So this prompt is from a good friend and a great author mississippimudpiecraves. She insisted I write a story that entails Shika wooing Temari with chat up lines since I like to use them myself. Now while it won't be the main theme of the fic you should get to read quite a few of my favorite lines and maybe you can add them to your list. The content rating is T for now but may change to M later.

I figured it'd be a nice late birthday present and she has also been pestering me to write it for months now. Also it's my first ShikaTema multichap.

and for those of you that say "Pickup lines are bullshit; they don't work", I believe they work quite well for what they're meant for and that is to get the person to smile and it also works as a great ice breaker. Now without further ado; continue on to the story.

Enjoy!

Parties were always a drag, parties hosted by the most energetic 23 year old in your group was sure to be nothing but a major pain in the ass. At least that's what Shikamaru Nara was thinking as he took another swig from his beer.

Clack.

'C'mon Nara lighten up a bit, it's your girlfriend's birthday. What's so bad about a party anyway?' Naruto said as he managed to hit the cue ball into the table's net.

'First of all Ino is your girlfriend, I told you we have never dated. Secondly what's not bad about these parties; it's dimly lit, the music is too loud and clearly trash, half the crowd is drunk, I can see at least 3 couples that ought to be in a room, and there's no one even remotely interesting to take home.'

'Are you still in your post breakup hook-up stage Shika? Really? It's been 2 months, find yourself a nice girl instead of just messing around.' Ino said as she took aim for her shot.

'Don't listen to her man; Casanova never listened to his women, that's how he remained a player.' Kiba said flashing him a feral smirk. 'Seriously though; if you keep up your streak I would be facing some serious competition.'

'Really babe, what competition are we talking about?' The pinkette asked; clearly intrigued.

Realizing the grave he was digging he wrapped an arm around her waist before placing a kiss on her forehead. 'You know I was kidding babe.'

'Better be.' She said before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 'Besides, I'm sure there must be at least one girl that's caught your eye Nara. It is Ino's party after all; the place is swarming with models.'

'I'm not in the mood for that.' He replied as he pocketed another ball.

'Oh please tell us, what is the great Shikamaru Nara in the mood for?' Naruto asked as he rested his palms on the table edge.

Finishing his bottle of beer, Shikamaru took aim before pocketing the 8 ball. 'Someone that isn't easy.'

'That's got to be the most sexist thing I've ever heard and that's saying something considering I'm dating dog boy over here.'

'You love me nevertheless, Woof.'

As the group made their way from the pool table to the bar, the front door opened and two ladies walked in. On seeing them Ino shrieked, 'Tenten, you made it.'; which was followed by an equally high pitch shriek from the girl as they hugged each other and swayed from side to side.

While the group looked at Ino and Tenten, Shikamaru's eyes appeared to be captivated by a much better sight. Standing a bit behind Tenten was a girl with rich sandy blonde hair tied into four pigtails, she wore a black slinky cross neck dress that ended a few inches below her butt and gave a tantalizing view of her ample breasts.

She has a great body; she doesn't look malnourished like most of the girls at the party, and those legs, they go on forever, but what in the world is that hairstyle, did she just come from kindergarten.

The group left Ino to continue talking to her new guests as Shikamaru took control of the bar and began serving his friends and a few guests that came by. Sakura found a few old classmates and decided to go mingle with them.

'Kiba, did you take a look at that blonde chick, she's a solid 10.'

'I know. I swear if I wasn't dating Sakura I'd definitely chat her up, hey Nara you're single take one for the both of us and bed the blonde beaut.'

Looking up from the drink he was making he stole a glance at the blonde before focusing on the mix. 'Not interested.'

Naruto's jaw dropped as he and Kiba stared at their friend then stared at each other before staring back at Shikamaru. 'Are you crazy, you won't find a hotter girl anywhere else. What's wrong with you?'

'Like I said, I'm in the mood for something more challenging. I don't want to sleep with an easy girl today.'

'She looks like she'll be anything but easy, in the words of the great Nara, she looks Troublesome.'

'I can't believe I've to explain this to you Kiba. Okay first rule of finding someone that's easy, don't look for someone that's clearly standing out and don't focus on someone that's clearly not trying to fit in. They're either not interested or have massive confidence to be different and hence become the harder prey. Look for the girl that's you'd most likely miss on first glance but has an interesting quirk to themselves, giving us our Subject A. She is definitely good looking with a great body and face, my guess is she's most likely a model. She knows she looks hot but is always in need of someone justifying the fact for her because even though she seems intimidating on the outside she most definitely has low self-esteem. She jumps at the first person that shows her interest as she receives satisfaction from the fact that she is wanted, of course said admirer has to be equally good looking as like most humans with low confidence she is superficial. Not to forget her hair-do; an obvious method to subtly gain attention because she likes to be the centre of attention.'

On hearing that Kiba burst out laughing. 'Okay, I'm going to give you some advice from a person that's been doing this long before you were even sexually aware. That girl is one of the hottest 10's I've seen in my life. Now while you do look good, no homo, the chances of you even getting her remotely interested in you is very low. But since you seem so confident in yourself care to make a wager on it?'

'Oh, oh, I'm in. Also sorry buddy but I'm placing my bets on Kiba's side.'

'Wait I'm not finished, since you're so confident, we shall make it harder for you.'

'I'm listening.'

'You can only woo her using chat up lines.'

'What crap, chat up lines don't work.'

'My point exactly, but, if you manage to woo her using chat up lines; I'll get the famed Mei Terumi to model for one of your shoots.'

'Don't bullshit me, Mei is the most sought after model right now; even Ino couldn't get her to model for us and she is Mei's student.'

'Well you see, being a vet has its bonuses. Mei just so happens to owe me a huge favour as she put it; for saving her dear Chojuro, which is a pretty bad name for a dog.'

'Okay; as much as this goes against my morals, you're saying you'll get me a photo shoot with Mei if I prove to you I can take the blonde home.

'Pretty much.'

'Troublesome, I don't like betting on women's feelings but okay I'll make an exception this time. Hope you have her number on speed dial.'

'Don't stress, I'll give you a month to woo her.'

'Like I'll need that long.'

Looking to the left he noticed the blonde making her way to the bar with Ino and Tenten.

Grabbing two beers from the fridge he gave them to his friends before making his way towards the girls.

'Hello ladies, what can I get for you tonight?'

'Shika, it's been so long. How are you?' Tenten exclaimed.

'Not too bad; when did you get back from Suna?'

'We just arrived last night, oh by the way this is my friend…'

Before she could complete her sentence Shikamaru was looking straight into the teal orbs of the blonde.

'Hey, most people call me Shikamaru; but you can call me tonight. And you are?' with that he extended his hand out to her.

Both Ino and Tenten just stared at the blonde in horror.

Staring right back at him, the blonde looked amused by the slight smirk she wore. Without flinching she slung the strap of her clutch on her shoulder and replied; 'Leaving.'

And with that she spun on her heels and made her way to the exit.

Tenten unsure of what to do laughed awkwardly before hugging Ino and rushed after her friend.

'You're crazy Nara, you had to hit on her didn't you.' Ino said before storming away from him.

Retracting his hand he glanced to the side where his friends were shaking in fits of laughter while trying not to fall off the bar stools.

Alright blondie, you've piqued my interest. You're the first woman that hasn't jumped me at hello. Guess you weren't the easy type and something tells me we're going to be seeing a lot of each other very soon.

Thanks for reading the first chapter.

Now this was written in 4 hours and is an AU so you may feel that the characters come off as OOC but I shall do my best to keep the characters as true to the original as I can. Also sorry if you don't like shika being a player, but it's kinda important he be so for the plot to work.

Ofcourse some OOC is inevitable; it wouldn't be my own without it.

Next chapter may take a while since i have finals starting next week.