hasn't taken me many months. Woohoo! So, just a quick note, Will and Mouse are not yet part of the story line as they didn't really come into play until the second half of the season. And yes, I know that the events in this chapter are unrealistic, however, in all honesty, a lot of this was just me trying to get back into writing. So, it will remain only a three chapter story. For those of you who wanted to see this expanded, that would take a lot of time and dedication, of which I don't really have much of. Which is unfortunate, however, if someone ever wanted to expand upon and I felt you could do it with grace and dignity, than I would be all for it, but a disability, permanent or not, is a disability and deserves a level of respect that I am just not sure that I could handle.

Anyways, y'all are probably tired of seeing me writing, so on to the story.

Disclaimer - every last mistake is mine. Sure I have someone read this before I post for the most part, but that's just to tell me whether it's complete shit or not. So, yes, thank you Jay, we missed you Belle, and I still don't own Chicago or any of its shows affiliated with it. Whoops.

Erin was well aware, as she stared into the bathroom sink in front of her, that she was shaking. That if it weren't for the fact that she was too busy scrubbing the soap into suds that she continued to rub up and down her arms, she would probably be holding on to the counter. She knew that if she let herself think of anything, besides washing off the blood that coated her hands, than she would start falling apart.

It wouldn't be a little bit either.

It wouldn't be much, but it wouldn't be a little bit.

She kept scrubbing, until the water stopped being pink and continued to just be water with suds. Flowing from her hands and into the bowl of the sink. Every so often, the water would splash a little bit and jump onto the edges of the sink, and sometimes, the water would bounce onto her shirt, but Erin didn't notice. All she could do was concentrate on removing the blood that was staining her hands that her brain had yet to register was long gone.

She didn't pay mind to the people, women, that would flow into the public restroom, do their business and then come out to wash their hands right besides her. Washing their hands, staring at her for a few moments before they remembered where they were, at a hospital, and get on with their lives. Leaving Erin, to continue to scrub her hands on her own.

It wasn't until someone had placed a hand on her shoulders, and then turned the water off before Erin looked up from her rubbed raw fingertips, and to the reflection in the mirror. Her reflection.

What stared back, didn't seem like it was Erin Lindsay. It was a girl. A girl who was afraid, and had just had her best friend ripped away from her, and all she wanted to do was cry. All she wanted to do, now that she had made the connection, was to slide to the floor, and curl up into a little ball, and sob.

Because last night was hard.

So Erin did her best to grip the countertop and stare back at the reflections. Her own and the woman who gently held her shoulders and stared back through her reflection. "You've been in here over an hour. Do you want to come sit down and wait for news with me?"

Trudy Platt, the most underrated woman in the entire district, started to rub her thumbs into the back of Erin's shoulder, doing what little she felt that Erin needed in the moment. Erin shook her head, gently, as another strand of hair fell from behind Erin's ear and swayed in front of Erin's face.

"Hun. I think you need to at least sit down, I'm worried about you." Trudy suggested, smiling reassuringly down at Erin as Erin shook her head once again.

"I'm not the one you should be worried about."

Erin said the words with a sort of detachment that seemed to strike Trudy, as if she couldn't believe that someone, namely Erin, had told her that what she was doing wasn't correct. Trudy pursed her lips for a moment as Erin looked down again, letting go of the counter as she looked down at her hands, the tremor in them extremely noticeable.

"Erin, turn around and look at me." It was Erin's turn to be a little caught off by the words, and more so the tone, of Trudy's words as the bathroom seemed to grow smaller around the two women, as if the rest of the world didn't exist. Because right now, that's all it was. Trudy and Erin. And the toilet in the stall behind them.

She didn't move, so Trudy moved Erin. One moment Erin was staring downwards at her hands, and the next, Trudy had pushed her way between Erin and the sink, and had gently pushed her chin upwards, so she had no choice but to be looking up. Erin couldn't bring herself to look straight into the woman's eyes, and instead, let her gaze linger on the area besides Trudy's' left cheek.

"Erin. I'm not worried about Jay, because I know Jay. I know Jay almost as well as you know Jay." Erin pursed her lips, as tears began to sting at Erin's eyes, the mere mention of Jay's name enough to send her crying.

"And do you want to know what I know, and what you seem to have forgotten?" Trudy asked, tilting her head a little bit so that she could stare into Erin's eyes. The gesture was genuinely simple, yet so comforting. Erin instantly wanted to just crawl into Trudy's arms, and just to be held.

A tear must have slipped, out of her eye and down her cheek, leaving a sparkling trail down Erin's face, because one moment Trudy was holding her chin, and the next, she was holding Erin. Her arms wrapped around Erin's shoulders, and she allowed Erin's head to rest on her own shoulder.

Trudy had been in this situation before. She had seen far too many police officers, good people, shot and a lot of them had died. Far more than was appropriate to recall at that current second. But every single time, without fail, the people that most often needed the most help were family, followed extremely close by the partner of the victim.

And Erin was both.

Seeing as Jay didn't have any family, she figured that Erin was the one that needed the most help at that moment. That needed someone. While the rest of the Intelligence unit, as well as at least half of the precinct, including Roman and Burgess, were out searching for the men responsible, Erin was here on her own.

So Trudy made sure she wasn't alone.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, Trudy allowing the woman to cry and at one point, sob into her shoulder, and Trudy rubbed her hands in circles on the woman's back offering her comfort.

When one minute turned into two, and two into five, Erin finally began to pull away, rubbing at her tears, trying to remove any evidence of her letting go, but it didn't remove the red rimmed eyes that stared up at Trudy as she leaned back against the counter, her arms crossed across her chest.

Another few seconds passed before Trudy cleared her throat, speaking up. "He's one of the strongest detectives I have ever worked with. That's what you seem to be forgetting."

Erin smirked, nodding her head, not trusting herself to respond, she instead wiped her eyes again, then wiped her hands on her pants.

"He's strong, and I have no doubt that he's going to pull through this. Now what do you say we go sit down out in the waiting room? Or get some food? Whatever you want to do?" Platt extended an arm as Erin walked into it, allowing Trudy to lead her from the bathroom and out into the much lighter hallway of the hospital.

"Has there been any word?" Erin finally asked as they neared the waiting room. Trudy shook her head solemnly.

"Yea, he's still alive and the first part of the surgery was successful. They got the bullet out of his shoulder, stopped the bleeding there. Other than that, we know nothing." Trudy shrugged, doing her best not to show her struggling emotions. Her fear, and her hope, and her sadness…

Erin nodded, the information sinking in as she turned into the waiting room that was nearly empty besides a small cluster of people in the corner, gathered together in some sort of prayer. Not there for Jay, but someone else who's own life was on the verge of not being a life anymore.

Erin turned to the table that held freshly brewed coffee and some condiments. She grabbed a styrofoam cup and poured herself some and helped herself to a little sugar and milk while Trudy helped herself as well. Less than a minute later the two were resting comfortably in chairs as they watched the flow of people.

An hour passed, and in that time, the praying family got the news they wanted to hear, their son made it through the emergency appendectomy fine. Another two families came in, one family crying together in the corner that the praying family had just vacated, and the other walked nervously around the room.

Another hour passed, and in that hour, the nervous pacers lost a family member, and Erin found that pacing suited her better. Voight had called twice to check in, and Ruzek and Antonio had both called once to hear the story for themselves.

In the third hour, after countless menial conversations that fizzled out as quickly as they had started with Trudy and a member of the family in the corner, Erin finally heard the scuff of a pair sneakers making their way into the room, the feet dragging as if they had been standing for hours on end and they just wanted to sit down.

Erin looked up to the doctor in the dark, navy scrubs. The five o'clock, blonde shadow on his face matching the color of the locks that laid limply on his head. His blue eyes shone dully as he scanned the room. "Family of Jay Halstead?"

Erin raised a timid hand as she stared at the little blotches of blood on his scrubs.

The doctor smiled a reassuring smile and waved her over to a stretch of chairs nearest to the doors as he himself fell into one, letting his legs expand outwards until they were lying straight ahead of him. "You don't mind, do you? My feet are actually throbbing right now?" He smiled another light smile, which did a lot in terms of lifting Erin's spirits.

She shook her head as she cleared her throat, standing in front of him with Trudy at her back, not being able to bear the idea of sitting down at a moment like this. "So how is he?"

The doctor smiled again. "He's good. Better than expected actually." The doctor stopped, allowing Erin herself to smile at the news as Trudy rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. "Part of the reason why it took us so long was because of the bullet in his back. It fortunately only hit the muscles just to the left of the spine. The swelling is what was causing the issues with his the numbness in his legs. We were able to remove that bullet and the bullet from his shoulder successfully."

Erin felt her shoulders drop as she finally was able to take a breath without feeling sick to her stomach. "Jay woke up in recovery and we ran some tests then just to make sure, and he was definitely regaining the ability to move his feet and legs. Which leaves me little doubt that he's going to be ok. It's probably going to be painful, he'll be in a sling for at least two weeks to try and leave his shoulder stress free, and I'm assuming that he'll probably wear a brace for his back for a while, especially during strenuous activities to help the muscles heal, however, like I said. Im very optimistic that he's going to heal up just fine. Possibly be back to desk duty within a month and regular duty in three."

Erin reached forwards and hugged the doctor, albeit awkwardly in the position that they were in, but she was definitely more than grateful. So grateful that any words of thanks that she could come up with just weren't enough. Jay not only was going to make it, but he was going to be walking in no time.

She hadn't paralyzed him, she hadn't killed him. Overall, two things that she wasn't sure she would be able to say at the end of the day.

"Can I see him?"

The doctor smiled again. "I don't see why not, just, uh, give me a minute, feet are still throbbing."

Erin smiled gratefully still, "Absolutely. I need more coffee anyways."

A/N 2: Well, I really hope you all enjoyed that, and if you did (or didn't) leave me a review. You guys are always amazing with the reviews, and I do read every single one, and with time, I respond to every PM I get, so if you all would rather just write and talk, than I am pretty much always for it. Just a matter of me having no time. (Partly of which is my fault, considering I took an eleven mile bike ride for no reason this afternoon... oh well.)

I love y'all!

Tayler