"Oh what we could be
if we stopped
carrying the remains
of who we were."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

"Time to go."

Eren's jaw drops as he glares up at the stupid janitor who thinks he has the right to boss them around. Well, he doesn't. "I'm not—" Eren starts.

"Carla would want you kids to head to school now," Hannes tells him, but he doesn't so much as glance in Mom's direction. She lies pale and small under a blanket. For all Eren knows she could be cold and want another blanket, or too hot and want the one she has removed. But his mother's unconscious, unmoving and surrounded by machines. Wires sprout out of her like tentacles, keeping her alive and keeping him from her, and now Hannes wants him to leave her.

"You can't make me," Eren informs Hannes. He clenches his fists and glances to Mikasa.

Ghosts haunt and shadows hang from her eyes. Again, Eren knows she's thinking. A second time, she may be orphaned.

But they won't be. Mom will wake up. Eren is certain and goddammit, he's going to be here when it happens. Screw Hannes, screw this freaking boarding school. Even if his father wanted them to go to it. Father's dead now, and if he were here and saw Mom's condition, surely he wouldn't want Eren and Mikasa to leave.

"You don't have a choice, kiddo. I'm your legal guardian."

"Not my dad," Eren retorts. Mikasa scowls.

"Eren, really, Armin's waiting in the car."

"I can't leave my mom!"

"You're leaving!"

Mikasa stands, her eyes narrowed.

"Eren, your mother would want you to take care of yourself. Go to school. Make friends."

"But I won't leave her!" Eren screams.

"Is there a problem?" asks a tall security guard, pushing his way into the room.

Every muscle in Eren's body tenses. "He's trying to make me—"

"I'm his legal guardian—" Hannes insists.

"Well if that's the case, then God help you." The security guard folds his arms. "You do need to leaqve. All of you. You're upsetting other patients and their families on the floor."

"But that's my mom!" Eren cries out. He can't leave her—if she wakes up when he's not there—if she dies when he's not—

"Do you want me to haul your ass to jail? Because you're definitely pushing me," threatens the security guard. The machines beep mercilessly in the background. "Go with your guardian to school or go to jail. But you aren't staying here, kid."

"We're going with Hannes," Mikasa says, stepping closer. Her hand closes around Eren's arm.

Shame and rage churn in Eren's stomach. Mom. It's only been two weeks since the accident, and he can't fathom how Hannes can be so cruel. He's always known him to be a bloated arrogant jerk, but this is—this is—

"Come on, Eren," Mikasa says, tilting her head towards the door. A nurse laughs out by the desk and Eren could punch her. People are dying, and you're laughing?

But he lets Mikasa pull him along, because at least she cares about Mom. He knows she does.

All of his belongings are packed up, stuffed into suitcases by strangers' hands, strangers who feel pity for a boy who lost his father and might lose his mother. Eren hates their pity, especially when none of them care enough to take him and Mikasa in so they can stay near the hospital. Now, they'll be four hours away, up a mountain at Kyojin High School.

"Eren!" Armin leaps out of the car and throws his arms around his friend, and then around Mikasa too. "Are you—" He swallows.

"It's not fair they're making us leave her," Eren mutters.

"I'm sure the doctors will—"

"If they're as incompetent as the blasted police, who are all 'we'll look into it' and then looking is all they do—"

"What could you even do though?" Mikasa asks. "You know nothing about medicine."

Eren scowls. It just—it makes him feel better to be closer.

"They'll let you visit her," Armin assures Eren as they slide into the back of the car. "I'm sure they will."

Mikasa leans her face against the glass window, closing her eyes. She must be tired. Eren is, too. His bones feel heavy, but when he closes his eyes at night in that strange hotel room, he just hears the screeching of brakes, the snap and the thud and the high-pitched shattering of glass. And then he sees the car leaving, hears his father speaking for the last time...

Eren never thought his father was at risk. Not like Mom. He was at least talking when the ambulance came.

And Mikasa, calling 911. Mikasa, holding him back to let the EMTs do their job.

The doctors apologized in the hospital, and Eren didn't believe them. They wouldn't even let him see his father's body for hours, but when he saw it-reality crashed hard, tore him up on the inside.

Try to stop thinking about it, the psychologist encouraged him. Not that he could. And if he could, wouldn't that be a betrayal of his parents?

Eren opens his eyes to find Armin offering him a Snapple. Rain pours outside the car, and Hannes is listening to some terrible music filled with whining and popping instruments. Jazz, Eren thinks.

Eren's head leans against Mikasa's shoulder, and her head against his. Eren accepts the drink, prying himself back up. Mikasa jolts awake.

"We're almost there," Hannes announces.

"Excited to get back to cleaning toilets?" Eren snips.

"Shut it, Jaeger."

Mikasa bites her lip and leans forward. She winces and rubs her neck, as if there's a crick in it. "We'll be in separate dorms, won't we?"

"You will be," Hannes says, oblivious to the fact that Mikasa winces. "But Eren and Armin will be together. I think."

"Fantastic," Armin says cheerfully. He leans across Eren. "Don't worry, Mikasa," he whispers. "If you need us, we'll figure out a way."

Mikasa almost smiles.

Hannes turns and drives in through stone gate. He parks under an archway and motions for the kids to get out. "I'll take care of your bags."

"Where are we supposed to go?" Eren demands.

"See that guy?" Hannes points to a tall, blond man wearing a solemn face and perfectly ironed clothes despite the rain. "That's the dean. Erwin Smith. He'll take care of you."

They tumble out of the car into the sticky air. Erwin Smith nods at them. "Names?"

"Eren Jaegar. This is Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlert."

Erwin's eyes widen at Mikasa's name. Eren frowns as Erwin glances over his shoulder, towards a pathetically short dark-haired man wearing a scowl. But Eren's heard of this short man—his father praised him as a pioneer in mathematics. Levi. Eren just can't remember his last name. Did Dad ever even mention it?

"We're happy to have you," Erwin says, folding his hands. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Eren nods. Mikasa stares at her shoes.

Mom... how is she? Eren checks his phone. No texts, not that he expects the doctors to notify him. No, they'd probably notify Hannes, and knowing that idiot, it could take days before Hannes finally got up the nerve to tell them anything.

"Ackerman, you're in the Rose dorm," Erwin tells her, studying a list of papers he has sprawled out on the desk in front of him. "Levi, would you show her where that is?"

The dark-haired man nods. Mikasa turns to them with her face pale.

"We'll see you at dinner?" Armin asks.

"See you," Mikasa agrees.

"Jaeger and Arlert, you're in the Maria dorm. And you're roommates."

"Fantastic!" Armin exclaims, and maybe for the first time since the accident, Eren allows himself to feel some relief.

"You're right in here," Nanaba, the dorm parent, tells Mikasa as she ushers her into a small room with red-tiled floors and blank, cream-colored walls.

"Hi! Are you my roommate?" chirps a brown-haired girl, leaping to her feet. She clutches a bag of Skittles in one hand and stuffs several in her mouth. "I'm Sasha, Sasha Braus. It's nice to meet you. Do you want some Skittles?"

"No thanks," Mikasa manages as Sasha grins at her.

"I've been here all day and let me tell you, it's been boring. Tomorrow won't be so boring, I don't think—the cafeteria and the snack bar will be open at least, plus classes start so of course we'll be busy."

A small door in the side of the room swings open, and a blond girl who's so small she looks like an elf appears. "Did you say you had Skittles?"

"Yes!" Sasha exclaims. "Do you want some?"

The girl nods and heads over, holding out her palm for some of the candy. She smiles at Mikasa. "I'm Christa Lenz. I'm your suitemate. Ymir!" she hollers.

A girl covered in freckles, slightly taller than Mikasa herself and looking older than her years, shuffles in. "Ymir," she says by way of greeting.

"I'm Mikasa Ackerman."

"Sasha Braus," sings Sasha. "Skittles?"

Ymir snorts. "No thanks. Candy isn't really my thing." She smiles at Christa, who shrugs and pops a lemon one in her mouth.

"I think we're all new this year, aren't we?" asks Sasha.

"I am," Mikasa confirms.

"Like, practically the only people who aren't are those two," Sasha continues, nodding out the door. Mikasa follows her gaze to see two blond girls leaving their room across the dorm. One heads for the center courtyard, and the other heads for the gate. "Annie Leonhardt is the one leaving, and she's, like, really strong. I saw her doing push-ups in her room."

"What, are you a lesbian?" asks Ymir.

"Nope, but it wouldn't matter if I was," Sasha retorts.

"Agreed," Ymir says, shoving her hands into her pockets.

"Hitch is the other one. She seems to like makeup. A lot," Sasha comments. "And she has a boyfriend in the Maria dorm."

Mikasa peers outside. Even at the distance, she can tell that Hitch overdid it with garish lips.

"Are there a lot of sports here?" asks Christa cheerfully.

"There's a soccer team, and basketball, and like track too I think," Sasha answers, dropping onto her bedspread, which looks like a Starburst exploded. Speaking of Starbursts, Mikasa can see an entire bag stuffed into a red mug on Sasha's desk. Mikasa smiles.

"I'd join track," Mikasa says. "I like sports."

"You look like you'd be good at them," Christa offers with a smile. "Oh, I didn't mean—did I offend you? I just meant that you look, like, like you'd be strong and all."

Mikasa shakes her head. "You didn't offend me." She pulls out her phone and checks it.

"Friends?" asks Sasha.

"My two best friends are also here," Mikasa confirms. Technically Eren's her foster brother, of course, but she doesn't like using that term. She's never thought of Eren like a brother.

Not that he's thought of her as anything but a sister and a friend. And Mikasa's okay with that. At the very least, she gets to be close to him, and that's all she needs. His presence calms her, reminds her that she's alive and it's good to be alive.

Because Eren is the first person, besides her parents, who thought she was worth something. Eren reminded her that she was a person, not a thing, when she had forgotten.

And she knows what he's going through right now. Carla and Grisha—they were so kind to Mikasa. Neither of them deserved this.

Random accident, the police said. It happens. Intoxicated driving's on the rise lately. They probably panicked and drove off. Unless someone talks, we don't know how likely it is that we'll find them.

I'll find them if you won't! Eren raged.

Except now he cares more about his mother than revenge. If Carla dies, Mikasa's genuinely afraid for Eren.

"I saw you on the news," Christa ventures, keeping her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry."

"What happened?" Ymir asks.

"Tell you later," Christa promises.

"Thanks," Mikasa says. She knows they mean well.

After her parents died, only the Jaegers' laughter, their smiles and kindness and embraces, drowned out her memories of her parents' screams, of knives and threats and lying there, wondering why she would want to live. This school—it's not the same as a family, but if it can give Eren a sense of purpose, keep him grounded…

He should give it a chance. He will.

Sorry Mikasa, Armin texts as Eren scowls.

"This place is awful. It's like a prison."

"They're just making us get dinner as a dorm, Eren. Only for the first night, according to Moblit." Their dorm parent, who seems tolerable. Armin pulls out his trigonometry textbook and peruses the pages. "Tomorrow we can eat with Mikasa."

Don't worry about it, Mikasa texts back. The people in my dorm seem nice. I'll eat with them.

A bell rings—well, sort of a bell. It sounds like a rusted metal stick banging on a sheet of more rusted metal, which is exactly what it is. Armin grabs his umbrella and heads outside, Eren behind him.

A group assembles in the courtyard. A tall, skinny boy with freckles sticks out his hand. "Hi, I'm Marco, Marco Bott."

"Armin Arlert," Armin stammers. Marco's smile appears genuine and friendly. Eren?

"Eren Jaeger," Eren grumbles.

No luck.

"This is—" Marco begins, motioning to the boy next to him, a boy with hair too gelled and styled for such rainy weather.

"Jean Kirchstein," the boy says proudly, as if that name should mean something, but as much as Armin wracks his brain, he can't say he's ever heard of the name before.

"I'm Connie Springer," says a short boy with his head shaved as if he's going into the military. "Nice to meet you all."

"You're all new, aren't you?" Jean asks.

Marco laughs, a hearty sound. "So are you, Jean."

Armin smiles. He likes Marco. Eren, on the other hand, rolls his eyes the moment Jean opens his mouth.

"Yeah, true, but like… this is the best boarding school in the country. You could look a little happier, Jaeger."

"I could—what?" Eren's jaw drops. His fists clench and even in the dimming evening light, Armin sees a familiar tomato-hued flush storming his friend's face. It's the same defensive anger that always protected Armin from bullies at their old school.

On second thought, Eren may have rightly assessed him, Armin decides.

"Hey, leave him alone," hisses Marco.

"Yeah, don't you watch the news? This is Grisha Jaeger's kid. The scientist. Like, my mom wants me to be Grisha Jaeger 2.0," Connie says, glancing at Armin and Eren.

Eren nods as if Connie gets points for that. Although Armin guesses he had no idea his father was so well known. Grisha wasn't the type to play anything up.

"Who's your roommate, Connie?" Armin asks, changing the subject.

"His name's Marlowe. He's in the restroom right now, and he's not new, so I'm not sure if he's joining us." Connie shrugs. "Seems nice enough. He's got a girlfriend down in the Rose dorm that he's been texting all day."

"Hey!" Marco calls at two boys sitting off by themselves on a stone wall. "Who're you guys?"

The one with lighter hair, who looks like a rugby player or a hulk minus the green skin, rises. "Reiner Braun."

"Bertolt Hoover," whispers the other boy next to him, who is freakishly tall. Still, Bertolt wraps his arms around himself as if trying to fold up his giant limbs will help him shrink. It won't.

"Do you all have gym first period tomorrow?" asks Connie. "Like, what a way to start the day." He grins as if he's actually pumped.

Well, I guess it's good to get blood flowing, Armin decides.

"And it's co-ed. My old school, it was all boys, and it was boring," Connie adds with a wink.

Marco stares at his shoes as Jean laughs.

"Let's go!" Moblit yells, reappearing from his apartment, which is attached to the dorm.

The meal itself—lemon and thyme chicken with rice—is pretty good, at least better than the microwave dinners Armin makes for himself most nights. And way better than the hospital food Eren and Mikasa have been surviving on. But Eren still barely talks, his brow knotted and his phone next to his tray. He does wave at Mikasa when she passes by.

"Who is that?" Jean asks, jaw hanging open as his eye glue themselves to her.

"Our friend," Armin says quickly. The last thing he needs is for Eren to overhear and literally kill Jean.

"Does she have a name?"

"Ask her yourself," Armin replies, taking another bite of the cookies they served for dessert. They have chocolate in them. Armin likes chocolate.

Jean nods.

When they get back to their room, Armin yawns. "I'm going to sleep early."

"I'm not." Eren grabs his backpack and his suitcase. "I'm getting out of here."

What? The food Armin just ate solidifies into a rock in his stomach, a rock that rolls around and scrapes at his insides. "You can't run away!"

"I'm not the best climber, but I'm pretty sure I can scale these walls," Eren replies as he stuffs clothes into his bag.

Armin clutches his skull. "I'm pretty sure you shouldn't try, Eren."

"I have to. No one's texted me. I need—my mom needs me." Eren shakes his head.

Mikasa, help, Armin texts.

"You should come with me," Eren insists, rising and dropping his phone onto his bed. "You're my best friend."

"I'll help you get out," Armin says. "But, Eren, we can't leave. We're safe here. We're—"

"How is the hospital not safe?" Eren shakes his head.

Really, Eren? Armin wants to ask, but he bites his tongue. It hasn't occurred to you that what happened to your parents might not be an accident?

Where are you? Mikasa's text lights up Armin's phone.

Meet outside of the dorm. Eren's trying to run away.

I know. He just texted me.

He really can't, Mikasa.

No response. Armin's chest tightens. If Mikasa agrees with Eren, they're screwed. And Armin has to come, because he's not letting his friends endure this alone. Not when they might need him.

Eren slings his bag over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

Armin swallows.

"You shouldn't, you know," Eren says, biting his lip. "Not if you don't want to. I know school's important to you, and—"

"Neither of us should go," Armin says. "Your mom would want—"

"Me to be there for her," Eren finishes, stalking out of the room.

Armin rolls his eyes as he follows. "But Eren—"

"Just stay here, if you want to." Eren keeps his voice low. Cicadas hum and frogs chirp. Armin hopes he doesn't step on any of them. Above them, the stars dot the sky.

Armin snorts. "The three of us have done everything together, for years. You really think I'll let that end now?"

Eren pauses and turns.

"Didn't you want to be a scientist, like your father?" Armin presses. "This school—it'll help you get there, you know it will—you so wanted to join, even just a few weeks ago—"

"A few weeks ago my parents were—" Eren stops.

Armin lowers his head in shame. He shouldn't have said that.

"I can't think about my future beyond Mom waking up, or—" Eren balls his fists. "Or—" He gulps air. "Dad would want me to look after her."

"Eren—"

Eren shakes his head and hoists himself up one of the columns. From there, he climbs over the roof. Armin bites the insides of his cheeks to keep from cursing as he hauls himself up.

When Armin drops to the ground outside the dorm, he finds Mikasa waiting for them with a scowl, her ever-present scarf tied around her neck.

"Where are you going?"

Eren swallows. Tall pine trees rise all around them, branches and needles rustling in the breeze. Even though it's stopped raining, water still flings off, splattering against Armin's arms. "Back to the hospital."

Mikasa crosses her arms. "How are you going to get there?"

"I'll hire a taxi."

"You think security won't recognize you? Us? We're fifteen, Eren. We—"

"She's my mom; I can't leave her!" Eren shouts.

"Eren!" hisses Armin, glancing around nervously. An owl hoots.

"I—"

Mikasa decks Eren.

Holy shit. Armin's jaw drops. He's never seen Mikasa—

"She wants you to live, and you know she does! Waiting at that hospital—what are you going to accomplish?" Mikasa snaps. "Don't you remember?"

Silence. Armin drags the toe of his shoe through the dirt. He knows what Mikasa's referring to, even though neither of his friends likes to bring it up. Eren clutches his face, gaping at his friend.

"Please, Eren," Mikasa says, her voice catching. "Study here. Learn how to—be a scientist, if you want to be like your father, or a cop if you want to take down people like the one who hurt your parents."

Mikasa never pleads. Armin's heart surges up his throat as Eren hesitates.

"You're putting yourself at risk," Mikasa says. "You know you are. We both know something's isn't right about what the police say happened."

So they have realized. Armin's shoulders relax. At least, Mikasa has.

Crunch.

Pine needles.

Boots.

Armin lunges towards the trees just as a tiny blond girl, her hair tied up in a ponytail, emerges from between two of them. Her heart-shaped face is more interesting than pretty.

"Who are you?" Armin stammers.

She looks at him as if he's a louse she'd like to squash. Her lips curve as she takes in Eren and his bag, and Mikasa. "What do you have in there?"

Eren's eyes widen.

"It's none of your business why we're out here," Mikasa snaps.

"Fine. You don't ask me, I won't ask you." She brushes past Armin, her shoulder bumping against his. Wet pine needles cover the backs of her jeans, as if she's been sitting on the ground. Why?

"Are you heading back to the dorm, Annie?" Mikasa asks.

Annie nods. Mikasa glances to Eren.

"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast," Eren offers her. His tone's more of a grumble, but Armin will take it.

Thank God. Armin wilts in relief as Mikasa waves goodnight. He glances back over his shoulder, towards the trees.

What on earth was she doing?

"Come on, Armin," Eren grumbles. "Er… will you help me get my bag over?" He looks almost sheepish.

Armin grins and shakes off his questions. "What are friends for?"

Thank you for reading! Obviously, since this story is set in a modern high school/boarding school, I've decided to change a few background details around, so it's not exactly a retelling (although you can expect a few similar plot beats, and I hope to stay as true to the characters as possible). Also, like the manga/anime it's based on, this story will deal with themes like trauma, abusive dynamics, and mental illness, and it will also deal with sexuality and some teenage substance use going forward, so please be forewarned if that could be triggering. In addition, the two primary romances will be Eremika and Aruani (for the record, there will also be Springles, Levihan, Jeanmarco, Yumikuri, and Reibert. If you like Ereri, there won't be any romance but they'll form a pretty close bond as well, in a mentor type way). I plan to update weekly.