Author's Note: It's been a loooooong time. Lots of crazy shit has happened to all of us, I'm sure. I finally got around to finishing this chapter, and most of my reviewers will be glad to know I tired of the Malfoy angle. This is smut, folks. No need for HPMoR levels of insight. Also very cool: this story has passed 1000 Favorites and Follows! This is AWESOME people! When I logged in and saw those numbers, I realized I HAD to keep writing. I am psyched! I'm also looking into getting a beta-reader so I can spend less time proofreading and get these posted faster. There might be bugs in this chapter, because I started it like 7 months ago, but just drop reviews and I'll iron them out. Constructive feedback, people! Cheers.

UPDATE: I HAVE A POLL ON MY PROFILE ABOUT OTHER GUYS IN THE STORY. PLEASE VOTE AND GIVE ME YOUR INPUT ON THE STORY'S DIRECTION.

"So, did he buy it?" Hermione asked. She and Harry sat in the common room, their usual spread of homework laid out on a table in front of them. Though no light shone through the dark windows, the room was still well lit by torches and the crackling fire. Harry was comfortable sitting in a stuffed armchair, looking simultaneously relaxed and alert. His eyes drifted unseeing over the fire, viewing but not looking at the fire. His mind was clearly churning away.

Hermione was sprawled more carelessly in her seat, a hand supporting her chin as she too considered the situation. She felt better about his carnal arrangements with the witches of her year, but the idea of Harry bedding the whole damn castle still felt like a bit much. She had nevertheless helped him formulate a plan to distract the burgeoning Malfoy scion from grabbing more than he'd earned. Hermione was worried that some sort of turf war might erupt if Draco and Harry started competing for witches from other houses, but she also felt the need to help Harry. He was simply too powerful to ignore, and he already leaned on her like a right hand man. Hermione felt loyal to her friend, but when she thought of him as a lover she was left unsure. She had certainly enjoyed their lovemaking sessions, and she couldn't deny to herself that she was eagerly awaiting the next union of their sweaty bodies, but she couldn't deny that the whole situation unnerved her somewhat. Ever since that first night, Harry had seemed to change. He was more confidant now, and he walked with a sense of security she'd not even seen Malfoy replicate. To her surprise, the new Harry seemed considerate and practical, which left Hermione relieved he wasn't a douche because of his apparent charisma, but still puzzled by the changes in her friend.

It seemed funny to her that she could be so rationally considering the change in personality of her best friend, and yet still be happily secure knowing a thorough fucking was in their mutual future. Hermione tried to think of Harry's cock dispassionately, and found she couldn't. She wanted him.

"...Ravenclaw is the priority, of course," Harry was musing, his hands steepled beneath his chin. He continued to stare into the depths of the fire and said, "Hufflepuff has some nice seventh years, but I've already spent quality time with Hannah Abbott, on several occasions, so that's all taken care of."

"Hannah Abbott? When?" Hermione whispered back. Their voices didn't carry far into the room, but Hermione worried she'd be seen casting a silencing charm, and that was worse than some wafting whispers.

"The first time was in a greenhouse. The Venomous Tentacula got involved too. It was pretty fun."

"Harry, the Tentacula only touches humans when it's teething."

"So?"

"So, if it she consumed enough of its sap while it's producing bonding hormones, while having sex with you, she's going to be completely addicted to you. I did a bit of extra-curricular research on that plant a few years back" - complete with some vigorous fingering as she hungrily scoured the book's vibrant illustrations of women writhing with pleasure in the Tentacula's embrace - "And I remember reading that it takes up to three years for the chemicals to exit her body. It's magic, Harry. You made her into your personal nympho." I wonder if it felt as good to her as I think it did, she did not add.

Harry considered this. "That would explain why she's dragged me into broom closets on two occasions for quickies."

"Anyway," Hermione continued, not wanting to think too long about a subject that was bound to make her wet, "This thing with Draco."

"Right. I'll bed the Ravenclaws, fair and square," Harry smiled. He figured he was so experienced at this point that he might not even need a vial of his secret weapon to seduce a witch in three minutes fast. And if he did, it wouldn't be a problem. "He can't compete with me. I just did that to keep him quiet. I doubt there'll be any trouble from here on out."

"Harry, I have a stake in this too," Hermione said slowly.

"Well, I would hope so. You've only been my best -"

"Besides the obvious," Hermione interrupted, rolling her eyes. "And the less obvious." She grinned at him, arching an eyebrow and giving his groin a significant glance. "I don't like Draco Malfoy very much."

"Neither do I, but he doesn't know it yet."

Hermione pressed her point. "I just don't want to see the girls I've grown up with and become myself with to be fucked and defiled by a guy like him, especially when he's only doing it for a competition."

"Hermione, that's my feeling too," Harry replied in a serious voice, dropping down half an octave to remain unheard as passion entered his voice. "I only challenged him so I can beat him. There's only one player allowed in this castle, Hermione, and that's me. You know it," He leaned back and awaited her response.

"Frankly, I don't think your motivations are much purer," she continued. "But I know you, and I believe you can...conclude this whole case...without robbing the girls of Hogwarts of their dignity."

"Uh, perhaps," said Harry, who knew Hermione was only okay with the whole situation because of magical manipulation by himself and some of his girls. "I'll tell it to you straight, Hermione. I'm after sex. I fucking love it. And getting it doesn't require disrespecting my partners, but in the end, I do what I want. I don't exactly give out a number for customer service, but I know every girl I've had has walked away without regrets."

"Anyway," Hermione rolled her eyes again. "I say you go after Luna Lovegood first. She's fast as hell, so I doubt you'll have a problem."

"I agree," grinned Harry, but something troubled him. "Isn't Luna really kinky? Like, actually-crazy kinky?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that, based on what I've overheard in the Ladies' Room. You're the one who's so proud of his libido," Hermione giggled, then caught herself. "If you don't like what you see, I'll still be here in a few hours." She bent over her work, politely signaling to Harry that the strategy meeting had concluded.

Harry absentmindedly packed his bag and slung it over his shoulders. As he left, he patted Hermione's shoulder in silent thanks for her assistance and withdrew the Marauder's map from his pocket with his other hand. He was through his phase of wearing the Muggle blazer, which felt too contrived for the Boy-Who-Lived, and had contented himself with his usual expensive robes, personally tailored by Madame Malkins to accentuate his figure.

The portrait hole opened and closed for him. Harry glanced at the map to confirm Luna was in Ravenclaw tower, as he had expected, then wiped it. He knew only the basic details of its layout, having heard snippets over the years walking past the Ravenclaw dining table, but he'd never been inside the tower. Harry was sure it would be easy to access - 11-year-olds lived there - but he hoped for a more clandestine form of entry than the front door. He thought he might sneak in behind someone else while wearing the invisibility cloak, which he'd taken to carrying with him, as opportunities for action where everywhere. However, he didn't know what anti-intruder measures the Ravenclaw door might have, and he knew for certain, having tried to access the Gryffindor girls' dormitory years before, that it likely had something.

He reckoned he could get into the girls' dormitory easily by now, though. He could either transfigure a ramp over the slide or just fly his broomstick up to the window -

Harry froze. It was that easy - he could climb into the top floor of the Ravenclaw dormitory, put on his cloak, and work his way down until he found Luna. Then he would propose to her a half hour of fun, and she would surely accept. And Harry had to admit to himself, being on the receiving end of someone else's preferences sounded… intriguing. Getting onto the roof was surprisingly simple. Harry climbed to the seventh floor, walked to a specific classroom in the southeast corner, locked himself in, and then opened the window.

Thirty years earlier, the window had been Transfigured by a teacher so she could shoo some magical birds into the open air. She had forgotten to restore the window to its original form of inanimate glass, and to this day there existed a simple and easy exit onto the roof of Hogwarts. It didn't get much notoriety among the students, as no one has cause to go onto the roof unless it was a sale of some prohibited substance or perhaps a more romantic encounter. Harry had considered using the roof himself, but it was too windy and cold to stay long without using magic to seal and heat a wide area, and Harry was sure the magical wards of the castle would take aversion to wizards operating outside student boundaries. However, if he did it right, he would need barely any magic.

"Accio Firebolt."

The cold wood, firm and powerful, was pressed to his hand a few seconds later. Harry's broomstick vibrated gently with energy. After more than three years, the Firebolt was still the fastest - and most expensive - racing broom in the world. To wizards, the Firebolt didn't quite invoke the awe a Muggle might feel upon seeing a Ferrari, but it sent a clear message of wealth and passion. Don't beef on my seed, the broom seemed to say. Harry ran a hand along the length it, his victories on the quidditch pitch flashing through his mind. The wind in his hair, the air shouting in his ears...it felt to Harry like the memories of a former self.

Have I matured, he wondered. Or just progressed to a new level of naivety?

He swung his right leg over the broomstick and pushed off from the classroom floor. He drifted slowly out the window onto a wide ledge, which ran under the bank of windows until it rejoined the rest of the roof. Harry floated up a foot and carefully pushed the window closed. Then he pointed the front of his broom toward Ravenclaw tower. It jutted from the west of Hogwarts and rose parallel from the fifth floor. Harry crossed the distance in a matter of seconds, the Firebolt's almost inaudible vibrations rising to a low hum as it accelerated and shot past the castle in a blur of motion. Harry eased himself upright to disengage the throttle on the racing broom and silently coasted the last few yards. He drew level with the top floor of the tower and inched slowly across until he found the open window he'd been looking for. He pulled it open all the way by grabbing it and rising on his broom. Then, he floated lightly in. After returning the window to its former position and concealing his Firebolt behind a tapestry, Harry donned the invisibility cloak, cast his quick silencing charm on his feet, and observed the Ravenclaw dorms.

There were a series of doors on either side of the hall, leading to boys' and girls' shared rooms and assorted bathrooms. Some doors were open, and Harry found that there were connecting doors so people could pass from room to room quickly. Harry pulled out the map, not wanting to spend twenty minutes searching bedrooms. He saw the dot marked Luna Lovegood on the floor below him, on the side of the common room. Harry scrutinized the map, observing the large circular shape and the alcoves cut into the walls. He saw Luna in one of the alcoves by the stairs. It should be a simple matter for him to sneak down and get her attention.

Harry tucked the map back in his pocket and gently tiptoed down the circular staircase. The Ravenclaw common room was large and airy, with ide windows spilling light into every recess. There were tables with stuffed armchairs, much like the Gryffindor room, and a fireplace that was, for the moment, cold. There was a large library housed in a separate room, and many individual niches all along the length of the room, with windows and curtains for what Harry assumed to be private studying. Carefully holding the cloak in, Harry snuck around to the back of the common room, the the alcove where the new Luna was.

The curtain was drawn, and when he brushed it aside he saw Luna Lovegood languishing on the windowsill, her nubile form silhouetted against the afternoon sky. She held a book on her lap, but her eyes were focused on a point far over the Forbidden Forest. She seemed far more deeply submerged in her own thoughts than a book could have ever induced. Harry felt almost guilty to interrupt her quiet introspection, but the potential of her feminine qualities ensured that he would not dream of turning back, not so close to the culmination of his self-assigned mission.

"Hello," he said mildly. Luna gasped slightly and spun around on the windowsill, taking him in and processing a course of action simultaneously.

"It's kind of you to visit me, Harry," Luna said, her surprised tone already giving way to her usual soothing voice. "But I would appreciate some warning next time you drop by in my house's common room."

"I debated sending a patronus," Harry said, smiling in spite of her stern chastisement. He still couldn't be sure when, but he knew that Luna was joking a majority of the time. He assumed she wanted him to promise to knock in the future.

"I promise next time I won't interrupt your studying, not without giving you a heads up first," he said solemnly, taking the opportunity to step into the alcove and pull the curtain closes again. Harry noticed that the second the curtain closed, sounds from the outside world ceased, and the quiet background chatter of a house full of students was reduced instantly to a calm and tranquil silence - the mark of an expert silencing charm. There was only the muted sound of their breaths in the small space, and even that sound of like seemed to be sequestered coldly in the surrounding stones. Harry felt a pang of satisfaction to know that if he had his way, there would certainly be more heat in the air.

"Oh, it's really not about studying," Luna said lazily, giving her book a contemptuous look before slamming it closed and tossing it into a seat. "I was about to finger myself and hopefully break my climax record. I cum really easily, you see."

Harry blinked.

"I expect the reason you're here is something similar, in which case, you could disrobe and pound me into tomorrow."

Harry blinked again. Time with Luna Lovegood had conditioned him to take in her words passively and process them for a swath of hidden meanings. It was then bizarre for her to address such a carnal topic so casually...

Bizarre, and totally in character, Harry grinned. "It does sound like something that can be tag-teamed."

"Absolutely." Luna smiled, flashing him her bright, even teeth. Harry was reminded how deceptive looks could be. Most painfully hot girls were straight players with their heads in the game. Luna could not have beat on harder against the current. She revelled in her oddity without being aware of it, like a self-aware satirist with amnesia. And because she was a good person when it counted, with a very nicely toned body and impressively proportioned rack, everyone rolled with it.

"I've been experimenting with spells that speed up my morning routine," she said. "The coolest one is for showering." She snapped her fingers and said, "Ut auferam sepem." There was a small pop, and their clothed vanished. In an instant, Harry and Luna were naked and markedly different in their reactions to this act of magic.

"Luna, I had some important things in my robes," Harry said evenly. "Like my wand."

"They're in the nothingness around you," Luna smiled back, her face serenely unconcerned as she drank in Harry's chiseled physique. "And can be summoned back at any time."

She hopped off the sill with surprising dexterity and stepped close to him. Harry found himself staring over her shoulder out the window as she pressed herself into him, one of her hands gently guiding his to her ass, the other gently ensnaring his manhood. Harry let out a soft moan as her fingers slid around his length, tracing the vein along the underside of his shaft, her thumb teasing the head of his cock.

"Oooh, does the Boy-Who-Lived enjoy a little sleight of hand?" Luna cooed into his ear, her hand stroking his length tenderly, coaxing more blood into his member. Harry's cock felt afire with sudden need, but he still wanted to let the situation develop at a moderate speed.

"There's nothing wrong with a little manual encouragement," he said happily, glad to see the hot blonde give his dick some much-needed attention.

"Certainly not," came Luna's reply in a soothing whisper next to his ear. Harry's hands set to work kneading the supple flesh of her ass, egging her on as she quickly brought his cock to full hardness. Her hand pumped his length a few times, not so much pleasuring him as showing off the potential ecstasy she could unleash in him.

"But it would be a shame for you to gain entry to Ravenclaw Tower, find me in a secluded and secure place, and then cum just from my hand, wouldn't it?" Luna said somberly. "I've got you hot and bothered, and I'm not even using both. Surely we can do something a little more invigorating?"

Harry stepped back, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. He looked at her breasts, which were nicely formed and looked like plenty of flesh to fill a palm. Her nippes stood at attention without volumous robes to provide concealment, and the sight of such fine specimens reminded Harry that every second not rocking Luna's world was a moment wasted.

"I'm here for all of you, trust me," Harry grinned.

"Good, because I plan to reciprocate," Luna replied. One of her hands resumed it's welcome massage of his manhood, and the other explored his hard abdominals.

"Does it take a lot of work to get a body like this?" she asked, with typical Lovegood frankness.

"Eh. The hardest part is the first month, before you see results. It's hard to force your body to strain itself when you don't see immediate gain. But you know the people with muscles are the ones who have the dedication."

"You turned that into a spot of self promotion," she laughed. "You could say it was all just a potion, and sell some ads in the Quibbler."

"I'll consider it," Harry said mirthfully. "But I think we're getting a bit off topic." His hands slid down and grabbed the supple flesh of her ass. He pulled her closer, until his erection was firmly sandwiched between their stomachs. Luna giggled.

"They don't rent out these alcoves by the day, Harry, let's get on with it."

"Okay, wha -" Harry stopped speaking as Luna dropped to her knees and took the whole of his cock into her mouth at once. The deepthroat was so unexpected that he found himself stuttering lamely as he basked in the feelings of suction and wetness. Luna was clearly a pro, which surprised Harry ever-so-slightly because he'd never thought of her as that kind of crazy.

Not that he was complaining.

Luna slurped his dick up, not giving a single indication that she'd been born with a gag reflex. Her hands hooked around his legs, forcing him farther down her throat until all she could do was look up at him with those magnificent silver-blue eyes, wide with an emotion Harry couldn't discern. He tried to slide a hand through her hair, which he considered the best way to send nonverbal encouragement, but Luna shook it off and, with a faint pop, relinquished his cock from her mouth.

"I prefer it if you just lean back and let me do the work," she said simply.

"Okay," said Harry, who had no objections to a hands-free orgasm. He couldn't help but admire the utilitarian method of Luna's blowjob. She kept steady pressure on his dick, her tongue caressing the head and occasionally slipping up and down the underside of his shaft. Harry groaned and leaned back, steadying himself as he absorbed the pleasure she gave him. It really was wonderful not to be the one doing most of the work. Harry could close his eyes and focus on the sensation of her lips against his skin and she worked on him, relentlessly dragging him closer and closer to the end. She was so enthusiastic in her motions that she couldn't use both her hands - one had to steady her as she rocked back and forth on her knees. The other supported his balls, rhythmically squeezing and massaging.

It was the first blowjob Harry had received that was entirely head. Luna's fingers never came into contact with the shaft of his cock. She relied solely on her mouth, and Harry had to admit her strategy was rock solid, as was his dick.

"Luna," Harry said, panting slightly, his eyes still closed. He had meant to say, I'm going to come, but he couldn't pull his attention together. She clearly understood, however. She tried to say "mmhmm" but all it did was vibrate around his dick, which was enough to push Harry over the edge. He felt himself cross the threshold, felt the pleasure creep across his loins until it consumed him. He tried to hold out as long as he could, but he had to give it. Luna giggled as she felt his seed hit the back of her throat, swallowing the load of the Boy-Who-Lived without a second thought. The feeling made Harry shudder at the stimulation of his sensitive shaft. Finally, Luna leaned back, and he felt the cold touch of air.

"Returnero," she murmured, and his clothes and wand were on him once more. "Sorry, I think we should go further in a more secluded place."

Harry rubbed a bead of sweat off his forehead and pulled Luna to her feet. "You know this place better than me. Whatever you say. And fantastic work - usually I'm the one who has to put forth the effort."

"Well, philosophically, the man is a penetrative force," said Luna mildly, as though she hadn't just given the most powerful teenager in the world a blowjob. "He must put force behind his point; he thrusts. Traditionally, the woman receives that force."

Harry was grinning on the inside. He had no problem with girls. If he saw an ugly girl, he didn't feel the need to judge her, he didn't feel some sort of savage desire to belittle her to himself or his friends. But when he saw a hot girl, a student whose robes didn't disguise a luscious body, a face with features that just clicked to him, then he had to act. He had to pursue. For the most part, he'd focused on the girls he already knew, where taking an aphrodisiac potion didn't feel too weird. But Harry realized that also attracted him was how he knew them, how he could talk to them. But even Hermione, the brightest witch in the school, didn't have the level of mind Luna did. Maybe you had to grow up in a crazy home, but the way she could switch directions from sexual to intellectual was very appealing to him.

"I'd love to hear more," he said. "But I also want to -"

There was a muted crack, and Dobby the house-elf was standing between them.

"Dobby, what the fuck -"

"The renovations on Master's secret chambers are complete!" the elf said proudly. "The house-elves worked long and hard to bring it to Master's level of approval!"

"Ah, ok," Harry said. "I'm very appreciative of all that, Dobby, but -"

"Would Master Potter care to tour the new and improved Chamber of Secrets?" Dobby squealed, the world's smallest real estate agent.

"Chamber of Secrets?" said Luna with interest.

"Fuck it," said Harry. "Luna, let's continue in my penthouse. Dobby, if you please."

"Yes, Master Potter," said Dobby cheerfully, and he grabbed their clothes as they all disappeared with a muffled flash.