The following isn't an actual chapter, it's just a reflection on the fic and my journey as an author, written more for my own sake than anything else. If you want to read it, great, but there isn't any more story to be found here.

A post Catalytic reflection

By Strandshaper

...and feauxen the exasperated beta reader

(I hope you didn't think you were the only one who learned from this, author of mine)

(Wouldn't dream of leaving you out)

Catalyst was, at the beginning, little more than an idea that was bouncing around my skull enough times that some of it stuck to the walls, and quite honestly began as little more than a slow burning power fantasy. (This is how 90% of all beginner fiction starts out, don't worry. ~f) Molding life to my will to create fantastical creatures and massive societies is an idea that did and does appeal to me, enough that I've gone into bioengineering in my effort to pursue it in the real world. Abathur, the Evolution Master, who lived and breathed this concept, made a convenient avatar for this idea. He was and to a certain extent still is the ideal I strive for even in much the same way that he strives toward his own ideals of 'perfection.' At this point I've spent enough time in his head that a considerable number of his thought processes have rubbed off on me. But back when I first started this fic, it was little more than a reason (and an excuse) to delve deeper into Abathur as a character and a concept. Looking at the world through his eyes and exploring the fantasy inherent in simply being Abathur was just fun, and the medium of fanfic authorship provided an excellent way to enjoy such explorations. The crossover with Harry Potter was largely a matter of convenience. (Yeah, he started this was before we knew each other, so he can't blame my Pott-headedness for this one. ~f) Not only is Harry Potter a very large fandom with many readers who might enjoy my story, it also has a multitude of magical creatures for Abathur to use. Making the story a crossover with such a popular and well-known story also helped lower the barrier of entry to the story, psychologically speaking.

That said, I'd be lying if I didn't add that another of the primary motivations for starting this fic was boredom. On the precipice of my 2017 summer vacation, I found myself without much in the way of things to do in the foreseeable future. So, faced with the thought of hours wasted on YouTube, I decided to instead sit down and write out the damn idea that was swirling around my head. (Yeah, I've been there. ~f)

At first I just brought my computer down to the library and drew up a basic google document that detailed the broad strokes of what I wanted to happen in the fic. Then the next day I wrote out the first chapter. That afternoon I showed the chapter to my dad, who's an english teacher, and had him look it over. He disappointed me that day. (Not that you knew about it for months to come. You weren't actually disappointed until I came along and pointed out how many basic flaws your writing had and got you looking back over your work. ~f) I had to go back to that chapter in November of the same year and fix it up so that it wasn't a complete and utter piece of crap. I disappointed myself that day, and I still cringe looking back on that chapter. (Such is the pain of authorship. Old works are always, infallibly, irredeemable trash. ~f) I was repeating words and phrases far too often and in the wrong places, what dialogue there was simply isn't worth talking about, and that was just the start. But regardless of my skill or lack thereof, I managed to churn out chapters very regularly, and posted them to a surprisingly rapidly growing following until chapter 15, which wasn't terribly notable for its contents, but rather for one of the reviews that came for it.

Yes, that's the chapter that really set off our relationship. Although I wouldn't cast aspersions on its notability, since it was the first chapter in quite a long while that reminded me of the reason the story had caught my eye in the first place. That chapter, a rather thrilling piece where Abathur and the Golden Potter Trio face down the basilisk, had action. It had Abathur dissecting fascinating magical creatures and interacting in his uniquely brusque way with his 'camouflage' and it teased at the idea that Abathur would one day use the Basilisk's essence for something truly spectacular (if horrifying) to behold. And in a story that had been slowly drowning in mundanities that were really only there to align with the less interesting parts of Harry Potter canon, the chapter was a breath of fresh air. So I said as much in a review, hoping to inspire the author to write more like it.

I was not expecting said author to quote Abathur at me and request my services as a beta reader. (After a fairly sizable and illuminating conversation wherein he guessed a few plot points ahead of time.) Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about that part. Either way, I certainly wasn't expecting to become a beta reader, and had indeed mostly given up on the idea of ever being a beta reader at all. But I looked at Strandshaper and saw myself from a few years previously, and I couldn't help but give him some advice and guidance. (Turns out we're clones. Who knew?) Yeah, I kid you not, the first three things we said to each other we literally said the same thing at the same time. It was eerie. And I won't pretend that our similarities haven't been problematic at time either (oh, the hours-long arguments) but that day I found a kindred spirit, and a friend who's stuck with me ever since.

Of course, this friend also flat out refuses to learn apostrophe rules no matter how many times I explain them to him, something that has caused me a ridiculous amount of frustration. I mean honestly, how hard can it be?

Wait I'm supposed to be talking about the story.

*ahem*

So, after we established that Strandshaper is a slightly defective clone of me, we set to shoring up his long-term plans for the story. It was fascinating just how similar his writing process was to mine, and how many of my early mistakes I saw him making. Although I'll admit, it took me quite a few false starts before I started writing out planning documents, so he was ahead of me there. (Also, I actually finished.) Yeah, rub it in, why don't you. My story still has more hits than yours. :P

From there, the rest is rather dull, really. We had the occasional 3 hour long argument about some tiny little detail that was nonetheless very important in the grand scheme of things (or occasionally on whether or not immortality is going to be achieved within our lifetime, those were fun) but for the most part Strandshaper wrote, and I edited, and the story progressed. I did have to help him out quite a bit when Luna came into the picture, because he had absolutely no idea how to write her. But aside from the scenes with Luna in them, this story is largely Strandshaper's pride and joy, with my style coming out in the fine details of the writing.

Pride and joy may be a bit simplistic a way to describe how I feel about it. Coming into this, I had a few criteria for myself and what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep Abathur in character, and I wanted to avoid the trope where the inhuman monster of a main character becomes more human and gets redeemed, because that didn't seem really possible with him. And looking back, I certainly feel like I managed to portray him accurately and avoided the trope, but as feauxen was so kind to tell me way back then and as I've learned on my own since, that's not really enough. You need to have an interesting plot, character development, an organically changing world, and so many other little tiny details. Back when I started and I first wrote that planning document, I planned one plot arc for each of Harry's years at Hogwarts. Not because that made sense for my story, but because it was what everything other story I'd seen had done and I didn't know any better. I spent half a page on just what zerg monstrosities to throw in at the end, not realizing that they didn't really have any relevance other than how cool I thought they were. (Oh man, that was a fun conversation. ~f)

Now of course, I know better. I'm not perfect obviously, but I know how to create interesting characters (Mostly. ~f) and write arcs and stories and motivations for them far better than I did before, but that neophyte knowledge I started with was what I had to base the rest of the story on. I couldn't go back and rewrite the earlier chapters to better fit my new knowledge, because they were already posted, so I just had to keep going on. I was building a jenga tower of a fic, and even though the new layers I added were relatively more stable, I knew that the foundation was still weakening the structure as a whole. That's why it became harder and took longer to write each chapter (well, that and schoolwork), and that's why I found myself enjoying writing this less. I think that's also why the ending of this story, built up and dramatic and conclusive as it might be, still had bits and pieces that didn't work as well as they could have. I'm not sure how much of that is fact and how much of that is over criticism of my own work, but I don't think I have the stamina to wade back through my painful early works or the objectivity to determine one way or the other. (As a more objective viewer, I can definitely say that there were things that didn't fit well. Most of them I tried to remove or change, too, but you insisted and so I did my best to fit them in. Still, it's a fun read and as fanfiction that's all it needs to be. Don't sweat the details so much. You're going into biology, not writing. ~f)

Looking back at Catalyst, I feel a mixture of pride and shame. I'm proud that I managed to do all of this in the first place, proud of the elements I did well on. The things like capturing each character's voice, growing as a writer, and setting out a plot 3 years ago and coming close to actually sticking to it. (Well, to the revised version anyway. You don't want to know how the original was supposed to end, it was...bad. By more than just one definition of the word. ~f) Admittedly true, that was one of the first things we changed. I'm also ashamed at all the cracks and holes and incongruities I never did quite manage to cover over, but even taking into account all that, I certainly don't regret writing this. Writing this fic lead me to feauxen, who's remained a good friend for all this time, and through him it lead me to to the larger community where I found many other dear friends and also one obnoxious nazi, (Oh no, you're giving me flashbacks to the ozzapocalypse. Why would you do this? ~f) but even then, I wouldn't trade them or this fic for anything.

I'm well aware of what Catalyst is, and what it isn't. It is a first time attempt at writing, carried through to completion. It isn't a masterpiece, it's a solidly entertaining fic with some good ideas executed well, and some bad ideas executed not so well. (And a few good ideas executed poorly, too. ~f) Yes, thank you for that wonderful insight. Regardless, it's not the best fic in the world, but it is at the very least a decent one that entertained some people. If you enjoyed it, great, I'm glad, I did try my best, even if that best varied from start to finish immensely. I enjoyed writing it, the creative process, the discussions, the arguments, and everything that resulted from it. I did intentionally leave elements of the plot open to a sequel, should I ever feel like starting again from a more solid foundation. Maybe I'll even start a whole new long fic. But for now Catalyst is done, and so am I. It's been a long 3 years, and I feel like I deserve a bit of a break.

-Strandshaper

~feauxen