Hello guys! This is the first chapter of the story "Five Times." This prompt (not specifically this chapter but the '5 times Character A did this and that to Character B') is probably cliche, but what can you do except review and give me healthy criticism. I will post the next one soon, I think, probably on Dec 31 or Jan 1. It depends on the WiFi.

Okay then, enjoy the story!

Prompt: 5 times the Company thought Bilbo was perfect

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hobbit. Never had and never will.

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I.

Bombur thought Bilbo was perfect. If he wasn't married to his beautiful wife, Bera, he wouldn't have minded courting a hobbit.

Really, Bilbo would be the perfect mate. He was a great cook and host, he was polite and kind to everyone (including Thorin), he didn't make fun of his weight, and most importantly, he wasn't an elf. All that was missing was the fact that Bilbo didn't have a beard!

However, he was already married and he had kids, Mahal bless his family; there was no need to think about the Hobbit. His brother, cousin, and Bera would kill him if he thought otherwise.

That didn't mean Bilbo Baggins wasn't perfect in Bombur's eyes though.

II.

Bilbo Baggins was a perfect scholar, Balin thought. He was one of the only ones in the Company that actually enjoyed books (one out of three, really. The other two were him and Ori) and didn't mind talking about anything, from history to dwarf customs to languages.

(Balin didn't mind Bilbo's random and insistent questions. It reminded him of Frerin, Fíli, and Kíli when they were youngsters. He missed those times when they were curious about the world, and if he had to admit it to himself, he missed Frerin and his mischievous ways.)

If they actually defeated the dragon and reclaimed Erebor (not that he doubted Thorin and the rest of the Company, it was just too easy to doubt their mission), perhaps the advisor could convince Thorin to allow him to teach the Shireling some Khuzdul words or two.

Bilbo Baggins knew how to keep a secret and he would be perfect for such a task.

III.

Kíli liked Master Boggins. He was a perfect friend. Not that he didn't like his brother's company, no, but even the Second Prince liked his time away from the blond dwarf. But Master Boggins was perfect when Kíli was either willingly or unwillingly separated from his brother.

Bilbo was surprisingly fun to be around. He told the most interesting stories he ever heard (mostly about Mater Boggins' mother's adventures), rivaling his Amad. He could take a joke well. He indulged Kíli's shenanigans yet could rival their uncle's scolding when they (admittedly) did something stupid.

He was the perfect pranking victim in the whole Company!

(It would also hone his 'danger-sense' as Uncle Thorin called it and would aid him in battle. So Mister Boggins owed him for helping him!)

IV.

Dwalin was impressed (slightly!) on the Burglar's behavior. Not only did he make that mushy speech about helping them reclaim their homeland, he also protected the king even though he didn't have to nor did he have any training with his letter opener whatsoever.

(It pained him to see the small creature swing around the small weapon haphazardly. Dwalin lost count of how many times he swore the Hobbit would hit himself or a nearby companion when they were in battle.)

The warrior was impressed that the Child of the West managed to survive his first (real) battle. Not everybody could say that.

So that will be the reason Dwalin would be teaching the Burglar how to properly use his weapon. He had potential (no matter how little; in fact everyone did) and he needed all the training he can get if the Shireling wanted to survive their quest.

However, if he failed in getting the Arkenstone, there will be one pissed-off dragon ready to blast stone-melting fire.

Bilbo Baggins would be the perfect appetizer-slash-sacrifice before Smaug unleashed his fury and flames on Middle Earth should they fail.

V.

Thorin could only describe Bilbo Baggins in three words: perfect yet infuriating. The Hobbit was perfect from the top of his honey-golden hair to the top of his hairy feet.

The Shireling was the perfect height for kissing his adorable forehead (not that he ever tried before). His brown eyes had a sparkle that could outshine any gold. His smile was perfect with its slightly lopsided grin.

Yet, somehow, he was infuriating. The Burglar didn't put up with his behavior (Thorin had to admit, with shame, that he didn't really give a good first impression, or any impression, really, other than his brooding mood). He was sarcastic at times, yet helpful and kind most of the time. His sword-swinging needed work but it just gave him more appeal (the dwarf had no idea why when before he liked experienced warriors).

He was an excellent cook and he worked well with younglings (Fíli and Kíli were still bloody children, mentally-wise). He got along with everybody and even managed to get under his skin, which was very hard to do (or not).

Bilbo Baggins was infuriating but that just made him perfect. He was perfect in every sense of the word.

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Shadow: Ok, some of them were pretty cliche, like Thorin and Kili, maybe even Balin. I can imagine Dwalin thinking this, because really, he doesn't seem to like Bilbo that much (might be because of that fan art where Dwalin was shaking Thorin during BOTFA and shouting, "I'm siding with Bilbo! BILBO!") plus since he's the first one to encounter Smaug, Bilbo will be theoretically the first one to die. I don't read much Bombur fics so I thought I'll be different, and also because I don't know what I as thinking when I wrote this fic during a party. *sighs* I'm pathetic.

Dwalin: *distant yelling* I don't hate the Burglar, yeh stupid girl!

Shadow: Thanks for the reassurance, Dwalin!

Bilbo: Are you writing fanfiction of me again?

Shadow: *yelps* Nope! No way, Bilbo! You don't see me writing fanfiction! *closes Word subtly*

Bilbo: Delete that right now, Shadow!

Shadow: Never! The Company loves yah! Bye!

Bilbo: Shadow!