Chapter 7

TONY'S POV

Tony's eyes fluttered open to dazzling blue lights and swimming faces, hues smeared and melded together in a sea of unrelenting tears. He could feel them as they rolled down his face, scolding and hot, dribbling soundlessly over his parched and trembling lips, and trickling in puddles over the pillow that rested beneath his head. Pain resonated from everywhere; his chest, his head, his heart, his stomach, his lungs, even the thick layer of skin that covered all of that. It stung; it burned; it throbbed. Yet it was barely significant against the immense relief that flooded every fibre within his being, a torrent within his shattered soul, quenching the agony scathing the remaining fragments of his heart.

It was all real. The room; the bed; the blankets; that horrible, thrumming beep; those faces; the pain; even the body that his conscience resided in. All real. Not just a torment of his subconscious. And despite it all - the agony, the sorrow, the tears - a grin plucked at the corners of his lips, happiness replacing the fear, the anger, the heartache, expanding inside him like oxygen inflating a balloon until he almost felt he could burst.

"Tony!" voices greeted cheerfully and Tony blinked furiously, trying fruitlessly to rid the watery blur that danced across his vision. Instinctively, he tried to reach up to his face to wipe the tears from his eyes, only to have his hands arrested by dense leather cuffs wound so tightly around his wrists that he'd lost the sensation in his fingers. A surge of panic gushed through him as he yanked again at his restraints, yet they remained constricting and unyielding around his arms, pinning him down against the bed. His breath quickened, chest heaving, tugging at the crushed bones jammed in his side. A suffocated cry quivered from his tongue at the dawning, terrifying realisation that he'd been all wrong, that this wasn't actually real and he was still trapped inside the nightmare, bound to his unconscious reality forever.

There were screams. Horrible screams...of denial...of grief...of terror.

Is that me, shrieking like that?

I can't stop...

Why can't I stop?!

Suddenly, someone's hands reached out to him within his apse of misery and self-pity, strong, warm arms enveloping him in what he knew to be a hug and he froze, his yowls ceasing as shock and bewilderment caught him off guard. He felt the cuffs slacken and unravel from his limbs as a familiar, condoling voice whispered into his ear, "It's ok now, Tony. It's over. It's all over..."

Tony felt his body seize even further at the realisation that it was his father who embraced him. He knew that presence, that voice, those arms, those hands. The way they clutched him, swallowed him, steadier than ever. Howard wasn't a touchy-feely kind of dad, but as Tony felt the final cuff unhook from his wrist, he didn't hesitate to throw his arms around his father, disregarding every spasm of agony just to sink into his touch, raising his cheek to his dad's chest, beyond relieved to feel heat radiating from it once more. His father was alive, and although that painful knowing that he had more to lose now than ever in his life had returned once again, the solace that he hadn't lost him made him more happy than he thought he could be. He honestly didn't believe his heart could take that devastation ever again...

After a moment, shuddering and trembling, Tony unfurled himself from his dad's clutches as he brushed his palms over his cheeks, smearing away the fresh droplets of tears that had spilled free. With his throat narrowing, he spluttered on his words. "I'm f-fine now, D-Dad. I'm - I'm ok."

With his sight growing to some kind of watery clarity, Tony was able to find some distinctness in where he was. The sense of familiarity he acknowledged in the room told him that he'd been here before; the carbon fibre walls; the blue LED lamps shedding light from the ceiling; the computer system extended across the width of the space; the looming scent of sterility, similar to the stench that dwelled in a hospital ward, but not quite the same. Yep, he was certain of it now; he was stabilised on the S.H.I.E.L.D Hellicarrior, and if he was here, Fury was bound to be lingering somewhere... There he was! Standing by the side of Agent Hill, observing his little display of waterworks from the far corner. Great! Now his dignity was truly screaming, and he didn't even know the worst part of it yet...

Howard was situated closest to his side, still gripping Tony's shoulder, beaming despite how his features still furrowed with worry and how his eyelids appeared puffy and swollen with the obvious indications of tiredness. Yet his father took a silent step backwards as Pepper practically barrelled passed, followed with a little less enthusiasm by Rhodey, their smiles blossoming to their eyes. Tony had been wrong before; now he was truly exploding with happiness.

"Pepper! Rhodey!" He hailed, his relief streaming out of him in waves. Yet before he could even begin to arrange his relief into words, Pepper had literally pounced into his unsuspecting arms and planted her lips directly onto his.

Tony's eyes stretched wide. Hers were shut gently, almost peacefully as she leaned against him, her hands spread out across his chest, grappling fistfuls of his torn and burnt T-shirt. He felt flaming, intense heat expand in his stomach, rush up his neck and glow a brilliant magenta across his cheeks. For a moment, his arms flailed as he had no idea where to place his hands, alternating from her back, to her shoulders, to her hips until eventually he rested them on her waist, his entire body remaining taunt in surprise. Vaguely, he could hear Rhodey cracking himself laughing and even heard his dad release an amused chuckle, only serving to turn him more scarlet.

Finally, Pepper pulled backwards, her skin flushed and her lips blooming in a rich ruby red. For the first time, Tony noticed her red rimmed eyes and the thick tears silently edging down her cheeks.

Still gripping her waist, Tony managed to stutter out, "What - What was that for?"

Pepper released a laboured huff, lifting a hand to rub furiously at her wet face as she rolled her eyes, croaking, "Give it a rest, Tony. We saw everything that happened in your dream."

Tony felt his jaw plummet, his eyelids burst into circles, his tongue parch completely. "W-what!" It was as though a fist of humiliation and horror had thrust directly into his diaphragm, purging his lungs of all air. With his hands still clutching Pepper's sides, his head swivelled to his father, completely flabbergasted as his eyes seethed for an explanation. "B-b-but how?!"

Just as Howard's lips parted to speak, General Fury took a generous step forward, cutting over him with his sardonic tone, the slightest glimmer of humour prickling in only seeable eye. "Your use of Extremis became unstable while you were...unconscious, if you prefer. Your mind unintentionally interfaced with the computer systems here."

At the baffled expression still lingering on Tony's face, Pepper chipped in, her voice erratic as she explained, words erupting from her in a tangent, her short auburn hair floundering about her face. "It pretty much showed us a 24/7 window inside your head, kind of like a movie, yet way real! Right? And you made all these objects float in the air, which was kind of creepy, yet SUPER cool!"

A groan of embarrassment rose in Tony's throat as he sank back down into the tangled bedsheets, his hands finally falling away from Pepper's waist to claw at the mattress, digging handfuls of it with his fingertips. He squeezed his eyes shut as fury rose up within him, ranging to the barriers of his control as his face contorted, his cheeks tightening, jaw clenching, teeth grinding, threatening to pour out of him at any moment. He felt as though someone had invaded his internal privacy, unhinged it and exploited all of his secrets that were now splayed out for all eyes to see. He remembered all of the tears, the raw fear that had spewed unrestrained from him and felt more vulnerable than ever, even more so than the time he'd completely broken down at Dad's supposed 'funeral'. And that had just been in a bathroom with Rhodey as his only witness.

Tony felt a hand curl around his chin and gently raise his head upwards. Out of stubbornness, Tony kept his eyes sealed closed, shaking with the fury and humiliation riling inside him. "Tony, look at me," his father's voice murmured softly, yet the way he spoke was orderly and demanding, one not to be trifled with. With a low, growling exhale, Tony dragged open his eyes to level with irises an identical hue of blue to his, cool with content despite how his blazed with anger.

"Forget it now, Tony," Howard cooed, his tone firm but soothing as his words washed over Tony. "Your reactions were human; no one could ask any more of you."

Tony flinched in his dad's grasp, his mouth clamping shut even harder as he struggled against the tightness that twisted inside his throat, fuelling a fresh wave of infuriation towards himself. No matter what happened, he was going to clutch onto the remnants of dignity he had left for dear life. He was Iron Man; Superheroes didn't break. They didn't fall apart. They didn't cry.

And yet he had, so many times. As his father's corpse lay scorched in the field of ash; as water preached his lungs and buried him alive in that unbreakable box of glass; as Rhodey choked and spluttered on his own blood, a wide hole impaled through his abdomen; and as he arose from the nightmare that had kept him imprisoned to his worst fears, realising that out of all that, none of it had been real. He didn't feel like a hero. He felt like a child that had bitten off far more than he could possibly hope to ever chew. A boy, playing the role as the man. A human clad with an inhuman suit of armour. Pretending to be immortal when he was just as mortal as the guy next door. Had he really blurred the silver lining so much that he'd completely abandoned his humanity? Had he really steeled his heart so much that cold hard logic was all that had been left to quiver in its wake? Because if he had, he'd served to become everything he hated.

Tony winced again, tossing his head furiously, his anger draining away to be replaced by a stone of dread dropping painfully into his gut. He tried to shake himself free of his father's grasp, yet Howard's fingers were hooked like a vice over his jaw, refusing to budge, despite how much he squirmed. "Tony!" Howard cried, his eyes growing large, clearly startled by his son's reaction. "That's enough, Tony! You're ok!"

"No, Dad," he croaked, his voice trembling as he gave up his futile struggling, instead pressing his eyelids shut tightly so he no longer had to gaze into his father's face and witness the disappointment that would surely flare within it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, to Roberta, to Pepper, to Rhodey. I'm sorry I went after Doom; I thought I could handle it, but clearly I was wrong. I just - I just got so caught up in getting revenge, in getting payback for what happened to you...that Iron Man lost its meaning. Iron Man was never about getting revenge, about making his enemies suffer just as much as they'd made him suffer. He was about caring about people - about saving live - just as his father had. I didn't mean to become so blind, so full of hatred that I couldn't see straight anymore. I was an idiot, and I'm sorry."

Tony gulped thickly, shame burning inside his chest, a heavy burden on his lungs, making it difficult to breathe, to concentrate as he awaited for the harsh words to punch into him like blunt knives. Yet he only felt the hand around his chin fasten further, nails burying deep into his skin, yet it wasn't a gesture of anger or frustration, but one of exasperation and desperation. Tony squinted open an eye, still fearing rejection and criticism, only to see his father's face arranged in a sorrowful smile, beaming with love, a warmth projecting from him in a way that could only be compared to basking in the infinite glow of the sun.

"Tony, people make mistakes. People mess up. It's just part of being who you are; a human being. You just need to acknowledge it when you do and learn from the experience so you don't make the same mistake again."

The corners of his eyes began to sting and Tony blinked angrily as he averted his gaze to the ceiling, attempting pitifully to rid the damn tears from his eyes. He felt silly, stupid, a foolish kid that had stuffed up more times than he could begin to comprehend. With a belated sigh, he nodded and was relieved to feel the hand withdraw its hold on his face, as though satisfied by his wordless reply. Tony hunched over, placing his face in his hands, applying the palms harshly against his eyelids, watching as sparks burst beneath them. A sudden drowsiness flooded over him; he felt as though he'd aged a decade or two without a wink of shuteye in the time of a heartbeat. You'd think he'd be overactive and alert after three days of being stuck in a coma, but he felt like the equivalent of the living dead.

Tony felt a new hand fall on his shoulder and his gaze snapped from his hands to Rhodey's face, blanched with his own exhaustion yet holding a look of finality and wisdom. "Listen, man. You've stuffed up a lot over the past two years."

Tony ground out a humourless laugh between gnashed teeth. "Gee, thanks, Rhodey. A great way to bring up my spirits right now!"

Rhodey just sighed, shaking his head with irritation. "Just hear me out, Tony. But when you do, you always come round and pull off something that saves more lives than anyone thought you could. I don't know how many times we'll have to tell you before it gets through your giant head, but you don't have to do this alone. Forget about Doom, man; we'll figure out something to take him down. Together."

"Yeah, Tony," Pepper chimed, stepping forward and curling her arms around both Tony and Rhodey's shoulders, her face glowing with a smile. "We're Team Iron Man; nothing can break us."

Tony felt the bitterness drip away completely as a sheepish smirk twisted his lips, his eyes roaming over his friends with a sense of contentment. "Thanks, you guys."

"Now come on, big hug!" Pepper cheered, compressing them all into an embrace which was received with great retaliation by the two boys.

"P-Pepper, I think you just crushed my spine."

"Get. Off. Pepper. Can't. Breathe."

Pepper gradually released them, bellowing with laughter - her hands resting on her hips, her head thrown back, strawberry red locks fluttering, shrill giggles pouring from her lips in the beautiful way they do - and Tony felt his heart speed in its hammering rate, his own laughter tumbling free, ignoring the jerks of pain it triggered along his ribs. Abruptly, her spout of sniggering quelled to a halt as she extended her hand to his and entwined their fingers together, her butterscotch orbs round and shimmering as they peered hopefully into his eyes. Tony felt his gut twist with a strange cocktail of nervousness and excitement; now his heart was beating out of his chest.

With his gaze drifting from their locked hands to her keen features, Tony stammered, his mouth turning dry, words tugging from his tongue congested and strained. "Right - um - Pepper..."

With his panic rising, Tony turned to Rhodey, his face warping painfully as he silently pleaded for his friend's advice, yet Rhodey just shrugged, appearing nonplussed by the circumstance. "All yours, dude."

Tony felt the heat blemishing over his face once again as his lips parted and closed repeatedly like a fish that had forgotten it could breathe without its mouth. Her body was merely a wisp away, her full, silky lips irresistibly close, as though she was actually trying to tease him to take the final step and swoop forward, capturing them on his own. For a heartbeat, an internal war raged on inside him, battling his desire as though it was his arch enemy. Yet eventually, he managed to hook an anchor into himself, knowing all too well that she deserved an explanation first, heaving a sigh as he began to speak, struggling to keep his eyes trained on anything but her lips.

"Listen, Pepper; before we do anything, there's just something I have to say -"

"Ha, I knew this would happen," Pepper exhaled, her eyes drooping sadly as a cold smile shadowed over her features that were now downcast with disappointment. "I suppose you're just going to say that it was an accident, that you didn't know what you were thinking, that you want to talk about this later."

"No! Pepper," Tony cried, tightening his fingers around her hand as his stomach clenched with a sudden swoon of dismay. "I want to talk about this now, just - listen to me for a second. It wasn't an accident when I - when I - kissed you earlier, ok? I'm sorry you had to find out this way; I was going to tell you so many times. I would wake up each morning, saying I was going to tell you, but then - something would come up, or...when I got the chance...I would just chicken out..." He paused, a shuddering breath escaping from his lips as hers came back into view and he struggled against the invisible rope furled around his jaw, slowly drawing him closer and closer until his lungs felt entirely barren of oxygen, causing him to squeeze his eye shut, gasping in a haggard breath, recoiling slightly as he continued. "I was just going to tell you...before, but when I saw you were dying, something came over me and I couldn't stop myself... I would've regretted it forever if I didn't do something. So I just...kissed you..." With guilt and chagrin weighing down upon him like a dense, suffocating blanket, Tony pulled his eyes open once more and forced himself to gaze into her face, despite how much it pained him. "I'm sorry..."

"Aw, Tony," Pepper uttered softly, her warm breath lightly tickling Tony's neck as she tilted further forward to speak near his ear, as though conversing something sacred and private she didn't want anyone else but him to hear. "It's ok; I don't care anymore anyway. You've told me now, and that's all that matters, even if it came out in an unusual way. And besides; I kind of liked it!"

Tony chuckled, feeling his heart quiver slightly against his ribcage as he pressed his palm further into hers, that strange feeling dousing through his veins like gentle shocks of electricity. "Really? Because if you are still mad at me, I think I have something that can make it up to you. Once I'm all healed, I'll take you to the Armoury and show you."

There was a tasteful heartbeat where Pepper's face washed blank with bewilderment as her brain spun with the new information calculating behind her expanding hazel eyes. Her breath paused as every muscle within her body became rigid before a grin crept onto her face, increasing until it was gaping wide with both rows of ivory teeth glimmering in the dim light. "You didn't?!"

A smug smile lifted the corners of his lips. "Of course I didn't. Why would I for the girl I'm crazy about?"

"Tony Stark! My hero!" Pepper squealed, her features as luminous as a star as she lunged forward, curling her arms generously around his neck. "I could kiss you!"

"Then why don't you?" Tony asked, a teasing smile hitching the corners of his lips as the memory of a similar occurrence resurfaced within his mind, leaving them both rosy cheeked and averting eye contact. Yet this time, there was no modestly, no secrecy, no shyness, no hesitation.

With a bubbling trill of laughter, Pepper's lips dived, slapping perfectly on his own. Tony's eyes drifted shut, the scents of honey soap, rosewood and silk completely distorting his brain as the entire world surrounding them became nothing more than empty space, flushing away as quickly as a Summer's tide. His body blazed with the heat of an inferno, feeling sparks shoot through him at the sensation of her fingertips brushing over his skin. He forgot how to breathe, yet that didn't seem to matter when she was his breath of fresh air, keeping his heart thrumming and his blood pulsing through his veins. He reached up, placing his hands on the small of her back, feeling each quaver jolt through her body as though it was his own. For a blissful moment, nothing else existed except them and how they felt about each other, until a slightly agitated clearing of the throat flinched them both back into reality, drawing them backwards from one another with flashing speed. It was as though water had doused the embers, the warmth jittering out in a breath-taking chill; the moment was over as though it had never come into reality in the first place.

Pepper unsnarled her arms from his neck, a bout of nervous laughter trickling from her lips, her cheeks almost identical to the crimson of her hair. With her lips twitching with a smile that was pleading to be realised, she mumbled, "I'll be back in a minute," before skipping from the room, an evident bounce in her heels. Tony chuckled as the door slid shut behind her and a faint whoop was heard from the other side.

Someone cleared their throat once again, this time more sardonically and Tony snapped his gaze upwards into Roberta's angled face, her eyes drawn and narrowed over him like slits of ice and Tony swallowed harshly, longing to seep away through the plain canvas of the mattress beneath him.

"Care to explain, Tony?" she asked, her lawyer's pitch back in business, scrutinising his every twitch and every daring attempt he took to breath.

"Oh, boy," Tony huffed, an airy chortle straining from his throat in his feeble hope of clearing the tension. "Where should I start?"

"Perhaps from the beginning," she prompted, cocking an eyebrow as she crossed her arms over her chest. "When were you planning to tell me you were Iron Man, if you ever were? In fact, when were you planning to tell your father about this?"

Tony winced at the harshness of her interrogation, hearing the truths within them and knowing that no matter how much he tried to say it nicely, it would come off as blunt and plain as it would if he sugar-coated it. "Look, Dad, Roberta, I was going to tell you. So many people knew that it was only a matter of time before you found out that I am Iron Man and... Rhodey's War Machine."

"Hey!" Rhodey yelped, throwing his arms in the air in a mixture of frustration and disbelief.

"Rhodey, they were going to find out soon enough," Tony sneered defensively, striking his friend with a piercing glare before exhaling once more, bowing down against the honesty that was finally spilling out of him. "Anyway, I wanted to tell you myself before you heard it from someone else... Clearly it was too late for that..." He twitched at that. "Look, I - I mean we - were keeping the secret to protect you. If Iron Man's enemies found out the truth about his secret identity, they wouldn't just come after me; they'd go looking for everyone I cared about. I wasn't going to let that happen. Although Doom finding out was kind of a set back. Plus, I knew that Iron Man would be as good as over if you found out before the time was right; Iron Man is who I am, and I'm never going to give up being who I am, ever again."

The room appeared to gasp in its breath, holding it as it lapsed into silence, mulling over his words until they were practically spinning in the din, swirling inside Tony's conscience and he wondered if he'd spoken too much, sending chips of his heart flying through the space so they could be grasped and observed by eyes he wished could be blind. Yet what was the point of hiding his desires, when they had already spurted out of him like his lifeblood, as raw and unshielded as a boundless blue sky? Tony reclined his head back down against the pillow, that vapid, exhausted feeling returning once more, livid with wariness and apprehension for the scolding that would surely erupt into life in a heartbeat.

Roberta's eyes had softened in their narrowness, yet still she took the liberty to once more clear her throat, despite the strain it obviously caused her, as though a jagged object was lodged inside her osophigas. "Well, James; we will talk when we get home. As for you, Tony; I can't help but feel rather disappointed that you hadn't found it in yourself to confined in me about this, yet I'm sure you father will make the right choice in deciding how to handle this."

Tony fixed his gaze on his father, his eyes stretched wide with voiceless pleading. Howard puffed out a breath, gently taking Tony's hand in his own, silently comparing Tony's burnt and scathed fingers against his own calloused ones. It revised memories of when he was younger and would always slice his hands on metals and glass that he was attempting to mould into his own creations; his father would always fasten a condoling hold on the scraped limb before turning it over in between his fingers, discerning the damage with an astute stare. After the plane crash, Tony had learnt to cherish those moments, the memories that had once seemed tedious and insignificant, as they were the first things to seep through the unsealed gapes within his mind.

Howard abruptly raised his eyes, catching Tony's in one foul swoop, vibrant blue on vibrant blue, burning with an intensity that had been etched into his own. "Tony, I want you to understand that I will not always agree with your choices, this being one of them. Yet I never tried to stop you. I never told you exactly how much I already knew, or at least assumed. From the moment I saw Iron Man in the paper, I knew it was you. Only you could have built that kind of tech. I could of stopped you, yet I don't believe forcing you to power down the armour was really going to be affective and I know that if I were your age with a weaponised, high-tech suit of armour...well let's just say no one would have been able to stop me if they tried. But also, I didn't want to stop you because I know how much it means to you. Ever since you were little, you've always wanted to help people in every way you could. I wasn't going to take that away from you then and I'm certainly not going to take that away from you now. Iron Man is apart of you, and I'm not going to punish you for that."

At first, Tony stiffened, startled by his father's words, yet gradually he eased, a smile creeping up on his face until it reached from ear-to-ear. "Thank you, Dad."

His father did not say a word, yet still he held Tony's gaze, his own beaming brighter than ever. He released his hand however, as Fury stepped forward to the side of the cot, a man carved in stone, yet never truly certain which element he belonged to; fire or ice? He gave Tony a one-eyed glare, yet instead of sinking away, Tony rose slightly beneath the covers, harnessing a glare of his own.

"You do realise the severity of what you have done? I thought I told you to say away from Doom; he has Diplomatic Immunity. I could easily arrest you for ingadging with him."

"I know, Fury. But I wasn't the one to start the fight; I was just trying to keep a close eye on him. Clearly it back fired, and believe me; I won't be doing that any time soon."

"Make sure you don't. In the mean time, we'll let you rest."

Slowly, the room filed out until it was completely empty and Tony sighed, grateful for the peace. He allowed his eyes to drift shut, overwhelmed by the drowsiness flooding through his brain and finally he slid into unconsciousness.

The nightmares are over. The dreams are dead. But what shall haunt him now when waking is all that remains?

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Hey guys! I know this is WAY overdue, but we've finally reached the end! I am SO sorry it took so long, just life got in the way. However, I hope you can forgive me with this chapter.

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited, or even followed this story! Your support means the world to me and I'm so glad you all enjoyed it!

Anyway, until next time!

HeartElyse

P.S. Don't be afraid to check out my other stories, if you're interested!