"You need to stop flirting with him," Wayne says.

Roxanne, in the middle of recounting the story of her latest kidnapping, puts down the coffee mug she was using to gesture.

"Come again?" she asks, arching her eyebrows. "Need to stop flirting with who?"

Wayne looks supremely uncomfortable.

"With Megamind," he says, lowering his voice and darting a glance around the cafe, as if worried they'll be overheard.

Roxanne's heart seems to stop for a moment in her chest.

"Wh—I do not flirt with Megamind," she says, and forces an incredulous laugh. "That's ridiculous."

Wayne stares at her.

"Roxy," he says.

Roxanne stares back at him, refusing to blink.

"Wayne," she says.

"Roxy, you definitely flirt with him," Wayne says. "And I'm telling you—you gotta stop."

"Okay, one," Roxanne says, narrowing her eyes and leaning forward for emphasis, "no I do not flirt with him. And two—I'll flirt with whoever I damn well please, Wayne; you are not the morality police; I don't care if you are a superhero—and three—it's just flirting; it's not like it actually matters!"

"So you do know that you're flirting with him," Wayne says.

Roxanne throws her hands up in exasperation and rolls her eyes, ignoring the way her stomach is twisting.

"It's a game, Wayne; it's our way of bantering!"

"But—" Wayne sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair, "—see, I was talking to Minion—"

"You were talking to Minion?" Roxanne asks.

"Me and Minion talk," Wayne says defensively. "I'm allowed to talk to Minion!"

"When do you talk to Minion?" Roxanne asks, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"While you're busy flirting!" Wayne says, crossing his arms. "Anyway. The last battle; Minion was in the Spiderbot—"

Roxanne resists the urge to correct Wayne's pronunciation—Megamind always says it 'Spee-eye-der-bot'.

"—and Minion kinda sorta said some things about how maybe I needed to talk to my 'girlfriend' and—"

"Is this you worrying that I'm making you look bad?" Roxanne hisses, hackles rising.

"No! Jeez, Roxy, will you let me explain? Minion kinda said some things about how Megamind always gets sorta—" Wayne clears his throat awkwardly, "—upset. When you flirt with him."

"Upset," Roxanne says blankly.

"Yeah."

"Oh, he does not!" Roxanne says. "Come on, Wayne; that's absurd! He has fun flirting back; it's a game, I'm telling you!"

"Minion says—" Wayne tells her, "that it's—afterwards—that Megamind gets all—" He makes a vague gesture.

Roxanne just looks at Wayne until he starts to squirm.

"Uh-huh," she says, finally, "well. Have you and Minion ever considered that maybe Megamind gets all—" she copies Wayne's previous gesture with vicious exactness, "—afterwards because he's just been, I don't know, punched multiple times and thrown through walls?! But yeah, sure, let's blame me."

"Roxy—"

"Drop it, Wayne."

He opens his mouth as if to argue further; Roxanne glares at him.

Wayne drops it.

Later, when she's taking off her makeup, she remembers the conversation and makes a face in the mirror.

Upset. That's nonsense. He enjoys it—it's a challenge; Megamind likes challenges. That's part of the reason Roxanne does it, because she loves the way his face lights up when the two of them are fighting to see who can make the other blush and back down first.

(part of the reason is the fact that she loves the way his face lights up and part of the reason is the fact that she loves—)

Upset. Please.

It would have to mean something to him, for him to get upset. And it doesn't. She doesn't. She resigned herself to that a long time ago, the fact that she has no real value to Megamind beyond him thinking she's Wayne's girlfriend.

That's another reason she does the whole combative-flirting thing with Megamind, another reason, actually, why she never screams for him.

She isn't scared, ever, of course, when she's with him, but screaming would probably make him unbelievably happy, and that, in itself, has been enough to tempt her to do it for him, sometime when the cameras aren't broadcasting. It would still be embarrassing, even if only Megamind was there to witness the screaming, but Roxanne's sense of her own dignity sort of flew out the window just a bit when she realized she's in love with a supervillain who likes to kidnap her on a regular basis; okay, there is no dignity to be salvaged in this situation; none.

But. Roxanne has a terrible suspicion that Megamind would get bored with her, if she ever stopped providing the intellectual challenge that her refusal to scream presents.

He would get bored with her, the way you get bored with a solved puzzle.

And Roxanne doesn't ever want that to happen.

So. She doesn't scream for him, and she teases him and she argues with him and she, yes, okay, flirts with him because she intends to keep his attention by any means necessary.

Roxanne wipes off her lipstick, looks sternly at her own reflection, and tells herself that she's not going to cry about this again.

She honestly forgets about the conversation with Wayne, the next time she's with Megamind. Not that it would make any difference, because she really is entitled to flirt with whoever she wants to, damn it, but she does forget.

Megamind is distracting, all right? His eyes, and the way he moves—that skintight leather outfit is going to be the death of her, she swears—and the way his voice seems to curl around her and caress her skin when he leans forward and murmurs in her ear that no one can save her now. And so of course Roxanne has to tilt her head enough so that she can murmur in his ear—what, did you forget to call Metro Man this time?

(she feels that's remarkably restrained, under the circumstances; what she really wants to say is let's just forget about Metro Man and I don't really want to be saved and also kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, please.)

Roxanne forgets about the conversation with Wayne right up until the end of the kidnapping, after Wayne has destroyed the latest weapon and rescued her from the latest deathtrap and Megamind is in handcuffs, leaning against a police car and looking bored while the cop that 'assisted' in his capture is interviewed.

And Wayne, getting ready to be interviewed by another group of reporters, meets Roxanne's eyes over their heads and gives her a Metro-Man-Is-Very-Disappointed-In-You-Citizen look and Roxanne abruptly remembers his admonishment not to flirt with Megamind and feels heat flare over her cheekbones.

But. Well. Here's the thing that most people seem to fail to realize about Roxanne: she's got a rebellious streak about as wide as Megamind's, though hers is a little less obvious. She doesn't take kindly to people trying to control her and that particular look, the I-Am-Disappointed-In-You look?

Roxanne's mother could tell Wayne how well that look doesn't work.

When people try to pull that card on her, Roxanne just gets angry, and when Roxanne gets angry, she gets reckless.

Roxanne raises her chin deliberately and stalks through the crowd towards Megamind.

His eyes light up when he sees her moving towards him, his expression of boredom falling away.

"You know, we really have to stop meeting like this, Megamind," Roxanne says, stopping in front of him, "people will talk."

She bites her lip and smiles, and then actually flutters her lashes at him—a thing she's never tried before; she's always assumed it would get her laughed at, but wow Megamind doesn't look like he wants to laugh at all; she'll have to do this again sometime—

"Temptress," Megamind says, low and slightly breathless. He narrows his eyes. "Is this you endeavoring escape my vengeance? My e-vil is unmoved by your—" he licks his lips, "—attempted wiles."

Roxanne opens her eyes wide.

"Oh, dear me, whatever shall I do?" she asks, in her best damsel-tied-to-the-train-tracks imitation.

Megamind's expression goes shocked and his cheeks flush lavender, and Roxanne laughs.

"So same time next week, then?" she asks, amusement in her voice, watching Megamind blush even harder, his ears turning pink-tipped now.

Roxanne gives him a moment to respond, but he doesn't; he's too busy staring at her with wide eyes and blushing and oh yes, Roxanne definitely won this round of the flirting; all points go to her.

She wants to make her victory really complete, though, so she puts her hand on his upper arm (he goes perfectly still at her touch; Roxanne feels it) and leans forward and whispers in the pink-tipped shell of his ear.

"It's a date."

She leans back and looks into his face; Megamind looks stunned. Roxanne takes a moment to memorize his expression, and then lets go of his arm and walks away.

"Roxy," Wayne says through gritted teeth, pulling her aside, away from the crowd, "why would you do that?"

"Because I felt like it, Wayne," Roxanne hisses back.

"You need to stop," he says.

"You need to get off your high horse and mind your own damn business!" Roxanne says.

"I explained why this is bad!" Wayne says, "Why can't you just listen?"

"Your explanation was ridiculous and I don't buy it!" Roxanne says. "You—"

"Roxy!" Wayne says, "come on, please will you just—"

It is at this point that the smoke bomb goes off and Megamind escapes.

Roxanne steps off the elevator and moves down the hall to her apartment door.

Right, so—plan for the rest of the night: ten minutes of seething over her argument with Wayne, fifteen minutes of wallowing in misery over her unrequited feelings for Megamind, twenty minute shower, then dinner. That should give her just enough time to go to bed and spend half an hour staring at her ceiling and wondering at what point her life spiraled so far out of her control before finally falling asleep so she can dream about a supervillain who isn't ever going to want her back.

Perfect.

She rounds the corner of the hall and stops short because Wayne is waiting by her apartment door, still dressed as Metro Man and looking grim.

"Oh, come on!" Roxanne says in exasperation. "Are you seriously going to start with this again?"

"I really don't think you're understanding how bad this is," Wayne says.

"It's just flirting!" Roxanne says, "It doesn't mean anything!"

"Yeah, that's—kind of the problem, Roxy," Wayne says, looking uncomfortable.

"What is the problem?"

"I think maybe," Wayne says, "I think maybe it does mean something. To him."

Roxanne stares at him.

"That isn't funny, Wayne," she says coldly.

"I'm not joking!" Wayne says. "Damn it, Roxy—okay, you know what," he adds, voice frustrated, jaw clenching in determination, "I'm just gonna show you."

"Show me wh-aaaah!" Roxanne's words cut off into a shriek of surprise and outrage as Wayne lunges for her and grabs her, picking her up as though she weighs absolutely nothing.

"Wayne Scott, you let me go this instant!" Roxanne says, the hallway and stairs of her apartment building moving past her in a dizzying blur as Wayne flies at near-superspeed.

She tries to shove him away as they leave her apartment building and swoop into the air, sidewalks and buildings rushing past. Obviously, this does nothing.

"This is your own fault for not listening," Wayne tells her.

Roxanne opens her mouth to tell him exactly what she thinks of that comment, but gasps instead as they fly directly at a brick wall.

She makes a terrified noise, eyes closing involuntarily (oh god oh god she's going to die she's going to get splattered all over this wall), but the impact doesn't come. And when she cautiously opens her eyes again, they are—

—in the Lair.

What the hell—

Wayne covers her mouth with his hand; Roxanne thrashes uselessly and resists the urge to bite him only because she doesn't want to break her teeth.

They're hidden in an alcove behind a curtain and in the shadow of a half-assembled battlesuit, but Roxanne has a clear view of a couch, a lab table, and a full-length mirror.

As Roxanne watches, Megamind steps into her line of sight from around another half-constructed machine, and Roxanne feels her eyes go wide.

She stops struggling to get away from Wayne; she doesn't want Megamind to realize that they're here; Wayne bringing her to spy on him is a thing that she can't imagine Megamind being okay with, and he'll probably never believe that Wayne brought her here against her will—

Megamind sighs, reaching up to undo the clasp of his collar. He takes off the whole cape and shoulder array, tossing it onto the lab table, and rubs a hand over his face in a tired sort of way, and the polite thing to do right now would be to close her eyes, but Roxanne can't seem to make herself look away from the sight of Megamind, looking so—so unguarded.

He slides his hand down the side of his neck, pauses, then glances at the mirror. He bites his lip and then softly, hesitantly, touches his fingertips to his own arm.

His face flushes again, cheekbones and ears going pink, like they did when Roxanne—

—like they did when she touched his arm; when she touched his arm the way that he's doing right now, his fingertips placed exactly where hers were, his expression so soft and open that it almost hurts Roxanne to look at him, and oh, is he—can he be—?

He presses the heel of his other hand hard against the center of his chest, as if he's wounded there, as if he's trying to keep himself from bleeding out. He looks at his reflection in the mirror, and his expression in the glass twists into something miserable and bitter and hopeless and lost, and he picks up a wrench from the lab table and throws it his own reflection.

The mirror breaks with a sharp noise, the wrench clattering to the ground, and Megamind makes a hurt sound and sinks to the floor, his knees pulled into his chest, his arms wrapped around the top of his head.

He stays like that for a long moment, curled up into a ball, his shoulders shaking silently.

A brainbot flies down and hovers near Megamind's shoulder, making an uncertain mechanical crooning noise. Megamind takes a shuddery breath and raises his head, reaching out for the brainbot, running his hand over its glass dome.

"Shh," he whispers, "it's all right; daddy didn't mean to scare you."

The brainbot nuzzles into his palm and then flies off; Megamind wipes the tears from his face and takes another deep breath.

"Sir?" Minion hesitates in the shadows on the other side of the room.

"It's fine, Minion," Megamind says, and he sounds tired now, so tired. "I just broke another mirror." He laughs, and that sounds tired, too. "Seven years of bad luck; what a change that'll be."

"Sir, please—"

"I'll get you another mirror tomorrow," Megamind says, and then sighs and gets to his feet, moving as though his bones are made of lead and his skin is made of tissue paper. "I'm going to sleep."

Minion hesitates.

"All right, Sir," he says, quietly. "You get some rest."

Megamind gives him a grateful look, and then disappears into the shadows of the Lair, his arms wrapped around his chest and his shoulders hunched.

Minion watches him go and then sighs and walks away in the other direction.

Wayne holds the two of them in place for several long moments, and then he relaxes his grip, letting Roxanne go.

"You see, Roxy?" he says in a low voice. "I know the flirting thing doesn't matter to you, but—"

"I was lying," Roxanne whispers, pressing her own hand to her chest, the way Megamind did, earlier, feeling her heart beating hard against her ribcage. "That was—I was lying; it does matter; I didn't think he—I didn't know—Wayne, I have to go talk to him."

She turns a stricken gaze on Wayne, who gapes at her for a moment, mouth opening and closing.

"Wait," he says, "you mean you—? Really?"

And then his face breaks out into a smile.

"Oh, wow; that's—yeah," he says, "you go talk to him, Roxy. Hey, does this mean we can stop fake-dating now?"

Roxanne gives a shaky laugh.

"Yeah," she says. "I think we can stop fake-dating now."

"Oh, good," Wayne says, "'cause, I, uh—" he clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck in an embarrassed way. "—I think I'm gonna go ask Minion if he wants to get coffee."

Roxanne blinks at him for a moment.

Then she smiles.

"Minion, huh?" she says. "Oh, 'me and Minion talk, Roxy'; 'I'm allowed to talk to Minion, Roxy'; 'Minion says, Roxy'—"

Wayne goes red.

"Aw, shut up," he mutters.

"Wayne," Roxanne says, "this has honestly been the best breakup I have ever been privileged to be a part of. High-five?"

"High-five," Wayne says, holding up his hand, looking relieved, smiling now, too.

"Time to go seduce our supervillains," Roxanne says, high-fiving him.

Wayne splutters.

"Sedu—Roxy!"

Roxanne snickers.

"I'm just gonna ask him out for coffee," Wayne says in a scandalized whisper.

"Hmm, you have fun with that," Roxanne says, "I'm planning on—"

"OhmigodRoxyIdon'twannaknow!"

Roxanne laughs quietly; her heartbeat is still too hard and too fast, but she feels—she feels happier than she has been in a long time.

"Good luck, Wayne," she says.

"Yeah," Wayne says, "yeah, you, too."

Regardless of what she said to mess with Wayne, Roxanne isn't planning on actually seducing Megamind, although her resolve is sorely tested when she finally manages to locate his bedroom and he answers her knock on his door shirtless.

"Oh, that is just unfair," Roxanne bursts out, without meaning to.

"—you're not Minion," Megamind says blankly.

"You're not wearing a shirt," Roxanne says, feeling that the universe is conspiring against her.

"Wh—uh?" Megamind says.

He blushes furiously and crosses his arms over his chest like he's embarrassed.

"I—you—what—" he says in a strangled voice.

And Roxanne remembers him wrapping his arms around himself like he was hurt, remembers the expression on his face when he looked at himself in the mirror, and she steps forward without making a conscious choice and throws her arms around him.

Megamind goes startle-still, the way he did when she put her hand on his arm and whispered in his ear. He doesn't seem to know how to react, but Roxanne doesn't let go, continues to hold him tightly, and eventually he reaches up and hesitantly wraps his arms around her.

Roxanne's breath catches. She presses her face to the curve of Megamind's neck and breathes in the scent of his skin, and hears him take a sharp breath in response.

"Hey," she says, voice shaking, and leans back so that she can look at his face.

He looks dazed.

"—ollo?" he says. "I—I don't understand what's happening, Roxa—Miss Ritchi; how did you get in here?"

"Wayne brought me," she says, mesmerized by the green of his eyes, by how close he is, "I think he's gone now, though; he went to ask Minion out for coffee."

"…what," Megamind says flatly.

Yeah, that probably wasn't very—clear—was it—oh god, his eyes—

Roxanne cups his face in her hands and his eyes go even wider, his lips parting as his breath hitches.

"What—what are you doing?" he asks in a hushed voice as she traces little circles on his cheekbones with her thumbs.

Roxanne takes a sharp breath.

"Telling you that I love you," Roxanne says, then leans forward to put her lips beside his ear.

"I love you," she whispers, and then leans back again.

Megamind stops breathing and just—stares at her, for—so long that Roxanne's heart twists with nerves—did she—did she read that whole—the thing with the mirror, did she read that wrong somehow—did she misunderstand—?

"Is—is that okay?" she asks uncertainly, voice wavering. "I—it's just that I thought—I mean maybe I was wrong, but I thought—I thought maybe you—loved me, too?"

"T-too?" Megamind asks, his voice shaking even more than hers.

His hands are shaking, as well, when he reaches up to thread the fingers of one hand through her hair and stroke her cheek with the other.

"God, Roxanne, of course I love you," he says, that soft and open and vulnerable expression on his face again, but better now, because it's mixed with hope and awe and adoration and he's looking at her.

"Of course I love you," he says again, "and I never—I never imagined—I never thought—that there would be a 'too'—with—that—"

Roxanne sways forward, until their foreheads touch and the sides of their noses brush together and Megamind's breath ghosts over her lips.

"Can I kiss you?" she murmurs.

"Oh," he says softly, "I'm dreaming, aren't I?

His fingertips slide over her jaw to touch Roxanne's lips, and she shivers.

"Do you dream about me, Megamind?" Roxanne asks, her lips moving against the tips of his fingers like a kiss.

"Yes," he says quietly, and it takes all of Roxanne's self-control not to kiss him.

"I'll tell you a secret," she whispers, "I dream about you, too."

Megamind takes a sharp breath, there in the space between their mouths.

"Kiss me," he says, voice low and almost desperate, "kiss me, please, Roxanne; kiss me before I wake up—"

Roxanne kisses him. She starts off slow and gentle, brushing her lips over his, then softly pressing her mouth to his lower lip, his upper lip, the sharp corners of his mouth. Then she slides her mouth over his again, teases the seam of his lips with little flicks of her tongue that make him gasp and part his lips for her.

He's surprised, she can tell, the first time she touches her tongue to his; he makes a startled noise and freezes for a moment. Roxanne, worried she's pushed too far, draws back slightly, wondering if she should stop. But then he presses forward into the kiss and shyly parts his lips for her again, lets her lick into his mouth, curls his tongue hesitantly around hers.

Roxanne tightens her arms around him, pulling him closer. Megamind makes a soft, sweet noise and winds one arm around her waist, his other hand on the back of her neck, his thumb over her pulse point.

She loses track of time a little, loses count of how many kisses they exchange—or maybe it's one single kiss that doesn't end, each of them only able to pull away to breathe for a few seconds before the other one pulls them back into the kiss.

Eventually, though, Megamind does break the kiss, pulling away to look at her, his hands on either side of her face.

"I'm—I'm not dreaming," he says, sounding shocked, "there is—entirely too much sensory detail for this to be a dream."

Roxanne laughs, feeling a little bit breathless and entirely happy.

"No, you're not dreaming, Megamind," she says, "neither one of us is dreaming this time."

"I still don't understand what's happening," he says.

"Oh, really?" Roxanne murmurs, "maybe I'd better show you again."

She leans forward and kisses him once more, feeling him laugh into the kiss.

"Yes, thank you, I think I do—comprehend that part," Megamind says, when they break away to breathe again.

"Are you sure?" Roxanne asks, arching her brows and grinning.

"Hmm, no, maybe you'd better—demonstrate once more," Megamind says, and cups her face to kiss her again.

"Okay, okay," Roxanne says, breaking the kiss only by exerting an impressive amount of willpower. "Okay, actual explanation—"

Megamind hums and kisses her jaw and Roxanne gasps a little, head tilting back. He presses his lips to her throat.

"—you have a couch," she manages to say, "—right? Let's—let's go sit on the couch. So I can explain."

Megamind hums again, this time in agreement, and Roxanne has to kiss him once more.

To be fair, they do (eventually) make it to the couch, but the explanation—

The explanation ends up getting postponed until Wayne and Minion come back from their date with leftover coffee and pastries to share.