Disclaimer: I don't own Until Dawn.

They are Brave Souls

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

– Lau Tzu

Chris likes to think he is a brave person.

That's why it's such a shock to realise he is considering shooting the girl he loves. He is a welter of fear and rage and horror, fingers trembling on the gun, panic jamming his higher thought processes; the only thing coming through is shit I don't want to die please God no how can I make this choice please no I don't want to kill either of us –

But in his heart he knows what the right choice is, no matter how much he wants to live, and he musters his courage and presses the cold barrel of the gun to the underside of his jaw.

Then Ashley screams his name, her voice full of anguish and fear, pleading for him to kill her in his place, and he falters, his resolve breaking at the pain in her voice.

The sawblades are getting closer and Ashley is screaming and sobbing and calling his name desperately and he can't think, panic filling his brain with white noise and he lifts the gun –

He depresses the trigger before he consciously realises that he's made the decision and the sound of the gunshot is shocking loud, echoing through the vast derelict basement. He stares in shock and horror at his own hand and the weapon it holds, still smoking.

But Ashley is still alive and she meets his horrified gaze with stunned eyes, tear tracks glistening in low light.

And then the world breaks again with the revelation that Josh is the maniac and everything is a chaotic mess of furious shouting and accusations and Chris honestly doesn't know what to think or feel when Mike ends up punching Josh.

(It is not enough to distract him from noticing the way that Ashley is studiously avoiding him, or the guilt that hits him like a sucker punch whenever their eyes happen to meet.)

Then he is running for his life through the snow, from a creature that shouldn't exist, and the relief is overwhelming when he sees the door. It is equalled only by the horror and disbelief when he realises that Ashley isn't going to open it for him. He sees her hesitate, sees the bitterness and uncertainty in her eyes and suddenly he knows that, like him, she is replaying the moment when he pulled the trigger in her head.

It's still a surprise, somehow, when she starts backing away and he has a single heartbeat to feel the despair and betrayal tear through him like a knife through the chest. Then a clawed hand hooks into the back of his jacket and yanks him away from the door, away from the lodge, away from safety.

Chris likes to think he is a brave person but the last thing he sees in this world is the blank face of the girl he tried to sacrifice to save himself, and he can feel nothing but shame.

And then, nothing at all.

xxx

Ashley is not a brave person.

She never has been – scared of heights and scared of drowning, scared of dogs and scared of the dark. Scared of being trapped underground, or of being lost in the wilderness. She has good qualities but bravery is not one of them.

She knows herself and this is the reason that she is not surprised, in some distant corner of her mind, by the way she falls to pieces when their world collapses around them, when Josh dies and they are hunted through the dark by a psychopath.

When she wakes up tied to a chair and realises what's going on, the fear that overwhelms her is so acute that her vision bleeds white for a moment and her mind goes completely blank. When she comes back to herself she is sobbing Chris' name and nearly hyperventilating.

Then everything is a whirl of fear and anger and grief for lost opportunities, and the psycho laughs, deep and mocking, as the saws descend, spinning and spitting sparks.

Chris puts the gun to his own head and Ashley screams his name because the only thing in that moment that scares her more dying, is to be left alone in the dark, with a maniac hell-bent on her murder (because it's so obvious how this is going to end, he's not going to be satisfied until they're all dead.)

"Stop, Chris! Don't do it!" Her shout rings out above the sounded of the whirring sawblades, even scratchy with tears as it is. "It should be me, Chris, you chose to save me last time – let me do that for you! Please!"

Some part of her is still surprised when he listens to her, when he turns the gun on her; the weapon glints in the low light and Chris' face is a study in torn, anguished misery.

Then he pulls the trigger and the sound is impossibly loud and Ashley's mind goes white with panic and in the split second before the bullet hits her she wonders if she has made a mistake –

But there is no bullet, no tearing impact in her chest, and the psycho laughs and laughs because he is insane, and he is Josh, he is Josh, her friend, her friend no longer –

Her other friends are a seething angry mess of betrayal and shock, and it is not until she is sitting in the lodge's living room that her mind clears enough to think and then she doesn't know what to think.

Because either she or Chris should be dead, but now neither of them are and she has to live with the knowledge that he would have killed her, the boy she loved would have killed her to save himself –

At your request, a small part of her mind reminds her, but logic has no place in this, and anger and fear and betrayal twist themselves into an ugly knot around her heart, all but strangling her better nature.

And this is what makes her hesitate, when she sees him running through the snow full-tilt towards the lodge, monsters nipping at his heels.

Why should I risk my life for you, when you would not do the same for me?

It's ugly and bitter and unfair, and it's what makes her hesitate long enough for the decision to be taken out of her hands because the nightmarish creature is too close to Chris and the door, and to open it now would only achieve two deaths instead of one.

She backs away, cold with fear, as he pounds on the door and cries out her name in desperation and disbelief. A second later he is ripped away by the monster and then his head lands on the ground, spilling scarlet across the snow, and the thought strikes her with stunning force, this is my fault.

She is blank-faced with shock when Mike comes running in and his furious grief is what eventually rouses her enough say, faintly, "It was too late…"

Too late to make the right decision, is what she means, but Mike quickly sweeps her out of the room and it is too late to correct her words, and maybe some part of her is guiltily relieved because otherwise everyone would know that it was her fault and she dreads to think how they would look at her.

(In another world, the boy she loves finds his courage and kills himself, and in return, she finds her own and saves his life. But this is not that world.)

Ashley is not a brave person.

A/N: This story was sparked by the fact I find Ashley frustratingly difficult to characterise because, depending on your choices, she is just so different. I think this is possibly the kindest way to write to her in order to make her not two entirely different people and still sympathetic. (At least, I hope it is. I was aiming for sympathetic. xD) It's frustrating as well because even if you choose not to have Chris shoot Ashley, she's still not a strong/brave person. Her best moment would probably be when she found the courage to stab the Psycho (although it ultimately failed to save her) or when she put her own life at risk to venture in the dark to help who she thought was Jessica (which also ultimately was a bad thing, not to mention stupid. But then, if it had been Jess, we'd all be applauding her bravery, so hey ho, swings and roundabouts.)

I know Ashley gets a lot of flack for her decision/lack of decision regarding Chris, but then, Chris' decision to shoot Ash wasn't exactly a great moment for him either. I interpret it as panic and possibly Ash's pleading that makes him lose his bottle for shooting himself, in the event that he chooses to shoot her instead – although it's a lot more difficult to feel sympathy for him when Ashley turns on him if you don't get her dialogue where she pleads for him to sacrifice her instead.

…Anyway, speech over. xD Thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed, please leave a comment. :)