It is what it is. It's always painful but, it isn't bad. It's more like an itch. An itch that burns because you scratched it too hard but, you'll keep scratching it anyway because for some reason it feels good. It's cold and hard while somehow being warm and embracing. It's a balance between safety and danger and a dance between shallow and deep. It's light on the outside and dark underneath. What's on the out side doesn't matter? It's the insides that count right? No, only the outsides matter when others are looking. No one looks deeper and when they do it hides. It can hide in the dark. It's good at it. It lives for it. What's left of light becomes dark. What's shallow becomes deep. There's no longer any safety but, it's still warm and embracing. Sadly one day you realize you caused it. You hid it. You nurtured it you protected it. Now it's hurting you and that itch is just pain but you can't stop it because it is what you created. It's what you wanted all along. It is what it is.